Embrace Life

list | 11 of 52

52 LISTS | Week Eleven | LIST YOUR ESSENTIALS

• Water | to drink or to live by, it is essential to my every day.
• My children | even bad days are good because they’re with me.
• Take meds | be smart and don’t forget to take them!
• Order | to be able to indulge in fun and spontaneous opportunities, my home has to reflect order so I never descend into chaos again.
• Change | without it my life would be static and that would be awful.
• Learning | I am a voracious learner and spend a lot of time gathering up bits and pieces of things that interest me – from people I know and those found online. I have no idea what I’ll do with the bits and pieces, but they keep me busy.
• Finish the list | the monkey mind is going at 100% all the time. Remember to check the list.
• Excellence | is something I strive for and encourage my kids to endeavor to achieve, every day. Without that goal, what’s the point?
• Authenticity | and owning everything I say and do is essential to my character and keeps me grounded and focused.
• Sleep | without 7.5 hours I’m really cranky, must sleep by 10PM!
• Fail | and learn to accept failure for what it is immediately – simple mistakes to learn from. It really is the only path to Excellence.
• Make good food choices | even though some of them are frustrating now that I can’t eat seafood and other “good for you” foods :(
• Move more | time to stop, regroup, start again. Walk. Swim. Climb. Then do it again. And again. (See: FAIL above)
• Open | stay open to all of it. The good. The bad. Remember, it’s all in the interpretation. Really? The bad is just an opportunity to try something new or different.
• Patience | count to 10. And, if that doesn’t work, try 100.
• Empathize | flip it upside down and consider another perspective.
• Be kind | and if I can’t be kind, be silent.
• Take/buy only what I need | and no more. Forget collecting. Forget organizing. Keep possessions only to what I need and love.

CHALLENGE: I will honour one of my essentials by ...

Putting my house back in order, now that the break is over, so I can spend time doing fun stuff!

* * * * *

Do you want to join in? Head over to Moorea Seal and check out the 52 Lists.

list | 10 of 52

52 LISTS | Week Ten | LIST THE WAYS YOU CAN CLEANSE FOR SPRING

• Change furnace filter
• Purge furnace room
• Clean out basement entry and front entry closets
• Walk – every day
• Swim – at least 3x each week
• Drink more water and/or green tea every day
• Reconcile all documents and prep for upcoming (divorce) case conference – such a long process!
• Purge closet and dresser drawers
• Unsubscribe from all emails that are of no further interest
• Find a replacement for Google Reader!
• Update "Control Journal" with new and upcoming activities
• Dedicate time, every day, to be still – and quiet
• Take another photo walk; plan another, and then another
• Journal, for me, every day
• Turn the television off at 10PM
• Read before bed
• Stick to consuming minimal refined sugar (still stuck with my single teaspoon of “raw” sugar in my coffee each morning)
• Map out plantings and use of outdoor space for this summer
• Choose colours for rooms in need of freshening
• Map out and hang all photos & paintings
• Sort and purge all “creative” tools and supplies. Keep only the things that will bring me joy and fulfillment moving forward.
• Go through all of the “great articles” discovered while doing the ONE little WORD vision board and read – file if worthwhile, toss if not
• The linen closet is a disaster, decide what to keep and donate the rest. Put all linens together by bed-set and wrap in pillow case
• Have kids go through all books and purge for school sale
• Have kids go through all closets and purge clothes for donation or hand-me-down to the next in line :)
• Go through first aid and medicine cupboard and update

CHALLENGE: This week I will Spring clean by ...

• going through all of the financial and household files, currently in a pile, and put them in proper folders for easy locating!

anticipation | spring

Taken May 2012

I don't know about you, but I found this winter to be long. Maybe it was the endless months of snow, or the constant wind, ice and grey skies - not a normal happening here in the bubble. Even with two tropical trips - another outside-our-normal happening - the months seemed to slog on in the dark and cold. In spite of it all, a lot got done and many lessons were learned!

With the arrival of spring, we are looking forward to:

• Blue skies and sunshine.
• Baseball games and practices. Softball games and practices.  I'm sure both leagues will be getting in touch with us soon. I'm anxious to get the schedules plugged into the calendar and address all of the conflicts. Then I'll pack up the cooler and folding chair and put them in their permanent position in the truck.
• Concert excitement. Claire and Cole both enjoy going to see bands as they stop in Toronto and other local areas. Though the events are in the summer, the tickets will be purchased though spring and the anticipation will be a joy to experience with them.
• A finished master bath. I am so disappointed in Pottery Barn. Renovation Hardware will, again, come to my rescue!
• My two Gemini babies turn 14 and 13 - and my home will be, officially, filled with teenagers! Give me strength :)
• Embracing silence. The practice of meditation is being tried for the first time, after years of curiosity. I know for sure if it is not continued, the practice of silence will be. And maybe that will be enough.
• After MUCH begging, pleading, negotiation and hesitation, my boys will be playing rugby for their school teams through May. I love rugby as a sport, though I don't know how anxious I am to send them back onto the pitch. Sigh.
• I love living in a home full of music. Chloé got the part of Genie in Aladdin and I can't wait to see her perform in the Middle School Play! She's gonna kill it :)
• Many container plants filled with succulents for on the back deck. I just have to be patient enough to wait until after the May long weekend to plant them!
• Many hanging plants filled with trailing ivy and flowers for on the back deck. I have to be patient with this too.
• More container plants for the front of the house. This year I'll be planting my own. NOT impressed with the expense or poor performance of the plantings last spring done by "the professional".
• A new entry mat and I'd love to get a big brass door knocker for the front door.
• A fresh coat of paint on everything that needs a fresh coat - bathrooms, bedrooms, hallways, doorways. This may be a big job!
• Cole is back to NYC with the Appleby Cantus Choir. They're performing at Carnegie Hall! And then he's back again with Grampy since his earlier trip was cancelled. The weather should be way better in April!
• A final decision regarding Claire's university selection. I've already offered my opinion and will now maintain my silence and let her do the choosing. After all, it's her future and time for her to take charge.
• Purge! The annual Spring Clean has started. What is on your list?
• Fire up the BBQ!
• Our annual Mother's Day brunch with my family in Toronto. I love these "command performance" events. Watching all of the kids - mine along with those of my four sisters - grow up into amazing young adults.
• Stepping completely out of my comfort zone and meeting another group of parents at upcoming games.
• Cole is performing in the Peel Music Festival. His songs include "C'est Moi!" from Camelot, "Love Who You Love" from A Man of No Importance and "All That's Known" from Spring Awakening.
• Lunches on the patio at Jonathan's. Every time I go, I miss my friend Bill. I toast to him every visit.
• Maybe another driver? Claire has completed the course but has yet to take the driving test. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that the family vehicle is a Suburban. Maybe she can borrow her uncle's Jetta? We'll see!
• A big bright umbrella for our patio table. Tomato Red? Bright Orange? Lime Green? Cyan Blue? Turqoise or Teal?
• Back to Canyon Ranch in Tucson with my sister! I'll be taking bunch of medical tests to get to the bottom of some unsolved questions and move every day on my favourite under-water treadmill. Oh, and get back to better eating and portion control reminders!
• Journal Your Life with Susannah Conway should give me some inspiration to start journaling for me again. I'm also looking forward to seeing what Cathy Zielske has in store in her Clean & Simple Workshop. 
• Continuing with theme of pushing my comfort zone and embracing vulnerability, I've purchased a ticket for the school Spring Fling with plans to attend. Alone. Not that I won't know anyone, I just don't normally do this kind of thing.
• Final exams! It's time to bear down and end the school year with the best marks ever!
• Graduation for my girl, Claire. Big plans for the big day. I am so excited for her! I keep thinking of all the time she has to learn: to make mistakes, correct her course, learn some more. It's been great so far, and only gets better from here.

