Embrace Life

the current | forty-three (the retrograde version)

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 4:55pm on 15 october 2014
weather outside: a cool 12C - feeling muggy
mood inside: reflective and mellow

We are in the middle of the final Mercury Retrograde of the year. I have learned to embrace these 3-week anomolies in my year. I am a Virgo's Virgo and Mercury is my friend - so I learned from the astrologist at Canyon Ranch in April :) As part of my journey to knowledge, earlier this year I posted about the effects of the season and decided to finish up the year by incorporating it into my current "current" post. (Typical of the time, I searched my blog archives for the post when I thought of this idea - and it was nowhere to be found, until I started writing. Strange. Expected.)

REsiding in my lovely new home. My favourite room is the kitchen/family room. Or maybe my office. Nah, my bedroom. There are so many good places I can't seem to settle on one thing that is "best" and that is a good thing!

REviewing content. What do I want to keep blogging about? What do I want to keep crafting? What do I do that brings me the most joy?

REalizing just how much has changed in the last year. In the last five? It's completely mind-boggling.

REnewing my attitude and approach to my health and the super-gross-and-disgusting amino acid supplement powder I have to take every day. Not only does it taste awful, the texture is worse than anything I've ever been forced to consume.

REflecting on oodles of old photos - thousands of them. I want to enlarge four photos - one for each kid - and put in the family room. Tough process.

REviving my passion for reading. I have spent the last few months reaquainting myself with writing. It's now time to read, for the joy of it.

REminding myself that I am exactly where I need to be right now.

REsearching an idea for my hero's journey. I think it just might work!

REconciling myself to the reality that some people cannot help themselves and find a hobby - like reading, or crochet, or painting. No, their idea of a hobby is meddling. Help me to be patient and quiet!

REviewing my new wardrobe and finding myself happy with the results.

REmembering to put myself on the top of my list.

REfreshing my view of some old situations. Making sure I am looking at situations and people with my own point of view that has not been tainted by the views of others. 

REbounding from another flipping cold! Consuming zinc, vitamin C and oregano oil at an alarming rate!

REcalling the things that made me happy, really happy, when I was a child. First and foremost were colouring books. And jigsaw puzzles. It's time to revisit those activities and bring them back into my life.

RElocating boxes - from the garage into the basement. Hoping to put on the shelves soon!

REconsidering my stand on travel since one child wants to go to the Turks & Caicos for reading week and another wants to travel the Ring Road in Iceland. I'm busy researching both. (Can my kids be any more different in their choices of destination?)

REelect signs are EVERYWHERE. It looks like we're in for a few more years of same-old-same-old.

REfinishing the kitchen table and chairs will be a big project! It is desperately needed, but may have to wait until next spring, when we can eat at the table outside.

REnegotiating my non-negotiables. Some I've had out of habit for years. It's time to delve a little deeper and see what works and what doesn't.

REstoring my enthusiam for cooking. I have new cookbooks - all of the "one pot" variety" which has helped with the clean up!

REmoving all doubt, it's time to move into my Next Chapter by reinvesting in myself and my plans for the future.

And, after much thought, I decided to review my purchasing of juices from Tree of Life and reordered the green (#1 and #3) drinks to supplement my poor vegetable consumption:

the current | forty-two

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:17pm on 22 september 2014
weather outside: a cool 12C - feeling crisp
mood inside: quiet with just me and chloé at home

drinking a glass of perrier, no ice

eating a bowl of berries: black and blue

embracing the feeling that this house is starting to feel like home

enjoying the delivery of new couches from crate & barrel, delivered this morning

cooking minimally. with just two of us at home there is a lot of winging it!

trying to keep up with my supplement and medication schedule. an overhelming 37 pills a day!

missing claire at university, cole in boarding and caden in temagami.

feeling like i'm on the edge of something new and exciting.

listening to my intuition, and finally giving myself permission to pay attention and act on what it is telling me.

watching "the voice" is on in the background. i love this time of year, the start of the new tv season. i wonder which will survive? almost a guarantee it is not the one i fall in love with watching!

reading jan karon's new book "somewhere safe with somebody good" - it is so nice to be back in mitford, north carolina again!

wearing my new oversized olive-drab sweater. my sister will be horrified! :D

packing a box of school books for consignment. the forms have been filled. i just have to put it in the truck and head off to the store.

planning to sell the suburban. i think. i'm vascilating. not good. just one more project.

stopping all of the second guessing and negative self talk. it's time to leave all the f***ing drama to those creating it and not engage.

wanting a massage. oh, and a foot rub!

needing to find a way to make the "foundation formula" - am and pm versions and customized "amino acid" powder taste better. seriously. in their current state they are completely unpalatable! if i won't take it because it tastes like caca then it does no good for me, right?

wishing for my kids to make good choices.

waiting for the townhouse to sell so i can finally move all of our belongings into the new house and settle in completely. tired of having moved all of the contents and not the containers. living in clutter city!

thinking how incredibly fortunate to live the life i have.

enjoying always having something to do.

paying attention to all of the crazy wildlife around here. huge black squirrels hoarding small acorns and tiny red squirrels hoarding huge nuts of some kind. and the raccoons - very busy beasts.

encouraging all of my kids to make authentic choices - courses, friends, parties, activities and so many more challenges. choose what resonates with them and do it.

celebrating the change of season. i know most people think summer was just cold and wet and autumn is simply an extension of the same, but this season makes me joyful. time to use the new camera!

cultivating a new start, a foundation on which i plan to build my future.

marveling at match.com and the cesspool of crazy it contains. though, on a different level, it is great fodder for story characters!

anticipating more change, more kindness, more challenge, more frustration, more embracing, more learning, more love. yeah, that. more love.

and tada, a photo from my week:

the current | forty-one

the - school is about to begin - edition

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 10:18pm on 27 august 2014
weather outside: a still 27C - feeling muggy and damp
mood inside: quiet, everyone is settling in for the night

drinking a mug of green tea - trying to soothe my throat

eating the last of the delicious super-crispy chocolate chip cookies

embracing with much reluctance, the reality that while the other house is beautiful and staged for sale, this new home has all of the clutter with no place to put it!

enjoying that my kids are so enthusiastic about everything.

cooking apparently very well. though i continue to be less than enthusiastic, i am proficient. my kids are loving everything i make and i am appreciating that their pallets have matured - finally!

trying to come up with a plan for autumn. there are a lot of moving parts and i want to do so many things!

missing the routine of the school year, but relieved to know it is only a few weeks away.

feeling under the weather. i've been tired as a result of a brutal summer cold that has kept me up all night, every night, coughing non-stop for over a week.

listening the whir of the overhead fan and hum of the washer and dryer.

watching "who do you think you are" with rita wilson finding her roots.

reading the "boys in the boat" in my e-reader. it is so good - but long. when i write my book, this is the way i want to write.

wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants. oh so sexy!

packing cole for school. he's been asked to arrive a bit earlier than planned so we're in full move mode!

planning for the fall term ahead. claire is off to university for her second year, cole for his final year in boarding, chloé is heading back for grade 10 and caden is starting high school. planning for school, voice lessons, volleyball, writing courses and all of it!

stopping to appreciate all that is wonderful in my life and revel in my gratitude for all of the "busy" and full and frantic and fun!

wanting to magically have everything moved and put away and settled.

needing to move more. to sleep more.

wishing for caden to be having a fantastic week away at volleball camp up north with his buddy. i'm happy for him to meet new people and learn new skills.

waiting impatiently for my appointment with the doctor to tell me my test my results. i've never been so frustrated. i'm thinking of just getting all the test results and taking them to medcan. i am done with this nonsense.

thinking i have to figure out how i can do all that i want to do and still write the story i have in my head. and then the story after that. and the one after that.

enjoying knowing i still have stories to write.

paying for more truck repairs. holy smokes. teenagers take their toll!

encouraging an enthusiastic, fully focused and engaged start to the school year.

celebrating the promise of routine a few days away. okay, a week away, but hope is alive!

cultivating a happy household of open communication. now that we're in a bigger place, with more doors and more privacy, i am making sure we have plenty of family time - either at the kitchen table sharing a meal or watching a stupid reality show on tv in the family room.

