Embrace Life

claire | the bahamas

Normally I'd not be going anywhere in mid-February but this year has been hard. Hard on everyone, but especially hard on my Claire. She has eczema and on the best days it is awful, but this winter the condition has gone to a whole new level of painful. What do you do with an 18-year old who is suffering? Simple: take her some place sunny and salty for at least a few days during her reading week break from university.

Note: this is the trip that almost didn't happen. At 9PM, the night before we were to be at the airport at 6AM, we realized Claire had left her passport at school - a 3-hour drive away! A frantic drive to Kingston and back - her brother in the truck to keep her company, and awake - and we were off to the airport and our holiday on time! Have I mentioned that there is never a dull moment around here? Hoping that never happens again!

This is the view from our room. See that lazy river down there? Fabulous! Went around a few times :)

 Our first stop was the beach. Oh, that bright orb beating down heat? Bliss.

 Aah.

My poor sweet girl. Eczema. Cold sore. She was so happy to have her toes in the sand.

Plato's was, essentially, the lobby bar. That television you can't quite see over the array of liquor? Dedicated to CBC (Canadian) Olympics coverage! A little bit of home while away.

The aquariums were breathtaking. Truly beautiful.

Much like Las Vegas, everything was BIG and OVERDONE. Not my scene, at all, but worth experiencing once.

The casino is, like everything else, over the top. The surprise to me is that there is smoking. It was weird to walk though and realize between the noise and lights, it was dense with cigarette smoke.

Though, when we passed the cigar store on our way to dinner at Carmine's, Claire exclaimed that it smelled like her Grampy, my dad :) I don't know that he's smoked one for years, but it's fun that it brings such fond memories to his granddaughter!

These boats? Outrageous. Simply stunning. We took a slow stroll since our reservations weren't until 9:45PM - the earliest we could get in ANY of the restaurants!

I love me some twinkle lights. It really was lovely down by the marina.

To me it was blistering hot with a lovely tropical Caribbean breeze. Clearly our lifeguard was of a different mindset. He was completely bundled up!

Every day - even a couple of times each day - Claire took a dip in the ocean. The heat, the salt, the sand, all of it worked magic on her! By the time we left her skin had a remarkable recovery. It won't be long lasting, but it was so nice for her to have a few days of relief mid-winter. Spring and summer cannot come fast enough this year.

Olives was beautiful. Another very late dinner, but it was tasty.

There is a little snack shack by the beach. Of all the margarita's enjoyed, I have to say the best was made at this spot! In order for Claire to feel 18 rather than 8, I spent a lot of time here reading and writing while she enjoyed her time in the ocean and getting to know other young people in the beach :)

Everywhere we went there was the sound of water. I loved it.

Virgil's BBQ had the BEST Macaroni & Cheese I've ever had in my life. The ribs were burnt and not in the least bit tasty. (In a previous lifetime I've had awesome hickory smoked ribs and I was really hoping to share that memory with my girl.) From the time we arrived for our 8:30PM reservations to the time we were served our food and given our bill - no dessert or coffee offered - it was 17 minutes. Claire and I just looked at each other and laughed. There didn't seem to be any other option!

So love this face - even more when it's looking clear and she is in less pain!

A highlight was the turtles - well, turtles and the stingrays. So lovely to watch their graceful movements.

By the end of our trip I realized that no one can ask for a better dining partner than Claire. Never a lull in conversation - and wow, all of the topics covered! It is so good to have such an open and honest relationship with my eldest. Love this girl!

And then it was time to pack up and say goodbye. Sun. Beach.

When we landed in Toronto it was a BLIZZARD! Fabulous.

* * * * *

It is generally agreed that Atlantis is excruciatingly expensive. I can confirm that yes, it is. Would I go back? Only if a child who hasn't been there yet - so any one of my remaining three - absolutely insisted.

I felt like I was being nickled-and-dimed to death. Not my preferred condition on holiday. Between the $20+/day cost of WiFi, the $10+/day cost of lockers (if you want to go into the ocean or on the lazy river you don't want to leave your belongings - they will be taken), $25+/day cost of using the gym, transfers to and from the airport were significantly more than hiring a taxi, and you have multiple stops. Crazy.

The room? It was nice but tired. Really felt worn - the whole building (Royal Tower West) did. The sheets were clean when we arrived, but the bedskirts were stained and when they made up the room they simply turned the used sheets around. At $700+ per night? And, I had to call downstairs as we needed toilet paper. Sloppy standards.

The restaurants?

Night One: Carmine's we ranked 3rd. I suppose they couldn't control the fight that broke out, but it really wasn't that good an experience. Oh, and they have those really skimpy 6oz glasses of wine for which they charge $10+.

Night Two: Olives we ranked 2nd, even though out waiter abandoned us and never came back after taking our appetizer plates away except to give us the bill. The food was good and well prepared.

Night Three: Virgil's BBQ we ranked 4th. Really? 17 minutes and $150 bill for burnt ribs and mac & cheese?

Night Four: Nobu we ranked 1st. With a reputation for "rip off" I cannot disagree more. The quality of the food was outstanding and the service was fabulous.

All in all, I'm thrilled I was able to spend some really good time with Claire. She really needed a break from the pressure of upcoming mid-terms and the weather. The beauty of the Bahamas? The Bahamas and its people. If we were to return it would be to a place with less chaos and something worth the $700+ per night.

real right now | nek nominations

Okay, so the whole NEK nominations craze is dangerous at best and deadly at worst.

I am so proud of my girl for making a safe and fun choice, filled with love and chocolate!

 

Clocking in at a mere 3:40, I cannot believe how my heart swelled with pride in a few short minutes! You can't even know how happy I am to claim to be this woman's mother. Claire is becoming exactly who she was meant to be.

Over the last week or so, I've been filing and organizing and tossing and saving all manner of ephemera collected from all of my kids and what I love most is that they are all so completely true to themselves.

If you had asked me ten years ago which of my children would be most likely to walk through a University campus, wearing underwear on the outside of her leggings, with a set of white wings on her back, handing out candy, the only response I would have had would be "Claire".

Happy Valentine's Day!

(To get your own bag of candy, please leave a comment!!)

the current | thirty-three

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:31pm on november 20, 2013
weather outside: winter is on it's way!
mood inside: frazzled and a bit out-of-sorts

drinking perrier with a slice of lemon. in a wine glass. today has been a long, lovely, day!

eating steel cut oats every morning, i prefer it with raisins and walnuts. yum. thinking about adding in some cranberries, too.

embracing new ideas. this is exciting!

enjoying the challenge involved with dreaming up a new business and plan.

cooking lots in the crock pot and bbq while waiting for delivery of the new double oven range.

trying to stay focused and avoiding the temptation to go down the technology or pinterest rabbit hole.

missing what happened to 2013. blink. it's almost gone!

feeling proud of myself for attending regular (2x) weekly reformer pilates classes. i can really feel the difference. it's great!

listening to the silence of my house. my kids are studying or sleeping.

watching our local news. oh rob ford - put the city of toronto first you narcissistic buffoon! what a nauseating display.

reading about all that is required of me as a leader of danielle laporte's desire map book club: the biggest book club ever. i can't wait to get started! what are you doing on january 7th? join in here.

wearing layers. always layers. my body is currently going through some wonky temperature fluctuations! hormones, phewy.

packing scrapers, blankets and emergency supplies into the truck. it's that time of year, for sure!

planning how to decorate for christmas this year. i'm thinking it's time to change things up a bit and have a more "grown up" feel to the house. including pretty breakables! pottery barn? crate & barrel? restoration hardware? inside? outside? big? small? whole house? living room/dining room only? i might be talking myself out of it altogether!

feeling relaxed and calm. i'm finally in a groove. just in time for the end of term! it figures. just in time for things to change up again!

stopping the habit of busy. some of the meanest people i know describe themselves as "busy". i do not want to be that.

wanting to have a fun conversation with an adult - preferably one with a deep, masculine voice who enjoys football :) caden's crackly baritone is enjoyable, but a change might be nice ;)

needing to be a bit more patient with myself on so many levels.

wishing for healthy, active and engaged days ahead.

waiting is not something i'm very good at doing. but i am trying hard to be patient and use my time constructively :)

thinking of going away with claire in february for her reading week - someplace hot and quiet. now where should we go? ideas?

enjoying learning how to use my new pendulums. this is becoming a fascinating journey and i'm learning so much!

paying for too many years sitting at a desk. i've been moving and stretching but have to realize it took years to get this creaky. it's going to take some effort to make everything move like it should!

encouraging my kids to be calm as they prepare for their upcoming exams. breathe in - 2 - 3 - out - 2 - 3 and again. and again.

celebrating how uncomplicated our lives have become. wonderful.

cultivating a practice of self-care and meditation. daily. my priorities are shifting and it's a good thing.

marveling at how quickly time flies and how my kids are growing into lovely and thoughtful young adults with lives of their own.

anticipating a lot of hard decisions ahead. on the lighter side, what creative projects will i choose? #reverb14? one little word? still life photography? desire map for life? project life 2014? week in the life? revive 12 of 12? the biggest book club, ever? keep up with the blog? join the circle of fire?

and tada, a photo from my week:

 

real right now | letting go

Today is the traditional first day of school for just about everyone. My kids don't start classes until NEXT Monday - the 9th. I'm still reflecting and anticipating ...

Entering any new stage of parenting is a challenge. When these opportunitites for growth arrive, I often wonder if I'm up for it and feel like I muddle through rather than ease my way to the next stage.

This week I'm letting go in order for Claire to embrace her life.

Letting go means a fresh new start for my girl. New place. New people.

Letting go means driving to Kingston, Ontario, three hours away from home, a couple of days early so the sibs can be comfortable with Claire's new surroundings. Their approval and support is a key component to her comfort level.

Letting go means driving to Kingston, Ontario, three hours away from home, a couple of days early so Claire - my "anxiety" girl - can be comfortable with her new surroundings :)

Letting go means putting my boys on the VIA train so all of Claire's belongings could fit into the Suburban. It was a wonderful adventure for them!

Letting go means giving Claire a strict budget from now through Thanksgiving. Then through Christmas. Then through February reading week. Then through exams. Then we'll start all over again.

Letting go means someone else will have to be trained in the position of "shotgun". Claire rocks at "shotgun". I wonder who will be my new co-pilot? In this instance birth order counts for nothing!

Letting go means allowing for non-catastrophic mistakes to be made. Fingers crossed and notes to the Universe that any mistake made will build her character and create a firm foundation for learning. Fingers crossed and notes to the Universe that I remember that mistakes are to be expected!

Letting go means remembering frosh orientation week at University only happens once in a lifetime and it can be more fun than anything else up to this point in her life.

Letting go means worrying if she is eating okay, taking her medication/supplements, the condition of her eczema, her level of anxiety, her waking in time in the morning to make it to class on time, her making new friends, her enjoying classes and professors, her new sheets don't itch. Realizing and embracing that I have no control over any of it and she'll let me know if and when I can help.

Letting go means finally having the truck back to myself. Well, until I have to start teaching Cole who has just completed his DriveWise in-class course. His first in-car lesson is on this coming Thursday.

Letting go means I can curate and mail out some kick-ass awesome care packages.

Letting go means I have to learn Skype, SnapChat and FaceTime. Claire and I have just purchased identical mugs for soup and tea which will be part of the whole touch-base ritual. Now we just have to settle in and choose a regular time that will work in both of our schedules. I'm looking forward to hearing from her.

Letting go means it's time to have another baby - just not one in human form!

Letting go means I don't have to give voice my differing opinions. I am allowed to think whatever I want, but don't necessarily have to express my concerns. Breathe.

Letting go means I have to find someone else to go with me to Yame Sushi and Chapters.

Letting go means I am trusting that my girl has been raised well and knows how to make good choices. Good choices for her.

