Embrace Life

Wishcasting | 37, 38, 39 & 40

WISHCASTING | 37 If anything's possible (and it is), what would you wish for?

I want for very little, but if I could wish for anything (beyond good health and good choices for me and my children) it would be for a lifetime membership to and property at Canyon Ranch, Tucson. I would visit regularly and make the desert lifestyle a more physcially present part of my life and not just every April!

What about you? If anything's possible, what would you wish for?

WISHCASTING | 38 Who is the "you" you wish to be?

I want to be comfortable in my own skin. In that I mean, I want to be the weight of the woman inside. The weight of the woman with my test results. I have no problem with the look of the weight - as in I feel no shame because of it - but I do have a problem with not looking like how I feel. The woman I wish to be better resembles the woman I was before the thyroid disease, before the frozen shoulder, before adrenal failure. I am happy to be the woman who had four kids in four-and-a-half years who is now 50. The rest I could do without!

What about you? Who is the "you" you wish to be?

WISHCASTING | 39 What rules do you wish to break?

Given the current level of bullying and mean behaviour I've witnessed, I have some serious issues with societal rules of engagement. Especially those that just don't ring true in that they are meant to elicit an inauthentic response - the made up rules that protect the bully and shame the victim. I wish to break every rule that does not honour the only one that matters to me: treat people the way you want to be treated. 

What about you? What rules do you wish to break?

WISHCASTING | 40 How do you wish to be brave?

I wish I could consistently stand in my truth every minute of every day. I would let the words and actions of those in "power" (who use judgment and shame to manipulate) just wash over me with no reaction. I would really like to convert my current reaction of anger and helplessness to pity - or even generosity and gratitude.

What about you? How do you wish to be brave?

_______________________________________________________________________

These are responses to the prompts found in Jamie Ridler's 52-week e-course: What If You Filled Your Year With Wishes. Though I'm more goal-oriented than a dream-believer, I have a fondness for wishes. Recently, there has been much heart-work done and I can be more authentic, more gentle and more kind with myself and my wishes.

#HouseRules

Inspired by a recent IKEA ad, it got me thinking about our own house rules. Things are so different now in a house of teens rather than a house of toddlers. Some of the rules have stayed the same and some of the rules have changed along the way.

I thought I had just two simple rules in my house: treat people the way you want to be treated; and, give me 24-hours notice of plans.

My kids corrected me! It turns out there are a few more:

Don't impose your bad mood on others. A good mood? Impose!

Put glassware away in the cupboard upside down.

Don't leave the house without letting someone know where you're going - and when you plan to return.

Wood spoons and white spatulas go with wood spoons and white spatulas, all other kitchen utensils go with all other kitchen utensils. There is no reason to mix them all up.

Always answer your phone if the caller is someone related to you. (Unless you're in the shower or sleeping. Then call back as soon as you can.)

Show up. Own it. Look for good. Only good.

Let me repeat: what others think of you is none of your business.

Toilet paper comes over the top and the roll must be replaced in the same manner when empty.

If you can't live your life as though your actions and words were to be printed on the front page of the newspaper, perhaps you should reconsider those actions and words.

Put the driver's seat back to position #1 and turn down the music when you return the truck.

When empty (only drops left = empty) replace the milk bag in the fridge. Do not leave the container empty on the counter. And throw the little plastic triangles in the garbage when a new bag is opened.

Secrets are toxic. No whispering.

Get yourself up in the morning. You don't like to hear yelling in the morning only half as much as I don't like yelling.

Intollerance will not be tolerated. (Yes, I understand the hypocricy.)

Make sure you have everything with you that you need for school. With rare exception will it be delivered to you. That includes homework, gym clothes and food.

Do not delete shows from the DVR if they were not recorded for your own personal enjoyment.

When out of the house or off school property, do not use data on your phone!

When going to Fortino's, check to make sure we have the basics: bread & milk etc. before you go. And then buy what's missing.

This too shall pass - the bad times and the good times.

Who you choose to be your boyfriend/girlfriend is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Your family will tell you the truth. Listen. We love you.

The toilet seat is always to be in the down position. Unless in use, of course.

Tell mama first. I do not want to hear from someone else's mum that you did *gasp* at an event. Best to own it and let me know first so I am prepared for the well-meaning - or pot-stirring - "friend" and her "news".