marveling at how much the kids and i accomplished in such a short period of time. in the course of three months: we bought a house, (partially) moved, put a house on the market, applied and accepted to a prep school, drove to massachusetts - twice, spent holidays in cape cod, had two homes painted, drove to multiple baseball and softball games and practices, camps and cottages and concerts and then the smaller but equally significant events that kept the summer moving along.

anticipating more change, more kindness, more love, more challenge, more frustration, more embracing, more learning, more love.

and tada, a photo from my week:

 

 

the current | forty

the we're at the beach - edition

dateline: cape cod, massachusetts, u.s.a. edition @ 6:26pm on 26 july 2014
weather outside: a breezy 72F - and mostly cloudy
mood inside: ex. time to exhale! exams are done and all are quiet and exhausted.

drinking another glass of up-graded sauvignon blanc - i'm drinking california swill :)

eating an order from showtime pizza as cole was unable to locate much at the local stop&shop.

embracing the familiarity of all that is our summer destination of choice. as well as a number of changes in the house: new thermostat system, new carpeting (the painful sisal is gone!), new linens and beds.

enjoying the sights and sounds of our annual visit to cape cod.

cooking as little as possible. focusing on mostly breakfast and lunch. out for dinner!

trying a new holiday plan - nothing. everyone is now independent enough to be on their own.

missing claire who is still in oakville - working.

feeling tired after a 10+ hour drive. but no more tired than mr. jet-lagged or ms. math course!

listening to american television. it is exhausting.

watching the watery horizon.

reading nothing at the moment, but a few magazines were packed and the kindle is loaded.

wearing crop pants and t-shirt. feet are bare. love summer!

packing er, unpacking. amazing how little we need to bring on our annual holiday now that the kids are older and pack for themselves.

planning absolutely everything. from the colours to every room in the new house, to the linens for chloé's new room (we hope!) at school, to cole's new room at school, to caden's new volleyball team - or organization. there is no moment not planned, or at least considered.  

stopping the regular apology for so much planning!

wanting to feel 100% rested and refreshed.

needing to drink way more water every day. not coffee. not tea. not wine. water.

wishing to be completely settled into the new house - with my bed!

waiting impatiently for the doctor to call back with my results. seriously thinking of just getting all the test results and taking them to medcan and be done with this nonsense.

thinking i don't want to think at all.

enjoying sleeping in a king size bed.

paying for neglecting myself for so many years. so much work ahead!

encouraging the kids to try as many new things as possible. they're going into boston to fenway. we're going to salem to check it out. i'm game to take them wherever they want to go.

celebrating our time at the seashore. tasty seafood. ocean waves. salty wind. pink and blue hydrangeas. we look forward to this time every year. so wonderful. 

cultivating a pace that i hope is sustainable through the year - or at least the end of summer!

marveling at how much caden has grown - he must be 6' tall!

anticipating some fun behind the camera.

and tada, a photo from my week:

beer, er, ginger ale pong :)

we're on beach time ... so i'm posting more than a few days late :)

the current | thirty-nine

the we've just moved - again - edition

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 11:18pm on 18 june 2014
weather outside: a clammy 21C - yes, humid!
mood inside: exhausted yet open and optimistic

drinking a glass of very cold sauvignon blanc - out of a red solo cup as the kitchen is still intact at the old house and i am at the one with internet!

eating on the fly. trying to make good choices! the problem is the club makes the best french fries.

embracing change - and the dust that comes with it.

enjoying the first page of this next chapter.

cooking clean and healthy.

trying to juggle schedules: a move, end of school year, work and social lives of four teenagers!

missing a sense of calm and comfort as we go through this transition.

feeling über organized! executing plans according to schedule. well, all but the fridge install! but hey, wasn't i planning on being on the phone with goeman's tomorrow? ;)

listening to the silence of our new neighbourhood. as cole says, "it's dead quiet" - witty that boy of mine :)

watching boxes as they sit waiting to be unpacked in the living room.

reading lists. many, many lists in an effort to execute many projects as flawlessly as possible!

wearing crop pants, t-shirt and fit flops (my summer uniform).

packing not just a house! with the guidance of an extensive packing list, we are also packing for cole's trip to eastern europe and caden's visit to muskoka. so exciting!

planning the best way to celebrate the end of this latest adventure. champagne? nah. i'm leaning toward a week of sleeping and doing absolutely nothing.

stopping the crazy running around to be more mindful of what i eat, how i move, what i think, how i speak.

wanting to hear from the u.s. prep school one way or the other so we can make a plan for september!

needing to get the painter in to make this place feel more like home. yes, that means a rusty nail bedroom for me and a spiced rum office. considering an autumn leaf (now called spanish red) kitchen/family room.

wishing for the time to focus on the conscious booksmith and start (and hope to complete) the assignment for my intensive creative writing class.

waiting impatientlyfor all of the final marks to come in!

thinking it's time to get on paper - or in the computer - stories and tender whisps of ideas swirling in my head.

enjoying the journey. all of it.

paying attention to the calendar and setting up appointments and making plans for fall and beyond.

encouraging the kids, by all but example, to pace themselves and enjoy their summer. i'm also encouraging them to take in as much as possible. oh, the contradictions in growing up!

celebrating my surviving seven consecutive years of middle school. some years were better than others. now just four more years of high school awaits! pray for me.

cultivating a daily practice that is consistent and do-able.

marveling at how wonderful my kids are and how they (even sometimes reluctantly) embrace change.

anticipating a hot summer filled with fun, travel, photos, music, stories and adventure.

and tada, a photo from my week:

the current | thirty-eight

the current | thirty-seven

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 8:42pm on 28 may 2014
weather outside: a lovely 20C, it's about time!
mood inside: contemplative and positive

drinking a bottle of very cold perrier.

eating lots of almonds, greek yogurt, bananas, sliced turkey, pumpkin seeds - plenty of fresh and healthy eats :)

embracing change. the minute i settle into any sense of comfort change comes knocking on my door! (and then the door changes.)

enjoying making plans with friends for the summer ahead. a bit of cottaging. a bit of golf. a bit of travel. a bit of nesting. all things that make summer, summer.

cooking on the bbq. loving the bbq.

trying to organize my days to manage my homework!

missing a couple of days this month due to some flu. bad timing!

feeling grateful. quite literally vibrating with the need to express and revel in it.

listening to the unending noise outside my window all night long. it's been going on for a while. i'm thinking i should get up one night to walk over and find out what is making that awful noise!

watching the stanley cup finals. 'tis the season! i do love the sport of hockey. i am equally happy my sons no longer play the game.

reading the new books for summer reading: the ocean at the end of the lane by neil gaiman and the things they carried by tim o'brien.

wearing shorts and tanks - work clothes and work-out clothes.

packing many many many boxes!we've been to u-haul and purchased two 25-pack bundles of boxes. i know we'll be back to buy more!

planning the logistics of a big move & working out the finishing touches on summer camps and holidays.

stopping briefly to take it all in.

wanting to get to the point where i can simply slow down and take it all in - with joy, appreciation and relief!

needing to settle into a slower pace. i suppose i will when i find the time!

wishing love and joy and peace and acceptance to everyone.

waiting for good news to come from outstanding projects: chloé's school applications, cole's visa applications, kids' identity change requests, the house to close/sell, the new litter to be born, exams/ascent/pol to be complete, so much going on!

thinking this has been a CRAZY FULL (to the point of busy) MONTH!

enjoying the rare quiet moments in my life.

paying mindful attention to what i want. what i really want. and then letting that be enough without interference from others idea of what i should have.

encouraging caden to play golf this summer. and claire, cole and chloé too!

celebrating every opportunity to watch my kids on the ball diamond and enjoying time at the volleyball pit.

cultivating the life i want. the life my kids want.

marveling over my kids no longer being children. when did that happen? they are growing into such incredible people :)

anticipating a few exhaustive emotional melt downs as the evaluation period (exams, ascent, pol) comes for it's annual two weeks of slow torture.

and tada, a photo from my week:

Caden played King Triton in the Middle School Musical Little Mermaid. He, as all the kids, rocked it!

the current | thirty-seven

the current | thirty-seven

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:18pm on 23 april 2014
weather outside: clear and a mild 8C, whoot! finally on the positive side!
mood inside: optimistic and energized

drinking a cold glass of sauvignon blanc.

eating hummus and multigrain crackers. organic, of course :)

embracing my full house. it is so very nice to have claire home. with all four here, my home feels complete.