As a parent I don't often have opportunity for feedback since creating a full-fledged adult is years in the making. Even though she was in boarding last year, Claire was still with all of her siblings in a school less than a kilometre away from home. This year? THIS is my report card.

MORE important, this year is the time my girl will figure out who she is and who she wants to be. I'm so very proud of her and can't wait to hear all of her stories and discoveries! Well. Those she's willing to share ;)

hello monday | 82 (the off-to-university edition)

hello countdown. in only a few days a new chapter will start in all of our lives. claire is off to university. this is the first step toward the rest of her life and she is completely in charge. exactly where she likes to be! i can't wait to see where she goes from here.

hello kingston. such a great town. 300 kilometres east of oakville. i think this was the best choice for claire. she will love the next few years in her new home-away-from-home.

hello residence. not her first choice, but i've encouraged her to reserve judgement. after all, it's the people who make the experience, not the building.

hello shopping. you would think after a year of boarding there would be nothing "needed" for her room at university. oh how wrong can one mama be? very. the list is long!

hello packing. time to load up the truck for delivery to residence. a fridge, even a small one, takes up a lot of space!

hello new computer. mac or pc? mac or pc? eventually she settled on a little 13" macbook air. it's exactly what she needs - with 12 hours of battery power, too!

hello via rail student pass. the drive between kingston and toronto can be a grind. often resembling a parking lot more than the trans-canada highway. via rail to the rescue!

hello skype. i'm already looking forward to the first of many skype sessions. once she settles into a routine we'll pick a regular day and time.

hello excitement. as much as i'll miss her, i know this is going to be a wonderful experience. i'll do my level best to keep my tears to myself.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

pmm | claire is fierce

Last week was full around here. It was also very Claire-centric with her leaving class dinner, graduation and formal one day after the other.

On top of it all, she got through everything with a broken thumb and a smile.

The picture above was taken after she had been hit by a pitch at her game last Tuesday. Right after it happened, she was in a lot of pain but told her coach that she was tough and could handle it. She stayed in and ended up walking to 1st base. She then stole to 2nd base. At that point she realized there was something seriously wrong.

The poor thing took off her glove and her thumb was a bloody mess.

She came off the field and one of the mums took over - thanks Kathie - since I just couldn't handle it. Quickly Claire got wrapped up and I took her to our local hospital, after a quick stop home to pick up her medical card.

We took over the emergency waiting room: me, Claire, her cousin Taylor (who had only just arrived in town), her friend Michelle, her coach and his daughter. Claire was so embarrassed by all of the attention, a lot of people were worried about her - and showed up to support her.

I won't go into the gory details, but it was not pretty. Five hours and five stitches later, we were home, with pain killers and antibiotics, by 3AM.

In all that time, I don't think she was upset by anything other than the fact she is out of baseball for at least six weeks. Then it dawned on her that she was going to attend her leaving class dinner, graduation and formal! Melt down? Not my girl. She figured she'd bedazzle the bandage and not miss a minute.

The word "trooper" has been used in most of the notes we've received.

Yes, my girl is fierce. And she rocked the bandage at all of her events. At least at prom she had a broad back to hide it behind!

anticipation | baseball & softball season

Claire loves all things baseball and though she manages to suffer thorough the school softball season, she's excited to head back to Little League and play her preferred sport again this summer. Even after some hitting lessons at Field House Athletics, she has decided against trying out for the "Big League" Whitecaps Team with her friends. With her busy schedule she was afraid she could not commit - and she's probably right. There'll still be lots of "spare time" spent at one diamond or another volunteering at tournaments and events throughout the season - she really enjoys announcing, expecially the t-ball games.

Caden is going back to baseball, too. He's content to play house league and has little ambition or desire to play any more than his regular weekly practice, game and a few exhibition games. He's happy to have new cleats and a "magic" new bat that helps him hit to the fences! My boy is getting huge! I know he'll have fun over the summer expecially when he gets that bat working. He has played in an "evaluation game" and the season opened over the weekend with picture day and a win!

Chloé is always up to try new things and joined the local softball league - so anxious she had me sign her up during early registration in January. She's still interested and I'm happy for her to pick up a sport she can play her whole life :) There have been a couple of practices and she has enjoyed meeting the girls on her team. I am happy she'll be able to walk out our front door and across the street for a vast number of her games and practices. Even the extra hitting practices are held steps away from our home.Keep it simple ... I think she's going to love her summer!

Cole has opted out. At the end of last season he was willing to play baseball again, but as spring drew near he had second thoughts. Instead of a refund, we've elected to donate the registration fee to another player who might not otherwise have a chance to play - certainly one who wants to play more than mine! He won't be free completely since he'll be joining me on the sideline cheering on one sibling or another.

As for me, I have purchased a new lawn chair and cooler. I plan on being far better prepared this year than last - with mitts, blankets, sunscreen, icepacks, umbrellas and water in the truck at all times! I'm looking forward to cheering loudly and stay open to enjoy all of the experiences that present themselves.

Play Ball!

things we do | volleyball

Claire was a co-captain of the Varsity Volleyball Team at school last term. It is a sport she loves and I'm sure she'll find a way to continue to play in coming years - intermural at university, beach during the summers, technique classes with Pakmen.

There were only three returning players this season and the expectations were that it was a "building" team. All that being said, I think they did remarkably well and I enjoyed a number of very close and exciting games. Claire had dreams of OFSAA for her graduating year but it wasn't to be. She will have to settle for earning her school "colours" for her efforts. Some life lessons are harder than others.

Next term? Softball.

things we do | semi formal

A little while back both Claire and Cole went to the Semi Formal dinner and dance at their school. I love that they want to participate in the social events offered to the students. I love even more that they still want to attend even without dates. The lack of social pressure they put on themselves is really a testament to their confidence in themselves and I'm very proud of them both. Even moreso that they were willing to go together and supported each other.

This photo was taken as they left the house:

The other day the "official" photos were all uploaded! Both kids sent me their favourites:

Taking a look at some of the dresses I wonder what is considered formal! These ladies look so fancy and grown up.

Claire and her friend, Jess, were definitely having a great time!

THIS is an eclectic group. I love, love, love this photo.

Yeah. That's my kid - Mr. Photo Bomb. Goof.

He can't seem to help himself.

Fun for them! Where is Cole? Find the big group of girls and he'll be in the middle :)

All of the party photos were taken by http://www.streeterstevens.com.

Now? The search is on for the perfect prom dress. The fun never stops :)

places we go | barbados

Claire turned 17 on December 20th.

A few years ago I had promised her that we would go away and do something special for this 2012.2012 birthday. Even though our family circumstances have changed, there was no changing or modifying this promise! Last year we started looking at our options and Claire, who is always cold, chose Barbados as her destination to celebrate her birthday.

Along with Claire, we packed up Cole, Chloé, Caden along with friends Austin and Victoria. Yes, me and SIX kids on a "road trip" to Barbados for a few days before Christmas.

We got to Pearson for 6AM and the journey began!

Such a GREAT group of kids.

I love that the kids were always involved. Either with the entertainers at the resort - or participating in making their own entertainment. There was A LOT of singing!

For me, other than the constant sound of the ocean waves, the best part of the trip was eating breakfast every morning. I would head over to the restaurant with the two younger kids while the older kids were still fast asleep. It was lovely.

My boy Caden HATED the heat. It was about 30*C every day and Caden is really a cold weather boy. He spent a lot of time in the warm ocean and the cooler swimming pool. Many laps were swum to keep him in condition for the Appleby swim team.

My mermaid LOVED it. Hours were spent in the ocean. So wonderful to see that smile!

I'm sure the kids thought I was taking photos all the time, but really, I didn't capture enough group shots! Have I mentioned how great these kids were? Everyone made comments about how I must be crazy to be on "holiday" with all of the kids, but by the end everyone was commenting on fabulous they all were.

Lots of critters everywhere.

Getting ready to leave, we enjoyed our last lunch and the last rounds of rum punch (for me) and strawberry daqueris (virgin - kinda) for the kids!

Ready for another wild opposite-side-of-the-road trip. We were all relaxed and happy to have enjoyed a wonderful holiday. Christmas Eve had arrived and it was time to head home.

Hello Montréal? Yes. All plans aside, direct flight be damned, there was a mechanical issue and we ended up being redirected to deplane, clear customs, get luggage, get new boarding passes, go through security again and change planes. We landed in Toronto at exactly 11:58PM.

Merry Christmas!!

things we do | ear piercings

Third time is the charm?

Claire has had her ears pierced - twice. Each time something has happened and an earring came out and the hole sealed up really quickly. Chloé has never expressed an opinion one way or another so it never occured to me that she wanted her ears pierced.

Until a couple of weeks ago.

Claire called up to Way Cool Tattoos, knowing that they knew what they were doing, and made an appointment for both she and her sister. I thought I was going to simply drop them off. Not a chance! I had to arrive, with photo ID for all of us. Passports in hand, we signed documents and swore we were who we are.

This is serious stuff.

Then it was off to the back room. The girls (and I) received a lengthy explanation of the procedure as well as what is to be done to encourage healing: eat well, wash your hands often, dry completely, lots of really good information on organics and alternative healing therapies. LOVE that a guy covered in tattoos and questionable dental work was giving my girls the same talk they hear from me! The talk took about an hour, the actual piercing took about a half hour.

Then my girls, with their Swarofsky sparklers - pink and clear - were done.

Let's hope these "take"!

 

pmm | chapel speech

In their Senior Two year, those in Grade 12 who have something to say to their peers are given an opportunity to speak in Chapel. The process is simple: submit a concept and cross your fingers :) Cannon Lennox along with a few faculty members are the selection committee and they chose Claire's idea!

I am so incredibly proud of my girl.

The idea? WE ARE ENOUGH.

It's nice to know she's been paying attention. She managed to combine together ideas from Maya Angelou, Babe Ruth, One Direction and Brené Brown and gave a wonderful speech. Along with my children, her father, my nephew and my dad we sat in the Appleby Chapel and listened.

Shared with permission:

I believe I am enough. I believe that you are enough too, even if you may not think so. We all have our own unique gifts and characteristics that make us all good enough. In order to maintain a life of meaning and goodness, this concept of being enough is one of the key ingredients to creating a life of generosity and kindness. Part of kindness is acceptance and non-judgment.

This is my sixth year here at Appleby, and I have been the recipient of much generosity and kindness. I would like to be able to encourage the same for every person within our Appleby community. Everyone should be made to feel like they belong.

Why? Simple. Because we are all enough.

Good morning faculty, fellow students, and most importantly, my family. I’m here to tell you my thoughts on acceptance and why we are all enough.

It’s funny. I have been thinking about this moment since I attended my very first Chapel Speech given by our Middle School Prefect, Veronica, back when I was in Middle One. I’ve thought about whether I’m going to need the block to stand on, who would be here to listen, whether my hymn would be Draw the Circle Wide or not, and if I’d be able to think about something worth-while to talk to you all about. Standing here before you all means a lot to me and I am excited to say that I believe that this topic that I have been building upon for six years is definitely worthwhile. I hope you think so too.

Accepting others is a huge part of living a life of goodness. A life of kindness.

So many people have gone through things that most of us cannot even begin to fathom happening to ourselves. Scottish author and faithful theologian, Ian Maclaren once said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” The more in life I experience, the wiser and more inspiring these words become.

Sometimes I witness such cruelty and mean-spiritedness that I have to stop and wonder what creates that kind of anger in the person inflicting this pain.

I have come to realize that they may not believe that they are enough, but the fact is that we are all enough.

“Live your life like everything you do will be printed on the front page of the Oakville Beaver.” For those of you who may not know, the Oakville Beaver is our local newspaper. My mum always said this to my siblings and me as a way of teaching us to be aware of our words and actions and how they affect people. Next time you express a falsehood or make fun of someone for anything from their personal likes and dislikes to their sexuality/race, and everything in between, would you reconsider if you knew your words or actions would be emblazoned on the front page of your local paper?

