SILENCE YOUR INNER MEAN GIRL
I don't know that, as an over-40 adult, I've ever had my inner mean girl in my head. There are plenty of real-life over-40 mean girls in my life that I cannot seem to avoid, but I've never really experienced the self-sabotage that seems to plague many of my middle-age peers. Now, I have experienced plenty through my adolescence and pre-40s through which time I was plagued by self-doubt, inner-mean and self-sabotage. These past couple of years has had me grow beyond judgment, defensiveness, criticism and expectation of myself and others. I've become kinder and far more patient and compassionate. I like to be liked. That being said, I am content to have that be a small group: those who like me for me.
The assignment: Today, when your inner mean girl starts to open her mouth, I want you to tell her that you will not listen to her. Our faults and imperfections are what make us special. Remember that today.
I have a pretty clear view of myself. I appreciate my flaws and imperfections as they are testament to the resilience and determination that has got me where I am today. I like that I'm not like everyone else. I enjoy being a work in progress.
One niggling demon?
Would I like to be slimmer? Yes, but thyroid disease and the test results that seem to evade medical answers are thwarting that effort; for now. In the meantime I've focused my time on taking the medications I need, buying clothes that fit, eating food that is good for me and exercising regularly. I engage in the habits of slimmer people in preparation (hope) for the day my body and my practice are in alignment with each other.
My perspective comes from living here in suburbia where there are so many examples of indugence and envy and unhappiness it makes me feel relieved that I am okay with my life where it is, now. Am I perfect? Not by a long shot, nor do I profess to or want to be. I watch so many women with such wonderful spirit, charm, intelligence, beauty and ability spend their days eating themselves alive with competition, delusion, want and need to see life as half full - or believe the myth that the grass is greener. I'm different from many of my peers (note: not friends) in that I see my life very clearly, my children clearly, my circumstance clearly with zero envy or feeling of depravity or scarcity. I am so incredibly fortunate. Do I drive a posh vehicle? No. Do I have a multi-room mansion with pool, fountain and/or lake view? No. Do I drip with jewels or designer clothes and shoes? No. Do I take exotic trips to Europe, Asia, South America, the Galapagos? No. Many do. Many talk about how they can't with such focus on envy and want it is almost painful to hear. No. It is painful to hear. My heart breaks for those who feel such visceral want.
I am grateful, content and blessed to have more than I'll ever need. I live in hope it will always be so.
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Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!