enjoying nhl hockey playoffs. the kids are all rooting for montréal, the only canadian team left in the mix. just watched an amazing game - columbus vs pittsburgh. i don't care who wins. i'd rather see a good, hard-won game of hockey. this was a good one!

cooking plenty at home. after my return from canyon ranch, i'm re-dedicated to making better choices! have you been to tree of life here in oakville? just placed my first order.

trying to be open and supportive. of everything.

missing the quiet air and heat of the desert.

feeling a bit frazzled. the calendar has filled up very quickly. normally there is space to breathe - but wow, this is a bit much!

listening to the chatter of my kids. nothing makes my heart happier than when my four children are all home together reconnecting.

watching so many season finale's! i'm not used to shows finishing up in april. what ever happened to "may sweeps"?

reading "you should have known" by jean hanff korelitz, recommended by my friend, meg. a bit of a "gone girl" feel so far, not sure if i should be so wary. (note: just proof-reading at 11:24pm and it's finished. a good read.)

wearing fleece and sweaters. still.

packing away things for claire to take to school for next year: dishes, plates, cutlery, bedding - it's a big deal planning for a house of seven kids!

planning some updates which require a bit of paperwork. actually, a lot of paperwork. getting it all done!

stopping all of the procrastinating. taxes? done.

wanting my home in complete order and slowly we're getting there!

needing to not worry so much every time my kids are out driving around town. i'm really not worried about them, they drive well - just all the other ding-dongs on the road. the ferocious garage? another matter entirely.

wishing love and joy and peace and acceptance to everyone.

waiting for warmer weather. (yes, there is a theme.)

thinking my sister andrea rocks!

enjoying my new courses: writing and art. tuesday and friday mornings in burlington. bliss!

paying attention to the structural improvements that have to be made in the house. eventually it will all be completed!

encouraging my kids to go for their dream.

celebrating the choices my kids are making. every day.

cultivating ideas. so many ideas.

marveling that after years of knowledge, effort and dedication, i have not dropped one ounce! argh. frustrating. time to figure out what i'm doing wrong. and then do it right!

anticipating a big push for year-end marks ahead. the big scramble for assignments and submissions. exhausting. emotional. many lessons to learn.

and tada, a photo from my week:

i love the tradition of the senior boys rugyby team after practice and games, walking down the length of the field singing (guide me oh thou great jehovah). i've known these boys since their voices were much higher. so lovely to see them grow up! looking forward to rugby season!

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:18pm on 23 april 2014
weather outside: clear and a mild 8C, whoot! finally on the positive side!
mood inside: optimistic and energized

drinking a cold glass of sauvignon blanc.

eating hummus and multigrain crackers. organic, of course :)

embracing my full house. it is so very nice to have claire home. with all four here, my home feels complete.

enjoying nhl hockey playoffs. the kids are all rooting for montréal, the only canadian team left in the mix. just watched an amazing game - columbus vs pittsburgh. i don't care who wins. i'd rather see a good, hard-won game of hockey. this was a good one!

cooking plenty at home. after my return from canyon ranch, i'm re-dedicated to making better choices! have you been to tree of life here in oakville? just placed my first order.

trying to be open and supportive. of everything.

missing the quiet air and heat of the desert.

feeling a bit frazzled. the calendar has filled up very quickly. normally there is space to breathe - but wow, this is a bit much!

listening to the chatter of my kids. nothing makes my heart happier than when my four children are all home together reconnecting.

watching so many season finale's! i'm not used to shows finishing up in april. what ever happened to "may sweeps"?

reading "you should have known" by jean hanff korelitz, recommended by my friend, meg. a bit of a "gone girl" feel so far, not sure if i should be so wary. (note: just proof-reading at 11:24pm and it's finished. a good read.)

wearing fleece and sweaters. still.

packing away things for claire to take to school for next year: dishes, plates, cutlery, bedding - it's a big deal planning for a house of seven kids!

planning some updates which require a bit of paperwork. actually, a lot of paperwork. getting it all done!

stopping all of the procrastinating. taxes? done.

wanting my home in complete order and slowly we're getting there!

needing to not worry so much every time my kids are out driving around town. i'm really not worried about them, they drive well - just all the other ding-dongs on the road. the ferocious garage? another matter entirely.

wishing love and joy and peace and acceptance to everyone.

waiting for warmer weather. (yes, there is a theme.)

thinking my sister andrea rocks!

enjoying my new courses: writing and art. tuesday and friday mornings in burlington. bliss!

paying attention to the structural improvements that have to be made in the house. eventually it will all be completed!

encouraging my kids to go for their dream.

celebrating the choices my kids are making. every day.

cultivating ideas. so many ideas.

marveling that after years of knowledge, effort and dedication, i have not dropped one ounce! argh. frustrating. time to figure out what i'm doing wrong. and then do it right!

anticipating a big push for year-end marks ahead. the big scramble for assignments and submissions. exhausting. emotional. many lessons to learn.

and tada, a photo from my week:

i love the tradition of the senior boys rugyby team after practice and games, walking down the length of the field singing (guide me oh thou great jehovah). i've known these boys since their voices were much higher. so lovely to see them grow up! looking forward to rugby season!

the current | thirty-six

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 8:04pm on 18 march 2014
weather outside: brisk, clear and a mild -1C
mood inside: we're in week 2 of break, content and lazy

drinking a very large glass of water (after a very large glass of sauvignon blanc).

eating as well as i can as often as i can.

embracing this new idea of "letting go". i seem to have come full circle and it's time to embrace the idea of release.

enjoying longer days and warmer-ish temperatures.

cooking only one meal each day. it's time to automate breakfast and lunch - and stick to this practice!

trying to slow down and be more picky about how i spend my time.

missing my stuff! where did i put my wallet? where did i put my keys? and where in blazes is the clicker? argh. it's endless.

feeling excited to greet spring and the nice weather ahead.

listening to the continual hum of the washer and dryer. cole has returned from kingston with a bag full of clothes, caden has sweaty volleyball stuff and the pod makes for plenty of laundry for me three times each week.

watching the voice. this has to be one of my very favourite "reality" shows. i love that the contestants learn a lot from coaches who are competitive, talented and, above all, kind. remarkable.

reading so many books on how to write, i don't know if i can!

wearing clothes that fit. nothing too loose and sloppy. nothing too tight and binding. a whole new selection.

packing away paper. endless piles of paper. i've spent most of the break filing, filing, filing. so good to get everything cleared and organized.

planning summer holidays straight ahead. friends, baseball, camps and camping, volleyball, muskoka, music, adventures, softball, swimming, europe, courses, jobs, visiting, plays, concerts, sightseeing, seashore, parties, barbeques, family. joy.

stopping negative self-talk that has been creeping back into my thoughts. i've done an amazing job in the last couple of years and really need to focus on the victories not the small tweaks that remain. there is no perfect.

wanting to get fit and healthy.

needing to remember that fit and healthy does not mean thin.

wishing to live one pain-free day. then maybe two.

waiting with impatience for my flight to arizona. still too far away!

thinking of how very proud and happy i am that my kids get along together. they are a tight unit and will defend each other from anyone or anything that hurts them no matter how much they might squabble.

enjoying the ladies of my desire map book club. so glad we're sticking together! a tremendous group and i'm thrilled to know them all!

paying camp and activity fees for the summer ahead.

encouraging my kids to be honest in their opinions even if i might disagree with them. they know where i stand and i love that they push me to try to figure out why and the limits.

celebrating the start of the final term of the school year starting early next week!

cultivating open and frank conversations with everyone i know.

marveling at my amazing kids. they have gone through a lot of challenging experiences and have managed to stay kind, centred, humble and polite through it all. the universe keeps testing and they keep proving. happy mama!

anticipating lots of studying, frantic last-minute planning, wet and cold cheering from the stands at rugby and softball games, getting right back into the swing of term 3.  

and tada, a photo from my week:

well, really a photo from summer, but i love that caden is there jumping with everyone from his camp. claire sent it to me earlier today :) gets us all into the mood!

the current | thirty-five

dateline: atlantis, paradise island, the bahamas @ 11:07pm on 19 february 2014
weather outside: clear skies and 24C
mood inside: happily enjoying our last evening here in paradise

drinking an overpriced, yet tasty, margarita.

eating meals i don't have to cook. though, i have to admit, mine are starting to taste better.

embracing any one-on-one time i am able to spend with my kids. especially enjoying the last few days.