A friend of mine once told me that it’s so much more effort to be mean than to be nice, so why be mean? Why be cruel to others, especially if they don’t deserve it? The affect that cruelty has applies to two people: the victim and the offender, and the effects are long-term. The sadness and guilt builds up inside us and puts an enormous amount of weight on our shoulders.

Some of you may be laughing to yourselves right now or giggling with the person next to you because you know very well that I have had my fair share of judgmental words and have been mean spirited at times. Through those experiences, I have learned that all of that cruelty and meanness stems from a place of extreme belief that I am not good enough.

I am no saint and I am not here to lecture you all about the things you have done wrong.

I’m here to empathize and say that I’ve been through that too. Empathy, that’s another good thing to do when accepting others. When someone you know is struggling, try to think of some way that you can go to them and say “Me too."

Dr. Maya Angelou is an accomplished American author, poet, playwright, civil rights activist, and has over thirty honourary doctorates. She is one of the most fascinating and influential people of our time, in my opinion, and I was fortunate enough to be a member of the audience at her lecture in Minneapolis, Minnesota earlier in October.

One of the main concepts she talked about was that of Rainbows and Clouds.

You have a choice.

You can be a big, dark cloud like the one that follows Eeyore around all the time, making him and everyone else miserable, or you can be a light and fabulous rainbow of kindness and acceptance, bringing joy and hope to everyone who sees you. Err on kindness and bring lightness into people’s lives because light will last forever, but the darkness will not. Even in the dreariest of times, if there’s a rainbow in the clouds, there is hope, and each one of us has the opportunity to be a rainbow in someone’s clouds. You also have to realize that you have rainbows in your own clouds that will help you get through any storm.

Even an unfortunate donkey like Eeyore has rainbows in his clouds, just like you and me.

A couple weeks ago, after I was accepted to make this speech, I was going through some things that made me feel like a disappointment to myself and to my family. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t enough, that I would never be enough.

That was hard.

It’s so easy to slip into the mindset of thinking that you’re not enough; that you’re just okay. I began telling myself and believing something very important, and I want you all to believe it too: “You’re not just okay, you are FINE.” That’s another one of the many things that Dr. Angelou taught us. Every once in a while, when you’re feeling down, I want you to say that to yourself. “You’re not just okay, you are fine.” As in “mighty fine”, with a bit of swagger.

We are all human. We each have our own personal flaws and strengths, our own imperfections and successes, but those are what make us who we are. The parts of you that make you human are the same parts that make you enough. This includes being vulnerable. Brené Brown, a shame researcher and best-selling author said in one of her TED Talks that “vulnerability is not weakness”; that “vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.”

In the same talk, she says “There is nothing more daring than showing up, putting ourselves out there, and letting ourselves be seen.” The connection between this and courage is clear – if you’re willing to let everyone see you for everything that you are and make yourself vulnerable, that is the most courageous thing you can do. The key to happiness and living a life of goodness is to stop striving to be perfect, just embrace that you are enough. One Direction says it best, “Being the way you are is enough.”

Most of you who know me also know that I am in love with sports - namely the amazing game of baseball. I’ve been playing since I was 5 years old, starting with softball but getting tired of it and switching to hard ball, and eventually gained enough talent and experience to play with Team Ontario for two years. After learning a lot more about the history of the sport and continuous viewing of The Sandlot, my favourite baseball movie of all time, I began to idolize a great major league player named Babe Ruth. He played in the major leagues for 22 years and set records for home runs, RBIs and slugging percentage, for strikes and strike outs and was among the first few players to be honoured in the National Baseball Hall of Fame. I wanted to be just like him and totally dominate the major leagues, despite my gender. I completely believed I could, too. I believed that someday, I would be good enough to play on the Boston Red Sox. The first female Major Leaguer ever. Now my goals are set more realistically. I’ll start with a university team and see where that takes me.

Regardless, Babe Ruth also said one thing that really resonated with me: “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” This may be a baseball quote, but it can be applied to anything. When I first thought of what to write for this speech, I immediately thought of this quote, but with my own interpretations.

What I thought was to never let the fear of not being good enough keep you from being yourself, because you are good enough in everything you do, and don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. 

Believing this is not an easy practise and to accomplish it does require regular practice, but just keep telling yourself that you are enough and you will believe it. Dr. Brené Brown once said “I now see how owning our story, and loving ourselves through that process, is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”

So, from me to you, let me end by saying:

Be kind. Be vulnerable. Be yourself, and love yourself because you are enough. We are all enough.

Now would you all please stand and sing hymn 572 – Let There Be Light

Wow.

THAT was amazing. My Claire, at sixteen, is amazing. Look out world, here she comes, and she is more than enough.

If you're interested in hearing the speech, it has been posted on You Tube - you'll want to start at 3:50.

things we do | inspiration in minneapolis

Often our family field trips come as a result of a question posed by one of the kids. In this case, Claire said "Maya, who?" Evidence that I had clearly failed as a mum or Oprah went off air too soon!

Sometime in late September we were having a typical family conversation about everything and nothing. We tend to all talk at the same time which is sometimes confusing, but more often it is amusing and filled with information. During one of those crazy cross-talk sessions it was revealed to me that Claire did not know who Maya Angelou is ... huh? I was flabbergasted. THIS must be rectified!

I knew Dr. Angelou was still speaking but her schedule was limited. After all, the American national treasure, is 84 and goes to all of her engagements via bus. I was not deterred. Claire offered a challenge and I was going to find where this brilliant woman was speaking and go listen!

It turns out the closest venue in the near future was Minneapolis! I had to get tickets. Then it occured to me that I have a virtual friend, with a daughter about Claire's age, who might be interested in attending. Should this woman prove be the same as the woman I've come to know on her blog and in her classes (we all know a public persona can differ from that shown publicly) I was sure she'd at least be happy to go to the show. Much to my delight, Cathy Zielske and her daughter, Aidan, agreed to join us!

This was shaping up to be a real adventure.

Then Claire didn't want to go. This year she's in boarding and in her final year of high school. LOTS of pressure to perform. She didn't want to spare the day - and it would be a full day. I promised her it would be worth it and if it wasn't she could hold it against me forever :)

Well, great news: it was worth it!

Everything was gathered up for our big adventure: passports, itinerary, event tickets, wallet. All set!

We left a foggy and miserable Toronto Pearson and arrived in a drizzly day in Minneapolis-St. Paul. It turns out that Claire got my poor travel gene and we were both a bit woozie when we arrived. Then there was the crazy cab ride to the hotel. The $40 bill didn't help much!

She spied the Saks Fifth Avenue Outlet upon our arrival. Not deterred by being in a busy city core, she headed over to check it out. (My kids seem to thrive on the energy found only in big urban centres, the complete opposite of our sleepy, suburban environment.) I had to laugh at her text: "Outlet? With these prices this is no outlet." That's my girl!

 Time to get ready!

Yes, I'm starting to take more photos of myself. Proof I was here! Then, with tickets and camera, we headed down to the lobby to meet Cathy and Aidan. So exiting! It was a quick walk to dinner at Bucca di Beppo Restaurant.

Aren't they gorgeous? The girls are only a few months apart in age and they had a ton in common. It was so nice to have Claire open up, with her defences put on pause for the evening. (Like many people, she can get very nervous meeting new people and she tends to be a bit prickly until you get to know her). With Aidan being a vegetarian and Claire not getting any "good" pasta in residence it was the perfect restaurant choice. The food was AMAZING. I loved that it was all served "family style" and wish there were something similar here - outside my own kitchen :)

Then we were off to the big event!

Extraordinary. The courage of kindness and the gift of rainbows will be something that stays with me forever. I had said to a friend on facebook that I would love to be like Maya Angelou when I grow up but I don't think I'm brave enough to endure the struggles she's had to endure in order to become the woman she is now. The stories were amazing. Her voice and tone was like a big hug, so engaging. What a tremendous evening!

I know that you can hear many recordings on YouTube and other internet sites, but being there was what it was all about. The audience was mesmerized and we spent a lot of time clapping, laughing and we were happy to give her a well deserved standing ovation upon her arrival and at the end of her inspiring talk.

Many thanks to Cathy and Aidan for sharing this special evening with us!

A bit of after-event conversation. Claire had a few questions that had never occurred to me to explain before we went to the talk. The Black-American experience is something quite foreign to my daughter and not something we in Canada are exposed to with our own "minorities". We just don't share the same history of slavery and oppression. In fact, the town we live in was one of the final destinations of the Underground Railroad, something I wish we celebrated. I think it would be a good idea to explore the history more - if for no other reason than to understand the divisiveness and rhetoric of our closest neighbours and largest trading partner. I'm so glad attending the talk lead to a great conversation and a lot of thoughtful questions!

Happy that the one-hour time change got her some extra sleep!

From my years in a hockey rink I became a fan of mixing too sweet hot chocolate with burnt coffee. It makes a pretty decent mocha. I have to say, THIS morning mocha in the airport was AMAZING.

We had some time once we cleared security so Claire quickly moved on to another priority - Halloween costumes! And with that our Minneapolis adventure came to an end!

I wonder what will be next?

challenge | big question 2

At the end of August, to celebrate the launch of her new virtual home, Tiffany Moore asked a number of her favourite bloggers to answer some BIG questions. I have been looking for a challenge and decided to take a stab at this particular exercise.

* * * * *

What is most sacred to you?

My relationship with my children.

This was the first thing that entered my head when I read the question. Then I checked out dictionary.com and their defininition: "worthy of or regarded with reverence, awe, or respect" confirmed it.

The only thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a good mother. I believe that is often the case for those of us raised by a not-so-good mother. Coming from such a negative experience, the last thing I would ever wish upon my children would be the same sense of abandonment or cruelty I experienced as a child.

I am raising them, alone, with as much love, support, common sense, consistency, patience, respect and boundaries as I can manage. In return they provide me with constant challenge, laughter, questions, energy, frustration and concern. I wouldn't change anything for the world. Our relationships are all different and complex and sacred. I am forever blessed to have them in my life.

They, all four of them, are worthy of my reverence, awe and respect.

Go see what Carolyn Rubenstein had to say when she was posed this question.

hello monday | 36

a little bit of mac happy around here!

hello blog. so sorry you've been neglected. good things are in the works!

hello lazy time. no more math class. no more camps.

hello olympics. love! that opening was great.

hello b12 shot. thinking it should be taken in iv form.

hello autumn plans. seriously! summer is flying by too quickly.

hello techy immersion. lots of purging and file consolidation happening.

hello (again) sauvignon blanc. you've been missed.

hello rain. august is our wettest of months.

hello wet ceiling. ugh. this is not a good sign.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week.
i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

 

Dragonboat Festival 2012

There have been a number of lovely experiences over the years, as part of the larger Appleby community a highlight has to be our time participating on the Dragonboat teams. Claire started as a member way back when she was just a little fresh-faced kid in Middle One. This season she's been joined by her not-so-fresh-faced brother, Cole. The team is made up of students, alumni and faculty with ages ranging from 14 through over 50. It is such a fun, kind, enthusiastic and inclusive group. Me? I take photos, so far. It has been a joy to watch my kids broaden the circle of people in their lives and watch them be so welcome.

After weeks of training each Sunday morning, the day had finally come for the Festival! We arrived at the Don Rowing Club in Port Credit early, by 7:45AM, which was not early enough to get a parking spot - well, not one close! I walked back to be there for the first race, after all, our two teams were going head-to-head. It was the only race that would matter ... unless they made it into the finals together :)

(Above) Claire heads to her boat with members of the OnFire team.

(Below) Cole heads to his boat with members of the H2O Tested team.

Siblings are separated to take advantage of their competitive natures. Shrewd decision!

(Above) Rich steers his team (with Cole) to the start.

(Below) Sheila makes sure everyone is sitting straight and paddles up! I love the broad smile on Claire's face. Testament to her joy!

H2O Tested wins by a dragon's head!