From a place of pure joy and trust, you all sing in the shower. We all suffer through every note - no one can complain about the other! :D

Clothes on your floor do not get washed. And still-folded clothes returned to the laundry room do not get washed either.

Teddy was right: comparison is the thief of joy.

Bickering over provable nonsense is exhausting. If you're going to argue please determine an idea to ease world hunger, devise a plan to stop all wars, find a cure for ebola and other terrible diseases. Nonsense? Ugh.

Check the COZI, if there is nothing, the answer is probably "yes". (Even with the 24-hour rule in place!)

Homework first.

If someone - anyone is talking trash about anyone in your family, defend first and get the facts later.

If in doubt: breathe. In-two-three. Out-two-three. Then speak.

And with that, we're done! What "rules" do you have in your house? How many have changed along the way? 

hello monday | 143

hello week in the life. it starts today!

hello pool table. caden had the first break and then chloé beat him. a great start!

hello ping pong attachment. even better? the ping pong table overlay. and the schock on cole's face when he realized his mama can play :)

hello cc-40. some battles are just not worth waging.

hello hallowe'en. a big deal in this house with costumes being purchased, parties being planned and candy being negotiated. we even got a fog machine!

hello pulmonary function test. asthma is a chronic thing in our family. it's time to rule it in or out - or in -  for caden.

hello elementary. i have missed this show!

hello letting go. mercury has (finally) packed up it's time of short tempers and  miscommunication and moved out. at least until january 21, 2015.

hello new conversations. after the tragic and disgusting violence of last week, with the death of two men in canadian armed forces uniforms, we have had many new conversations with diverse fears and insight. it reopened the conversation with cole asking to get a maple leaf tattoo. 

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

hello monday | 142

hello air. i spent a very full weekend buried in all things desire map and the future planning of my life as a clarity coach. such exciting stuff! time to come up for air.

hello name changes. it's offical.

hello bully. you would think at my age i wouldn't run into that many but the fact is mean girls grow up to be mean women. with this one i will no longer engage.

hello consistency. someone asked me the other day how my kids are "so well adjusted". my answer? consistency. they always know exactly what to expect from me. it made me a good executive, too.

hello pool table. i ordered one for the basement - with the ping-pong tabletop option. it's being delivered this week. i can't wait to play again - if my kids give me a chance!

hello volleyball. lots going on this week - playing and watching.

hello writing with style workshop. i learn so much at these occasional day-long writing sessions. this should get me all geared up for nanowrimo!

hello week in the life project. i so enjoy this project and don't miss it. though, with autumn being so very busy, i think i'd prefer it in the winter/spring. maybe february when i'm looking for things to do! at any rate, it's next week and i have my kit - and got one for my sister too!

hello treadclimber. pooped, but worth it.

hello nutcrackers in the house. it's been decided: christmas is on this year. nutcrackers are the theme.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

real right now | my future starts now

Well, it started earlier this week.

I knew last year when I hosted my Desire Map Book Club that I wanted this concept, this setting of goals with soul, to be the foundation on which I built my future. At the time I had no idea how I was going to do it! Well, Danielle LaPorte and her brilliant Team D did all that figuring and arranging and organizing for me. They are a remarkable group and I am thrilled to be affiliated with them.

I have spent the last couple of weeks in a beta workshop with Sandi Faviell Amorim to learn all I possibly can from a Master Coach and my fellow participants so that I can offer the best, most complete and fulfilling programs possible.

This is a truly wonderful Thanksgiving week! I have so much for which to be grateful and it only compounds with the more I learn and appreciate. Now I am utterly SWAMPED with paper and the promise held within each page. And learning, as quickly as I can, all of the ins-and-outs of affiliate programs, Facebook pages, website design and business cards. I have even booked the space to use for the upcoming workshops starting on January 7th!

I hope you'll join me.

Now I'm off to Kundalini yoga to get in the right mind set for a creative and challenging weekend - I'll be spending my time building my future.

the current | forty-three (the retrograde version)

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 4:55pm on 15 october 2014
weather outside: a cool 12C - feeling muggy
mood inside: reflective and mellow

We are in the middle of the final Mercury Retrograde of the year. I have learned to embrace these 3-week anomolies in my year. I am a Virgo's Virgo and Mercury is my friend - so I learned from the astrologist at Canyon Ranch in April :) As part of my journey to knowledge, earlier this year I posted about the effects of the season and decided to finish up the year by incorporating it into my current "current" post. (Typical of the time, I searched my blog archives for the post when I thought of this idea - and it was nowhere to be found, until I started writing. Strange. Expected.)