enjoying knowing i can migrate websites, set up emails and lay the groundwork for a plan, still rattling around in my head :)

cooking as clean as possible. and it has been surprisingly possible. now to get the kids on board!

trying to experience at least one or two new things each month. though, for the shortest month of the year, there were plenty of new things this month! more than two each week!

missing the rest of my kids.

feeling crispy, rejuvinated and happy.

listening to the evening sounds of water and air. lovely.

watching the olympics kept us glued to the television for most of the month. weird having access to cbc here in the almost-tropics! enjoying watching everyone at plato's bar glued to the hockey!

reading with my kindle so i didn't have to lug any big books with me. it's been enjoyable. i have to remember to do this with any novels - or books that don't have to be read with a pen in hand.

wearing an old and worn night shirt. comfy! glad no one has to see me :D

packing my bags for our departure. sad to leave but happy for having the opportunity to escape the ice and snow - worse this season than in recent memory.

planning to enjoy cole as he performs in "leader of the pack", the school musical next week. rehearsals are underway!

stopping my hope that people will change. they'll change when they want to and that may not be in my lifetime :) there are oodles of things to stop, and i'm glad there's very little left on the list.

wanting to clean out the garage and give it a good sweep, take the bikes in for tune ups, replace the grungy recycle bins. really? i just want a dose of spring and the cleaning that comes with it.

needing to remember this wonderous state of well-rested and not succumb to exhaustion again.

wishing my kids would clean their rooms and do their own laundry. (a mum can only live with hope in her heart!)

waiting for some suppliers to get back to me with quotes.

thinking of the stories i want to write. short stories. novels. poems. plenty of things (finally) swirling in my head.

enjoying the process of learning "brush script" techniques with kal barteski.

paying close attention to the kids as we wind down this second, and shortest, term. they won't volunteer what they need for the next, but they will have to buckle down and focus on studying. good grades = good opportunities. i don't like it, but that's how the system works. my job is to support them.

encouraging my kids to follow their dreams. then make them happen.

celebrating days filled with sunshine. even in the cold the sunshine makes everything feel better.

cultivating friendships with a diverse group of people.

marveling at the resilience of my kids. even chloé currently on crutches is showing the stuff she's made of and not succumbing to any negative and drama.

anticipating the march break which is coming up quickly. no real plans have been made. there'll be plenty of time for sleeping, reading, enjoying and dreaming. sounds good to me! 

and tada, a photo from my week:

the current | thirty-four

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 11:22pm on 22 january 2014
weather outside: sleet and -14C
mood inside: tired from a long drive back from kingston to visit claire for the day

drinking a glass of very cold sauvignon blanc.

eating greek 0% yogurt, usually strawberry, each morning with a dozen almonds. delish!

embracing my choices - they are in complete alignment with how i want to feel. wow. what a wonderful difference to be in such a gentle and mindful place.

enjoying the potential of a new creative idea i've been cooking up with my friend, robin.

cooking remarkably few 'from scratch' meals. winter is my favourite cooking season but spending much time in the truck is not condusive to the recipes we like. time to bring out the crock pot!

trying to get things done - not just thought.

missing my girl even though i just left her!

feeling fatigued. my full schedule is starting to catch up to me. that and i really do not enjoy driving at night, but it is preferable to sitting in traffic.

listening to the television. i am so very tired of rob ford leading off the newscast. he's hopeless.

watching the overflowing sink filled with dirty dishes. there was clearly not much got done around the house when i was away today!

reading and catching up on emails, facebook and the many texts missed while driving.

wearing pajamas. thinking it's time to get a new set.

packing project boxes. time to get all of these creative ideas organized. and then started. oh, and completed, too!

planning summer camps and holiday travel for this summer. the kids get 11 weeks of vacation and i'd like them to have plans for at least half of that time. the rest they can relax, play, daydream - and maybe read a few books.

stopping to be appreciative of all the changes i've made in my life. now is the time to really enjoy the improvements - big and small.

wanting to make the best of what has historically been the most challenging time of the school year for me and the kids. the bitter cold of the last few weeks is not helping matters. not one bit!

needing to be more focused on my nutrition and eating more - better - foods.

wishing for wonder.

waiting for warmer weather. at least the last few days have brought sunshine and for that i am immensely grateful.

thinking of adult "field trip" ideas. pottery. painting. dreamboards. retreat.

enjoying leaning in to resistance. nothing too challenging. the lesson? it's true - on the other side of fear is just what i need.

paying for another project - pot lights. as much as i love my townhouse, it can be a bit dark. it's time to shed some light around here! thanks to meg, i have an electrician arriving this week.

encouraging myself to keep saying "yes" to opportunities.

celebrating the incredible gift that is my "desire map book club". every tuesday evening is a joy. i'm enjoying knowing my veteran friends in a whole new way as well as meeting new women. all of us sharing a similar mind-set. it has been indescribably positive.

cultivating an attitude of calm and patience. this is not a natural state for me, but every once in a while there is a glimpse and it's lovely.

marveling at the weather. i know, i know, canadians are always talking about weather but this winter (after a crazy hot summer) has been simply brittle.

anticipating longer days ahead. my joy when i realized the other day that i was not waiting in the parking lot to pick up the kids from school in the dark!

and tada, a photo from my week:

the current | thirty-three

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:31pm on november 20, 2013
weather outside: winter is on it's way!
mood inside: frazzled and a bit out-of-sorts

drinking perrier with a slice of lemon. in a wine glass. today has been a long, lovely, day!

eating steel cut oats every morning, i prefer it with raisins and walnuts. yum. thinking about adding in some cranberries, too.

embracing new ideas. this is exciting!

enjoying the challenge involved with dreaming up a new business and plan.

cooking lots in the crock pot and bbq while waiting for delivery of the new double oven range.

trying to stay focused and avoiding the temptation to go down the technology or pinterest rabbit hole.

missing what happened to 2013. blink. it's almost gone!

feeling proud of myself for attending regular (2x) weekly reformer pilates classes. i can really feel the difference. it's great!

listening to the silence of my house. my kids are studying or sleeping.

watching our local news. oh rob ford - put the city of toronto first you narcissistic buffoon! what a nauseating display.

reading about all that is required of me as a leader of danielle laporte's desire map book club: the biggest book club ever. i can't wait to get started! what are you doing on january 7th? join in here.

wearing layers. always layers. my body is currently going through some wonky temperature fluctuations! hormones, phewy.

packing scrapers, blankets and emergency supplies into the truck. it's that time of year, for sure!

planning how to decorate for christmas this year. i'm thinking it's time to change things up a bit and have a more "grown up" feel to the house. including pretty breakables! pottery barn? crate & barrel? restoration hardware? inside? outside? big? small? whole house? living room/dining room only? i might be talking myself out of it altogether!

feeling relaxed and calm. i'm finally in a groove. just in time for the end of term! it figures. just in time for things to change up again!

stopping the habit of busy. some of the meanest people i know describe themselves as "busy". i do not want to be that.

wanting to have a fun conversation with an adult - preferably one with a deep, masculine voice who enjoys football :) caden's crackly baritone is enjoyable, but a change might be nice ;)

needing to be a bit more patient with myself on so many levels.

wishing for healthy, active and engaged days ahead.

waiting is not something i'm very good at doing. but i am trying hard to be patient and use my time constructively :)

thinking of going away with claire in february for her reading week - someplace hot and quiet. now where should we go? ideas?

enjoying learning how to use my new pendulums. this is becoming a fascinating journey and i'm learning so much!

paying for too many years sitting at a desk. i've been moving and stretching but have to realize it took years to get this creaky. it's going to take some effort to make everything move like it should!

encouraging my kids to be calm as they prepare for their upcoming exams. breathe in - 2 - 3 - out - 2 - 3 and again. and again.

celebrating how uncomplicated our lives have become. wonderful.

cultivating a practice of self-care and meditation. daily. my priorities are shifting and it's a good thing.

marveling at how quickly time flies and how my kids are growing into lovely and thoughtful young adults with lives of their own.

anticipating a lot of hard decisions ahead. on the lighter side, what creative projects will i choose? #reverb14? one little word? still life photography? desire map for life? project life 2014? week in the life? revive 12 of 12? the biggest book club, ever? keep up with the blog? join the circle of fire?

and tada, a photo from my week:

 

the current | thirty-two

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 8:22pm on october 30, 2013
weather outside: overcast and unseasonably chilly - waiting for rain
mood inside: hopeful - the boston red sox could win it tonight (update: and they did!)

drinking cranberry tea in my oversized "skype with claire" mug

eating a babybel round of cheese and a few apple slices

enjoying the crisp autumn days that come with october

cooking comfort food, one of the best parts of these cooler days. today we had shepherd's pie. delicious!

trying to live in the moment and take each day as it comes

missing my girl still away at university. sometimes 3 hours away seems just way too far away

feeling fantastic as there is no more (or comparatively little) pain left in my hip or foot - now it's my knee and back. sigh.

listening to chloé fill me in on the minutea of all things social at school

watching and really enjoying james spader in "the blacklist"

reading my latest copy of kinfolk

wearing my new gaiam sticky-soled socks, yoga pants and a sweater

packing away all of the summer clothes and shoes

planning my creative calendar for the next few months

feeling content, really mellow and calm. it's lovely

stopping any habit that does not serve me and my higher purpose. if it doesn't bring out the best in me it's toast!

wanting to feel completely rested, 100%

needing to spend some focused time going through and file all of the memorabilia, photos and lumpy-bumpy ephemera collected for my kids. it needs to be in some kind of order!

wishing to be caught up so i can focus on other stuff

waiting for a few ducks to get in their row

thinking i have to re-visit the idea of supplements - at least some omega3, and D, and some C too, given the season

enjoying reformer pilates. it never in a million years would have occured to me to try it. i'm learning to lean in to resistance

paying attention to little things because some day they might be big things and i'd like to be prepared

encouraging my kids, and anyone who asks, to put their passions first and foremost. i'm learning to take my own advice :)

celebrating the friendship and support the kids and i receive regularly from a lovely community of people we've allowed into our little family

cultivating a kernel of a business plan and - deep breath - i think it's going to work!

marveling at how wonderful my life has become with the more i allow myself to become me

anticipating a low-key, rain filled and creatively full november ahead

and tada, a photo from my week:

nothing beats having a solid group of girlfriends - i am so very fortunate!

the current | thirty

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 8:17pm on september 18, 2013
weather: cool and clear. lovely.
mood inside: quiet and cozy. just waiting for duck dynasty :)

drinking a mug of steamy hot earl grey tea.

cooking has always been more of a burden than a joy. i'm hoping to change and have a better relationship with food preparation by enrolling in a 12-week culinary program. i can only hope my attitude improves. i'm exhausted after years of "ick" to anything green - or *gasp* healthy - and my kids former preference for chicken nuggets and kraft dinner. as their tastes change (thank goodness!) it's time for me to remind myself how to enjoy the process and results of mindful cooking.

listening to the boys banter with each other. love it! things are so different around our home when the girls are away.

watching: survivor: blood vs water. i haven't watched the show in a while. thought it would be a fun thing to catch. so far, so good - fun concept this year, well, fun until it implodes.

reading the new "oprah" and "real simple" magazines i picked up on my visit to fortino's earlier today.

wearing a long gray sweater over black yoga pants and sneakers. i love comfy clothes!

packing up a "care package" to send out to claire at university. i've been collecting goodies all month. can't wait for her to open it up!

planning on installing pot lights througout the first floor. very exciting stuff :) we won't live in such dreary darkness this winter.

feeling energised. i know i'm on the right path. i'm taking it all in.

wanting the painter to finish up already so that i can have less disruption in my house. i'd like to put claire, cole and chloé's rooms back together!

needing to find someone to come with me to the sensory deprivation tank place in toronto! this is definitely something i want to try.

wishing i could be more content with the amount of stuff i do manage to accomplish than all the rest of the stuff left to do on my list. i'm too much of a project magpie!

waiting for chloé to return from temagami. she's only just left for a week up at the northern campus. in this case no news is good news, i'm sure she's having a grand time.

thinking the best phrase i've heard in a long time is one from my friend, robin: "like nailing jello to the wall". oh my goodness. those words so appropriately summed up last week and i greatly appreciated the laugh they provided.

enjoying having the kids rooms re-painted. lots of blues and grays - very soothing tones. all but caden's room because he chose "waterfall" by benjamin moore and it is still perfect for him.

paying close attention to the things that are happening around me. fascinating.

encouraging myself to escape my comfort zone and try new things. scary and fun. i'm trying to focus on the fun.

celebrating the big and the little things around me.

cultivating some wonderful new (and old) relationships. i am blessed to have my life populated by such warm, kind, open, honest, layered and smart people.

marveling at how much dust lands in my house in one day!

anticipating learning a whole slew of new and wonderful things in the very near future. time to start ticking off all those things on the list - one thing at a time. so much to look forward to!

and tada, a portrait of moi (for those who haven't seen it on facebook):

the current | twenty-nine

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:43pm on august 21, 2013
weather outside: hot, sticky and yuck.
mood inside: reflective. this has been a very full summer. learning from the many lessons provided.

drinking gasoline. not really, it's sauvignon blanc.

cooking many recipes out of the most recent fine cooking "cook fresh" magazine. delicious. and very healthy, too. happy to have found this publication. it really mixes things up around here.

listening to cole being teased and him not too happy about it!

watching duck dynasty. we are all seriously addicted. no one is more surprised (and delighted) than me.

reading the fault is in our stars by john green. better late than never.

wearing a new black sweater! not as wonderful and long as my last one, but certainly far more presentable.

packing in preparation for claire to head to university. exciting stuff!

planning on the many projects which will keep me busy in the next few months. some things will stay the same. some things need a bit of a shake up.

feeling a bit hesitant and somewhat exposed. my healing period is over and i just joined match.com. right now i'm just looking around. it's time to take this tentative step. until it's not :) (so yes, all of you who have offered up brothers, co-workers and friends, i'm now more open to the idea.)

wanting the thunderstorms in the forecast to arrive and take this oppressive hot weather away. i love me a big storm!

needing to get my act together and prepare for guests!

wishing i could just wiggle my nose (a la samantha in bewitched) and have everything all tidied up around here. amazing how disorder reigns some, er, most days.

waiting for the school year - officially my new year - to begin. only a few more days!

thinking chloé will be surprised in the morning when she sees her sister and little brother picking her up from camp!

enjoying visiting with my sister and her family, newly returned to canada after 20-years in the states.

paying the plumber, again. leak in the kitchen fixed. dripping toilet fixed. i'm afraid to know what will be next. water and i do not have a great relationship :(

encouraging the kids to choose fun and different sports for the next school year. this is the time in their lives to try everything they can!

celebrating the reward of hard work. the shift to living mindfully in the present. aware of the past, aware of the future, but realizing that showing up right now matters more than anything else.

cultivating friendships - old and new.

marveling at how hot wasabi is when it gets too close in my "chef sampler a". yowza!

anticipating a very full few weeks ahead!

and tada, a self portrait:

the current | twenty-eight

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:14pm on june 26, 2013
weather outside: the week started at 30C and 100% humidity. still here! ugh.
mood inside: mellow and reflective.

drinking water. on my fifth litre of the day.

eating a ton of protein. balanced with some carbs and fat.

cooking a lot of roasted veggies. especially broccoli and asparagus with lots of garlic. yum.

listening to the three kids who are home - excited that "big brother" started tonight - and dissecting the first episode. it was dvr'd for cole.

watching master chef. it's not pretty. their anxiety really affects me!

reading z, a novel of zelda fitzgerald. fascinating.

wearing t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

packing well, unpacking from a trip to bancroft, ontario and reviewing the packing list for chloé's trip to oelc camp.

planning for a visit with claire by bobby this weekend. tickets and trip to a concert with friends in niagara falls are planned!

feeling reflective, calm and content.

stopping any and all forms of self-sabotage. now.

wanting to get so many things in priority order so a plan can not just be made, but executed, properly. prepare for success, right?

needing to take some time and chill out, just a bit.

wishing only good things. for everyone. really. everyone.

waiting for the dryer to ding to let me know i can start folding. though, i'm seriously considering ignoring it ;)

thinking too much. my head is hurting :)

enjoying my new meditation and the now-empty, calm, space in my head.

paying close attention to things that are said, and how they are said. then trusting my response.

encouraging claire to enjoy her very last worry-free summer. no work. no obligations. just fun - now through august.