There is so much going on and so much to look forward to with days getting longer and warmer. It will be hard to stay focused on finishing up the school year, but we're all determined to get the best marks possible - it's a team effort!

list | 9 of 52

52 LISTS | Week Nine | LIST THE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO

• Take a traditional cooking course from knife skills to making stock to full-on big gourmet meals
• Fly to Bora Bora and stay in an ocean bungalow
• Take pottery classes and experiment with making the art that lives in my head
• To a massage therapist - regularly
• To Newfoundland to watch icebergs float by and eat fresh seafood
• To my retail space, filled with my art and my writing and my energy
• Cruise through southern Europe and northern Africa with stops in Portugal, France, Spain, Italy, Morocco, Gibraltar, Turkey, Israel, Egypt, Malta, Croatia and Greece – any or all :)
• Take a photo safari to South Africa
• Take the kids to Scotland to visit castles and golf courses and fields of purple and yellow
• Walk through the Distillery District with my camera, and to Queen’s Quay, the Beaches and Union Station in Toronto
• Back to the desert with my sister
• To Jonathan’s patio for lunch and people watching all summer long
• For a walk around the Appleby campus, regularly
• To a publishing house, completed manuscript in hand
• Through the car wash at least once a week, love a clean truck!
• Swimming at the Oakville Club and on to the tennis courts
• Back to the Cloister’s, this time with the kids, back to the Greenbriar, too
• To listen to Brené Brown and Malcolm Gladwell and Seth Godin and Pema Chodron and Dalai Lama and Sir Ken Robinson and Daniel Pink and Tony Robbins and Oprah and Ken Follett and Dan Gilbert and Susan Cain and Whoopie speak, live.
• Off to a creative retreat, like Squam, to learn from others
• Back to Cape Cod, every summer, forever

 CHALLENGE: This week I will go ...

• On a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean with my kids, on the Oasis of the Seas, with stops in the Bahamas, St. Thomas and St. Maarten. (And, I did!)

list | 8 of 52

52 LISTS | Week Eight | LIST YOUR FAVOURITE ALBUMS

• EAGLES | Hotel California & every Greatest Hits album
• IMOGEN HEAP | Speak for Yourself & Ellipse
• QUEEN | News of the World & Night at the Opera
• NEIL DIAMOND | Jonathan Livingston Seagull & all others :)
• ABBA | ABBA & The Album
• FLEETWOOD MAC | Rumours & Tango in the Night
• MICHAEL JACKSON | Bad, Thriller & Off the Wall
• MAROON 5 | Songs About Jane & It Won’t Be Soon Before Long
• GENESIS | And Then There Were Three, Abacab & Duke
• MADONNA | Madonna & Like a Prayer
• MUMFORD & SONS | Saturday Sessions, Sigh No More & Babel
• PETER GABRIEL | So & Peter Gabriel
• CAT STEVENS | Tea for the Tillerman & Greatest Hits
• KT TUNSTALL | Eye to the Telescope & Drastic Fantastic
• SUPERTRAMP | Crime of the Century & Breakfast in America
• NATASHA BEDINGFILD | Unwritten & Pocket Full of Sunshine
• TRAIN | Train & Drops of Jupiter
• BLUE OCTOBER | Foiled & Approaching Normal
• KILLERS | Hot Fuss, Bones & Battle Born
• KINGS OF LEON | Only by the Night & Come Around Sundown
• COLDPLAY | A Rush of Blood to the Head, Viva la Vida & Mylo Xyloto
• CORINNE BAILEY RAE | Corinne Bailey Rae
• DIDO | Life for Rent & No Angel
• SANTANA | Supernatural, Shaman, All That I Am
• CAROL KING | Tapestry
• STABILO | Happiness & Disaster
• NEIL YOUNG | Harvest
• PRINCE | Purple Rain, 1999 & Around the World in a Day
• BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN | Born to Run & Born in the U.S.A.
• CARLY SIMON | Coming Around Again & Greatest Hits
• JAMES TAYLOR | Sweet Baby James, James Taylor, October Road, JT
• U2 | The Joshua Tree, Beautiful Game, Achtung Baby & War
• CRANBERRIES | Linger & Everybody Else is Doing It

You can link up here at Moorea Seal.

hello monday | 61

what a difference a year makes. orchids (above) photographed in las vegas :)

hello march break. sleep. walk. eat. read. sleep.

hello canon 40d. ah, my old friend. time to dust you off and use this week!

hello thirteen reasons why. break reading for chloé. no doubt this will create many conversations over the next couple of weeks.

hello outdoor sectional. now to find you someplace for a reasonable price.

hello grimm. happy to have you back!

hello big clean. time to tackle the difficult jobs: bookshelves and ceiling fans.

hello warmer temperatures. it's such a long time between now and sustained warmth! we'll survive as long as there is sunshine :)

hello swimming. every day of break. maybe caden will join me?

hello journal. lots rattling around in my head. time to write it all down. 

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week.
i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

- See more at: http://thelinarstudio.typepad.com/embracelife/2013/02/hello-monday-59.html#sthash.B8Q5eImX.dpuf

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments. - See more at: http://thelinarstudio.typepad.com/embracelife/2013/02/hello-monday-59.html#sthash.x66AlrJk.dpuf

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week.
i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

list | 7 of 52

I had joined up with 52 Lists at Moorea Seal a couple of weeks ago and continue to write the lists, though have forgotten to post here on the blog once I started :) Mind you, my last Tuesday post was all about lists anyway - just not these prompt lists!

52 LISTS | Week Seven | LIST THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL HEALTHY Mind, Body & Soul

• Cold, filtered water with lemon slices
• My fitbit – and the captured stats on my computer
• Music that makes me want to move
• Walking around the campus of Appleby College – up through the forest, along the lake, over the field – gorgeous, full of change of scenery and change of pace
• Cool and sunny days with a hint of a breeze
• My new tennis racquet
• Bowls of fresh fruit – raspberries are my favourite
• The initial sensation of my head plunging underwater for my first length of the pool
• Taking my thyroid medication every morning
• Every time I visit my naturopath – and get my B12 shot
• Shopping the perimeter of the grocery store
• Open and happily learning new things
• Embracing my newfound ability to be calm and thoughtful in times of high stress and imbalance
• Taking deep breaths – I am finally learning to exhale
• Keeping my lists manageable – celebrating the “ta-da’s” more than the “to-do’s”
• Each month that passes that I do not have a cigarette – I’m up to month 154
• Joining the tennis “ladder” at my kids’ school
• Getting out of the house and meeting new people – and even better, getting out of the house to spend time with my established friends
• Purging clutter
• Hugs
• Trips to places with sunshine to show my kids
• Knowing my limits
• Sore, aching muscles at the end of a workout: tennis, strenuous walk, or bike ride
• Reservations made & trip to Canyon Ranch in Tucson, AZ!