REsiding in my lovely new home. My favourite room is the kitchen/family room. Or maybe my office. Nah, my bedroom. There are so many good places I can't seem to settle on one thing that is "best" and that is a good thing!

REviewing content. What do I want to keep blogging about? What do I want to keep crafting? What do I do that brings me the most joy?

REalizing just how much has changed in the last year. In the last five? It's completely mind-boggling.

REnewing my attitude and approach to my health and the super-gross-and-disgusting amino acid supplement powder I have to take every day. Not only does it taste awful, the texture is worse than anything I've ever been forced to consume.

REflecting on oodles of old photos - thousands of them. I want to enlarge four photos - one for each kid - and put in the family room. Tough process.

REviving my passion for reading. I have spent the last few months reaquainting myself with writing. It's now time to read, for the joy of it.

REminding myself that I am exactly where I need to be right now.

REsearching an idea for my hero's journey. I think it just might work!

REconciling myself to the reality that some people cannot help themselves and find a hobby - like reading, or crochet, or painting. No, their idea of a hobby is meddling. Help me to be patient and quiet!

REviewing my new wardrobe and finding myself happy with the results.

REmembering to put myself on the top of my list.

REfreshing my view of some old situations. Making sure I am looking at situations and people with my own point of view that has not been tainted by the views of others. 

REbounding from another flipping cold! Consuming zinc, vitamin C and oregano oil at an alarming rate!

REcalling the things that made me happy, really happy, when I was a child. First and foremost were colouring books. And jigsaw puzzles. It's time to revisit those activities and bring them back into my life.

RElocating boxes - from the garage into the basement. Hoping to put on the shelves soon!

REconsidering my stand on travel since one child wants to go to the Turks & Caicos for reading week and another wants to travel the Ring Road in Iceland. I'm busy researching both. (Can my kids be any more different in their choices of destination?)

REelect signs are EVERYWHERE. It looks like we're in for a few more years of same-old-same-old.

REfinishing the kitchen table and chairs will be a big project! It is desperately needed, but may have to wait until next spring, when we can eat at the table outside.

REnegotiating my non-negotiables. Some I've had out of habit for years. It's time to delve a little deeper and see what works and what doesn't.

REstoring my enthusiam for cooking. I have new cookbooks - all of the "one pot" variety" which has helped with the clean up!

REmoving all doubt, it's time to move into my Next Chapter by reinvesting in myself and my plans for the future.

And, after much thought, I decided to review my purchasing of juices from Tree of Life and reordered the green (#1 and #3) drinks to supplement my poor vegetable consumption:

real right now | amid the thanks and giving

I am always a little wary of the "Christmas season" as I find it to be one that does not bring out the best in people. Instead, I prefer the more low-key idea of thanksgiving as a season of lowered expectations and raised gratitude.

With our proximity to the U.S., where their Thanksgiving heralds the start of their holiday season, I've decided to use my Canadian Thanksgiving - the second Monday of October, to mark the opening to my "Thanksgiving season" which, this year, will span from Monday, October 13 through Thursday, November 27.

Last year, with the help of Cathy Zielske's 30 Days of Thankful templates and Artifact Uprising, I had a lovely book to recognize the season. The year before, again with the help of CZ, another book was made to celebrate the season. This year, I've gone further back into the archives as I do not want to limit my project to 30 (or 31) days as the season will, for me, contain 46 days. I have purchased Cathy's (limitless) digital kit from 2009.

I spend a lot of time firmly planted in my present and aware of all the things for which I am grateful. I enjoy this project each year as it gives me a tangible opportunity to record - in photos and words - what is the most important to me. Things have changed as my outlook and priorities have changed. These projects provide a nice reference point!

To get me started, I want to take a few moments to observe, absorb and record where I am. Now.

Surprise, a pic of me, today (well, Sunday, at Thanksgiving dinner.) Photo credit goes to my niece, Spencer:

 A few pics of my life, currently:

Lots of orange, and gourds, and cooler weather. Bliss.

Our family room - a rare photo as it is tidy! Love this space.

I take these every day - in actual fact, I take over 30 pills each day. It's exhausting, but I do feel better.