Between heats, time is spent socializing and studying.

In the end, Cole and his H2O Tested crew won Bronze in the A final; Claire and her OnFire crew won Gold in the B final. A pretty good day, I'd say!

A welcome break from the grind of exam study - but now they're back in the thick of it all.

Let's Play Ball

She got her way. She's playing "real" ball, with the boys.

This past weekend found us in Brampton for a tournament. It was cold, it was rainy and it was oh so windy. Nothing could remove the smile from her face.

She hit:

She pitched:

She distracted:

She smiled.

A lot.

And there is a lot to smile about! She's on not just one but two teams and the boys treat her well. She's earned their respect as a player and it has been a wonderful experience - for both the boys and the girl.

Life is good.

Play ball!

A Week In The Life 2012 | A Success

Starting a project like A Week In the Life while on the road is not ideal, though it definitely focuses the effort and simplifies the approach! I thought I'd share a peek at my week with a "photo of the day" - only a hint of what my day looked like through the week.

MONDAY, APRIL 23
Location: Tucson, AZ
Hilight: LOVE the underwater treadmill at Canyon Ranch

TUESDAY, APRIL 24
Location: Tucson, AZ
Hilight: Oatmeal Bruleé, Chicken Sausage and Kefir - perfect start

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25
Location: En Route from Tucson, AZ to Oakville, ON via Denver, CO
Hilight: Last morning, capturing my surroundings

THURSDAY, APRIL 26
Location: Oakville, ON
Hilight: Home just in time for "dress down" day at school

FRIDAY, APRIL 27
Location: Oakville, ON
Hilight: The boys enjoyed Camp Lee for their (surprise to me) PA Day

SATURDAY, APRIL 28
Location: Oakville, ON
Hilight: Claire on stage in RENT

SUNDAY, APRIL 29
Location: Oakville, ON
Hilight: Morning dragonboat meeting and practice

The plan? Simple.

Simple Fonts.

Simple Templates.

Simple Process.

I will be combining our collective stories of our week and putting it all together into a 12x12 digital book! I'm very excited about this and am anxious to show the final results ... once they're organized and ready to be shown.

What about you? Did you participate in A Week in the Life this year? Let me see what you created!

I hope to be able to show you how the whole project is coming along soon, but as you can imagine, life is full and it may take some time to get it all together. As far as projects come and go, this one is worth the effort, and I will get it done :)

PMM | Never Too Late

One thing about my girl, she loves a challenge!

Ten years ago, when she was six, I encouraged her to go to a little neighbourhood dance program. That idea was met with absolute and loud refusal. She might look all sweet and frothy, but she's one determined chick.

And that's a good thing since ten years later she's decided she wants to dance.

She and her Contemporary Dance group entered into a Kiwanis Dance Festival in Richmond Hill and won a Gold. They were thrilled!

I personally think she's just a fan of the false eyelashes and BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK!

It was so nice of her friend Austin - a real dancer - to come all the way from his own dance class in Etobicoke (45 minutes away) to offer his support for her effort. Claire really was very good and it didn't show at all that this was her very first year.

So we'll sign her up for a second year.

As always, I am so very proud.

Returning to ME

I used to have as many dreams as there are stars in the sky.

I've had some thoughts swirling through my head for a while about my journey of the past couple of years. The place I was, where I am now and where I hope to go in the future. To be honest, it's the dream - plans for the future - part I struggle with, not the dealing with the here-and-now. I live a very goal-oriented life, filled with short-term, practical, goals.

I read Jenny's article and realized that I too, over the course of this journey, have lost part of my identity, a significant part of it. I have been so busy being mum to my four kids and wife to someone who didn't want to be married that I got lost somewhere in the crazy of it all. One line in Jenny's article stood out to me: "I had to sit down and remind myself what I liked and what excited me that wasn’t related to Jeff or the kids."

Being so firmly grounded in the needs of my family, I have lost touch with my myself. I have lost touch with my dreams. Bits are coming back and I'm in the middle of mulling those ideas and putting a pretty ambitious (though far more limited than Jenny's!) list together.

In the meantime, I don't want my kids to lose sight of their dreams. As I've learned first-hand, it is so easy to do while dealing with the demands of every day. I wish I had a list of my dreams when I was a teen, even when I was in my mid-20s. I really can't, for the life of me, remember what I wanted to do before my life became what it is today. Following Jenny's lead, I've asked my kids what their dreams are for the future. This is what they provided me:

CLAIRE:

1. Meet at least two of my favourite bands.
2. Travel around Europe. All of it.
3. Learn guitar.
4. Graduate and get into some great universities (e.g. Acadia, Laurier, Guelph, Waterloo, even UBC)
5. Meet some of my favourite authors, such as John Green, Cassandra Clare, Suzanne Collins, etc.
6. Fall in love, get married and make sure it lasts a long time. (What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic!)

COLE:

1. Travel the world
2. Bungee jump
3. Go to space
4. Get good enough at singing/acting that I can make a profit out of it, big or small doesn’t matter
5. Get a university degree

CHLOE:

1. Audition for a Broadway musical
2. Travel the World
3. Go whale watching in Hawaii or Australia
4. Spend a day baking
5. Learn to play the drums

CADEN:

1. Make the best video game ever :)
2. Get paid to make YouTube videos
3. Have a Guinness world record
4. Travel the world
5. Have 2 cats, 1 dog, and 3 guinea pigs(When I have my own house)

I often laugh to my friends that my children are "four points on a compass" but these lists confirm it! I find it pretty interesting to read that they all want to travel the world (and beyond) - and what they'd like to do. I have a vague recollection of similar ideas.

I'm inspired.

ME:

1. Get off Auto
2. Have my home be exactly what I want it to be, every inch of it
3. Sing, again
4. Travel the world (the part without wars - or highly contageous disease)
5. Lose all of the weight (then get it tucked)

I know, still a bit too goal-oriented rather than dream-oriented, but it is still a stretch for me at the moment.

[A note to Jenny: I have to thank you for your honesty and creativity. You give me the courage to be more true to myself and permission to tackle topics, openly, from which I might naturally shy away. Now I won't. Your blog resonates within me, every day.]

Return of Routine | Part 2

Delayed Post: I couldn't find the back-to-school photo!
Originally intended to post on Monday, September 12.

. . .

Caden has now had a week of school under his belt and he's loving it - having the same teacher as last year has really made it an easy transition in a time when nothing is easy. I am grateful.

It is now turn for the rest of the kids to head back!

CLAIRE is entering Senior 1 (Grade 11) and she is looking forward to a busy year. Her schedule has changed a few times with the flip flop between taking or not taking Physics. We decided three science courses would be too much and she's now settled on taking Drama instead. I think that is a good choice. She has gone back to the original plan to take kinesiology at University and that's how she chose her classes. Mid-term update: French was dropped and Media English is being studied instead. There is a plan to take French over the summer. We'll see how that goes! Claire seems to have settled in and is far more comfortable in the environment than she has been in a long time. She chose to be in music - singing in Appleby Rocks - for her first term elective and she was fantastic! Now she spends her weekends studying and practicing for the upcoming varsity volleyball season.

COLE is entering Upper 1 (Grade 9) and he is looking forward to his first year in high school. He doesn't have a lot of choice in his courses but he did make on interesting choice in his language elective: Mandarin. Um, okay. He never makes anything easy on himself. As of today the plan is to focus on engineering, though no one knows what discipline. No doubt that will change a few times in the next couple of years. Mid-term update: Cole is involved in two of the choirs and has just auditioned for the school play: Grease. Just today I received his first test mark for Mandarin ... 93%. He did manage to get hypothermia while in Temagami and within 24-hours decided to run instead of walk, the 21K walkathon, with no preparation. Sigh. I think this will be an interesting year for Cole as he figures out where he wants to fit in and the areas he wants to focus on.

CHLOE is starting her first year, Middle 1 (Grade 7) and she seems to be looking forward to this, her first day in a new environment. A uniform (she gets her tie at a ceremony today), a cafeteria - with hot meals, e-school (classes on computer), early starts and late days, 70+ new kids to get to know ... there will be a ton of adjustment. Chloé is a smart and engaging girl and I'm sure she'll find a great group of kids to hang out with. I know Claire and Cole will look out for her! Mid-term update: Chloé is settling into the long days and new routine with very little upset. She has a great group of friends and is very supportive of them and their endeavours. She played on the middle school basketball team and managed to walk the whole walkathon - in about four hours! The new community seems to suit my girl perfectly and I know she will thrive.

This is the first time in a long time, two years, I've had three kids in one school. Our mornings will prove busy as the olders head to school for first class at 8AM, Caden's first class is 8:45AM and I want to walk or swim every morning before my day starts. I'm also scheduled to volunteer at both schools which is a nice, and unexpected, change.

So though we are returning to routine in our days, our days have changed with new challenges and adventures ahead. I know the kids are looking forward to it, and so am I.

Digi Distraction

Last week, I was cleaning up my desktop and ran across a Word Document with some interviews I had conducted with my kids at the end of last summer. They were so fun I didn't want to just file them away, they had to be saved right away and not forgotten ... again! I went through my templates and couldn't find anything I wanted for this specific purpose, but I did find a perfect template from Cathy Zielske's Design Your Life course I had taken a couple of years ago at Big Picture Classes:

MATERIALS: Template: Cathy Zielske; Papers: Ali Edwards Transitions; Embellishments: Karla Dudley Digi Essentials 2, Digi-Stash; Fonts: Verdana, American Typewriter

I was so glad to get this little bit of our "life in 2011" recorded for posterity! Then I resumed my template search and headed over to Designer Digitals to find the perfect template for the interviews at hand. Now, if you've ever been over to Designer Digitals you'll know how distracting it can be! I got more than a little off course. Sigh. No suprise, I found it - and a few others!

Evidence:

MATERIALS: Template: XX Things Template (Cathy Zielske); Papers: For Humanity Kit: Japan (Girls); dy-springbreeze-pp2 (aka unknown stash) (Boys); Fonts: Arial, Amelie, American Typewriter

It was so much fun to go back and look at the photos taken last summer - so many stories! Reading the little interviews and noticing all of the subtle and bigger changes in my kids in a few short months. It is days like this, putting memories together in the form of stories, in this case, an interview in the words of my kids, that remind me why I love this hobby which is so much more than a simple past-time.

Jungian Personalities

About a year ago, I went through a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test to find out what it would reveal about me. More specifically, I was in a place of discomfort and misdirection and needed to get myself back on track. I found it fascinating - the test and the results. I was recently reading about Carl Jung for something else and stumbled on another version of the same test. This time I took it and, not surprising, I got the exact same results.

[source]

I am ISTJ (Introverted sensing with thinking): These are dependable pillars of strength. They often try to reform their mates and other people. They make good bank examiners, auditors, accountants, tax examiners, supervisors in libraries and hospitals, business, home ec., and phys. ed. teachers, and boy or girl scouts!

I have to say I was a bit disappointed to have nothing "creative" on my list, it all looks a bit dry and boring, but I have to say, the people who make me laugh the most are accountants. I know, weird! And, at the moment, I'm feeling far more like an ancient and crumbly pillar! I've been taking this, and similar tests, for over a decade, at least I'm consistent. I don't remember ever receiving a different result.

Then I was curious and sent the test to my older kids. I know they do not yet have fully formed personalities, but I really can't see them changing in any fundamental way:

Claire is both ENFP and INFP (I'm sure the I and E will get sorted out over time).

ENFP (Extroverted intuiting with feeling): These people love novelty and surprises. They are big on emotions and expression. They are susceptible to muscle tension and tend to be hyperalert. they tend to feel self-conscious. They are good at sales, advertising, politics, and acting.

INFP (Introverted feeling with intuiting): These people are idealistic, self-sacrificing, and somewhat cool or reserved. They are very family and home oriented, but don't relax well. You find them in psychology, architecture, and religion, but never in business.