What about you? What do you do to make you feel healthy?

real right now | time management

I am a fan of lists. 

I am a fan of calendars.

I am a fan of clocks.

I manage every minute of my time, with varying degrees of success, and celebrate order wherever it can be found. When it comes to time management, there are a few lessons I've learned:

1. Late is rude
2. Do it now
3. Purposeful preparation saves time
4. Be flexible and open to change
5. Do not compare
6. Outsource when you can - in my case that includes the cleaning ladies who come once a week, and the chores completed by my kids

If history serves, I'm about to hit a big "change" period with the end of the school year closing in far more quickly than I'd like. Once the good weather finally arrives in a few weeks time, I'll be happy to kick routine to the curb, but I really have to bear down and focus. This is the time to re-evaluate how to more effectively spend my kids-in-school free-time before summer arrives and all routine and structure disappear and chaos takes its annual reign!

I am also in the midst of a number of Life Coach-inspired projects and courses; I am trying to structure my days to find time to dedicate to planning my future and not simply survive my present. Now is the time to be more purposeful with that goal in mind.

I do not believe in "doing it all" and I certainly do not believe in "organize it all".

I do believe in "do what you can" and "everything in it's place" - and if there is no place, there are options: garbage, recycling and donation. This simple shift in mindset has really opened me up and gives me permission to make quick decisions with regards to stuff. With four kids always coming and going, there is always plenty of stuff!

Without that stuff, I'm able to better focus my time and be productive.

No clutter = more time.

Amazing.

I've been inspired by a few posts, notably this one over at Pink Ronnie. Because of it, I decided to put together some "pretty" schedules that I can include in my Project Life - which is decidedly lacking in evidence of my OCD tendencies!

WEEK DAY TASKS

Aside from the usual cooking, laundry and cleaning, this is pretty complete.

KEY: In order to maximize my wait time: in parking lots, in doctor's offices, etc, I have a bag packed with projects, magazines and activities. I do a lot of waiting and I was feeling that time time of Facebook and Pinterest was just too much!

I am always doing something. It is my prefered state of being. Then, inevitably, the phone rings or someone is at the door and it takes me a while to get back in to my much preferred state of creative flow. Having a plan gives me a quick way to get back on track.

WEEKLY TASKS

Each week, in addition to the schedule above, I write out a detailed "to do" list. I no longer just write an endless list, my new system has my chores and errands divided into a few categories:

Errands to Run
Calls to Make
Around the House
Blog, iPhoto, Projects
For the Kids
In the Planning Stages

No category every has more than five items in it. I don't want to be overwhelmed or defeated before I start. By doing this, my time is used more effectively as a number of chores can be completed at one time or at least in one area of town. It really has been effective and tons gets done.

I live in a town where most mums I've met judge their worth by the depth of their lists: the minutia and details. I've learned to judge my worth by the completeness and effectiveness of my list.

Epiphany: Done is better than busy.

MONTHLY TASKS

I have used a Fly Lady-inspired Control Journal for at least a decade now and it has proven to be an invaluable tool for keeping us on track and organized. As my electronic calendar, I use the iCal program that came with my Mac. It communicates with my iPhone and with iCloud I'm able to have it communicate with all of the kids so we're all on track and know where we have to be all the time.

QUARTERLY & SEASONAL TASKS

My seasonal activity chart is a chart of all the kid activities that I made up ages ago. It is a simple table I made up in Word that I update regularly as activities are added and deleted through the weeks. I keep it on the fridge as a physical reminder of what we have to do that day.

ANNUAL TASKS

I have to say, my annual task list is very low-key and I'm happy to not be as crazy busy as many of my peers. It's by choice. I'm sure I could have a ton of other events but my days are so full, I like to pace myself when I can.

With all this I should be the most organized mum around. And you know, I think I am!

list | 6 of 52

Last week I posted that I had joined up with 52 Lists at Moorea Seal and now that I've caught up, here is my newest list:

52 LISTS | Week Six | LIST THE WAYS IN WHICH YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS

• Listen
• Do not fix or lecture, just quietly support
• Be happy with self, first
• Give foot rubs and back rubs
• Laugh at lame jokes and riddles
• Hand over the clicker and watch their show
• Answer emails, tweets and blog comments
• Smile
• Treat people the way I want to be treated
• Tell the truth, even if it hurts. If you love and respect them the truth is the only way to go
• Provide for your children, even if it means you have to make sacrifices
• Cook good meals, even if reluctantly
• Sing, and let them join in
• Bathe and brush your teeth
• Think of others first
• Stay in contact
• Hold their hand
• Give a hug
• Advocate for my family and friends with others
• Foster forgiveness and understanding
• Model socially acceptable behavior
• Make reservations
• Practice patience
• Fold laundry
• Trust my instincts and intuition
• Think of something nice to say then say it, stop holding back
• Be corny!
• Ask questions and show interest
• Own it – my words, my actions, my beliefs
• Follow my heart
• Say “I love you, too”

What about you?

 

list | listening to the universe

Early last week I got three signs:

This post via Design Crush;

then this post via Ali Edwards;

and a couple of pins on Pinterest

all within an hour.

So, what did I do? Naturally, I listened to the Universe and went over to check out what was going on with Moorea Seal. What did I discover? Some lovely jewelry, yes. Then, for a list-maker like myself ... NIRVANA!

Ali is right, not only is 52 Lists a great idea to include in Project Life, or One Little Word, or any other memory keeping project, it is IDEAL for my most recent Project LEE. What is that? Well, I have come to realize that the time has come for me to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and it's high time I get out of the house and fend for myself.

I've hired a Life Coach and am doing a lot of reading and researching. These lists may just come in handy to focus in on what it is that interests me and captures my attention.

The big question? Will I do them or will this become just one more project I join in and then let fall by the wayside? There is always that chance but I'm a fan of lists and this is a relatively easy creative task to accomplish. I managed to write out the first five prompts in less than an hour - editing included! I was on a roll :)

52 LISTS | Week One | List the words that touch your soul

Family

Truth

Respect

Kindness

Courage

Authentic

Open

Laughter

Lemons

Friendship

Love

Patience

Welcome

Drive

Children

Generosity

Roots

Present

Inclusive

Cozy

Happy

Wisdom

Intuition

Chowder

Smile

Wit

Blank Page

Challenge

New

Gathering

Project

Cobblestones

Fog

Genuine

Resilience

Appreciation

Sunshine

Curiosity

Clean

Order

Music

Peonies

Soil

Growth

Spirit

Pencils

Sing

Cast Iron

Plans

Harmony

Focus

Lists

Story

Ambition

Sleep

Goals

Books

Learn

Hugs

Stars

Acceptance

Writing

Sharing

Capable

Bubbles

Mistakes

Lessons

Energy

Compassion

Grace

Freedom

Expression

Essence

Create

Quiet

Reflection

Joy

Onward

Moss

Moonbeams

Help

Lavender

Effort

Flow

Make

Sparkle

Cable Knit

Water

Sand

Fireplace

Breezes

Photographs

Questions

Connection

Optimism

Complete

 