celebrating how far i've come in the last few months. this has been one hell of a learning curve.

cultivating new relationships with people i've known a long time. this is so much fun. leveling up our experience!

marveling at the abrupt change in weather. crazy. typical summer!

anticipating a wonderful, challenging, uplifting 10 weeks ahead!

and tada, my favourite photo this week:

the current | twenty-seven

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:42pm on may 22, 2013
weather outside: missing the warmth of earlier this week. but the thunderstorms are cool!
mood inside: reflective and happy.

drinking earl grey tea. definitely in the mood for something warm.

eating lots of lentils. i am obsessed. love them!

cooking on the barbeque. it's super quick to roast veggies and so easy - my favourite way to cook.

listening to chloé singing in her bedroom. it's directly above the living room and it has become a routine that she sings at the top of her lungs before going to bed.

watching nhl hockey playoffs. at the moment the penguins are winning 5-2 over ottawa.

reading inferno by dan brown. it was only $15 at chapters - i couldn't pass it up!

wearing jeans and a long sleeved top. flip flops and my favourite pantone scarf.

packing a "tickle" file to get my upcoming activitites organized.

planning a dwindling number of household projects: column removal, room painting, pot lights. so pleased to have so little left to accomplish!

feeling a bit sunburned.

stopping to take stock of all that i have accomplished in the last couple of years. i've realized i should be more than a little proud of myself.

wanting a little bit of quiet in this insanely busy time of year. but that's just not going to happen. everyone is "itchy" with the arrival of the warm weather.

needing to focus on my plans - including my attitude - for my future!

wishing walking 10,000 steps every day would become easier - or at least not as time consuming.

waiting for nothing. not any more :)

thinking about which "big" project to start first. which needs more research? which needs more thought? which just needs to get done!

enjoying my morning smoothies. i can make them faster than the coffee drips. that works perfectly for me.

paying and paying. emotionally and financially, but thinking it might just be, fingers crossed, almost over.

encouraging the kids to bear down and avoid any and all distractions these last few weeks of school. june 22 will be here soon enough!

celebrating my recent ventures into uncomfortable situations. i've met some wonderful people and enjoyed the rewards of leaving the house - and my comfort zone :)

cultivating boundaries. the kids are very clear on what they want and don't want. i am encouraging them to honour themselves and give voice to their boundaries, with respect and grace.

marveling at how bright my life is, right now, in this moment.

anticipating a lot of study supervision in the next couple of weeks!

and a picture of my day:

Today was wonderful. It was FULL. I took over a thousand photos! We had two rugby games (won), an away softball game (lost) and two soccer games (split, they lost the championship game) and a thunderstorm. Chloé has not played soccer since she was 4 years old. I'm so proud of her for trying new things! I've enjoyed attending the games and I appreciate the patience of the parents willing to explain to me the sport. It is still not my favourite, but it doesn't have to be to enjoy watching my girl! (Note: it is an awkward crop only because the look of the players with their faces blurred just looked awful so this was the next best choice.) This is exactly where I was today. Appleby Main Field. Appleby East Field. Go Blue!

the current | twenty-five

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 8:03pm on march 20, 2013
weather outside: winter isn't over yet BUT they say to expect sun on the weekend.
mood inside: sniffly, headachy and sick.

drinking green tea. not sure i like it, but it is nice to drink something hot when you're sick. i feel like i'm doing something good for myself.

eating chicken noodle soup and pasta. perfect.

cooking will have to wait until i feel like cooking. even at the best of times i'm not an enthusiastic cook, but this week has been all about the soup and rotisserie chicken.

listening to the sounds of "survivor" coming on the television.

watching my kids hanging out, all together, on the couch. i love that they get along. well, most of the time!

reading the icarus deception by seth godin as well as the power of why by amanda lang. well, i'll start reading again when i can find my reading glasses!

wearing yoga pants, t-shirt and sweater. yep, the long black one!

packing up some research material for in-the-truck reading

planning to watch the first two seasons of downton abbey. i ripped the plastic off the dvds i've had sitting by the television for months!

feeling like i'm finally getting things completed - in my head. i love holidays away but the catch up when we return can be brutal! at least the list is now complete. hopefully i'll be able to get to it by the weekend.

stopping my constant hope that my kids' father will contact them. nothing before they left to wish them well on the cruise. nothing upon our return to ask how they enjoyed it. so sad. for all of them.

wanting to continue in this amazing journey of vulnerability. life altering. thank you for the last three years, brené brown - and to my too-distant friend monica mcneill who started this whole ball rolling!

needing the warm weather to arrive - and stay. if not warm, at least some sunshine and blue skies!

wishing for some creative inspiration. not feeling it right now.

waiting patiently, and without input, for claire to decide which program, at what university, is her choice for the next four years.

thinking about what household project to tackle next. so many choices!

enjoying big brother canada. so very canadian - and not always in the best way :)

paying very close attention to my intuition. the universe is starting to come in loud and clear.

encouraging my kids to be confident and kind within themselves as well as with others. i figure if they master that, they'll do okay.

celebrating rather than cursing my need to research and learn new things. even new ways to consider old things.

cultivating silence. really enjoying the meditation practice i'm learning through the oprah & deepak meditation challenge. i started late as we were away, but these first few days have been the perfect way for me to learn something that has always facinated me.

marveling at all of the wonders in my world.

anticipating spring! birds singing. buds on trees. green grass. sunshine.

and i'll spare you the self portrait. here is my view for the last few days:

the current | twenty-four

dateline: Oakville, Ontario, Canada @ 8:57AM on February 22, 2013
weather outside: Gray. Windy. -1 with a promise of a storm in the air.
mood inside: reflective

drinking coffee, my (rare) second cup of the day.

eating breakfast, every morning!

cooking eggs in my new, smaller, skillet

listening to my iPhone vibrate with messages from my kids filling me in on their day: marks, stories, funny observations

watching CanadaAM with Josh Groban as guest co-host. Weird, but he is very smart and funny.

reading blogs via Google Reader. 114 posts waiting for me this morning!

wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt. It's a writing/planning morning so no need to be presentable until I have to leave the house later this afternoon.

packing up a box filled with books recently purged from the bookshelves in the living room. Must call the guy to come pick them up for the spring sale at Hopedale.

planning my time: blog posts, courses taking/want to take, summer activities. Always planning something!

feeling really tired - I'm sleeping, just not well

stopping more often to just listen - and hear

wanting the wind to stop. It has just made the cold colder and me less likely to walk outside!

needing Claire to come home to take the 23andMe DNA test that arrived on Monday. With her heading off to University in the summer, I want her to have a complete overview of her health and an awareness of any and all risk factors. My family is forthcoming with chronic illnesses of which there are (thankfully) few; her father's family is riddled with heart disease and cancer (though I don't know how much is DNA and how much is smoking-induced) and secretive about health issues.

wishing our local paper, The Oakville Beaver, would honour my FIFTH request to stop delivery. It is filled with ads and nothing of any interest to me.

waiting for Pottery Barn to call and let me know why I can't order from the store teh stock they have in the warehouse. Very frustrating!

thinking my bathroom will never be complete :(

enjoying the parts of the bathroom that are done :)

paying school tuition for next year. Weird sending only three of them!

encouraging university choices that are what Claire wants and not what she thinks others expect.

celebrating the knowledge that winter does not last forever and spring will arrive when it arrives - but sooner would be my preference.

cultivating more grown up relationships with all of my children.

marveling at how dangerous seemingly simple iPhone apps can become! Not only dangerous to the growing minds of children but to the bank accounts of their parents when combined with trust and ignorance.

anticipating a few positive changes made based on recent lessons learned.

and tada, another selfie:

Me, in my natural habitat: at my desk, writing!

the current | twenty-three

By the number twenty-three above, its clear I've been doing this meme for a while. It's morphed into a few things over those weeks, but I think I've figured out a formula that will work for me.

dateline Oakville, Ontario, Canada @ 9:37PM on January 23, 2012
weather outside Cold. Windy. -7C
mood inside: Pooped! Wednesdays finish later than usual.

drinking a glass of very cold Sauvignon Blanc

eating nothing, I don't often eat after 7PM - but I'd love a slice of pie :)

cooking a lot out of the new Barefoot Contessa cookbook - delicious!