And more of what I am most thankful for, every day:

Adventures with my family! Which always provides fodder for a story or two. In this case, 10 of us headed down to see "Wicked" at the Ed Mervish Theatre. We were a bit early and lucky for us the Hard Rock Café had terrible service - we ended up not being seated - which took us to The 3 Brewers next door. It was so good - service and food A+!  My sister and I were holding our breath regarding "Wicked" as recent productions in Toronto have been less than marginal. I'm so happy that "Wicked" was wonderful! We topped off our day with most of our crew joined up with more family at Grazie for an always wonderful gastronomical experience before heading home. A very long, and very lovely, day.

hello monday | 141

life skills lesson: uncle jamie teaching caden how to carve.

hello thanksgiving. happy to celebrate on the sunday with family so we can enjoy a far more relaxed monday with take-out from red chillie, as is our tradition.

hello family. reflecting on our thanksgiving dinner with my sister and family in toronto - always lovely to spend time with them and missing those who couldn't be with us.

hello urban outfitters. especially fun when all of the girlies can head down to the urban outfitters and collect some goodies!

hello serious school planning. now that thanksgiving is over serious attention is being turned to university selection for next year. he seems to have been contemplating this particular chapter since he was about 3 years of age! though, i think he wants to be something other than a power ranger at this point.

hello desire map virtual program. i missed the call yesterday, but am all caught up now. such great insight and challenge and opportunity!

hello rabbit in shop. hopefully it's nothing serious and we can retrieve it and bring it in to andrew soon! happy claire got a last minute spot on the train.

hello choices. nice to see some really good ones being made by all of my kids.

hello hallowe'en party plans. i do hope i don't live to regret this :)

hello carrot cake. and coffee for breakfast. it's totally decadent, but the indulgence only happens once each year!

hello grateful. for my life and all who occupy a spot in it.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

PROJECT | NaNoWriMo

A couple of years ago, I faithfully participated in the NaNoWriMo which is what their website calls a "good old-fashioned kick in the pants you need to write the rough draft of your novel in November". That is to say, write 50,000 words by the end of the month, or approximately 1,667 words every day, each day of November.

That last almost-50,000 words I wrote ended up in a landfill in St. Catharine's - which is where it probably belonged! Those words were written years before the NaNoWriMo website, forums and the idea of pre-planning or peer support - 2009 to be precise. When November 1 arrived, I just started to write with no preparation and not a glimmer of an idea. At all. Granted, there is a certain beauty in that, but this year I decided to take what I've learned in the last five years, particularly the last 6-months, and put a plan together.

First step: What do I want to write?

• A short-short story, or "flash fiction" is defined as 100 to 500 words
• A short story is defined as 1,000 to 7,500 words
• A novelette is defined as 7,500 to 17,500 words
• A novella is defined as 17,500 to 60,000 words
• A novel is defined as 60,000 to 125,000 words

Within these guidelines the genre also determines length:

• Literary, Commercial and Women's fiction: 100,000 words
• Crime Fiction: 90,000 words
• Mysteries, Thrillers & Suspense: 70,000 for contemporary and 90,000 for historical
• Romance: Between 70,000 and 100,000 words
• Fantasy: Though often longer, 90,000 is a preferred number
• Paranormal: Tighter is better, 75,000 words
• Horror: To keep up the tension, not past 100,000 words
• Memoir: 80,000 words
• Historical: Up to 120,000 words but not much more
• Young Adult: Stay under 80,000 words
• Middle Grade: 35,000 and no more.

Keep in mind: a chapter can be any length, but since most people read around 2,000-2,500 words in 15 minutes, keep them a manageable size.

Picture books are generally 32 pages in length with less than 1,000 words.

Second step: What genre do I want to write?

Fiction Genre List

• General
• Action & Adventure
• Alternative History
• Anthologies (multiple authors)
• Biographical
• Christian
• Coming of Age
• Contemporary Women
• Crime
• Cultural Heritage
• Dystopian
• Erotica/Gay & Lesbian
• Fairy Tales, Folk Tales, Legends & Mythology
• Family Life
• Family Saga
• Fantasy
• Gay
• Ghost
• Gothic
• Graphic Novels & Comics
• Historical
• Holidays
• Horror
• Humorous
• Legal
• Literary
• Magical Realism
• Medical
• Metaphysical & Visionary
• Mystery & Detective
• Noir
• Occult & Supernatural
• Political
• Psychological
• Romance
• Religious & Ethnic
• Satire
• Science
• Sea Stories
• Short Stories (multiple authors)
• Short Stories (single author)
• Sports
• Superheroes
• Thrillers
• Urban
• Visionary & Metaphysical
• War & Military
• Westerns

As for non-fiction there are oodles of choices from Antiques & Collectibles to True Crime and everything in between. For my purposes I'll be focusing on fiction, or possibly memoir, or even better a fictionalized memoir!