52 LISTS | Week Two | List your greatest comforts

• Writing lists.
• Enjoying the luxuries of a posh hotel.
• Watching my children do what they love: on stage, on court, wherever.
• The first sip of coffee in the morning.
• Getting my life and home cleaned up and organized.
• Dark chocolate.
• Making plans: travel, articles, purchases, camps for kids.
• Fresh starts.
• Roast chicken with mashed potatoes and green beans.
• Scarves.
• Surrounding myself with books and photographs.
• Sitting in a still and quiet spot, letting my mind wander.
• Long showers.
• Thyroid medication.
• Singing in the truck – sometimes with, sometimes without, the kids.
• Driving to Cape Cod for our annual summer holiday.
• Being early.
• Gathering people together, watching connections happen.
• Long talks with my sister Beth.
• Listening to my children talk – and tease – each other.
• Acceptance letters arriving from Universities for Claire.
• Overhead fans.
• My (now ratty) black duster sweater – like wearing a hug.
• Floating in water.
• When the kids “argue” about who loves me more.
• Good conversation.
• Lunch out with friends.
• Optimism.
• Genuine offers of support and acceptance.
• Embracing life with confidence and kindness – there is more to learn.
• Daring greatly. Living wholehearted. Full.

 

52 LISTS | Week Three | List the things you shuld be proud of

• I am raising four kind and authentic children. They are my raison d'être - reason for being.
• Finding the courage to divorce – knowing there is a better life for me.
• Listening to my sister and going to the doctor. It saved my life.
• I have accepted that I am insatiably curious and want to learn new things all the time – and that’s okay.
• I have really good intuition and instincts. I won’t let someone tell me I’m wrong – or not to trust myself - again.
• I am able to look at any situation – even tragic or mean - and see the good, the lessons, in it.
• My health is now a top priority. I’ve changed how I eat, how I move, how I think about myself as I prepare for a long and strong future.
• The greatest lessons in my life have been taught by the most vile of teachers. I thank them as I loathe them.
• I have found my voice. I have plans to use it.
• I recognize my many flaws and realize that they are part of what makes me who I am and I like her. Without those flaws what would I have to work on?
• There is no shame in therapy. Knowledge, especially self-knowledge, is crucial to live a full and honest life.
• I am learning to let myself be loved.
• I am rediscovering talents and happily realizing I have many new ones too.
• I enjoy encouraging others to be the best they are able to be. I am not much of a teacher, but by example I am doing my best to empower others.
• I will let my children make mistakes, but I am also their greatest advocate when they need me to step in.
• I do not define myself, or my surroundings, by the delusions of others. I live in a weird place.
• It took a while but I realized that I am worthy. I am enough.

 

52 LISTS | Week Four | List your current & future goals & dreams

• Figure out what I want to be when I grow up! It’s time to figure it out and put a plan together – so I hired a Life Coach! Fingers crossed.
• Finally get that root canal so I can eat fruit again!
• I want to make every effort to stay in consistent contact with my family and my friends, always.
• Finish up the projects and purchases for the house and make it the oasis I want for now and in the future.
• LOSE THE WEIGHT. Stay healthy and strong.
• Travel: Back to the SW States, all over Europe by train, Hawai’i, Tahiti and Bora Bora, Northern Africa, Western Russia, and wherever else sounds interesting.
• Buy a place on the water – maybe in the Carolinas? Georgia?
• Join a social club and get out more. Engage!
• Determine my personal fashion and décor style and purchase only those things that reflect it.
• Find a quiet space. And just listen.
• Take a cooking course and learn to make cooking fun :)
• Attend a TED conference.
• Fix the blog and make it what I want it to be.
• Write a book. A big, beautiful, glorious book. Or a small, beautiful, glorious book. Size doesn’t matter – content does.
• Attend my children’s graduations from high school and University.
• Take classes – art, writing, and photography – forever.
• Go to a Squam Retreat in New Hampshire.
• Become a grandmother – many times over.
• Never stop creating.
• Find comfortable – and long enough - jeans.
• Always have something to do.
• Develop a way to stay cool, all the time.
• Make my children’s lives comfortable and filled with love.
• Always continue learning new things.
• Find someone to love, who will love me.

52 LISTS | Week Five |List what you are grateful for

• Waking up every morning.
• The love, trust and respect of my kids.
• My inquisitive nature and insatiable need to learn.
• My home and who I share it with.
• Always having something to do.
• My dad.
• Choices.
• Good lawyers.
• Forgiving nature of my children.
• A good eye. I take good photos. Not technically, but they look good!
• Thyroid medication.
• The expanding, er, improving tastes of my family. I am now able to cook more than just chicken nuggets, hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. In fact, none of those things are in my kitchen anymore!
• Opportunity to take the time to find out what I want to do with the rest of my life.
• Laughter.
• Conversations with Beth. Enjoying the bond of shared experiences.
• Resilience.
• My blog. Google Reader. Pinterest. Facebook.
• TED & TEDx
• CBS Sunday Morning, BRAVO and Netflix
• Steve Jobs & Apple
• SiriusXM36 and Cogeco314
• Access to fresh fruits and vegetables all year long.
• Tons of after school and holiday opportunities for the kids.
• No more hockey – or hockey mean.
• Constant change.
• Longer days.
• Growing confidence.
• Sauvignon Blanc.

 

Today I'll download Week Six to post next week.

What about you? Do you like making lists?

 

hello monday | 57

We got a crazy amount of snow late last week and now we have above average temperatures. This is just a reminder of what things were like less than a week ago!

hello back to normal. cole is back home and life has returned to it's normal fullness!

hello bose system. what a difference. love!

hello finished projects. lots of photos have arrived from persnickety prints. i've put my december daily photos, 12x12 prints and reverb12 into albums. i'm thinking maybe i should share the reverb project now that there are photos, too.

hello foodie blog. newly discovered. we have loved every single recipe i've made.

hello long weekend. with the rare snow day on friday of last week it feels like we just had one! but the kids are officially off school this friday and next monday.

hello dentist. back again. holy moly!

hello acting mechanics. the courses at armstrong start on saturday. both cole and chloé are very excited! this is a whole new level of things.

hello living room rug. it was ordered in september the area rug has just arrived! it's a whopping 10 feet x 12 feet and it's going to be a crazy event trying to get it set up in the living room.

hello pebble beach. watched the pro-am all weekend. just the fix i needed to make it through to the masters in april :)

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week.
i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

4 Simple Goals | February 2013 (a bit late!)

My 4 Simple Goals, February 2013:

1. SPRING BREAK PLANS. I can't believe how fast it's coming up. Our plans are 80% finished. It's time to get some paperwork completed, some information submitted and some excursions booked. The kids are jazzed, and so am I!
2. iPOD/iTUNES. I find it all pretty complicated. I have to figure out a way to combine all of the libraries from all of the computers and then put it on my iPod. Too many computers. Too many accounts. Too confusing!
3. SCHOOL REGISTRATION. Its hard to believe another year is coming up. For a while I kept adding kids, this will be my first where I'm taking one away. Only three are returning with Claire heading off to University. Eek! (Still deciding the particulars of that new adventure.)
4. PHOTO DISPLAY. The photos have been cropped, edited and sent off to Persnickety Prints, now it's time to get the frames and map out the spaces for hanging. This is one project that won't sit around half done!