listening to my kids exchanging stories from their day (Cole got a call today for an audition tomorrow, Chloé hung out with friends after school, Caden enjoyed his swim meet)

watching the last bit of Suburgatory, meh. Like most sit-coms, I enjoyed it more when I first stumbled upon it - flying back from AZ last year :)

reading the last of my unread Sarah Addison Allen books, The Sugar Queen. Frothy and magical, I hope another gets published soon!

wearing jeans, t-shirt and my ratty long black sweater - it will seriously have to fall off my body before I throw it out

planning our summer schedule, some social events and the big book purge

feeling optimistic about the choices we've all been making lately

stopping my habit of second guessing my initial instincts. It is made clear to me over-and-over that I should be more mindful. Okay, universe. I get it :)

wanting a cure for my monkey mind! Honestly, it's all over the place! I just want it to settle, if only for a little while

needing more hours in the day to accomplish everything on my lists

wishing people were more kind to themselves - and others

waiting for the dryer to finish the last load of the day

thinking hiring a life coach just may be a very good idea.

enjoying this week. We've finally gotten into a post-holiday groove. There is very little stress and everyone is focused on their studies and other commitments.

paying attention to me, close attention, more attention than I like but maybe not as much as I need. With the understanding and encouragement of all my kids, I'm taking this school term - the time between the first full week of the year though the Easter weekend to focus more on me and what I want (and what I don't want) in my life. It has been illuminating and I'm only in week two!

encouraging my kids to listen to themselves, too. And trust what they hear and more what they feel.

celebrating a full week of regular sleep! My new bed is absolutely fabulous. And the new sheets? Everyone should get bamboo sheets. Absolutely divine.

cultivating healthy relationships and healthy habits

marveling when my kids' friends come to me as a sounding board. Through break-ups, parent problems even difficulties with courses at school, I am thrilled to be chosen to listen and help when I can.

anticipating only good things ahead.

and tada, a selfie (aka, filling in time while waiting for kids):

Observation: yes, I have to bring 2 pairs of glasses everywhere! One pair in order to drive the truck and the other to read while waiting in the truck. And, no, a knit poncho was not appropriate outerwear for the day - it was windy and -12!

the current | twenty two

watching the master bath finally get finished. it's going to be gorgeous. though i've learned, one small leak can turn into one very big project!

packing boxes of books. now to find a place to donate or dispose - the logical places don't take books anymore!

paying a lot of attention to things i have to do for myself. and finally making time for it - all of it.

listening to questions, answers, opinions, demands and laughter. aka, my kids.

encouraging patience and calm as we enter exam season. no chance of an appendix relapse this year!

cooking lots of soft food to accomodate new braces. moving back to the land of "white" food: pasta, rice, potatoes - and jello.

stopping negative self talk. every mean syllable.

celebrating new opportunities: performances, sports and interests.

cultivating new habits that incorporate what i want to do, not what i should do.

waiting for winter break to start. we really need to have some non-scheduled time. i thrive on order but sometimes i feel overwhelmed with our routine and just need a break to recharge.

marveling at the joy and cooperation of my children while putting out holiday decorations on a blustery and cold saturday morning. then off in four different directions for the rest of the day. i have a feeling this is going to be the foundation of our new normal.

planning the big 2012 | 2012 birthday. it's going to be awesome!

anticipating only good things ahead. 

ing around here | october

watching the leaves slowly turn the vibrant colours of autumn. more each day.

packing light is the only way to travel. tougher as the weather turns cool.

paying for more home repairs. sigh. water really does not like me. at all.

listening to the new mumford and sons. love.

encouraging chloé as she plays basketball, she's a really good defensive player.

cooking chicken, a lot of chicken. and vegetables.

stopping football, this will be caden's last season. the risk just isn't worth it.

celebrating thanksgiving with family. happy.

cultivating a new relationship with my eldest. she's amazing.

waiting for things to end before they start again. need time to breathe.

marveling at the risilience of my children. wish it weren't necessary.

planning road trips with the kids. down east. down south. a bit west. 

anticipating only good things ahead. 

have you linked up with ali? since tuesday is, on my new schedule, dedicated to a project life post, and i don't actually have one (ugh) this will have to do! at least it will be a part of my project for this week, once i get to it!

the current | twenty

 

developing better communications with my kids, using the words "appropriate", "respect" and "trust" a lot.

accepting the unfortunate truth that teenage angst happens to all of them - mine are not exempt.

sending a ton of photos and projects off to persnickety prints.

lamenting the sad reality that those in-my-head plans for next year will have to be drastically altered.

returning to stratford. five plays in four days. bliss.

celebrating the wind-down of summer holidays and the wind-up of back to school. always a time of wistfulness, fear and challenge.

planning a whole new way of life starting in a couple of weeks. all four kids in the same school - but claire will be living there!

embracing my fitbit!

enjoying the last few days of cooler weather. it probably won't last, but it has been great relief.

keeping control of myself in the aisles of ikea. oh so hard to do!

remembering my promise to myself and the kids to cut back on commitments this fall and winter. no hockey will make that easy!

hoping all of my kids have a brilliant start to their school year.

dreaming of a day when there is nothing on the calendar. (and everything is done - laundry, meals, cleaning, errands).

waiting for the weight to be gone before any new clothes are purchased.

looking around at my still overstuffed house knowing exactly what it is i have to do.

admiring those who manage it all with style, grace and kindness.

searching for the perfect room rug for my living room. i know exactly what needs to be put in the space, i just have to find it!

editing my hobbies, the crazy amount of supplies have to go (part of the overstuffed). lots of big decisions to make.

taking a breather is definitely in order. sometime soon. i'd better mark it down on the calendar or i'll get none!

thanking my family. their support is uplifting and greatly appreciated.

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | nineteen

the big book return! already planning for september :)

developing a better appreciation for boy humour. rolling my eyes less and laughing more.

accepting some people are just mean by nature. wish they'd keep it to themselves.

sending good thoughts out to the universe, will they come back?

lamenting i cannot get my list completed, it just keeps growing!

returning to a place of frustration due to unanswered questions. simple questions with simple answers. parental unaccountability drives me bonkers.

celebrating the arrival of summer and all the adventures it brings. thankful to friends for new ideas.

planning a scrapbook for a teacher going on leave. now to do it! i have three days to complete it - eek.

embracing the reality that i need a new bill.

enjoying days spent at the ball diamond and at the gridiron.

keeping (relatively) calm about my kids and their budding relationships.

remembering to let the kids learn from their own mistakes and not inject my opinion or fear.

hoping for a fun summer ahead.

dreaming of a day - just one - when my house will be clean, top to bottom.

waiting for all four to be out of school. one more week!

looking toward the future with optimism and calm.

admiring those with the courage to pursue their dreams.

searching my heart for what it is, and who it is, i really need and want.

editing my computer files. finally.

taking a chance and applying for a job. two interviews complete. fingers crossed!

thanking my children. they make my world complete.

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | seventeen

developing a plan to get all of my creative endeavours completed.

accepting with humour the stories my kids tell that make me "mama".

sending good thoughts out to the universe, will they come back?

lamenting cole's newest concussion - no more rugby :(

returning to a most favourite location!

celebrating the arrival of spring, football, baseball and softball.

planning my entry container planters and their contents

embracing the reality that my kids are more "artsy" than "sciency"

enjoying how generous my kids are with their enthusiasm and time

keeping calm(er) when claire is driving the truck. okay, trying.

remembering to let the kids learn from their own mistakes (not just my words)

hoping my kids treat my sister*, and her family, well next week!

dreaming of a day - just one - without constant interruption.

waiting for freedom to arrive - one more month. counting the days.

looking at walls that need art hung on them.

admiring those with the courage to pursue their dreams.

searching the recesses of my mind for an idea, a plot, a climax.

editing my dresser and closet. it feels good to purge.

taking advantage of my kids' new found love of theatre!

thanking my sister** for her persistence

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

* sister #4 of 5
** sister #3 of 5

the current | sixteen

colour = happy

developing a new belief that some kids are just plain bad.

accepting some things take time - more time than i'd like!

sending in many registration forms: football, rugby, baseball, theatre, oh my!

lamenting the reality that evil is born - and nurtured, by neglect.

returning anxiously to a non-hockey schedule. hallelujah!

celebrating the delivery of new appliances - and sunshine.

planning our summer calendar and beyond.

embracing new creative abundance - and trying to keep up with it all!

enjoying the joy expressed by my children when they discover new things.

keeping a lid on my emotions and trying to deal calmly. rationally.

remembering to err on the side of kindness.

hoping to start a new fitness regimen this week.

dreaming of a clean and organized house.

waiting for matters to be handled. once and for all.

looking for light at the end of this particular tunnel.

admiring the grace and poise of the children around me.

searching for peace and calm.

editing photos, many photos. so many good memories!

taking stock and making decisions.

thanking mother nature for sending along an early spring.