Her response: "I like that one (INFP)! I’m just a combo of both then! :D I’m awesome."

Yes, yes you are, Claire.

Cole is a conundrum! The only area in which he is overwhelming anything is INTROVERT which may be surprising to those who don't know him well. As far as I can tell, as his mama, he is one of either:

INTJ (Introverted intuiting with thinking): These are the most independent of all types. They love logic and ideas and are drawn to scientific research. They can be rather single-minded, though.

INTP (Introverted thinking with intuiting): Faithful, preoccupied, and forgetful, these are the bookworms. They tend to be very precise in their use of language. They are good at logic and math and make good philosophers and theoretical scientists, but not writers or salespeople.

I find the study of people really fascinating - which is part of my journey into the Jung research. Early in the research process last week I ran across this article which lead me to this test.

Have you taken the test or something similar? What are you? Any surprises?

Family Day: Amazing Layouts

Last week I immersed myself in many digi projects. Most taking the form of selecting, purging and organizing what is left to do in iPhoto that I didn't get to during my Digital Detox. To give myself a break, I made a few layouts and finished up Claire and Caden's - on Family Day. The irony? My kids were busy elsewhere!

I enjoyed making the conversations layouts earlier, here, here and here - where my kids answered questions about themselves. These "amazing" layouts give me a chance to offer observations I've made about each of my kids - recently. This is a great project to slip into their scrapbooks (when I get them back from the printer once I find/decide where to send them - 8 1/2 x 11 is not a normal size in these parts!). Years ago I got bogged down with making four similar yet different layouts for each of the kids to include in their books and stopped due to utter ovewhelm. I think I may just have twigged on the thing that will make their books a bit more complete!

I enjoy Cathy Zielske's layered templates and will make more, for sure. I have, of course, downloaded a bunch of other templates and I've spent some time trying to manipulate those I already have to make them more functional in other projects. I'm stuck on a few things, but that's part of the fun. The fear is almost all gone - whoot! The intimidation and not wanting my layouts to look like CZs is almost all gone too. I love her work and it is distinctly her work - I think I've found a way to incorporate the best that is CZ with what I consider to be the best of me.

A lot of my new found comfort is the discovery of digi-paper I like. I'm thrilled to have discovered Michelle Martin over at Designer Digitals as she has some lovely papers; as well as Ashalee Wall at Design Pink Ink with her gorgeous paper collections. I'm far more a photo + story + paper scrapbooker than I am a bling and dimension scrapbooker - even digitally, so it was a thrill to find simple and sophisticated patterns and colours.

The only thing left to conquer are brushes and overlays. Working on it!

More conversations ...

I keep finding more wonderful things about digi-scrapping. The next virtue discovered (or confirmed) yesterday is the ease in the parental quest of "fair". With four kids it's often easy to get caught up in the activities of one or once one project is done move onto the next and have one or more pages for one kid and zero for the rest. I was able to make two more pages, based on the Cathy Zielske template, like the one I made about Caden yesterday, one each for the girls:

MATERIALS: Template: CZ Designs Story Guide Layered Template No. 1 (Designer Digitals); Printed Paper: Ashalee Wall Between Us (Digital Pink Ink); Font: Myriad Pro

MATERIALS: Template: CZ Designs Story Guide Layered Template No. 1 (Designer Digitals); Printed Paper: Poorly Labelled Stash SG_Dec2007_1_Paper; Font: Myriad Pro

I have one in the works for Cole which I'll complete when I interview him upon his return on Friday. Right now I've got the colours chosen - red, of course, and put in my own answers to the questions. I'm curious to see how close I am to the real answers!

I've enjoyed the process of the interviews and learning more things about my children. Not only that, but the process has been fascinating - the questions that frustrate them, the questions they find easy or too hard - how can favourite food be too hard? They've also chosen their own paper and colours to reflect their current favourite.

I've learned that since I file almost 100% of my creative stash (digi and traditional) by colour, the labels are lost intranslation when stored in iPhoto. Must remedy that if I'm going to continue on this digi adventure! I've also figured out some short cuts and fun stuff on PSE which is becoming less and less intimidating every time I use it. I'm still stuck on a few things, but I'm sure to get it all worked out.

At least now I can say I'm enjoying the journey!

Happiness Captured :: Week 07

Again Jill and I are capturing our happiness moments through the lens and sharing ...

Jill :: In honor of Valentine's Day and the love in my life. The magnitude of just one little word amazes me.

Me :: I never thought I'd see the day my daughter would choose to spend a Saturday afternoon reading. The hours spent arguing, cajoling and encouraging! It makes my heart sing to watch her flip through the pages and the watch the stack of "read" books pile high.

Where did you capture happiness this week?

the simple things | 10

glow

it has been dingy and gray around here for what feels like weeks on end. we were given about a half hour of sunlight, just before dusk, as dinner was being planned, and didn't have the heart to complain that it was shining in my eyes. my lovely claire went over to the window to block it for me and it was then i realized how she glowed in the light.

the most beautiful part? not only was it a play on light, but glow is part of her generous teenage personality, most of the time. for that i am always grateful.

A baby no more ...

but always my first baby!

My Claire has turned 15. She has been impatiently waiting for this day for the better part of six months and I've heard many times how terrible it is to have a birthday at the end of the year.

Claire is spirited, outspoken, opinionated, kind, and fun to be around. Evidence of her personality:

No cake for my girl, no way. It's all abou the apple pie!

Love her spirit and independence. It might just kill me, but I admire it just the same.

Here's to the next 15 years!

the simple things | 05

gesture

claire is always finding something to learn: photography, writing, drawing and now it is sewing. though, i don't think when she signed up for the theatre costuming club at school that it would result in her putting a patch on her baby brother's hockey jersey, but she offered in order to get some "practice". it is the simple gestures my children make toward each other that make me so happy! what can beat curiosity, talent and kindness? nothing. that's my girl :)

That's All Folks!

For the last six weeks, Claire and a group of fellow students at school have been working hard on the Upper School Play. This is not a high-profile event and I was impressed that these kids chose this activity as it is not as popular - or prestigeous - as the whole school performance at the end of the year. As it was explained to me, there is not much turnout for this play because it is not a musical. This theory may also answer why most of the actors were boys :)

This term, Claire and her best friend, Marley, joined a bunch of their guy buddies, and not deterred by their small number, they put on a FANTASTIC performance.

(I have to admit, I was dreading the idea of sitting through yet another school production. The lesson learned: If nothing else, kids growing up means the school productions improve. A lot.)

Combining their efforts, over the past while, they all colaborated to write and perform what was, in essence, three sketches. Three sketches at 15-minutes each. Forty-five minutes of adolescent brilliance. I was so impressed by each and every one of them. Talking with the parents after, we were all taken with the fact that none of them, not one, broke character once. Not even a little. Very impressive for a group of 14 and 15 year old kids. None of whom do this performing thing for anything but fun.

Full story: When we realized the date of the performances conflicted with the "big tournament", Claire told me to go to Chicago, to Cole's hockey tournament, and not watch her perform. She was quite insistent. So much so, I had organized care for her and for the youngers. I am so glad I honoured my instinct and ignored her. I think she's glad too.

Earlier in the day, over dinner, I was sitting with the youngers waiting for the game tweets. One of the first ones through:

Though it was a losing effort, the Rangers lost to the Russians by a score of 4-2, it turns out both of my kids had good days.

I often marvel at the audacity of all of them. All four of my kids are completely unphased by doing what they want to do. I'm so very proud of them. I'm especially inspired when they do things that I would never consider even attempting.

After all, I'm lazy. I don't want to have to look too far for my inspiration :)

Wellness Wednesday: Source of Discomfort

or evil. It all depends on your perspective.

[WARNING: This post may have TMI for some]

I have never had a finicky stomach, in actual fact, I can pretty much eat anything and not have it bother me. After years of boarding school, university and my first few years of enduring my own cooking, that was a good thing!

Those days are gone.

Over the past five weeks I've been having terrible pains: up-all-night, writhing-and-retching, almost-as-bad-as-childbirth pain which required me to pass out to sleep. I know I could have, and probably should have, gone to the doctor but I'm a bit stubborn and I was determined to find the cause myself. (It turns out, I did exactly what my doctor would have told me to do anyway - process of elimination).

The source of my pain:

Marble cheese. The reality? All cheese.

I have to say this makes me terribly sad. Now that I've read everything there is to read on cheese allergies, it may be the answer to a number of my recent health issues. Only time will tell. I will miss my Oka and my Brie, but I may welcome more comfort and less bloat. Fingers crossed!

So to all of you who have enquired as to my health (especially over on Facebook where I've been whining the most), thank you! I think I finally have it figured out. I appreciate your notes, your advice and your encouragement.

* * * * *

On another topic entirely, in answer to my plea posed on my September in Review, the lovely Becky from San Diego sent me a note suggesting I pick up some Emu Oil. Huh?

So I did.

So far it's working. And a bonus for me is that it is working on clearing up my psoriasis, too. (I know, we're a collection of medical annoyances!) I've also picked up some aqueaous cream suggested by Amy. Some how we'll manage to get this beat. My poor girl can't even sleep with the pain of it all. In case you are not aware: teenagers who do not get sleep are CRANKY.

* * * * *

I'm taking some advice from a girlfriend (thanks, Elaine) based on a lunch conversation we had a couple of weeks back. The fact is, over the last six months or more I've been doing a lot of healthy eating and healthy exercise and still not losing any weight. In actual fact, I have been gaining. My only indulgence - cheese - has recently been eliminated! I've endured a number of tests (thyroid) and though the tests all come out "normal" I continue to wonder.

Some years back I switched to Kosher and Sea salt in my kitchen. I don't add salt to my food and my girlfriend pointed out that there's a pretty good chance that my iodine levels are bad and that would effect my thyroid.

Hmm.

Now, admittedly, neither of us have vast medical knowlege; but I'm thinking this might be an avenue to pursue. Who knows.

* * * * *

So there ends the summary of my current battles! If you know or can further my knowlege of cheese allergies, eczema/psoriasis or benefits of iodine in any way, let me know!

Cole channels Brando

I found it shocking when I was folding laundry and Claire asked, in an innocent inquisitive voice, "where did Cole get the wife-beater shirt?" WHAT? As it turns out, that is the accepted vernacular for a sleeveless undershirt - you know, the kind made famous in the mid-40s, or when Marlon Brando made Stanley Kowalski's character in the brilliant Tennessee William's A Streetcar Named Desire, famous.

Famous to me, and maybe to you.

Cole was clueless.

Which really bothered me.

I am failing my children, at least cinematically. I remember spending many a Saturday watching old black and white movies on television. Do you remember Elwy Yost? He certainly provided context with stories of what was going on in the world at the time the movie was filmed, what the studios were doing to drive the casting, all of the backstory for all the movies. It really drove my early interest. I wish there were shows like that on television for my kids.

Anyway ...

Then I remembered, I first saw Marlon Brando as the creepy colonel in Apocalypse Now, he was not someone I was interested in getting to know. He was old ... and creepy. Then, a little while later I realized that this same person was Stanley Kowalski and Terry Malloy in On The Waterfront, for which he won an Academy Award. It's all in the context.

So, I've rented for Cole three great movies to watch: A Streetcar Named Desire; On The Waterfront and Guys and Dolls in which Brando played Sky Masterson. I will have to be Elwy Yost for my kids :)

And, because no entry is complete without a photo, here is proof of the channelling:

I really hope he enjoys the old movies and maybe find a love of cinema.

My Best Shot Monday: Wheel

My best shot of the week is actually Claire's best shot:

She and Louis were on their way down the 400, on their way home from watching Cole play hockey in Alliston, and they saw the sites of the Barrie Fair. Of course they couldn't resist. Claire had my camera with her, and this is the shot she captured. Nice work!