REWARD*: I have found this winter has taken it's toll on me more than others - far fewer sunny days, I find. As a reward I'd like to get myself a happy potted plant: gerbera daisy, tulips or peace lily would be nice.

*I recognize that meeting the goals is reward in itself. This is a reward beyond that - a small tangible token.

What about you? Do you have a few activity-oriented goals you'd like to meet? If so and you participate, let me know! I'd love to see what you have planned!

In August 2010, Elsie Flannigan posted a simple and doable challenge. I've been doing it ever since!

real around here | pet peeves

I poured a calming cup of cranberry tea then started thinking about this post!

I don't often focus on the things I find annoying, but lately I feel like there's a conspiracy to have me lose my temper. It's a good thing I'm slow to boil - but when I do, look out! Keep in mind, I'm a complete control-freak-single-mother-of-four-celt-by-blood. Okay, you've been warned. Proceed. With caution!

• Repetitive noises drive me bonkers. bonkers. bonkers.
• Waste. Any kinds of waste. Food. Time. Money. It turns on my internal calculator which annoys me!
• The word "actually" when used by my children in a condescending know-it-all manner. Oh that tone! It drives me nuts!
• Telemarketers.
• Sperm donors who think they are entitled to more than they deserve.
• When you ask someone to stop a specific behaviour, just until you are out of the way, and they don't.
• To those children with no table (or toilet seat or respect your elders or don't interrupt) manners. Sigh. Your parents really did you a disservice. So when you're corrected the answer is not "but my mum lets me" - the correct response is, "thanks for letting me know." And then don't do it again.
• Sweat. Ick. A necessary evil, but I really hate it.
• Uninformed opinions. Spout off all you want, but please educate yourself with the basic unarguable facts first.
• Anyone who goes into a public place - book store, restaurant, theatre - sick. I can understand a pharmacy - or even the grocery store if you have no one to bring  you food, but leisure activities? Spare us all, please.
• When my children don't listen the first time. This is not a democracy.
• Or when they interject when I'm speaking with someone. Argh!
• When solicitors come to the door and ring the doorbell repeatedly when it is not answered. I know YOU think your cause is important, I do not have to agree. I respect your passion. Respect my right to not answer - the first time.
• When talking about universities, to all those uber competitive parents who say "but he could have got in" - shut up. He didn't get in which means he couldn't get in. Get over it.
• Dirty dishes left in the sink.
• When you try to take a photo and the exact same person makes a stupid face, or movement, over and over and over again. Thereby ruining every photo taken. This is particularly annoying at the end of a championship game, on holiday and in celebration of something that won't happen again.
• If things are not put away where they belong in the garage and I cannot get the truck parked.
• When my kids speak - out loud - about what a deadbeat their dad is and what they think of him. Not that it's not true, but I'm tired of hearing about it. I'm doing all I can to make it better for them.
• When my kids "can't find" something in the fridge. That something is usually directly in front of them!
• At the grocery check out and the person in front of me has forgotten one thing. They realize when they are almost done. They don't ask, but run off to get whatever that one thing is and come back, minutes later, with arms full of stuff. Irksome, especially when this happens at the express lane!
• Most of this stuff happens and I just keep my mouth shut, head down and move along. Unless it is some stupidity on the road. Bad manners on the road rarely hear my horn, but my kids have learned more than a curse word or two! Those same children hear when they've stepped out of line - I chalk it up to parenting.

Whew. Okay, I feel much better now. Hmm. My kids are clearly driving me crazy of late. Must find a way to fix that :)

What is your greatest pet peeve?

hello monday | a new year

Back in October 2011 I started this journey of hello monday. I found my inspiration, where I often find inspiration, Katrina's blog - who found it via Lisa's blog.

I have always been a fan of Mondays. I am a great starter so Mondays really work for me. I finish every Hello Monday post with:

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week.
i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

I plan on continuing this practice through this year. Join me!

many books were read for pleasure over the holiday. those days are over! we are already looking forward to the spring break so books can be enjoyed again.

hello 2013. i'm looking forward to only good things ahead.

hello bathroom. wow. white subway tiles. white and black hexagon tiles. black flooring. it is really coming together. now for the big wait for the vanity.

hello back-to-school (tomorrow). i really enjoyed the time away from the routine of school and after-school activities but it's time to get back to reality - and order!

hello university acceptance stress. oh my, how i wish i could protect my child from this time. i have no recollection of stress, just the fun of it all - the excitement of my future and the adventures that lay ahead. this is not fun, at all.

hello time. i am going to focus more of my time on my projects and my health. the social stuff is fun, but makes me feel guilty that i'm not getting anything accomplished. 

hello scandal. where has this show been hiding? watched a "marathon" and it should be called scandalous.

hello lessons. i've told my kids that it's best to be honest. always. 'sparing' someone's feelings only delays things and ends up hurting worse in the end when everything comes out anyway.

hello barefoot contessa. your new book rocks! foolproof is the absolute right word for it.

hello lists. my computer is filled with those yellow virtual sticky notes - and plenty of the real ones too! lots to do.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week.
i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

4 Simple Goals | January 2013

My 4 Simple Goals, to start off the new year, January 2013:

1. SUMMER PLANS. I know it sounds ridiculous to make plans for July in January, but it's remarkable how quickly things fill up. I want a framework for our summer plans outlined by the end of the month.
2. ONLINE PROJECTS. I've signed up for One Little Word; Move More, Eat Well 2.0; The Art of Composition over at Big Picture Classes. I am determined to keep up with all of them. The biggie will be Snapshots of a Good Life starting next week. I want to do them all. Well. No excuses!
3. SWIM. This is a repeat from last month, but it was easy to swim 10x in Barbados! I want to see if I can manage the same while trudging to the YMCA in the gray, snow and cold as opposed to bright sunshine with ocean breezes!
4. DIGITAL WORKFLOW. It's time to develop a new workflow for my projects. I have taken a bit of a creative break (over a year!) and it's a mess. Really well past time to put a plan together and work toward a few *new* tangible goals instead of just thinking about them.

REWARD*: After taking my girls, I realized I really want to get my ears re-pierced. If I get these goals accomplished, I'll take myself up to Way Cool Tatoos and get my own ears done.

*I recognize that meeting the goals is reward in itself. This is a reward beyond that - a small tangible token.

What about you? Do you have a few activity-oriented goals you'd like to meet? If so and you participate, let me know! I'd love to see what you have planned!

In August 2010, Elsie Flannigan posted a simple and doable challenge. I've been doing it ever since!