Third step: what do I want to express, teach, convey, explain?

I've been told to write what I read.

I like many things and it would be fascinating to see a combination of it all put together! My most favourite recent fiction books was GONE GIRL: the pacing, the character development, the story, it all came together so well. That is not to be duplicated! And yes, I will go see it in the theatre.

On my current "to read" and pre-order list:

• First Frost - I love the whimsy and characters in Sarah Addison Allen's books
• Nightbird - Alice Hoffman has a talent for making the ordinary extraordinary
• Happiness for Beginners - Katherine Center is so adept at making her audience notice the small glorious details in the day-to-day

On my "to read" pile in the basket next to my chair:

• The Rosie Effect - because The Rosie Project was brilliant - so well crafted - this is sure to please, I hope!
• Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good - oh how I love visiting the people and stories of Mitford, NC wth Jan Karon.
• What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions - fun to read in small doses!
• What I Know for Sure - it's Oprah, and though it may not be a popular opinion, I adore her
• E-Cubed: Nine More Energy Experiments That Prove Manifesting Magic and Miracles Is Your Full-Time Gig - because E-Squared was fabulous it's going to be fun to see what this

In my "keep by the bedside" pile:

• The Desire Map which teaches me new things each time I read it
• The Gifts of Imperfection an integral part of my complete transformation back to myself
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - because Maya Angelou was simply brilliant
• A Pad of Paper
• A Pencil

Even with all of that, it is often tempting to back and read the wonderful books of my past. I have recently realized were almost exclusively mysteries, from my start with Nancy Drew to the works of Scott Turow, Robert Ludlum, Ken Follet, Sue Grafton, Barbara Erskine, John Grisham, Father Andrew Greeley, Lawrence Sanders and more. Oh so many characters, stories, plots and places!

At any rate, I'm well armed with a fresh pack of post-it notes, a fully charged laptop, new multicoloured highlighters and endless resources via Google! Now, to avoid distraction and settle on an idea .....

hello monday | 140

hello new schedule. chloé was taking three grade 11 courses (one year up) and had a full academic schedule with no lighter or fun breaks in intensity though the day. something had to give. german was swapped out and this week is her first week of dance - ever!

hello desire map workshop. i'm all signed up and have been waiting to participate for weeks! yesterday was the first of six virtual workshops. this is going to be great - well worth waiting for this workshop.

hello ultrasound. ugh. not my favourite.

hello good friends. so i could attend chloé's optimates dinner, friends are taking caden to the mandatory volleyball agm. funny how i need more help now that i have less kids!

hello vitamin iv drip. things must be working, i no longer have the constant taste of vitamins in my mouth!

hello psychic reading. following a hunch, i have a reading this week.

hello back to see my life coach. this sesson includes all things metaphysical and i'm enjoying learning so much wonderful stuff! pendulum. cards. crystals.

hello plans. so much is going on. workshops. photo walks. i'm focusing on getting back to my creative pursuits.

hello wicked. everyone is heading into toronto to see the show!

hello thanksgiving long weekend. claire is coming home from university. cole will be out of boarding. chloé and caden have open schedules. even with all of that free potential family time, i know they'll be very excited to simply sleep the whole time home! they'll be able to do a lot of that, but really, it'll be time spent with family -  here and in toronto.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

4 Simple Goals | 10-14

PROJECT | Me: The Abridged Version

In one week I'll be back in the classroom - a virtual one, with one of my very favourite teachers! Cathy Zielske will be guiding the course Me: The Abridged Version for Project Life™ for 4-weeks starting on October 9th. With all of the changes in my life since I last tackled this project - and, whoot, finished it! - five YEARS ago, I thought it would be a good idea to sign up and complete this version. Fortunately, having taken plenty of Cathy Zielske guided workshops before, I knew this one would not disappoint!

The only thing I am struggling to decide: digital or paper? I ordered the kit from Studio Calico AND downloaded all of the digital art files at Big Picture Classes. I keep vascilating between the two equally inspiring options. Argh! No matter, one way or the other, the album will be completed - and it'll be awesome!