I enjoy My Best Shot Monday as it makes me look critically at my photos and I can choose what is the best of the week. "Best" is subjective, of course. Composition. Balance. Subject. Story. What is the best of those parts. This challenge really makes me LOOK.

What is your best shot this Monday? Do you have a photo to showcase? Be sure to join in My Best Shot Monday, go here for details :)

Now, alternatively, you all know how much I LOVE MONDAYS. I really do. To me Monday represents a new beginning and each Monday I celebrate that within one year, I have 52 fresh starts. It is, to me, a very optimistic day.

The savvy and smart Jennifer Wilson over at Simple Scrapper has started a challenge: Celebrate Monday. How could I resist?

Instead of choosing my best shot of the week, I'm using this challenge to take a photo on Monday: an average, everyday photo which would be considered optimistic or light hearted. In keeping with my attitude toward the day. As has been my habit of late, I'm participating in this challenge over on Flickr and linking my photo to the Simple Scrapper blog. If you are interested, check out my submissions from my last couple of weeks. Who knows, this might become a 52-page mini book of Mondays. Or not. We'll have to see!

I'll be looking for your submissions in the Simple Scrapper website!

 

Mockingjay Release

Somehow Claire got wind of the midnight release of Mockingjay over at our local Chapters book store. Before I knew it, I was picking up girls from all over town so they could meet with some other girls at 10PM to wait in line for the midnight release.

They were so excited. How can you say "no" to a gaggle of girls so jazzed about a book release?

I could barely keep my eyes open to take this photo upon the return of three of them here to the house at 1AM. As in ONE THIS MORNING to have a sleep-over, er, reading party. As I understand it, the plan is to stay up and read the book all night long.

I doubt this is typical behaviour of other 14 year old girls, but am I ever glad it is typical of my girl and her friends! So even with weird markings on their faces (I was too tired to even ask) they astound me with their good humour and sense of fun. I do hope the book lives up to it's hype and worth all of this excitement. 

This promises to be one very long day :)

My Best Shot Monday: Siblings

Over the weekend we had a little visitor that inspired Claire to grab her camera and run outside. A very familiar sight around here. She jumped up on a chair and put her leg on the railing. Cole jumped out of his chair and went over to keep her steady.

I am so proud of him, unprompted, showing her that kindness. (Any of you with more than one kid knows how it warms your heart when your kids show that they can be thoughtful toward each other.) I'm also proud of her for not freaking out and shoving him away! 

A bit of context for the shot, what in the world was she looking for in the tree:

Can you see him there? The little owl over her shoulder?

 

This is the photo I took earlier showing our little visitor. IHe's been living in the cedars in the back yard and we've seen him a few times. He comes to visit every once in a while standing on the stairs outside the back door. He's pretty fearless and allows me to open the door to take photos - and Claire was pretty close, too.

I love that we are surrounded by opportunities to take in nature, in it's natural habitat. Now if I could only get a photo of the beaver who spends some time in our back yard!

If I'm a Good Mother

I was inspired by this post and thought I'd give it a try.

If I'm a good mother it is only because of ...

Chicken Fingers
Equipment trees
Established routines
Perrier
Cyber & IRL friends
Laundry love
Sauvignon Blanc
Singing in the car
Lists
Flip Flops
Canon 40D
Grilled salmon
Clean bathrooms
Lemon anything
Family support
Jamie Oliver
Crafty projects
Eucerin Cream
Oodles of activities
Books
Cool basement
Mechanical Pencils
Blackberry
Pub Night
Popcorn
Reactine
Hugs
Bubbles & Sidewalk Chalk
Lake views
Daily walks
Always having something to do

At the end of it all, if I'm a good mother it is only because I have four spectacular kids.

July In Review

The kids were funny at the beach. This is their attempt at spelling LOVE for me :)

I have to say July was wonderful but I might be the only person on earth complaining about the heat. I really don't deal with it well. The thing that saved me is my igloo (aka, my basement studio) and the stand up fan in the kitchen.

It was a bit of a struggle to keep from blogging. I did make a few slips here and there, but for the most part, I recharged and I think without the self-imposed pressure of blogging daily, I had the time to better absorb some of the brilliance out there on the www. Wow, it's amazing. I've bookmarked a number of entries and hope to share them sometime soon.

What else did I do when I wasn't here on the www?

• July 1st was celebrated: Claire and Chloe was with Alex and family at RibFest in Etobicoke; Cole went with friends to Bronte Harbour and Louis let off sparklers for Caden in the back yard while watching the fireworks at the harbour. Me? I stayed clear of the bugs and read inside.
• There were two "not miss" shows this month:  Jillian Michael's "Losing It" and "The Bachelorette" Our family is Team Chris all the way. How can we not be? He is from our town in Cape Cod! Lots of lessons learned on each show.
• One of the young ('95) hockey players at BTNL, in town from Nova Scotia, needed a place to hang out one day so I voluntold my kids that they were going to hang out with him. He was tall and handsome which was great for Claire, and he was a very talented defenseman, which was great for Cole, and he was lovely. I'm glad we could help out.
• We enjoyed both Wimbledon and the British Open. It was so nice to have shows to watch in the morning, live from overseas!
• I participated in the Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab and on Angie Warren's Project Photography. Going away for a while with no internet was not helpful with keeping up, but I learned a lot at any rate!
• The kids are reading like crazy! Books consumed so far include: City of Bones, City of Ashes and City of Glass by Cassandra Clare; Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan; The Fallen Part 1 by Thomas E. Sniegoski; the Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins; Chosen, Untamed, Hunted, Tempted and Burned all by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast; Graceling by Kristin Cashore; The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton; The A List, A Novel, by Zoey Dean; Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick; The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie; The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness (series of 7 books) by Michelle Paver. Claire and Cole are sharing many books, Cole is passing some down to Caden. Chloe is reading a ton of Archie comics. Sometimes she really is me. I hope it's a "phase" for her as it was for me!
• New computers are in the house! Cole and Claire both attended their roll-outs and got the new hardware loaded with new software. I quite like how they look and they seem sturdier than the Dell's.
• After a huge mail delay, and perhaps bad timing, my Scrapbook Sussies kits finally arrived and I was able to submit my designs. Better late than never. Though, I have to say, a 2-day turn around for me is miraculous! :)
• I was invited to participate in a creative project with a friend and I can't wait to show off what I created!
• Claire and Cole spent a lot of time hanging out with their friends. So did Chloe and Caden. It is a joy to watch them be so social and active. They are still plagued with bouts of insecurity, but that is natural for kids who have a built-in social system with a big family. We're working on it!
• Emmy noms came out! My favourite The Good Wife with the brilliant Julianna Margulies got a nod or two. I'm also thrilled for the recognition, finally, for Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton of Friday Night Lights.
• I arrived home one day to a big puffy envelope with Ali Edward's Life Artist inside. Whoot. Thanks to my lovely cyber-friend, Susan from Georgia. Another puffy envelope arrived while we were on holiday with my Sketchbook Project book. I love mail!
• Caden arrived home one day with a new iPod, he bought it with his birthday money. The other thing he brought home? A new iPad for me! I immediately loaded up iBook and Shazam and all is great in the world.
• Movies watched by some combination of children: Toy Story 3; Knight & Day; Get Him to the Greek; Twilight: Eclipse ...
• Caden had a wonderful 3on3 hockey season. I think maybe, just maybe, he's getting it. Well, except for being kicked out of the final game for "interference". Hmm.
• I really wish Cape Cod was closer, but then again, if it were, everyone we know would be there ... that would be like having a place in Muskoka! Anyway, we enjoyed another holiday in the Cape. We were able to fit in a mere four full days of holiday - with travel time there and back. It was too short, but it was, in Cole's words: "One day is better than none. I'm glad we had four." I'm glad all four of mine agreed. It was a long 20+ hours in the car, but worth every kilometre!
• The Berkshires are beautiful and next year we're going back to Lenox, MA to explore a bit more.
• I do not know who discovered lobster, but THANK YOU!
• Mel Gibson has lost his mind. Absolutely bi-polar or manic depression, but wow buddy, shut up!
• Cole may not be happy about being Corner Back rather than Linebacker, but he's good at it. As the "last guy" he's pretty good at bringing them down.
• Camps! Outrigger Canoe. Robotics. Theater. Day camp is the best. They are exposed to so many things they don't normally do. How fun!
• I love technology. Seriously. It has so much good. It brings things I'd never experience in person (the Louvre, Wikipedia, pick a library) directly into my home. How wondrous. How amazing! Given all of that, I have to say I'm tired of the cyber-bully-bullshit. I'm thrilled my kids include me in the "drama" at least to let me know. This month it was formspring - for which I have an account. But really? I can't even repeat here any (deleted) question asked of my 14-year-old daughter this last month. Disgusting.
• Have I mentioned how much I admire Cathy Zielske? Or totally tickled I am to be included with my friend Barb Wong in our mutual admiration?
• It appears the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico has been capped. That took a crazy amount of time and it's heart-wrenching to think of the damage done.
• My step mum is really interested in Caden being tested at the Arrowsmith School in Toronto. He seems fine to me, but since his near-drowning and resulting coma in 2003, we might as well check him out completely.
• Re-entry is a bitch. Hello allergies! I need to buy a lifetime supply of kleenex. Argh. This summer sucks. Really. Bad.
• I'm already missing the routine and order of the school year. It must be the heat getting to me.
• And then, when I'm suffering the most, I get notification that a lovely someone - who is also an important someone - reads my blog, and recommended it. Specifically the Monthly Review Posts! Thanks Wendy!
• In keeping with my newfound confidence, I applied to be a contributor at a collective of creative women I really enjoy. Fingers crossed! (Note: I wasn't chosen, but who knows? I'm still confident!)
• I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that Claire is dating Alex and Cole is dating Nicole and as prepared as I thought I was for this eventuality, I'm not.
• Along with Caden, I met with my friend Barb Wong and her family in Markham while she was in town to visit with other internet friends. Our plans didn't quite work out, but we're flexible. It was just so nice to see her again!
• Chloe has announced she wants to play hockey again this winter. My friend Lindy took her, with Olivia, to the rink just to confirm her resolve.
• Though disappointed the Titans didn't advance any further than the regular season, Cole had a great time learning how to play football. Whatever will I do on Tuesday and Thursday evening with no practices? :)
• The basement projects are well underway. Even the garage has been purged!
• We're still waiting for our tree removal guys to get back so we can tidy up the property and make plans for replacement (read: live) plants and trees.
• We went for our last meal at The Big Smoke. What a disappointment. The food was dreadful and the staff was far too busy pounding shots at the bar than actually taking care of the paying clients waiting at their tables. Sad.
• Cole has kept up with his hockey: a bit of BTNL, Strong Hockey has opened in Oakville, lessons in Mississauga and shinny. Not too much, but more than nothing after all, Training Camp starts at the end of August! One day he had Outrigger Canoe Camp from 8 to 3, Strong Hockey training from 4 to 5:30 and Football Practice from 6:30 to 8. He LOVED it. Not all days were that intense - or diverse, but there were a few doozies this month.
• Lots of time spent chatting with sisters Andrea and Beth. Love catching up!
• I have become the project queen with many albums and mini's on the go. One thing leads to another and it is so wonderful. I've shared a few and look forward to sharing more!

For having no real plans we seem to be staying pretty busy!

We're just shy of halfway through summer and I think everyone has enjoyed the flexible schedule, hanging out with friends, reading tons of books, posing for and taking photos, eating barbeque and watermelon, having sleep-overs, joining friends for dinner, attending movies and, and, and ... I expect August to be more of the same, less one child as Cole is off to overnight camp for two of the weeks. As for me, I'm done with the heat and we haven't even entered the hot part of summer!