Year in Review

I found a wonderful blog, via my #Reverb12 project, that has provided me with some fabulous ideas and insight. This Year In Review is borrowed from her and she in turn borrowed it from someone else. Love how this thing works :)

Dateline: Oakville, Ontario on Monday, December 31, 2012 at 9:19AM

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

I roasted asparagus. I visited Barbados, with six kids. I drove for 19-hours straight through to Fredericton, NB from Oakville, ON, at night. I faced fear and won. I dealt with household "disasters" and lesser issues immediately. I stood up to bullies - and their parents.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

For a long time now, I have elected to choose a word to guide my year rather than making resolutions. I'd rather set myself up for success than deal with the inevitable failure found in a list of resolutions I'd never keep. Goals will always be set, but they are in the framework of my "one little word". This year I chose "nourish".

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Alas, that stage seems to be over, for now.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Fortunately, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

United States - Arizona, New York and Massachusettes; Barbados

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

A more organized home, focused exercise, engagement with other people, fewer but better clothes, a book outline, adult male companionship

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The dates that remain in my head are those that the kids' father chose to see them: August 18 and December 28 - and no, no regular calls in between. On those two occasions he asked to see three of the kids. I don't interefere (I just make appointments for my children with the psychologist). I've already told their dad to be in contact with them more but he's a big boy and will make his own choices. Unfortunately he continues to be selfish and makes choices reflective of him and his needs rather than those of his children.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Trusting myself, getting over paralyzing anxiety

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not moving enough and as a result, not losing any weight

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not really, though after my first tennis lesson my knees took two weeks to recover and they're still not back to feeling the same. I learned I am unable to hold any B12 in my system which is part of my battle losing weight. The downside is really scary so my focus is finding out how to fix the B12 problem. I continue to take my thyroid and asthma meds.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The air conditioning units for the boys' bedrooms. And the Suburban.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Unsexy spending, indeed.

13. What did you get really excited about?

I was excited to start Project Life. I was excited - and nervous - to have my kids in one direction and me in another over March Break. I was excited to have Claire's life start beginning with her moving into boarding - a great prep year. Skyping with her has been a new and fun experience. I was excited for the new Principal at our school - what a welcome change! I was excited to see the end of the hockey season and to NOT register the boys for another season. I was excited for Cole to return to school without the pressure of the bullies who did not return. Wonder why? I was excited to get my new Suburban. I was excited to visit Cape Cod. I was excited to see all of my kids perform. I was excited to make our trip to the Maritimes and see my family and friends. It has been too long. I was excited to get the house repaired. I was excited to install a ceiling fan in my bedroom. I was excited to teach the kids how to BBQ steak properly and not overcook. No more ruined meat! I was excited to celebrate birthdays. I was excited to get my life back.

14. What song(s) will always remind you of 2012?

Apartment & Cough Syrup | Young the Giant
Anna Sun | Walk the Moon
Ho Hey | The Lumineers
Danny and Dakota | A Silent Film
Breathing Underwater | Metric
Take A Walk | Passion Pit
It's Time & Radioactive | Imagine Dragons
Someone That I Used To Know | Gotye
Carry On & Some Nights | Fun

Pretty much anything on either AltNation (SyriusXM) or Galaxy314 (Cogeco) keeps us entertained.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier. So much happier.
– thinner or fatter? Exactly the same :(
– richer or poorer? Richer - in spirit!

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Engage. And move more. And creative project completion. And read.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worry. 

18. How did you spend Christmas?

I took my kids and two friends - so six teenagers - to Barbados for the week leading up to Christmas. We arrived home at 11:58PM on Christmas Eve. The house was decorated and the packages all wrapped so we woke to a pretty easy morning. The kids each got three gifts (it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for my kids!) and the afternoon was spent watching "Brave" (Claire's gift) and playing Caden's new WiiU. We headed off to the McCarley's for turkey, stuffing and games. It was a lovely day! Everyone was pooped and we were all back home and in bed by 10PM.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Of the new television programs, my most favourite was Elementary. My past favourite, The Good Wife was always off schedule due to football so the DVR was always messed up. I think I'll just buy the seasons and watch them on my own time this summer rather than deal with the frustration. I got HBO in order to see The Newsroom and I still haven't seen one episode! I still enjoy Grimm, Once Upon a Time and The Voice. CBS Sunday Morning is a staple as is Canada AM. I am "off" Glee as it is too uneven, even Castle is getting too cheezy, and Mentalist is meh. I'm no longer watching the ladies of The View but now that the election is over it may be tolerable. With so little to choose, you'd think I'd be reading more!

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

I didn't read anywhere near as many books as I'd have liked but earlier in the year I enjoyed Everybody Sees The Ants by A.S. King, it really put a lot in perspective. By far and away, the best book I've read in YEARS has to have been Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn - spectacular.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Early on, I made a decision to listen to the music that captured the imagination and interest of my children. If I remember one thing from being a teenager myself it is that kids speak in terms of music. The great generational divide could be bridged, if not completely, somewhat, by listening to the same music. I am well outnumbered by my children and I needed a safety place, somewhere we had something in common. Alternative Rock is where it was for me this year.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Some years ago I stopped going to movies. You stop doing the things that create ridicule and criticism, right? I have always enjoyed movies. This past week I went to see ARGO. Holy smokes! Amazing. That was followed up by seeing Les Misérables the next evening. Going to the theatre just happened to be the very last layer of suppressive crap I had to shed.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

After some debate, it was determined that I was turning 48 at my last birthday in September. (I never remember my age and the kids have to tell me.) I came home from a school event to a dining room filled with balloons and kids smiling and singing. It was a great surprise!

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I would have liked my kids father to have been present in their lives. For me his absence has been wonderful and it's provided me with an opportunity to fast-track my return to myself, but the kids aren't divorcing him. An effort to include them in his life would have been nice. The occasional phone call would have been welcome rather than his months of silence.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

I started 2012 in the same black yoga pants I've been wearing for years. I had idea that I'd wear the exact same stuff until I lost weight. Well, that plan didn't work very well. The yoga pants have been tossed. By the end of the year I'd purchased a pair of jeans that fit - they're even long enough!

26. What kept you sane?

My children. Writing. My sister, Beth. Music. My friends. Wine. My Naturopath. Walks. Lunches. Steel Cut Oats. Foot rubs. Always having something to do.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

I am enough.

12.12.12 | A Wishing Day

Are you familiar with Susannah Conway? Well, according to her blog, today - 12.12.12 - is a "wishing day".

Earlier today, while I was out running errands, I took some time to have a cup of tea and catch up on blog reading. I came across her post and it really got me to thinking that I've been far too embedded in "real" that I have forgotten to put any energy in "wish".

If there is any truth to the idea that there is something to this wishing thing, I don't want the day to go by without adding my wish list to it!

Following Susannah's lead:

I wish for creative fulfillment. I wish for the continued safety and security of my family. I wish for the stamina and energy to keep up with my MOVE goals. I wish for my children to find their joy and pursue it - no matter what it is. I wish for finished projects. I wish for long walks with my camera in hand. I wish for foot massages to ease me to sleep. I wish for a completed home: virtual and real. I wish for a man who is kind, courageous and curious who wants to be with me for the fun and the mundane. I wish for travel to exotic and familiar locales. I wish for a weekend of silence. I wish for a cashmere replacement for my long black sweater. I wish for cooking lessons to make it less of a chore. I wish for a clean and organized home - every day. I wish to be surrounded by intelligent, kind, agenda-free people. I wish to dance in the rain. I wish for success in my effort to lose weight. I wish to open my heart and nurture my soul.

perspective | the man list

Note: this was originally written on 4 June 2011. At that point I had been separated from my husband for over four years, though we shared the same house. I was not comfortable publishing it then. I'm more than comfortable publishing it now. I find it amazing what time, distance and perspective can do for your attitude!