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | fifteen

view every day. multiple times every day.

developing plans for the kids over summer holidays.

accepting the gifts of kindness from others.

sending my traveling smash along to the next stop!

lamenting those in positions of power who should not be there - at all.

returning to old eating habits. this must stop.

celebrating the knowledge i can do this!

planning an upcoming huge purchase. scary - amazing - stuff!

embracing this weird (and wonderful) warm winter.

enjoying having something to do. every day.

keeping everything moving along as smoothly as possible.

remembering to say "yes" more than "no".

hoping for a better (less chaotic) routine in the spring.

dreaming of a clean and organized house.

waiting for something to happen. sigh.

looking at my children in wonder. and a smile.

admiring those (many) who do what i cannot.

searching for understanding of adult bullies. so far i can't.

editing ideas, realizing i can't do all i want to do. gasp!

taking charge of a scary situation.

thanking those whose shoulders have been broad enough.

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | fourteen

developing an appreciation for quirky humour.

accepting the things i cannot change.

sending another load of clothes to the charity bin.

lamenting the time wasted trying to change things.

returning to canyon ranch this spring. happy me!

celebrating that i've stuck with project life for three weeks, so far.

planning how i can best organize the inside of cupboards and closets.

embracing that things are happening, just not quick enough.

enjoying becoming more involved and engaged. daily.

keeping my eye on the prize: healthy and happy kids.

remembering to bring my camera everywhere.

hoping for more hours in the day.

dreaming of everything being done. if only for an hour or two!

waiting for nothing, anymore.

looking at many cookbooks and making a plan.

admiring the patience of those around me.

searching for tutors: math and chemistry.

editing blog articles. a ton of stuff rattling around my head.

taking my time to listen. and observe.

thanking those who’s kindness and generosity make my life possible.

the current | thirteen

developing a plan for our next step, or steps.

accepting tears are now allowed. many have flowed.

sending positive thoughts out into the universe.

lamenting that i didn't say "thank you" adequately. now i can't.

returning to the comfort of my own skin, slowly. good to be back, almost.

celebrating the promise of new projects! with cz, more cz, and ae.

planning 12 hours in the car, with no fighting. fingers crossed! sigh.

embracing the idea of changing up our holiday traditions.

enjoying downtime with my four fabulous kids.

keeping up with all the demands of that downtime.

remembering to record the stories that make up our lives.

hoping for safe travels. for everyone.

dreaming of a clean and organized home.

waiting to start this new project with inspiration from these women.

looking at the calendar and fitting things in.

admiring the poise and grace of my children.

searching for new distractions.

editing my wardrobe. my bookshelves. my cupboards.

taking absolutely nothing for granted.

thanking the universe for it's many gifts and challenges.

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | twelve

developing an appreciation for herbal tea. cranberry is preferred.

accepting the simple fact i cannot do it all by myself all the time. sigh.

sending thank you notes. so many have been helpful lately.

lamenting that there are not more than 24 hours in each day. life is full.

returning positive energy and good thoughts to those who send them.

celebrating all of my new experiences and opportunities. well, most.

planning our holidays - the when and where of it all.

embracing unseasonably high temperatures. love being on the plus side!

enjoying the independent spirit of each of my children. though exhausting.

keeping hope in my heart. sense in my head.

remembering to count to 10. often.

hoping for a full night sleep. soon.

dreaming of a maxwell sectional from restoration hardware

waiting for nothing. onward.

looking at daily inspiration.

admiring the courage of my kids - all on stage!

searching through many, many photos for the best selections.

editing my choices. my words.

taking deep breaths. in. out. slowly.

thanking so many for so much kindness and encouragement.

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | eleven

The ivy on the Appleby College Chapel
photo taken 20 October 2011

listening to a lot of "adult rock alternative" on galaxy
developing a new set of marketable skills
eating too many peanut m&m's
drinking many cups of green tea ... and cranberry tea, too
accepting you cannot force people to be accountable
sending positivity into the universe
wearing smaller clothing, shrinking slowly, one size at a time
lamenting the negativity of others that directly impacts my kids
feeling like my wheels are spinning
returning the kindness of others
wanting a leather sectional from restoration hardware, sigh
celebrating the change of seasons
needing some sleep, no, a lot of sleep
planning our new approach to the holidays
thinking maybe we need to slow down
embracing the challenge of raising teenagers
enjoying my kids enjoying their activities
wondering what the universe has planned next
creating happy and healthy days
pondering my next projects
loving our new life
anticipating nothing stays the same, for long

idea discovered on this blog.

where is your current taking you?

the current | ten

listening to my kids squabble more than usual
eating sporadically while looking for a new routine
drinking not enough water and too much wine
wearing comfy clothes - as usual!
feeling frustrated with the choices of others
wanting to kick him in the head
needing a break, just a couple of days
thinking patience is something I lack
enjoying lunch and kindness of girlfriends
wondering what life will look like in a year
creating order out of chaos, slowly
procrastinating packing the old house
pondering my choices, so much opportunity
loving how so many are so kind to my children
anticipating our Thanksgiving visit to the motherland

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

where is your current taking you?

the current | nine

listening to the silence
eating healthy foods, well mostly
drinking perrier
wearing paint covered clothing
feeling overwhelmed but optimistic
wanting our house to sell!
needing routine, some ordinary days
thinking i am content to handle one day at a time
enjoying progress in the new house
wondering what i was waiting for
creating a brand new life
procrastinating is not part of my world
pondering my next project
loving my new outlook
anticipating good things ahead

idea discovered on this blog.

where is your current taking you?

the current | eight

listening and singing along
eating lots of seafood lately
drinking pink lemonade
wearing bright summer colours
feeling lighter
wanting more lazy - but cooler - days
needing a distraction
thinking and over-thinking
enjoying heavy and salty ocean breezes 
wondering what's next
creating a better everything
procrastinating is no longer an option
pondering a plot and a few interesting characters
loving that my life is exactly what i make it
anticipating challenges ahead

idea discovered on this blog and i post mine the third thursday of the month.

where is your current taking you?

the current | seven

listening to ted talks
eating too little - falling back into bad habits
drinking too much wine - too often
wearing clothes that are getting baggier by the day
feeling a bit intimidated
wanting more and less, it's confusing
needing a hug
thinking much positive self-talk
enjoying joy-filled laughter
wondering how it'll all get done
creating a life worth living
procrastinating no more, no time!
pondering paint colours
loving my children with my whole heart, always
anticipating much, so much more

idea discovered on this blog. i write my current the last thursday of each month.

where is your current taking you?

the current | six

listening to my head this time
eating well, but still not right
drinking plenty of water, but still not enough
wearing sneakers, now to put them to use
feeling wrung out and headachy
wanting to fast-forward a year
needing a sense of security
thinking of a fine line which will not be crossed again
enjoying the enthusiasm of my kids
wondering at my consistent gullibility, stupid
creating peace in my future
procrastinating is so disrespectful
pondering the next steps
loving my kids, with my wholeheart, always
anticipating the kindness that awaits

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | five

listening intently
eating mindfully
drinking water
wearing sneakers
feeling full
wanting little
needing much
thinking always
enjoying everything
wondering why
creating plans
procrastinating no more
pondering much
loving all
anticipating success

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?

the current | four

listening to adele on my ipod. sigh. so good.
eating lunch with my friend char, later today. yay!
drinking a lot of water, now adding some lemon.
wearing sneakers.
feeling energised.
wanting new kitchen dishes.
needing to stay focused.
thinking about what to pack for az.
enjoying this quiet time between the end of hockey season and tryouts.
wondering if my house will ever be 100% clean. top to bottom.
creating the bones for a few upcoming projects. exciting!
procrastinating over teaching claire how to drive. eek!
pondering my next big project.
loving the new creative things i've learned recently.
anticipating a calm couple of weeks coming up.

idea discovered on this blog. where is your current taking you?