family favourite: lemon garlic chicken, mama rice and roasted broccoli
I love lists. I love order. I love schedules. I love my calendar.
I dwell in structure.
As far as that nasty seven letter word - control - I've pretty much given that nonsense over to the universe, but there are some things that are still within my domain. What? That would be my daily schedule.
As much as things change, some things stay the same. This summer was pretty spontaneous with the kids very much in charge. I went to a talk during our last school year where the speaker emphasized the acceptance of painful non-catastrophic mistakes made by our children. Well, I made room for plenty over the last few months! I have to say, my kids were (and still are) pretty remarkable. We learned a lot from each other. Lots of growth, understanding, acceptance and love. An enjoyable feat given that there is just me and four children between the ages of 13 and 17!
But, as always, I digress ...
Moving forward, I'm embracing the idea that I can only organize my days in a loose enough way to allow for change. I suppose my life has evolved to include "guidelines" as opposed to rigid plans. We're off to a late start this year as the school trip to the Northern Campus started the first week of the school year. Now that all of my kids are back and we can settle into the school year, this autumn brings with it a Morning Routine, an Evening Routine and (for me) a Write & Create Routine.
I ask a lot of my routine. It has to take into consideration four things:
- I run a household as sole provider;
- I have been unwell and need to get healthier;
- I need to respect and nourish my creative side; and,
- I must figure out how to develop a full - and fulfilling - future for myself.
The yin and yang of it all - tight schedules leaving enough time for self. Tough.
My days start at 6:00AM and end at 10:00PM.
MORNING ROUTINE
06:00 Alarm set to go off & Coffee maker programmed to start
Brush Teeth & Wash Up
Put on walking clothes & lace up sneakers
Make smoothie, take meds & supplements
06:30 Write morning pages
07:30 Take kids to school and go for walk
10:00 MON: Errands, Appointments, Bills, Calls & Correspondence
TUES - FRI: Write & Create
EVENING ROUTINE
10:00 Shut down everything: computer, television, lights
Fill dishwasher and empty sink (if not already done)
Head upstairs and wash up
Set alarm & fitbit
Settle in by 10:30
within all of that is my
CREATIVE ROUTINE
MONDAY: Morning Pages, Life Coach Session, The Next Chapter & The Desire Map
TUESDAY: Morning Pages, Writing
WEDNESDAY: Morning Pages, Creative Pursuits
THURSDAY: Morning Pages, Writing
FRIDAY: Morning Pages, Artist's Date, Blurb Project, Photography
SATURDAY: Morning Pages, Read & Research, Project Life
SUNDAY: Morning Pages, Read & Research
Though everything has been simplified it has not been reduced. There is a ton of content and I'm excited to start all of the creative challenges.
DINNER ROUTINE
Ah, the bane of my existence: "what do you want for dinner?" is being answered with a very simple:
MONDAY: Crock Pot
TUESDAY: Chicken
WEDNESDAY: Pasta or Pizza
THURSDAY: New (a chance to experiment!)
FRIDAY: Fish or Seafood
SATURDAY: Take Out or Go Out
SUNDAY: Beef
I am very fortunate that my kids are provided a good hot meal for lunch at school, but I want to make sure they eat well while at home, too. There are a few favourites and within their schedule I'll make sure they get them as often as we can manage.
And with that, order is restored!
Until it's not ...
Guidelines ... guidelines.
mindful | word elimination
Words are powerful things.
I am becoming more mindful of how my words effect me and those around me. Surrounded each day by four teenagers, I often have to pause and take my time to construct, carefully, exactly what I say. I love words. All words. Or so I thought.
Over the past few months, I have realized there are a handful of words that bring with them unkind, negative or judgmental connotations. With their simple elimination have added vastly to constructive conversation in my home.
Those words include:
WHATEVER is so passive-aggressive it makes my teeth grit and brain explode - simultaneously! The word combined with the inevitable shrug or stomp or turn in the other direction is a teenage (or immature adult) tactic that had to stop around here.
CAN'T is the one word that makes me sad. The whole idea that my kids think they can't do something makes my heart sick. I have told my kids for years the Henry Ford quote, "if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." Nothing frustrates me more than my children having an immediate response to an idea or project with "I can't". They are so capable, it annoys me when they limit themselves. If there is one word banned from my home it is this one.
SHOULD implies that something needs to be fixed and there is some level of judgment involved on behalf of the speaker (authority) to someone who is deficient in some way. Nothing like putting your audience on the defensive by evoking feelings of guilt and shame!
JUST is not a word I like to use - it is so limiting. Sometimes I use it depending on my audience, though I find it negative. Ever since I heard it in terms of "I'm just a mom" the word has rankled me.
ACTUALLY might be annoying more in the tone used when the word is said than the word itself. When a sentence starts with "actually" I know the words that follow with will be tinged with condescension.
BUT because (usually) every word after it is the truth. I find that the use of "but" is a way of saying uncomfortable or mean things with a disclaimer. Speak plainly with your intent and you never have to use "but" ever again.
ALWAYS absolutes are trouble - as is the opposite NEVER. I ask that we try to speak in a basis of truth and not exaggeration, which both words represent. Tough with this crowd when adolescence is all about extremes!
Words that need to be spoken only after a mindful pause are YES and NO. Once you have fully considered the implications of the words then say them.
I do my best to encourage my children by setting an example*. Each time I hear a "whatever", "can't", "should", "just", "actually", "but", "always" and "never" out of my mouth, I bite my tongue and then apologise. Behaviour modification at it's finest! I figure, if I expect my kids to behave one way I'd better hold myself to the same standard!
I have been toying with the idea of a Swear Jar to hold monetary penalties for the use of each word. Ironically, I have no problem with the use of the F-bomb or S-word, if used in proper context.
* Often this method is too subtle for my teenaged lot, but at least it strengthens my argument should it come to it.
Posted on 11 June 2014 at 06:15 PM in celebrating the every day, embracing imperfection, parenting, real right now, social commentary, words | Permalink | Comments (0)
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