* * * * *

04 June 2011

I find it a bit startling, but more amusing, when some of my friends ask me about my plans for moving on ... in a personal sense. Clearly no one feels that it's enough that I'm packing up my house, making necessary repairs, finishing projects, dealing with real estate agents (lovely), bankers (lovely), lawyers (lovely - well, most), cops (hmm) and all manner of services (some good, some not so much), but everyone wants to know when I'm going to start looking after me. As in ... dating.

Everyone is a romantic, even the worst cynic.

My answer is simple, a resounding "No."

I realize that those close to me want to see me happy. So do I. My kids are in that group. They are on some kind of search for the "perfect guy for Mama". They ask me what I think about the teachers they know; the neighbours we have had past and present; the non-attached parents of their friends and teammates. I realize it is all considered in an effort to make me feel better and optimistic about my future. It does. The caring and concern by so many makes my heart sing.

I have had plenty of occasion to be so very grateful for the kindness of many of the men in my life, those who have stepped up and really taken on the cloak of "hero" in this whole messy business of pending-divorce. Some of them may never know just how their gentle kindness, silly smiles and corny jokes have made me feel like my load has been lightened, if only a little bit. I have a crush on each and every one of them - and their partners are often the object of my envy.

I am equally grateful for the women who tell me to slow down and be more kind to myself. I'm really learning to laugh again. I am so grateful for their insight, experience and advice. I have a crush on each and every one of them, too - and their partners should thank their lucky stars!

Even in this state of transition, I realize I'm way ahead of the game as I have always believed that you cannot be happy with someone unless you are happy with yourself. You know something? I really like the woman I am, certainly the one who is evolving: a complex, vulnerable, healthy, strong, fun - one who finally has her priorities right! I am ripe for much, I just can't imagine anyone meeting the majority of "musts" on my list. Now, granted, that list is being made by me, someone in the midst of licking her wounds, but still, it's pretty hard to meet.

A few women I know, when they were at that last gasp of faith in finding the right partner, wrote down their criteria. As of today, here is mine:

THE MAN LIST

• It takes a special kind of man, one with a unique confidence, to handle someone who is strong-willed, creative, driven, vulnerable and independent.  Oh, and mama to four pre- and full-teens. I need that confidence and understanding. They need it more.
• I don't need someone filled with bravado and bullshit. I need someone who knows who he is, with little apology, but with enough kindness and humour to laugh at himself. And let me laugh, too.
• I want someone who is engaged. Fully involved in his life: his career, his friends, his family, to which my children and I would be a compliment, not a detraction. And I want him to be open to be a part of my friends and family, too.
• I want to be cared for - really. Not only that, I know I'm asking for a lot, but at 5'10" I want to feel enveloped and safe when hugged.
• I want to be hugged. I want to walk through the neighbourhood holding hands. I want a gentle squeeze of support when I'm uncomfortable. I want to sit on the couch watching Hockey Night in Canada in quiet comfort - even if he's watching and I'm reading a book.
• I want my children to be treated with respect and humour. With kindness and understanding. With encouragement and knowledge. With patience, good judgement and love.
• I want someone to want to provide for me. I know I can do it myself, I want someone to step up and do it with me. A full financial and emotional partner.
• I want charm with substance. I want a twinkle in the eye that hints at great intelligence and warmth. I want a smile that goes to the eyes.
• I want someone patient with my temper. I am very slow to boil, but once I hit a good simmer, holy smokes, just let me blow. Respect me enough to let me give vent to my opinion.
• I want someone to talk to my kids about what interests my kids, not dominate them with opinions and ideas of their own.
• I want someone to engage with my children - don't talk about how great golf is - show them; don't talk about how great a band is - play it for them or go to a concert; don't talk about how lovely Scotland or France or Italy is - take them; don't talk to them about science and principles - show them. Make it fun for everyone. A great adventure. ENGAGE them.
• Personal habits? Everyone has them. Please don't smoke. Please don't lie - even those easy lies of omission. Please say "excuse me" if you burp or fart. Please choose me, first - always. Please don't go for a 20-minute dump the minute I call everyone to the table for dinner. Please don't treat me like I'm stupid. Please, no porn. Please finish the projects you start. Please pick up after yourself. Please don't have an opinion if you are not willing to live by that opinion yourself.
• Let me cry. It's not done as a manipulation, it is done as a release. Let me release.
• Please remember my birthday, and buy me a token. I don't want for anything, but the idea that you listened and found something for me because you thought I'd like it? Take my breath away. And then resuscitate me!
• Please do not be rude to my friends - or anyone for that matter. I really don't care if you've had a bad day, you have no right to impose your mood on others. I teach this principle to my kids, and I expect the same of the adults around me.
• Please encourage me when I decide I want to do something. If I decide to quit smoking, please do not smoke in front of me or in my house. If I decide to lose weight, don't go to the bakery and buy me my favourite carrot cake. When I decide to invite my parents over - or visit with them - do not choose that morning to find a meaningless argument to fight over. Please do not sabotage my efforts to be better.

How can I be so clear on what I want, after all, I've only just separated from my husband. The reality? I've been separated for a very long time - and thought about it for at least double that time - and realized that though my soon to be (but not soon enough) ex-husband might have met some of this criteria when we were first married, he definitely does not meet them after 16 years of marriage.

Through the journey I have to admit it came as more than a bit of surprise to realize that there was someone who provided a lovely distraction. In my head. It never occured to me that the part of me so long dormant, near dead, was not gone at all. It was joyous to realize that someone could be, maybe, interested in me as more than just mother to four fabulous kids or the lady with the big laugh and biting sense of humour. I am thrilled for the distraction and until it's more, it is what he is. Lovely.

I tell my children: when you don't ask, the answer is an automatic "no". I didn't realize I was falling into the same trap.

 

04/06/11

* * * * *

Now here we are eighteen months later and I find I'm in a place where, when my kids and friends suggest that I go on a date, I'm not so quick to say "no". There is still so much to work on to make me a better me, but boy am I ever so much better than I was back then! Funny enough, though I've made huge strides, my Man List is pretty much the same with one small change.

To all of the above, modify to include:

My kids are getting older and therefore no longer need to be hands-on parented as much. Ideally the right man would have a home, children and life of his own, he would be someone who is looking to spend an evening at dinner or the theatre, head out of town for a weekend getaway or a week-long holiday, someone happy to chill at home - all this without children, his or mine. I am not looking to get married ever again. I am not looking for a co-parent. I am not looking for any long term emotional or financial commitment. I am simply looking to be in the company of a good, honest and kind person, someone I can appreciate for whatever time is available.

So, there it is. Out in the Universe.

It's time to ask.