Stories of Summer: My Submissions

When Ali Edwards asked for projects and layouts to be submitted for her Stories of Summer series, I realized a few things:

• My kids need to be equally represented, so I submitted 4 + 1
• I don't have many layouts with all four in them together
• I have not made any mini-albums about our summers
• I make way too many assignment-based projects and not enough for the simple joy of scrapbooking

I was sceptical about having any submission accepted as I was already honoured with my Week in the Life project hilighted on Ali's blog earlier this year. But another thing I've realized? You have zero chance of having your work seen if you don't submit!

These are the layouts I sent in:

What did you submit?

I don't know about you but I thoroughly enjoyed the Stories of Summer series. There is so much talent out there! I'm so inspired to capture more moments in photos and words. My enthusiasm is always there but sometimes my creativity is lagging behind. I'm more creative if I'm consistent.

You know how energy breeds energy? Well, I believe creativity breeds creativity. If you stop, you have to wind yourself up all over again. Certainly I have bursts of more creative periods than not, and that's what I was facing earlier this spring. Then I got it in gear. I started with A Week in the Life, then joined in LOAD in May, participated in Sketchapalooza over at Feeling Scrappy and it kind of snowballed from there. I've been creating in a steady hum for a while and it feels great. 

How do you create? What works best for you, do you have a process or is is stop and go?

Ahem, back to unplugging :)

June in Review

A whirlwind month! When I sat to type out our events in June it felt like YEARS had gone past not just a mere 30 days. I cannot believe how much stuff was crammed into each day, though, I have to say that all the lovely weather makes busy far more bearable.

• Auntie Andrea with Uncle Steve and their little people moved to Oakville! We were so happy they joined us at Cole's performance as Chad in High School Musical. I was so thrilled to have them willingly attend! Cole was awesome as were all the other students.
• Chloe had her re-audition for the Oakville Children's Choir and she can't wait to get started again in September. Claire will also be auditioning to join the senior choir next year since she has no room in her school schedule to take music.
• Right after Cole "blew" his french exam, his word, we received a note from the school suggesting that he be evaluated to go into another class - the advanced course, for next year. I hope he blew all of his exams like that!
• I received an invitation to participate someplace wonderful. But it's a secret. I'll let you know all about it as soon as I'm allowed!
• Claire went to Lake Tamagami with a group of classmates. A week of wet, bugs and having to "pee in a hole" - judging from her photos on Facebook she had a wonderful time. She shared lots of stories and I have no doubt the best ones will be those we never hear :)
• Creativity Boot Camp was a wonderful experience. It was two intense weeks of virtually-meeting new people and learning new things. My brain is spinning with possibilities! Love me a good creative kick in the pants.
• Chloe had her last recording session at the Appleby College chapel - guess what everyone is getting next Christmas? :)
• Cole and his BTNL team played in the Ronald McDonald tournament in Toronto. So wonderful the experience of the boys playing with other elite teams. A joy to watch all of the boys.
• Caden had a project to do. Dugongs. What is with my kids and their love of marine mammals? He really wanted to do his project on Narwals but Ryan "stole" his idea.
• Claire and Cole really enjoy their new kayaks and I really enjoy watching them teach Chloe and Caden how to be comfortable in them on the water. It is so nice to know they can get along!
• I am enjoying a whole new hockey experience. Cole is thriving and learning. That's all I ever wanted.
• People who create jealous and petty children are really dangerous, not just to their kids, but to mine as well. Just give your head a shake, stop and grow up. Set a better example for your children.
• Cole is enjoying football. I'm just enjoying that his schedule has been reduced now that there is no rugby or play rehearsal through June. He is making the rounds - linebacker to half back to corner back. He misses being a linebacker - too much running and not enough hitting at corner!
• Chloe turned 11 mid-month. I still can't believe it.
• We finally celebrated Caden's birthday, better late than never! The original plan was to go to Marineland, but we didn't want to risk the weather, so we took the kids to Cora's for breakfast then on to the movies. Karate Kid for the youngers and the A Team for the olders.
• Louis accompanied Cole and the Titan team to Sarnia on a wet and windy day - well, wet and windy here, not there, thank goodness! Our team was "schooled" and lost a painful 55-14 trounce.
• Chloe enjoyed a full day at Canada's Wonderland with her forever friend Olivia. Olivia was celebrating her birthday and asked Chloe along. It was the day after Chloe's birthday and she was delighted to go. It turns out she is a roller coaster girl, a real daredevil, and loves the Behemoth!
• Marianas Trench is a favourite band in this house. Claire and her friends took themselves off to the Sound of Music Festival in Burlington where Cole met up with them after his football practice. A wonderful night.
• The commencement ceremony at Appleby was long and hot and fruitful. Claire finally earned her Optimates (honours) after much hard work and dedication; Cole didn't just win the Athletics award but the Arts award as well. We are so very proud of them both.
• Alex Corrance was a minor hockey player who died of a heart problem while on the ice at the age of 17, this was in 2006. BTNL sponsors a ball hockey tournament held in the parking lot at Ice Sports in support of his memorial fund. Cole and members of his hockey team participated this year. Cole's group was knocked out in the semi finals. All of the boys followed up the tournament with a pot luck and swim party at the Song's house. The perfect end to a wonderful day!
• I really do not like gossips, they really are unkind. 
• Our friends opened their shop in downtown Oakville. Gorgeous stuff!
• Father's Day was spent with Louis taking Cole to hockey lessons then off to watch Cole in Barrie playing football, I stayed in Oakville taking Caden to 3on3 and Claire to rugby. We then joined friends at the pub for a Father's Day dinner, fun!
• Claire played host to a number of friends at a Slip 'n' Slide party in our back yard. The kids were great and it was a fun afternoon with lots of water, lots of music, lots of voices and laughter ... oh and pizza, freezies and ice cream! And rain, but you know, wet is wet.
• Claire enjoyed her first rugby game, a total departure from playing baseball.
• We posted the "House Rules" after some negotiation. I finished reading "35 Things Your Teen Won't Tell You, So I Will" by Ellen Pober Rittberg. Scary stuff! With fingers crossed I hope I'm on the right path.
• Our gorgeous 3-storey blue spruce which was dead the top 10-12 feet was removed, and stumped. According to Chloe, who counted the rings, it was 28 years old. The thing with removing one problem is that it creates a whole new set of issues. We had the tree guy come in and they're going through the whole property to remove and prune. We'll see what's left in the fall!
• The G8 and the G20 were held in the GTA and area. It was a tense and distressing few days. I'm happy for anyone able to get themselves out of town and relieved that we have no reason to go to Toronto or cottage country.
• Report cards came through and the kids are all doing well with very strong marks. We are so proud of all of them. They really do represent four points on a compass and I'm always feeling like I'm going in different directions. They just choose different routes to their As and Bs.
• It was so nice to have Wimbledon tennis on during the day. And the US Open Golf at Pebble Beach? The best!
• Claire closed off the month taking care of Nicholas for 3 days. He is a lovely autistic boy, a child of a friend of ours who needs some help while she's a way and her husband is in charge.
• Louis spent his 48th birthday at a MOHA meeting where he raised his hand and is now the senior convener for Minor and Major PeeWee divisions. He has 2 years left on the board and he's already got it jam packed with stuff to do!
• As for me? Pick a project! Between Dream Lab, Project Photography, Frogs, Red Strings and 70-Days, my creative life has not slowed down. Indeed, it has picked up steam!

As I mentioned in this post a couple of days ago, I'll be slowing down the blog a bit in order to spend some time with the kids, and turn our massive "to do" into a big "ta da"! I'll pop in now and again when the mood - and time - strikes. In essence, the blog will slow, but life will not!

It's a whole new sport adventure

Claire has been playing with a bat since she was little. I think she joined her first softball team when she was four. Last year her baseball team won the OBAs - you don't get any better than that! After a decade of bat and ball it was time for a change.

I'm pretty sure Louis and I were both hoping for golf. I know I was.

Alas, our girl had other plans:

RUGBY!

She loves it. I think I'll love it too when I get used to the game, know the rules and learn to relax when

she is winded or worse!

It's a lot to get used to ... going from a non-contact sport to this is a lot to get used to ... for all of us!

 

Water & Teenagers

Claire had been looking forward to her party for weeks. Her mother had finally relented and she was able to invite a bunch of friends over. Unfortunately for her, many of the other parents had other plans and a number of her friends were out of town. Bummer.

Then sandwiched in between days of glorious weather, by set-up time things looked like this:

Was it ever wet! Double bummer.

No matter. By the end, Louis and the kids had set up the slip-n-slides, the volleyball net, the lounge chairs and Claire had found every extra towel we have in the house. Ready for whoever showed up.

Seven kids + Sibs. Not bad. The best part? Mama is "cool" because it was never cancelled ;)

A bit wet! The girls had a great time, especially when the sun finally made it's appearance. Better late than never, eh?

I don't think anyone actually used the slip-n-slides but everyone had a great time. The boys played full-on tackle football and managed to attach the squirter on the end of the hose. Shrieks and delight ensued. Now it's just a big wet and muddy mess!

Four large pizzas, four boxes of Kool Aid jammers and two dozen cupcakes later it was time to go home. 

I love saying yes.

Shh, don't tell her.

My Best Shot Monday: Masts

As we were sitting on the deck looking out over the water what appeared?

Claire grabbed the camera and ran to the end of the yard, only to realize there was no data card. Ran back, got the card, and the photo credit. So this isn't my best shot Monday, this is Claire's best shot. In the time we've lived here, I've never seen such a beautiful vessel float by ... many sailboats and freighters, but never this. Gorgeous.

What is your best shot this Monday? Do you have a photo to showcase? Be sure to join in My Best Shot Monday, go here for details :)

Creativity Boot Camp: Day 12

Journal Prompt

It can be scary to think about dreams; really scary. I’m sure there are a few of you who are put off thinking about dreams right now…assuring yourself that you are happy right where you are. But today, I’d like you to stretch and think about one or two dreams that you have for your future. They can be about a place you’d like to travel, a job you’d like to have, a business you’d like to own…but don’t feel restricted by reality. Try and see if you can stretch more, believing that anything is possible, what would you wish for?

Now, as you think of these dreams {big or small} what might be some small baby steps you could start taking right now to begin clearing the path towards those dreams?

I am firmly entrenched in the world of teens and pre-teens. My dreams are currently taking a new direction: focused on supporting the dreams of my children. I have learned that dreams require patience. You can't have it all, all the time, when you want it. Immediate gratification often has a far heavier cost than taking the slow and more steady road to fulfilment. Taking a break to focus on more important things, my kids, gives me time to have my ideas percolate and form fully before I expend time, energy and often expense only to have them fall apart. My creative dreams today are not necessarily my creative dreams of 2, 5, 10 years ago. The great thing is they grow as you grow, change as you change.

CLAIRE has just finished her first year of high school. She is a sweet and responsible girl ... with edge. She is social, smart, hard working and sure. No push over, my girl. She has a great sense of self. It was the one thing I dreamed for her and she has worked hard, against many obstacles, to attain a strong spirit and great confidence and humour. She started on a new athletic journey abandoning baseball after 8 or 9 years and now plays rugby, canoeing and I'm hoping by the end of the summer, golf! She understands the importance of her studies and is focused on getting good marks and picking a good university as she wants to be a Chiropractor/Sports Therapist. I am doing all I can to make sure her dream is reached - I'm supportive and happy to sign her up for anything that will further her ambitions. I am a sounding board always open and available to encourage her to be all that which she is capable. 

COLE has just finished his first year of middle school. He is a kind, intense and mature guy ... with enough self doubt to keep him from being too cocky. This year he saw evidence that hard work pays off as he was chosen to join the AAA hockey team after two dreadful seasons of toil. His response? Work harder. He is the poster child for focus. He is also very social and becoming very comfortable in the man he is becoming: well read, opinionated and thoughtful. He's also very active: he canoes/kayaks, plays rugby, runs cross country, plays football and goofs off with his younger brother. He has already decided that he is going to further his studies at McGill and pursue a career as a lawyer. I am doing all I can as his greatest cheerleader to provide him with sound council and encouragement. My greatest dream for Cole would be to forget about perfection and focus his considerable energy on attaining excellence. I have no doubt he will.