In the meantime, I'm collecting words that resonate in me. Words that speak to who I am today. I have not referenced my last project as I want to start fresh with this project. I started writing out words, and more words - filling up far more than the two pages originally alloted. I think about words in the car and call to leave a voice mail with more words. Then text words to myself as I'm at the grocery store. I've become obsessed with this project and my need to do it accurately and well.

With so many words collected, I've been moving them into a document to define them by how they speak to me. Each word represents just one very small part of me; all together they will only hint at the whole me, but I'll do my best! Once I have it all written out, I'll decide which words speak loudest and they'll be the ones I choose to include in the finished album.

Between creative writing classes and workshops, blog articles, my "One Little Word" grace making way for another guiding word in 2015, defining my core desired feelings via The Desire Map, you'd think I'd be worded out, but I'm finding it actually is the other way around: I'm more inspired and fired up to write and discover and find inspiration - and maybe provide some too!

Words | The Home Key

Recently I started another creative writing course held on Tuesdays in Burlington. Last week I received a note from my instructor, Brian Henry, asking me to do a "Show and Tell" piece for the class. The parameters were broad: pick something to show and then tell about it. Simple enough. Ha! I started the process at least 20 times and finally settled on this one.

SHOW:

TELL:

The Home Key
Creative Writing Class | 500 Words | 30 September 2014

        I look at this small gold house key with cautious anticipation. It may be a small bit of metal with sharp grooves and notches, but it packs an emotional wallop! Will it be the last house key I have on my chain or is it just another one in a collection of many I’ve had over the years?

        According to Dr. Brené Brown, the single emotion people are most afraid of is joy. Seriously. We are collectively conditioned to wait for the other shoe to drop so we never fully appreciate the moments of joy when they are right in front of us. We anticipate with more surety the promise of disaster or, at the very least, failure. Joy is terrifying.

        I don’t want to be afraid of my joy and this house key represents my opportunity to overcome my history, my fear and lean into and fully embrace gratitude. Only then will I fully understand joy.

        The journey to this one key is found in all of the keys before it. The house to which I was born in Saint John, New Brunswick, where my mum was a nurse and my dad worked at the sugar refinery and I spent my days with my grandmother. The tiny two-bedroom townhouse in married student housing in Watertown, Massachusetts, where I moved with my dad, pregnant mum and little sister so my dad could attend school to earn his business degree. The split-level ranch house just outside Cleveland where I was initiated into the lifestyle of quintessential (read: tacky) 1970s suburbia with dads gone through the workweek and cheesy neighbourhood gatherings on the weekends. The house in North Toronto where my mother thought wallpapering the dining room ceiling and putting indoor-outdoor carpet in the kitchen was some kind of interior design statement - it was, and it was not good! The house in the Chicago suburbs with the pool, the ping-pong table and the basketball court in the barn. The other house in Toronto, which would become home-base until I left for boarding school six years later. Then there were no keys since in the all-girls school of 165 students the idea of privacy was absurd. My rooms at university had keys but who ever thought to use them? We never had anything of any value to steal so why bother locking up? My first job took me to Buffalo, New York and a full-on transient existence with various roommates and a boyfriend or two. There were plenty of house keys but the only keys that mattered opened office doors. A favourite key was the one I got when I bought my first house after my transfer to Calgary: a sweet bungalow where I housed my fiancé-then-husband, my first baby and a second soon after. Another transfer brought us to Ontario where I had three more keys to houses that welcomed two more children, survived one bout with cancer, endured one near-death experience, lost one business, and initiated one divorce.

        This key? This key is so much more than a small bit of metal with sharp grooves and notches. This key opens the door to a home as I no longer live in just a house. This key opens the door to my home.

* * * * *

I have always felt, to my bones, that more than anything else, I am a writer.

Growing up I was mocked, ridiculed and told regularly that my idea of being a writer was simply ridiculous. I was too sensitive, I had my head in the clouds, I had to come down to earth and make something of myself. When I was 15 my mother took it upon herself to take one of my hidden works and read it aloud at the Thanksgiving table. I was mortified and never wrote with the same freedom of expression again. It was time to stop dreaming and focus on more practical pursuits. Until now.

Lately I've found some workshops and courses that have lead me to believe that maybe, just maybe, I can tap back into the writer buried deep inside.