List | Listening

I have always enjoyed popular music. That being said, it never occurred to me that at this age and stage I would enjoy the same music as my kids. It kind of surprised me, when Claire put on the Alt Nation station on our XM satelite system in the truck, that I recognized and enjoyed most of what is being played.

I tell you, it makes for some pretty pleasant road trips sharing similar musical tastes with my kids!

These are older and newer tunes just newly-added to my iPod.

Gotye Somebody That I Used To Know

Death Cab For Cutie Stay Young, Go Dancing

Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds If I Had A Gun

The Black Keys Gold On The Ceiling

The Naked And Famous Punching In A Dream

Hey Rosetta!* Welcome

Givers Up Up Up

Bombay Bicycle Club Shuffle (starts with an ad, sorry - worth the wait!!)

The Temper Trap Sweet Disposition

M83 Midnight City

Low Level Flight* Cash Machine

Foo Fighters These Days & Walk

The Joy Formidable A Heavy Abacus

Group Love Tongue Tied (another ad, but again, worth the wait)

City and Colour* The Grand Optimist

Young The Giant Apartment & Cough Syrup

Cults Go Outside

Mumford & Sons Roll Away Your Stone & The Cave

The Standstills* Carry On

Fun We Are Young

Foster The People Don't Stop (Color On The Walls) & Pumped Up Kicks

Of Monsters And Men Little Talks

*Indicates Canadian :)

Have you found anything new that you like?

What are you listening to these days?

Lifting | Mighty List (in progress)

Last fall there was an inspiring article (are there any other kind?) over at Carolyn Rubenstein's blog, A Beautiful Ripple Effect. It was an idea she had gleened elsewhere about writing a MIGHTY LIST. A brain dump of about 100 things you want to accomplish before you are unable to accomplish anything else :) Real big dream-to-goal things, not a mundane laundry list of chores.

That was last October! Then life, as it so often does, got in the way. I was recently reminded of this idea and since I've thought about it off and on, collected other lists, considered short- and long-term goals and think I've finally come up with something resembling what would be considered my own MIGHTY list - well, a start anyway:

1. Set up a regular annual April vacation at Canyon Ranch in Tucson
2. Learn to cook, properly, from start to finish
3. Take a painting class - watercolours first - then oil and acrylic
4. Finalize the divorce
5. Turn my new home into exactly what I need it to be
6. Create a Blurb book - a big huge gorgeous coffee table tome - then create another
7. Design and run an Etsy store
8. Keep my Project Life up-to-date
9. Read ALL of the books on the school reading list
10. Be a vegetarian for a week, and then, maybe a month
11. Stop eating and drinking refined sugar
12. Take a cruise with stops in Morocco, Turkey and Italy for sure
13. Write - and publish - a book
14. Have my home smudged
15. Hang all of my artwork, put away all of the books, organize the craft and photography stuff
16. Determine (at least) 50 must-watch movies and then watch with my kids
17. Choose my favourite blog posts and put them into book form
18. Lose the weight, enough to feel good again
19. Put together ALL of my creative projects in various stages of 'begun'
20. Post those projects
21. Replace the nasty builder toilets
22. Organize all of my photos and digital art (30,000+ files) in iPhoto
23. Fix and cull all of the categories on my blog
24. Update the blog with a new look
25. Create the perfect lemonade
26. Plant a dogwood in my front garden
27. Swim, every day, because I love it
28. Find someone who brings out the best in me
29. Plan (and execute) Claire's birthday - on 20-12 2012
30. Submit 10 "guest posts" for publication consideration
31. Update and submit my resumé
32. Watch the opera - MET showings - at Silvercity
33. Switch from BlackBerry to iPhone
34. Take golf lessons - then golf
35. Hire a weekly cleaning service
36. Start playing tennis again
37. Write a cookbook for my kids of all our favourite meals
38. Clear out the storage locker
39. Continue to model the behaviour I want to see in my children
40. Model better
41. Take a creative writing course
42. Maybe even go back to school and take the courses I should have taken the first time around
43. Take monthly trips in to Toronto, with the kids, and take advantage of what is available: ROM, AGO, sports events, restaurants - oh so much!
44. Go indoor skydiving
45. Travel by train: one month Southern Europe, one month Northern Europe and the UK, one month Canada, one month Russia and Scandinavia
46. Travel by car: one month through the U.S.
47. Volunteer for a month or two in Africa
48. Put together a library of all the creative courses I've taken - and finish the projects
49. Feel rested and 100% well
50. The biggest unattainable dream in my life, ever: have an article published by Vanity Fair magazine

This list-in-progress is exactly what I had planned, a brain dump - in no particular order - of the things I'd like to accomplish. The big things. The things that have been weighing on me for a while.

What is on your Mighty List?

LIST 01 | realized lately

I'm a list person.

I thrive in order and control, especially with a calendar in hand! In my effort to "keep it real" around here, I'm hoping to post the occasional list of some kind - preferably relective in nature - and this is my first effort. Things have been a bit chaotic over the last few months and I need a spot to collect those things that leak from my brain!

I have come to realize, fully, lately:

1. My concept of "sexy" has changed. It is no longer defined by a melodic voice, broad shoulders and a twinkle in the eye; it is now defined by employment, humour and more than a little acceptance of humble. Oh, and super sexy is a man who is a good dad to his children. Swoon.
2. We eat a lot of chicken and too many of us prefer dark meat. I have to figure out what to do with the white meat left on the rotisserie chickens we buy!
3. I am disappointed by those in authority who use "privacy" and "confidentiality" as a means to manipulate. The problem is, as a result, they have given far too much power to those they are supposed to guide and protect. Transparency, on the other hand, has very little downside to the genuine and honest among us. I fully embrace transparency. With it comes a feeling of security and calm.
4. This new home of ours is lovely but I miss one thing from the old house: my connection to outdoors. For five years we lived in a house with floor-to-ceiling windows and it really connected me with nature and the weather. I'm trying to figure out how to continue that feeling of connection under very different circumstances.
5. I crave, of all things, oatmeal. Every morning. I have forgotten to set the crock pot a few evenings and it really does ruin my morning!
6. It is way harder to look at the bright side and approach the world with positive intent than the alternative. I'm learning that only the weak and lazy rely on negative energy. I no longer care that my staying away from toxic people makes me appear rude. I'm not rude, I'm just not willing to waste my time on the weak and lazy.
7. A full king size bed to myself? Bliss.
8. I always think I have way more time than I do. I never account for life getting in the way. Those 23 boxes in January? Still stacked up! The appliances? Still not purchased, delivered or installed. The painting? I still must call a painter - but I have yet to find one who is not a thief. Sigh.
9. You never hear the full story from your kids until some time has passed. Only recently have I heard about Claire's first "semi" (in grade 7, four years ago) as we were discussing her most recent "semi", on Friday night. I love how she speaks with such endearment about one of the boys who now, in grade eleven, she doesn't associate with at school. I wonder if he knows? And if he does, does it matter?
10. Sometimes my children speak to me in a language I just simply do not understand. Case in point? Caden speaks "gamer" to me. Um, what was that? Sure. I think. Maybe.

This has to stop! I could go on and on. And on.

What have you realized lately?