I will be keeping this post here at the top for easy reference through December.
If there is nothing new posted below, click the links to go to the Reverb 13 Remix blog:
PART ONE | REFLECT
1. ONE EVENT. | 2. QUESTIONS. | 3. PERSPECTIVE. | 4. CONNECTION.
5. VULNERABILITY. | 6. WELL-BEING.
7. 13 IN 2013. | 8. READING. | 9. YEAR IN REVIEW. | 10. ONE WORD | 2013.
PART TWO | MANIFEST
1. ONE WORD | 2014 | 2. EASE. | 3. GIVING. | 4. ORDINARY SPARKLING MOMENTS.
5. CREATIVITY. | 6. RITUALS.
7. DREAM. | 8. VOCABULARY. | 9. NO | YES. | 10. CONSCIOUS ENTRY.
Do you want to participate in your own #reverb13 project? Be sure to go to Carolyn Rubenstein's blog and download her REMIX workbook!
Here's to reflecting on 2013 and looking forward to 2014 and beyond.
What about you? Reflect? Manifest? Share!
CREDITS | Prompts: Carolyn Rubenstein | Digital Template: Ali Edwards | Article Template: Cathy Zielske | Digital Papers: Katie Pertiet | Digital Embellishments: Karla Dudley | Fonts: Helvetica, Aire Bold Pro, Bebas Neue | Content, Stories & Opinions: All mine :)
mindful | word elimination
Words are powerful things.
I am becoming more mindful of how my words effect me and those around me. Surrounded each day by four teenagers, I often have to pause and take my time to construct, carefully, exactly what I say. I love words. All words. Or so I thought.
Over the past few months, I have realized there are a handful of words that bring with them unkind, negative or judgmental connotations. With their simple elimination have added vastly to constructive conversation in my home.
Those words include:
WHATEVER is so passive-aggressive it makes my teeth grit and brain explode - simultaneously! The word combined with the inevitable shrug or stomp or turn in the other direction is a teenage (or immature adult) tactic that had to stop around here.
CAN'T is the one word that makes me sad. The whole idea that my kids think they can't do something makes my heart sick. I have told my kids for years the Henry Ford quote, "if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." Nothing frustrates me more than my children having an immediate response to an idea or project with "I can't". They are so capable, it annoys me when they limit themselves. If there is one word banned from my home it is this one.
SHOULD implies that something needs to be fixed and there is some level of judgment involved on behalf of the speaker (authority) to someone who is deficient in some way. Nothing like putting your audience on the defensive by evoking feelings of guilt and shame!
JUST is not a word I like to use - it is so limiting. Sometimes I use it depending on my audience, though I find it negative. Ever since I heard it in terms of "I'm just a mom" the word has rankled me.
ACTUALLY might be annoying more in the tone used when the word is said than the word itself. When a sentence starts with "actually" I know the words that follow with will be tinged with condescension.
BUT because (usually) every word after it is the truth. I find that the use of "but" is a way of saying uncomfortable or mean things with a disclaimer. Speak plainly with your intent and you never have to use "but" ever again.
ALWAYS absolutes are trouble - as is the opposite NEVER. I ask that we try to speak in a basis of truth and not exaggeration, which both words represent. Tough with this crowd when adolescence is all about extremes!
Words that need to be spoken only after a mindful pause are YES and NO. Once you have fully considered the implications of the words then say them.
I do my best to encourage my children by setting an example*. Each time I hear a "whatever", "can't", "should", "just", "actually", "but", "always" and "never" out of my mouth, I bite my tongue and then apologise. Behaviour modification at it's finest! I figure, if I expect my kids to behave one way I'd better hold myself to the same standard!
I have been toying with the idea of a Swear Jar to hold monetary penalties for the use of each word. Ironically, I have no problem with the use of the F-bomb or S-word, if used in proper context.
* Often this method is too subtle for my teenaged lot, but at least it strengthens my argument should it come to it.
Posted on 11 June 2014 at 06:15 PM in celebrating the every day, embracing imperfection, parenting, real right now, social commentary, words | Permalink | Comments (0)
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