CHLOE is finishing up grade 5 and enjoyed her stint as Prime Minister of her class, honour student and playground organizer. Her siblings call her bossy, I call her organized :) Chloe discovered a love for volleyball which will be perused with gusto next season. She also quite enjoyed being a member of the Oakville Children's Choir this past season. She wants for so many things! A dreamer this one is! Right now she wants to be a marine biologist; a singer/actress; a teacher and a mum. Right now, the only dream I have for Chloe is happiness. She is such a force she doesn't always see how her actions effect others. Resilience is not the same as happiness. Oh, and I also hope she will finally turn off the television and embrace the books she's currently enjoying!

CADEN will forever be my "thank god he's alive" child. We almost lost him in 2003 to a drowning incident which left him in a coma for over a week. He is a continual marvel. When we left the hospital we were told to keep our expectations low, that among other things, he would never be able to use a Gameboy. I bought him one on the way home, not only does he play, he's mastered it and ever helps his big brother when he gets stuck on levels. Every time I have a dream for him, albeit a cautious one, he moves beyond it and I have to come up with something else. He's a big, funny, goofy comedian who loves to make people laugh and loathes being laughed at, ah, performer indeed. He's a stats freak and just when you think "it can't be", you google for an answer and realize he's right. My dream for Caden is that he finds joy in whatever he does.

Why a big entry about my children?

Simple.

They are my dream.

When I was growing up and had no dreams left, the only thing I wanted was a family of my own.

For you who are suspicious that I'm avoiding the practical question of what is my dream, here is my current, long-term list:

• Write a book, or series of books
• Drag out my watercolours and see where that goes
• Maybe combine the two?
• Lose 100 pounds
• Get published in Canadian Scrapbooker magazine
• Put together that notebook/card idea I had a couple of years ago
• Play tennis and golf again
• Multi media canvases, hmm
• That stationery store idea is always niggling at the back of my head - maybe Etsy makes more sense?
• Create an on-line class a la Susannah Conway? Ali Edwards? Share what I've learned, teach something altogether new? Be content to realize I'm not a teacher?
• Take a photo tour of Europe
• The poster quotes is another niggling plan
• What ever happened to that ceramic idea? Etching plans? Glass painting?

And from there it goes on ... and on.

Random Word Prompt

Smooth

Scotch? Marble? Jazz? Glass? Transition? So many choices!

Then I remembered all of the gorgeous smooth and flat rocks at the cove where the kids launch their kayaks. So indicative of our life here in Bronte. Whiling away hours skipping the lake rocks throughout the summer.

What was your interpretation of "smooth"?

SOOC Saturday: Paddles

Each year, for the kids, Louis and I get them "you survived the year, and thrived" gifts. Sometimes it is a family trip to Marineland, a camera or other electronic gadget, tickets to an event or concert. This year, the olders were given kayaks. The weather was ideal on Thursday and they took their new toys out to the lake. They had a blast. So much so, the youngers have requested a double-kayak for themselves as their survival gift :)

I love that Claire and Cole get along so well. They spent over an hour on the lake and got home and continued to play. Amazing how those paddles turned them into Star Wars characters! Lots of fun.

What is your favourite SOOC (Straight Out Of Camera) shot today? You can join in: here! 

ASCENT

Claire is in the midst of ASCENT. She has completed the Guidance, Service and Math portion and on Monday she leaves for a week, A WEEK, with her classmates up north. In preparation I've had to collect the regular list of supplies: sleeping bag, extra socks, flashlight. And, I've had to buy her a bug suit. I never in my life thought I'd ever have to do such a thing, but there you have it. Just the idea that it is on the mandatory packing list makes it a place I never want to go. Then again, to me, camping should only be enjoyed at a good upscale hotel.

I've been asked by some friends to define ASCENT. It is, according to the school website:

Upper One (Grade 9) students complete their year by participating in ASCENT, a ground-breaking program that replaces traditional examinations with three weeks of intensive Arts, Service, Cumulative Evaluation and a Northward Bound Trip at McLaughlin Northern campus in Temagami.

In recent years educators have advocated an alternative to traditional examinations called summative or performance tasks. In this method, students apply the knowledge they learn in class to a series of activities and tests. This measures not only the final result of the task, but also how students solve problems, present their knowledge and communicate what they have learned. As well, the cross-curricular goals are to develop independent thinking skills, self-discipline, environmental awareness, diversity of community, spiritual and moral development, and student-centered experiences which create leadership opportunities. The program runs as a round robin with three student groups who participate in:

Arts activities such as a musical theatre and improv workshops, weaving tapestries with an Inuit artist and African drumming

Service projects such as working with developmentally-challenged individuals and building gardens at a community centre

Cumulative evaluations for academic courses

Northward Bound Trip, which culminates in a five-day canoe trip with food and equipment prepared for by the students

I've heard from a number of parents who have had their older children go on this adventure, that upon their return the children are changed forever.

I have to say I HOPE NOT!

I love my girl the way she is. Every bubbly, smart, witty, stubborn, opinionated, thoughtful, cranky and kind bit of her.

We'll have to wait and see.

ETA: We are in the midst of packing and Claire allowed me to snap a few pics:

She is such a crack up. Always having a good laugh at her own silliness :)

SOOC Saturday: Blackberry

I have to say I'm a reluctant techie. On the other hand, my kids are into everything and I have to do my best to stay in the loop so I know what is going on with them.

Claire has her own phone and it amazes me how quickly she switches gears to input things into my blackberry - a completely different gadget. I still haven't figured out how to even answer her phone! Sad, sad, mama. My kids all know there is a 24-hour rule for activities. If I don't know, they don't go. We've now got to the point where they tell me what they want to do then I have them input the activities themselves - after approval! It works for us.

What is your favourite SOOC (Straight Out Of Camera) shot today? You can join in: here! 

My girl, Claire

Lately, I have been bemoaning the fact that I have very few photos of my girls. They seem to have far more highly developed sense of mama-has-the-camera-lets-hide-now than the boys do. The other evening Claire and I were sitting at the kitchen table so I seized this rare opportunity!

This girl makes me LAUGH! Seriously funny child; think Goldie Hawn - with edge. When she isn't overtaken by the adolescent monster who lives within, Claire can be quite charming and engaging. I do hope she confines that inner monster to share with family only! 

Claire is currently consumed with her photography website over at Deviant Art. She has a good eye and is enjoying the process of taking photos and then playing with them. She laughs that I am still "stuck" in SOOC. But I'm happy - she's happy.

These days she's also just finished choosing her courses for next year *gulp* Upper 2 (grade 10); she's signed up to play rugby this summer; she's been asked to be the counsellor at outrigger canoe camp; she has a YouTube channel and starting her new blog; oh, and the music and music opinions! And, because she's not busy enough, I'll be signing her up to take sewing classes in September because she wants to design and make her own clothes. Between all that and her crazy, zany sense of humour, there is rarely a dull moment with Claire in the room!

Now to get some photos of Chloe. Hmm, wonder where I can find her.

:)

SOOC Saturday: Ukulele

Claire really makes me laugh. She's taken it upon herself to figure out how to play the ukulele. She brought it down to the kitchen to play "Something" by the Beatles. Claire is nothing but a silly delight, with a ton of smarts and ability. I'll keep her!

What is your favourite SOOC (Straight Out Of Camera) shot today? You can join in: here! 

Love found in the closet

It has always been a painful reality to me that my girls do not get along.

Sure they are polite and helpful around the house when told to perform a chore; they engage in polite conversation at the table or during family activities; they share a passing awareness of what is going on in each other's life. As a mama, I don't demand much, but I do demand respect, of everyone.

My concern is that there is no genuine curiosity or interest in the activities of the other. From first hand experience I know that these are not qualities you can force on siblings, you certainly can't tell the eldest to "do the right thing because" as it always takes two to have a relationship. As a parent, I believe, all you can do is step in when necessary and consistently foster an environment for change and acceptance. Oh, and keep your fingers crossed that maybe, just maybe, something will happen that makes them sit up and take notice that they are potentially the best friends they could ever have, ever.

I very hopefully and quietly (shhh, don't jinx it) think this day may have arrived!

It has become a family tradition that whichever grandchild turns 10 that year, and some years there will be multiple members who meet that criteria, they get to go visit Nanna and Grampy at their winter home in Florida for a few days. Claire went a few years ago when she turned 10 and Cole went with his cousin when they turned 10. This year it is Chloé's turn. Not that my parents aren't company enough, but to ensure Chloé is fully engaged and does not suffer a boring moment, Claire has been invited to tag along to keep her company and give Nanna and Grampy a bit of a break now and then - a tennis game, biking, a ride in the golf cart, endless hours in the pool and hot tub - you get the idea.

They left at 3PM today. They don't return until late next Monday. I was fearful of this day and spent many hours just hoping against hope that they'd just get along rather than sit in stony silence, which is more often than not the case. Way better than the alternative, but still not quite right.

Yesterday it happened. After speaking with Nanna about the weather, which using her words was "cold", I decided to take the girls over to the mall to pick up a few things. Primarily a trench coat for Claire (which we found, very cute, black and traditional) but more important was to find more than a few things for Chloé who seems to find fashion in her brother's closet rather than her own. Ugh. Madam Fashionista, Claire, took off with her friend to find some things and I took Chloé with me. To me shopping is a pain worse than childbirth, so this was a big deal. We went to two places: Garage and American Eagle. (I'm trying to deal with the shock I'm no longer shopping for sweetly coordinated duds at Children's Place and Gap for Kids!) Many outfits were tried on, many rejected, many purchased. We regrouped at the food court where we shared our finds.

Then reality dawned: my girls wear the same size.

They're both smart and gorgeous: blonde, blue eyed; but, that is where the similarity ends. Claire is tall, athletic, lanky at 5'9" and Chloé is short, plump and curvy at 5' flat. I have no doubt she will gain some inches and thin out over the next couple of years, but now, in this moment, they are the same.

Tentatively I said: "well, your wardrobes have just doubled." Fingers crossed, breathe held, bracing for the worst. The idea was met with big eyes, big smiles and eventually a couple of squeals. Never in my wildest imaginings did I think clothing would be the environment to foster sisterly change, but hey, you take what you can get!

The minute we got in the door at home, they spent two hours dumping out their closets, drawers and all the clean laundry they could find to mix and match all of their clothes. I enjoyed the squeals and giggles as they ran into the kitchen with their outfits. I have to say, Claire has a very good sense of style. A little traditional mixed with a little edgy and always very modest. It works!

I know the potential pitfalls and drama caused by clothing damage, loss and dirt but that's all been discussed and I think they're both so relieved and happy to have this little bit of serendipity, they want this to work.

We'll see. The combination of a new-found mutual interest and forced quarters may just be the formula. Let's hope it's a successful one!

In the meantime, this was the reaction of my boys to the house becoming almost estrogen-free:

Looks like it's going to be a pretty entertaining - and testosterone filled - six days :)

SOOC Saturday: Side Bangs

Claire has been asking me for what feels like forever to have "side bangs" like some of the other girls at school. For the longest time I had no idea what she was talking about so my habitual response was "no". Then my little chickie got smart and showed me a few photos. I was skeptical, she has a bit of uncooperative bend in her hair, but in keeping with my new "say yes" mantra, I said yes.

Now, you have to understand, my girl is always adorable, but I have to say, she looks rockin' with the new do! For the last six months or so I've been dying the under part of her hair a rich chocolate brown, and it's due for a touch up, help her maintain her edgy independence and all that teenage angst and creativity.

What do you do. Are your kids asking for change? Do you let them ... even if a bit reluctantly?

What is your favourite SOOC (Straight Out Of Camera) shot today? You can join in: here! 

The photo above is mine taken in the back yard right after the cut. No PSE or other manipulation. Here is Claire's version, her new Facebook avatar: