Embrace Life

hello monday | 113

hello super soul sunday. finally we can watch own programmed shows on the oprah channel here in canada. crazy but true. her interview with gary zukov? so good. lessons: lean in to living an authentic life - to use your personality to serve your soul. profoundly brilliant.

hello lunch with friends. love!

hello reading week. crunch time for claire! the end is near.

hello b-school. we're at the midway point. what a turbulent and challenging exercise! the minute i think i know something, i don't. i am not enjoying the process but i am learning a ton and that i like.

hello april. i'm hoping for warmer temperatures ahead!

hello volleyball championships. off to waterloo with caden and his team. go thunder!

hello peel music festival. both cole and chloé are competing this year. such a great experience.

hello blurb. 2013 of the blog has been "slurped" and i'm enjoying the process. my own personal memoir/scrapbook.

hello hiatus. my upcoming schedule is crammed on fridays. looks like i'll be missing pilates and meditation at igita for the next while - until june!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

Reflection | March 2014

Most of March was "break". All of the kids who live at home had break from school from March 7 to March 24. They were (of course) thrilled. Caden started his month at a volleyball tournament that brought us to Welland. It's a good luck facility for our boys as they fared very well and came in 4th! Even more fun was coming home to dinner with friends at the Oakville Club. Big Brother Canada started and the kids are enjoying it almost as much as they did the first season. My Desire Map book club has changed format somewhat with one meeting each month and one "field trip". Great group! Cole went to the Young The Giant concert in Toronto with his friend (nope, not that kind) Charlotte. We headed back into the city for Caden to go to "The Two Worlds of Charlie F" at the Princess of Wales Theatre with Cole while the rest of the family hung out at Auntie Beth's place mid-town. That was followed by a fabulous dinner at Scaramouche with Grampy. Chloé had her very first pedicure. Pretty pink toes hopefully make up for painful ingrown nails. I had my final "sleep" pod and am now enjoying "metabolism" pod sessions. Well, not so much enjoying as I can't imagine anyone actually liking 80*C for 40 minutes at a time! We were back to Auntie Beth's to deliver Caden for a sleepover. He and his cousin left for Florida the next morning with Grampy. While Caden was gone I went into a "file frenzy" collecting every scrap of paper in my home and putting it in the right place. HUGE project, glad it's done. Well, almost done, paper is always a work-in-progress. The truck was DEAD! So happy to have a great relationship with our mechanic (Caden's former hockey coach) and he bailed us out with a new battery. I managed to watch all three seasons of Scandal via internet - and almost hit our bandwith limit! Cole, Chloé and my friend Jill, joined me at Art Battle 103 at Q. E. Park Community Centre at Claire's suggestion. It was fabulous and Chloé bought a painting! Cole and I watched "To Sir With Love" and it is he who thinks it should be mandatory watching at school. Good idea! Chloé had a great lunch in Burlington with girlfriends she met at OELC last summer. We went to collect Caden in Toronto and Cole went off via VIA Rail to visit Claire at Queen's for St. Patrick's Day in Kingston. A bit of a change of pace had Auntie Beth and family visit us out in the 'burbs. So fun! I am proofreading resumés for Claire and Cole who hope to finding jobs this summer. Sad news was received that a new friend is moving due to a business transfer. Plans are in the works to stay in contact. Caden managed to spend HOURS on one game system or another and had friends keep him company :) Cole started P90X and all I know is he's a sweaty mess each evening. I admire his dedication and ability to self-motivate. Chloé is a beautiful girl and has (finally) fully embraced that she is not like other girls and that's okay. A huge bag of clothes was donated. Spring is almost here! You know how I know? Baseball evaluations were held and Caden participated. I adore my kids, but no one was happier than I was to have them back in school and my return to some semblance of routine. A singing recital with Chloé and Cole performing, was held at Walton United in preparation for the Peel Music Festival. Upon his return to school, Caden was given the "Little Mermaid" script - he has been cast as King Triton in the middle school production in May. This is going to be great! All of the blog for 2013 was "slurped" to Blurb and I'm in the process of turning it all into a book. 306 pages so far! Further proof was provided that "school colours" - the equivalent of MVP - is an arbitrary award and has nothing to do with merit. Disappointing. The last tournament before Provincials was in Stouffville and I can hope it means they've worked out all of the kinks for the upcoming tournament in Waterloo. It took some convincing to get me there, but I did enjoy attending the World Accord Gala at LeDome. There was enough of a thaw, finally, that the Christmas lights were finally put away. Up to Brampton for the first Peel Music Festival performance. Lots of work on the calendar to juggle new rugby, new softball, and new pilates schedules.

In the lives of the kids:

Claire | Played host to Cole for St. Patrick's Day in Kingston. No one can know how incredibly proud I am that my kids get along with each other. I know that this concept is normal in most families, but not in mine. It makes my heart happy.

Cole | A misplaced passport, not seen since his return from the Senior Arts Trip to New York City in November made for a busy break getting photos taken and forms filled. He's off to Europe this summer and needs his paperwork completed and ready to go!

Chloé | She finally agreed that wearing a uniform all day then changing into sweats once home is just not working for her. So? After a bit of research, she decided GAP was the look she wanted so we went to Mapleview and I waited TWO HOURS in the change room for her to pick out new clothes. So cute!

Caden | Sings when he's on his computer. He sits at the dining room table doing work (or playing games) and all of a sudden you hear riduculously low, kind-of-melodic-droning sounds. It takes a while to recognize the song, but when you do it's clear he is singing at least an octave lower than the song was written.

Life in general:

Weather | Late in the month we finally climbed into positive temperatures. We had freak storms dropping 15cm+ of snow upon us the day after Caden few to Florida. The underground garage is still slick, covered in ice.

News | Our Canadian loonie dropped below 89 cents U.S. for the first time in years. Russia seized Crimea from Ukraine and we're waiting for the fallout. Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 went missing. Seriously. The resulting "search" just proves how big the world really is and how much fiction is the ability for security forces to really keep an eye on everything. Kind of comforting. Olivia Chow entered the race for Mayor of Toronto. Huge mudslide in Washington State. Heartbreaking.

Sports | Appleby won silver at the OFSAA hockey tournament which is amazing given that they won only one game the whole regular season - the girls won bronze at their tournament. March Madness is not a big thing in our home, but for Mercer to beat Duke? That was a big deal. Watching a lot of golf and using the telecasts to warm our souls.

Discovery | I can order from Staples online and have big file boxes and other office supplies delivered directly to my home. Fantastic! I can manage to acclimate myself to 40 minutes in 80*C without gasping for air. I will never live without a wireless printer ever again.

Looking forward, goals I want to keep at the forefront include:

Work | March Break was not condusive to getting much done! I'm looking forward to dedicating real and productive time to Marie Forleo's B-School in April since no time was spent on it in March!

Health | I'm in a pretty good practice: eat well, drink plenty of water, metabolic pod, daily meditation, pilates 2x week. Now I need to add in some walking once the sidewalks are less icy! Daily stretching is also something I have to do.

Home | Its coming together as the decorative columns are (finally) scheduled to be removed!

Fun | With the better weather should come more opportunity for fun outside. Certainly it brings lots of sports to watch and cheer: softball, rugby, baseball, and dragonboat.

Me | My theme lately has taken on a "let go" and "get real" vibe. I'm liking it! Thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve me are being left behind without explanation or apology. 

* * * * *

A couple of years ago I consistently wrote up posts summing up the month that had just past. Then life got both complicated and overwhelming, so much so I was just going from day-to-day in complete survival mode. With this new year I'm getting back into the practices of my past that I have missed.

Happier You | Day 31

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS

That word DREAM is scary! Being a pragmatist, I always used the word "goal" instead. By way of "wish", I'm starting to warm to the word "dream" as I start to welcome what it represents. The added bonus of actually dreaming for the first time in a decade has made it easier, too!

The assignment: If you have a dream and want to see it come to fruition, what is stopping you?

Right now the only thing standing in the way of my dream is getting my taxes out of the way. With the help of friends, I've found a great accountant and expect things to be done and moving along within the next few months. You see, once the taxes are caught up and filed, I'll be able to get a business number and purchase the inventory and all the delicious ingredients I need for my new business venture.

In the meantime I'm building a website, a product list, a design, a manifesto, a clear and focused idea of what it is I want to represent. All of the tedious and hard work is being completed right now in preparation for more hard work later!

I'm also taking a writing course. I've always wanted to be a published writer and I have plenty of friends who tell me to write a book - or many. I'm a bit more cautious. I'm the type that needs more than just a road map. I need to know which way to turn in the parking lot and exactly which door to park at in order to be exactly where I need to be. Now I'm taking a course in a topic I understand: memoirs and everyday stories. Perfect! From there I'll move on to more challenging things, but I am really enjoying this process.

The other thing I've just done is LET GO of things I thought I wanted to do - but don't. False dreams are almost worse than having no dreams. It's learning to discern between it all to figure out what dreams to persue and which to let go. So, to me it's a matter of being REAL, really real about what your dreams are and go for them.

Fabulous!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 30

CHANGE THE SCENERY

It used to be that I could go for days without talking to another adult. Those days are done!

The assignment: How do you like to change the scenery? Where do you like to go?

My day works in alignment with the school day, which around here goes from 8AM to 5PM on most days. I have split my days in half. My mornings are spent writing, creating and meditating; my afternoons are spent moving and socializing. I have a hard time remembering life without reformer Pilates, Kundalini meditation, yoga flow and Yame Sushi on Kerr! Those wonderful teachers and people new to my life. Far from the "skinny bitches" I was lead to believe populated places like spas and yoga studios. Okay, there are a few and competition can be found everywhere, but they do not represent the majority, or the mindset.

Weekday evenings bring something different, but there is an awful lot more socializing and engaging with adults than ever before. I have some fabulous veteran friends whom I love and greatly appreciate. I've also made an effort to build a tribe of new friends who are friends out of desire and not out of habit. It's been wonderful.

I enjoy people who like who I am. I enjoy people who challenge me. Those who bring something new to the table. Someone not afraid to stand up for their beliefs - not to change mine, but to represent theirs in politics, religion, parenting, all the hot-button topics. The key is respect and kindness.

The days of snearing judgement are gone and all of those (many) who brought that negative and mean-spirited energy are gone, too. My scenery has completely changed because my mindset has changed. I am confident and, though still tempered with reality and careful consideration, I smile and laugh a lot more.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 29

GET OFF THE ROLLER COASTER

Years ago I was told in no uncertain terms that our lives were filled with too many peaks and valleys and it would be preferable to live a life that looked more like: _______. Hmm. A flat line. I don't think "life" looks that way. Death maybe, but not life. I am happy to be back on track and fully connected with myself and those around me. Years of emotional detachment and unrealistic demands took their toll.

The assignment: Get off the roller coaster.

Ironically, with the absense of the one making demands, our lives have become far more calm on an every day basis with the occasional peak and valley. The ups and downs are ever-present and I'm grateful as it shows me and my kids to appreciate all that we have!

Ah kids. With a house full of them: 18, 17, 15* and 14* there is always some form of drama or another that I cannot avoid getting involved in, though I do my very best to stay on the perifery if possible and provide guidance only when it's requested. They have a lot to navigate: school and marks, sports and activities, their mama dating, relationships with family and friends, romances and gender drama, they are, at this stage, navigating the full array of all life has to offer.

I have taught them to do their best to clearly decide in which battles to engage. Not to be selfish, but to decide which outcomes (positive or negative) would benefit or impact them; and, from there figure out the course of action that best serves them.

The beauty of people, like the energy of the universe, is we are ever expanding. With every experience you are never the same person after than you were before. Everyone is errevocably changed with every change we label good or bad. There is never any "getting off" the roller coaster, but there is plenty of leaning in and enjoying the ride.

* within the season

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 28

PLAN YOUR MEALS

We eat well. Just not well planned. After growing up in and then spending 20+ years in the grocery industry, the one thing I know is food. We eat well chosen, healthy selections found mainly on the perimeter of our grocery store - lots of fresh meat, produce, dairy and little processed (aka plastic) food.

The assignment: Do you plan your meals? What works for you and your family?

I am awful at planning our meals. Every time I think I have a handle on it, I don't. We live across the street from a big grocery store (sounds terrible, but it's not bad!) and I use it as my extra refrigerator. I have a list of "staples" we have on hand at (almost) all times. We only run out when we need things most! At least it's a quick walk for whatever is missing. I'd like to focus more on having things here at the house for more spontaneous meals. I don't know if planning will help as much as simply having things on hand.

Time to change things up!

 

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

things we do | spring clean

The big closet purge with Chloé. It took a couple of hours, and a couple of bags, but it was worth it!

I live in chaos.

Over this past year I've implemented some changes around the house to reduce the clutter, but it seems as soon as one area is addressed another becomes the focus of my attention. A couple of projects were completed that have greatly added to my sense of calm: the installation of drawer inserts in my kitchen cupboards; the purchase of new slim hangers and the purge of my closet; and, the complete purge and organize of all child ephemera that had been housed in my room are now in big file boxes.

So, while I live in chaos, my kids do not seem to see it! Does that mean it's not there?

Sigh. (Yes, the mama kind of heavy sigh!)

Adding to my sense of chaos is an unnatural need to keep mindless everyday ephemera. I started "Project Life" a couple of years ago and in order to do it "the right way" I had to start keeping ticket stubs, food wrappers, cards and other things that are not in my nature to keep around. I've recently decided that I'm no longer willing to do "Project LIfe" like everyone else and I'm tired of the paper/garbage I have collected. I've converted to 100% digital and though I'm still in the habit of collecting ticket stubs, cards and other things, I'm trying to remember to toss the trash!

There are a lot of things that simply need to be purged. This list of 37 Things to Toss was just the beginning!

This is a busy time of year with musical competitions, baseball, rugby, softball and play rehearsals, but I'm hoping to get a few things completed:

• Organize and sweep out the underground garage - implement functional recycling system
• Tidy and make the back deck 100% functional - replace sectional and buy fun, bright pillows
• Buy planters for the front entry and back deck
• Clear out "extra" closets on 3rd floor (I have cases of Mona Vie - free to anyone who wants them, just pick them up!)
• Be ruthless in all bathrooms and clear out all cupboards
• Build, stain and install wall shelves for pictures up the main stairway

All projects completely do-able. I just need some muscle and cooperation!

I do believe that I'll feel like there is less chaos when I address the one file bin left - the undone "projects". Once I let go of those that are either repetitive or won't serve me in my new direction I think I'll feel less disheveled.

Happier You | Day 27

VACATION IN YOUR OWN HOMETOWN

Over our March Break our plan was to take a few day trips around our town. Take in some things we had never done before.

The assignment: What do you love to do in your hometown?

Simple. I like to live in my hometown.

It took a very long time, but in the last couple of years I finally feel like I belong here in my town, the town in which I've chosen to raise my kids and put down roots. It still feels a bit weird as I'm a big city girl having been raised in downtown Toronto where I would walk or take public transit wherever I wanted to go. There were theatres and museums and all kinds of cultural activities. My life was held within a few square kilometres and that was fine with me!

We moved out of the suburban, vehicle-required, area of town to the more urban core where we can walk to wherever we need to go. Groceries, easy. Restaurants are plentiful. Schools, dry cleaners, Starbucks, florist, post office, hairdresser, parks, rink, sailing/tennis club, all are within easy walking distance. It really is spectacular and exactly where we need to be for the stage we are at right now.

If I need to go to theatres, museums, art galleries and other cultural activities I am a 40-minute drive from what I consider to be my hometown, Toronto. In the meantime there is plenty to keep us active here in Oakville.

Happily, over the March Break, we were able to take in the best of both locations with great food, concerts, plays and performances, art galleries and art competitions, spa days and discovering new restaurants. Lots of fun!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

list | 07 feel healthy

52 LISTS | Week Seven | list the things that make you feel healthy (mind, body & soul) 

My new practice of daily meditation . drinking at least 4 litres of water each day . realizing I am worthy of being at the top of my list . practicing kindness . deep cleansing breaths . my power fruit smoothie in the morning . daily affirmations . clean eating . reformer pilates classes with Jackie and Jill . days at the ocean . recognizing (and then the mindful ridding myself of) anything that is not good for me . learning and practicing patience . getting 8+ hours of sleep each night . turning off the computer for one full day each week . taking my meds daily . trusting my personal compass . celebrating every day without a cigarette - I've reached day 4683 . choosing to walk rather than drive . clean laundry . surrounding myself with people I like and a few who challenge me . music that makes me happy . clearing clutter . eating when I'm hungry and sleeping when I'm tired . getting myself lost in novels . leaning into resistence and sore muscles . cool and sunny days, with a hint of a breeze . pushing past my limits . big hugs . a return trip to Canyon Ranch

What about you? What makes you feel healthy?

* * * * *

Do you want to join in? Head over to Moorea Seal and check out the 52 Lists.

* * * * *

The 2014 collection:

1 of 52 | 2 of 52 | 3 of 52 | 4 of 52 | 5 of 52 | 6 of 52 | 7 of 52 | 8 of 52 | 9 of 52 | 10 of 52 | 11 of 52 | 12 of 52 | 13 of 52 | 14 of 52 | 15 of 52 | 16 of 52 | 17 of 52 | 18 of 52 | 19 of 52 | 20 of 52 | 21 of 52 | 22 of 52 | 23 of 52 | 24 of 52 | 25 of 52 | 26 of 52 | 37 of 52 | 38 of 52 | 39 of 52 | 40 of 52 | 41 of 52 | 42 of 52 | 43 of 52 | 44 of 52 | 45 of 52 | 46 of 52 | 47 of 52 | 48 of 52 | 49 of 52 | 50 of 52 | 51 of 52 | 52 of 52

 

 

Happier You | Day 26

A SMOOTH SEA NEVER MADE A SKILLFUL SAILOR

I can handle anything.

In my life the seas have not often been calm and for that I have learned to be grateful. There is a lesson in everything - good and bad - and I look for the opportunity within the chaos to take whatever good is available in what can appear challenging.

The assignment: How do you deal with stormy seas?

In general I just bear down and deal with what is thrown at me the best way I can. I have been given plenty of opportunity to perfect this technique.

One thing I have learned is that many people react in a very negative way to the how I manage to handle challenges and stress, with seeming ease. They don't know that from birth to my mid-teens I was provided a ton of practice - my mother was not a nice woman. Years ago there was the mum at playgroup who felt compelled to insist that while my husband was out of town for business for weeks on end that he couldn't possibly be faithful and I should spend more time worrying about it. My biggest callenge to date was my youngest nearly drowning while I was away from home and the subsequent coma and rehabilitation for which I was fully present and accountable. There was the whack-job client who went out of her way to smear me to anyone who would listen, and became offended when I made a (futile) attempt to defend myself. Spending the last seven consecutive years in Middle School where I have experienced some of the most excruciatingly mean behaviour I've ever witnessed and it's affect on each of my four children. My recent divorce and being awarded sole custody has brought with it it's fair share of opinions - and advice.

I used to deal with it all very badly. Maybe not so everyone could see, but I felt like an old fashioned pin ball machine and I was the ball bouncing all over the place with no direction amidst bright lights and pounding noise. I simply reacted the best I could to all of the crazy around me.

Then I learned.

Though I often cannot recognize the lesson in the midst of the storm, I am able to immediately recognize what is going on and quickly let go of what I cannot control and I do my utmost to not make anything personal. I find myself repeating "this too shall change" and it brings me comfort to know that I've managed to live for years on end in a state of stress, but it did change. Everything changes.

People act badly based on their own experience. It has little, or more often nothing, to do with me. Some people behave the way they do out of habit or ignorance or both. People project their fears onto others. With some I've learned it is just better for me to armour-up but for most I just let them have their say and not engage in motivations that I don't understand. The only time I get truly fierce is when the behaviour of others directly impacts my kids.

With every big or small experience, once the skies have cleared, I sit down and evaluate what happened, what to take away, and what to throw away.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Wishcasting | 05, 06, 07 & 08

WISHCASTING | 05 What inspiration do you wish to FOLLOW?

I am told I tell a good story. This has always stuck me as curious as the only stories I tell are the truths of my life. And then, once told they are often forgotten - very certainly the nuances, subtleties and humour of the situations are lost forever. I am inspired by everyday happenings and the everyday magic found within those events. I'd like keep the nuance, subtleties and humour, and write stories much like those of Alice Hoffman, Jan Karon, Sarah Addison Allen, Katherine Center and Alice Munro. I wish to follow, record and explore, the everyday inspiration that surrounds me.

What about you? What inspiration do you wish to follow?

WISHCASTING | 06 What do you wish to be GENTLE with?

My opinions of others - their motivations, their actions, their words. I was raised to be critical and judgmental of those around me. I have some ingrained habits that are hard to break but break I must. I need to remember that people do what they do and say what they say purely based on their own situation with very little consideration for the people around them. It is okay to be guarded and aware, but not okay to be harsh or unkind. I wish to be gentle with my opinions.

What about you? With what do you wish to be gentle?

WISHCASTING | 07 What is your DEEPEST wish?

My deepest wish is for my children to see me in my real physical form, not the body I am in right now. I feel like some kind of alien being ate me up and I'm stuck in the middle of a strange heavy suit. I wish to resemble myself again and have my children see that woman. I wish to be me again.

What about you? What is your deepest wish?

WISHCASTING | 08 Where do you wish to grow your CONFIDENCE?

Confidence has never been something I've ever had in short supply. Because of this reality it came as a surprise when faced with a recent social situation. Though, of all things, social situations make me twitchy. I am an introvert by nature and putting myself "out there" is the hardest thing for me to do. This is especially true in situations where I might encounter people who are friends with my ex-husband or his partner (a woman I've known for well over a decade). I'd like to go to any of the events I want to attend and not give a damn who might be there. Maybe next time!

What about you? Where do you wish to grow your confidence?

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These are responses to the prompts found in Jamie Ridler's 52-week e-course: What If You Filled Your Year With Wishes. Though I'm more goal-oriented than a dream-believer, I have a fondness for wishes. Recently, there has been much heart-work done and I can be more authentic, more gentle and more kind with myself and my wishes.

Happier You | Day 25

CELEBRATE THE EVERY DAY

I celebrate my every day because I have done everything in my power to turn my life into one worth living and enjoying: my heart is full of gratitude and joy knowing the positive and productive life I've achieved for me and my kids. It's even a category here on the blog!

The assignment: how can you add more celebrating into your everyday life?

That being said, I think I could do more to show my kids how to make every day special in some way. Sometimes we get too caught up in our routine and things need to be shaken up a bit:

• maybe add some whipped cream to the hot chocolate?
• how about s'mores made on a weeknight?
• lighting candles on the dinner table?
• dessert (rarely served) after dinner?
• a mid-week mental health day with a trip to the AGO or ROM?
• favourite meals for a week?
• pajama saturday where we all stay in and watch kid-chosen movies?
• buy flowers?
• visit Dairy Queen for blizzards?

Not earth shaking ideas, but a few things that just make life occasionally fun and light.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

ONE little WORD | 2014 March

Just in time, I got my dreamboard completed!

As I mentioned in a previous post, it is time for me to keep it real.

For my dreamboard, the images changed a lot from the start of this assignment to the completion of it. I had to abandon the idea of using magazine photos and words as none of them were quite right. They were the dreams and ideas of others and just did not resonate in my heart. Instead, I sat quietly and wrote a list of images that would represent what I would like to manifest in my ideal present - and near future. I then proceeded to download images from internet and combined them in Photoshop Elements. I created a board of images that reflect exactly where I am right now - not where I am expected to be or in any warped competition with people who do not matter - and where I would like my present to take me.

Though my board does not use my one little word for this year, everything on it boils down to grace.

ONE little WORD is a 12-month workshop created by Ali Edwards. With monthly prompts, I use photos, text and other good stuff to record how my guiding word has shown up in my life through the year and my personal growth as a result. Keep your word visible with me, join in here.

Happier You | Day 24

GET SOME REST

I love sleep and my bed is one of my favourite places to be! I don't understand people who compete on the premise that running on as little sleep as possible makes you a more productive, successful or ambitious person. Mind you, I live in the land where people compete about everything!

I knew there was something wrong with me. I had done everything I could to set myself up for success: new mattress, bamboo sheets, overhead fan, window open a crack, dark room and still I did not dream. At all. I thought maybe I had a sleep disorder and went to the sleep clinic. I was told I rarely hit REM and often wake myself up before I hit that stage so of course I never had dreams. As a creative person that reality made me incredibly sad. What to do? I had tried everything! Then a new spa opened with a "pod". I have to tell you, desperate times! I went up and had 12 sessions in the sleep pod. Within two sessions I was dreaming, regularly. Now after a dozen I am feeling fabulous. Whether it's real or a simple placebo effect I do not care. I am dreaming!

The assignment: how do you make sure that you get plenty of rest? How do you recharge?

I have a pretty good pattern to encourage rest - for me and my kids. Most week night evenings around here are pretty low-key. With rare exception, activities end and have us at home by little after 8PM. Time is spent with kids completing their homework, cleaning up the dinner dishes, watching television or simply talking about our days which includes current events (in the world and in their worlds) and upcoming plans and ideas. I shut down - unless I'm on a writing or creating binge - at 10PM and head up to my bedroom. Sometimes I read, sometimes I watch television, sometimes I just go to sleep.

To me it is critically important for all of us to get at least 7-hours of sleep each night. Teenagers (and middle-aged women) need as much as possible and I really do believe they grow in their sleep. I'm told it's key to weight loss and I'm doing the best I can on that front. Some nights we manage up to 9-hours and on the weekend, unless there is something planned, the kids are able to sleep all night and all day if they want. My kids work exceptionally hard. Sleep is not a reward, it is a necessity!

It may sound impossible, but I rarely make plans for the weekend. We are not anti-social, but the idea of recharging is critically important and I want to reinforce that practice for as long as my kids are in my home and actually do as I ask!

Today is the last day of March Break, the perfect opportunity for resting and recharging! Our 18 straight days of break comes to an end and we will focus all of our energy on the final term of the year. The kids are ready. We spent the last couple of weeks engaging in adventure, basking in sunshine wherever it could be found, lounging around, purging clutter and spring cleaning, pacing our time and energy, practicing patience and taking care of ourselves by eating well, moving often and sleeping a lot, lunches with friends & family, movies out at the theatre, dinner at our local club. We collectively chose to put ourselves first. It was wonderful! We are completely recharged.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

hello monday | 112

hello back to school. eighteen days of march break comes to an end. busy term ahead begins!

hello driving. our routine starts but with it a change. cole is doing the driving. kids to vocal lessons. kids to volleyball practice. drive. drive. drive. he's very good.

hello singing. sounds from the shower. sounds from the living room. sounds in the truck. though sounds from anywhere is evidence of joy. more evidence of a competition coming up! i love it when singing comes from my kids.

hello baseball. evaluations were held on the weekend. love the process! the season is almost here. so very happy, looking forward to hours at the diamond.

hello leadership workshop. i have no idea what it's all about but cole is off to appleby for a day of leadership training. 

hello volleyball. our last tournament before provincials! love this sport.

hello braces. the bottoms are being installed. the boy has to stop eating sticky stuff. i swear he didn't even eat taffy until they were put on!

hello summer plans. all done!

hello dinner with friends. out to a big event and i am a bit nervous! every time i have to face a room full of 'strangers' in a town i've lived for 17 years puts me on edge. i really have to get over it.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

Happier You | Day 23

NO MORE COMPLAINING

I don't know that I complain, well, not any more. I've given up the idea of control and along with it the need to express dissatisfaction when things don't go the way I'd prefer. I have done my very best to come back from drowning in the depths of an exhausting, negative and narcissistic experience. What that relationship did do was force me to take another, more resilient and kinder, point of view.

The assignment: How can you start to change your thinking from negative to positive?

On my journey to mindfulness, I learned a neat trick. I learned to turn shit into sunshine. The benefit of being around someone who is always negative, or living in the past, or in a constant state of scarcity and want, you simply have to say, do and be the complete opposite. All. The. Time.

On my own it was harder, I had no one to repel me into the opposite direction. It was pretty scary and hard to find my own path, an easier way. When my thoughts stray toward "I can't" or "I'm not (good) enough" or general questioning of my own ability to accomplish things and focus on my lack of confidence, I am aware and pull on the rubber band around my wrist and snap it. It smarts! It is a physical reminder to change my train of thought.

At that point I consider the great many things for which I am grateful. Those things are abundant and the list just keeps growing and growing.

Like most people, my moods tend to go in cycles. I don't have my rubberband on my wrist all the time. When my energy is low and I find it easy to slip down that slope to negativity, I remember to grab the rubberband off my bathroom vanity and wear it for a couple of days. It doesn't take long to bring my thoughts back to the positive. It is my preferred place to dwell.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 22

DRINK MORE WATER

It took a long time to get into the habit of drinking water and then the weather changed and I stopped. That's no excuse but it is the reason.

The assignment: do you drink enough water? How do you make drinking water more enjoyable?

When I was drinking enough water it was simple:

• I bought myself a Tervis Tumbler which holds 24 ounces (700mL) with a lid
• I filled our Brita water jug
• I calculated that based on my weight I needed to drink 4 litres* of water every day - six full tumblers of water (I also need to compensate for any coffee or wine I drink by drinking an equal amount in water)
• In the bottom of the tumbler I would put a few slices of lemon, or cucumber, or a few berries to make the experience a bit less blah.
• I recently purchased an ice maker which I know will make the experience better, or at least crisper.

Now I just have to get into the practice of filling up the tumbler with water, ice and fruit and just have it with me most of the day. So far I've had three tumblers today and I feel like I'm about to float away!

* Take your body weight in pounds. Divide that number in half. That number represents the number of ounces you should drink in a day.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 21

CLEAR THE CLUTTER

My nemesis is clutter. I have spent a lot of time organizing, labeling and making sure everything in my house has a proper spot. My favourite project this year was installing drawer systems in all of the big full-of-useless-space in my kitchen. It has completely changed the way the kitchen looks and functions. Bliss.

I often moan and groan over the abundance of paper piles in my house. They seem endless. They are just so visible. And they are all still there. This time, I decided to continue with what has worked and go behind closed doors and focus on another area that desperately needed help.

The assignment: take 10 minutes and tackle that job that has been bothering you.

The linen closet is a disaster. I should say was a disaster.

This project took significantly more than 10 minutes but it was worth it!

I took out all of the pillowcases and sheets - fitted and flat - and the douvet covers and towels and pillows and blankets and washed everything. Then I folded everything. Properly. As a primer, I rewatched the Martha Stewart video on how to fold a fitted sheet and then put together all of the Queen sized sets together and King sized sets together in their coordinating pillow cases. All of the shelves are labelled and everything has been put away properly.

This was a BIG project. Truly exhausting. I've decided that I really don't like removing, washing, folding, replacing linens - certainly not all at one time! To keep things orderly I think I'll find out if it would be cost effective to bring my sheets to the local laundry each week and have them deal with the folding of fitted sheets!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

things we do | uni-task

I suppose I am a multi-tasker simply because I'm a mum. There is always something going on, or multiple somethings. If not involved, I am playing traffic cop trying to have everything run as smoothly as possible with people coming and going, activities happening and the endless meals being planned and prepared.

In my heart and soul I am a uni-tasker.

I find when I'm doing too many things at once that:

1. Nothing gets done properly

2. I am inefficient and scattered

3. It is hard to get back on track

4. I miss deadlines and become forgetful

I known people pride themselves on being brilliant multi-taskers and kudos to them.

I am not.

Recently I spent my March Break filing. It's not that I don't file at other times, I have plenty of files. I had about 6 different "systems" in the house because I've never been able to start-and-finish a project. So? I dedicated as much time as possible, probably 20-24 hours in total, to put together:

BOX 1-4. For each of the kids, I filled to-date, a 64L file box of ephemera, awards, documents spanning their years from Pre-School to Grade 12.

BOX 5. For me, I filled a 32L file box of all current household bills.

BOX 6. For me, I filled to-date, a 32L file box of ephemera collected raising the kids.

BOX 7. Is another 32L box, now home to all of the "important" papers: my health files, house purchase, tax returns, divorce and other legal documents.

BOX 8. For me, I filled a 32L file box of all creative projects. This one is not done as I need a second box - or a bigger one!

This last box will take a while to work through. The box of projects is not complete, but about as done as it can get for the moment as I need to wrap my brain around the projects I want to do and those that have served me well in the past but it's time to let go and move on to new challenges.

The break was the perfect time as I could work when inspiration struck as I wasn't taking kids to school, appointments, activities or anything. It was as uninterrupted time as I'll ever get! Even better? Staples delivers! I ordered boxes, file folders and everything else for the project and it was delivered to my front door.

I feel lighter. The emotional weight of those piles of paper really took a lot out of me. Now? No more burden. Things are filed, I can find what I need whenever I need it. Not only that but through the process:

• Cupboards were emptied and space was made for other things - or maybe left empty?
• The floor of my room is clear and I am reclaiming my space for me!
• Seven garbage bags of c.r.a.p. were eliminated from my home.

Things are far from perfect as paper, in my world, is a constant battle. I believe I've got the upper hand - for now!

Happier You | Day 20

ANALOGUE WEEKEND

There are many people I know who laud the benefits of going off-line and I totally get it. The only problem I have is that some of the programs I use are tied to the internet and cannot be used properly if not connected. I also find the temptation to be almost impossible to avoid as I prefer to type rather than write in longhand my blog articles and story assignments. It is a much more efficient use of my time.

The assignment: go offline - for a day, for a weekend. Maybe it will become a regular thing!

This was easier said than done, that's for sure! I took a look at my weekly calendar and decided to try it. I put my iPhone on "airplane" mode and turned off the Wi-Fi in the house for a day, from 7AM to 5PM. (My kids attend an e-school and need the internet for homework and assignments.) Well, I have to admit, my day was productive!

• I learned to write my blog articles and story assignments in Microsoft Word.
• I used my analogue academic calendar rather than iCal.
• I cleaned up my desktop and some of the files.
• I caught up on my Project Life and organized some digital art files in iPhoto.
• I read part of my book for the Patti Digh Book Club.

I purposely spent my time on the computer so that I could get used to not clicking, and clicking, and then clicking some more. I didn't go down any rabbit holes - just took a few detours. It was all tremendously productive - and enlightening. No cheating, I did not turn on the phone or engage the router. I'm thinking of dedicating one day a week - and maybe a whole weekend a month to turning off the Wi-Fi. It'll definitely be something we do this summer.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

the current | thirty-six

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 8:04pm on 18 march 2014
weather outside: brisk, clear and a mild -1C
mood inside: we're in week 2 of break, content and lazy

drinking a very large glass of water (after a very large glass of sauvignon blanc).

eating as well as i can as often as i can.

embracing this new idea of "letting go". i seem to have come full circle and it's time to embrace the idea of release.

enjoying longer days and warmer-ish temperatures.

cooking only one meal each day. it's time to automate breakfast and lunch - and stick to this practice!

trying to slow down and be more picky about how i spend my time.

missing my stuff! where did i put my wallet? where did i put my keys? and where in blazes is the clicker? argh. it's endless.

feeling excited to greet spring and the nice weather ahead.

listening to the continual hum of the washer and dryer. cole has returned from kingston with a bag full of clothes, caden has sweaty volleyball stuff and the pod makes for plenty of laundry for me three times each week.

watching the voice. this has to be one of my very favourite "reality" shows. i love that the contestants learn a lot from coaches who are competitive, talented and, above all, kind. remarkable.

reading so many books on how to write, i don't know if i can!

wearing clothes that fit. nothing too loose and sloppy. nothing too tight and binding. a whole new selection.

packing away paper. endless piles of paper. i've spent most of the break filing, filing, filing. so good to get everything cleared and organized.

planning summer holidays straight ahead. friends, baseball, camps and camping, volleyball, muskoka, music, adventures, softball, swimming, europe, courses, jobs, visiting, plays, concerts, sightseeing, seashore, parties, barbeques, family. joy.

stopping negative self-talk that has been creeping back into my thoughts. i've done an amazing job in the last couple of years and really need to focus on the victories not the small tweaks that remain. there is no perfect.

wanting to get fit and healthy.

needing to remember that fit and healthy does not mean thin.

wishing to live one pain-free day. then maybe two.

waiting with impatience for my flight to arizona. still too far away!

thinking of how very proud and happy i am that my kids get along together. they are a tight unit and will defend each other from anyone or anything that hurts them no matter how much they might squabble.

enjoying the ladies of my desire map book club. so glad we're sticking together! a tremendous group and i'm thrilled to know them all!

paying camp and activity fees for the summer ahead.

encouraging my kids to be honest in their opinions even if i might disagree with them. they know where i stand and i love that they push me to try to figure out why and the limits.

celebrating the start of the final term of the school year starting early next week!

cultivating open and frank conversations with everyone i know.

marveling at my amazing kids. they have gone through a lot of challenging experiences and have managed to stay kind, centred, humble and polite through it all. the universe keeps testing and they keep proving. happy mama!

anticipating lots of studying, frantic last-minute planning, wet and cold cheering from the stands at rugby and softball games, getting right back into the swing of term 3.  

and tada, a photo from my week:

well, really a photo from summer, but i love that caden is there jumping with everyone from his camp. claire sent it to me earlier today :) gets us all into the mood!

Happier You | Day 19

TAKE A BATH

I am not a bath* person. I totally get the idea and why some people might enjoy it, I do not.

The assignment: how do you like to unwind after a long day?

My unwind routine is pretty much the same whether it is in the house in the winter or out on the deck in the summer:

1. Glass of Sauvignon Blanc or a margarita on the rocks

2. A good book or a pile of magazines

3. A pen and journal

4. Music

All of those things collected, if I'm inside I'll gather up the clickers and my iPhone, flick on the gas fireplace, settle onto the couch, propped with pillows and a throw and get into the flow of my unwind. In summer my spot switches to outside on the back deck where I generally sit at the table rather than on the couch, on hot sunny days the awning is pulled over as protection and the heat simply enjoyed.

I have to admit, I'm well past the point where I'd prefer to unwind outside!

* I am a shower person!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

anticipation | spring

This has been a harsh winter. Usually we have cold spells followed by warmer spells. Warm is a bit of a stretch, but in my world cold equals negative double digits and warm means positive single digits. We've had pretty consistent cold with little chance for melting. The ice has been positively brutal. I know my back deck still has snow that arrived in December. I'm anxious to have every day register on the positive side of the thermometer!

Spring brings with it such a sense of renewal, a chance for a fresh start. I am looking forward to:

• Opening day for major league baseball on March 31st. I love baseball and softball and hope to see some professional games this year. We already have tickets at Fenway for our summer holiday!
• Volleyball championships with Caden and his team. This has been such a great season. So proud of the boys!
• Cleaning and purging of all bedrooms - and closets!
• My becoming-annual trip to Tucson with my sister.
• Finding a new outdoor sectional for the back deck - the one I have is - surprisingly - too small!
• Enjoying activities over at the Oakville Club. Maybe even some tennis and swimming? Certainly plenty of wine and conversation.
• The Masters, what I consider the official start of spring, is being held on April 10 - 13. I will be glued to the CBS coverage - the beautiful cinematography, the hushed voices of commentators, Amen Corner and the playing of spectacular golf. Love it.
• Watching Chloé on the softball diamond and my boys play rugby.
• Opening all of the windows and letting the breeze clean out the stale winter air collected in our home.
• Daily walks.
• Cleaning out the garage. It has simply collected the "extras" of winter.
• Submitting work applications and resumés for Claire and Cole.
• Final exams and moving Claire home from Queen's. Blink and her first year of university is over.
• Detailing the truck. Like the garage, it has born the brunt of the weather with plenty of mud and salt. Even with the promise of rain, it'll be nice to get it all looking and smelling good :)
• The final term of school. It's hard to believe another school year is winding down!
• The Peel and Milton Music Festivals, this year BOTH Cole and Chloé are competing. I am really looking forward to hearing them both perform their pieces.
• Claire and Caden back on the ball diamond with Little League.
• I'm sucking up the fear and will be going out. To one big fundraiser with a bunch of lovely ladies, and then to the Appleby Gala this year. Scary stuff!
• Meetings with the school to deal with a few bumps in the road. Bullying is rampant and so far I have yet to experience any educational institution step up and do right by the victims. You can only tell good kids to "be the better person" so many times. I live in hope.
• Senior Music Night at it's new location. Fingers crossed I'll be able to find it!
• Chloé will turn 15 and Caden will turn 14 - and for three weeks they'll both be 14. It has been a joy and a priviledge to watch them grow up.
• A couple of writing courses for me. So much good stuff!
• Mother's Day brunch with family. As always, we will miss the annual opening day of baseball, but it's worth it.
• The Middle School play, "The Little Mermaid" with Caden playing King Triton.
• Lots of trips with Cole off on a rugby team trip to Quebec, Chloé is going on a music trip to Cleveland to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Caden is heading to Ottawa with his Middle School classmates.
• The prefect selection process for Cole. Hopefully he doesn't get chosen for something other than prefect and then have to do the duties demanded by the position. Live and learn!
• In May, along with the family, we'll be celebrating the graduation of my nephew. A wonderful adventure awaits him!
• I'm off to the seashore with some girlfriends. Ah, ocean time is my favourite.
• Final exams await Cole, Chloé and Caden who will be finishing up grades 11, 9 and 8, respectively. Blink. Closing day will be long and hot - or long and rainy, but this year none of my kids is going to graduate so no pressure!
• I will be graduating from SEVEN CONSECUTIVE YEARS in Middle School. Seriously, I think I deserve a medal :)

This is the biggest season for change around here. As I write this the temperature is still in negative digits, though the sun is shining. By the time Spring gives way to Summer in June we could be well into heat and humidity. The kids are busy with school activities and the pressure of plays, presentations and exams. There's a lot of juggling, accomodating, deep breaths and getting accustomed to change. Lots of growing pains.

Happier You | Day 18

TAKE SOME DOWN TIME

I live a wonderful life. I am making every effort to turn what I love to do into something that pays me well to do it. Writing doesn't feel like work. Research doesn't feel like work. Healthy practices (reformer Pilates, yoga, meditation) doesn't feel like work. Creative experimenting doesn't feel like work. Parenting (and all that comes with it) doesn't feel like work. The idea of "down time" doesn't register with me well as I always manage to turn work into play - even when I was dealing with product development, suppliers, staff and P&L meetings.

The assignment: Take some down time today. Watch a movie, read a good book, stay in bed, go out to brunch, get a mani/pedi. Anything that is for you and makes you stop what you are doing to recharge.

I have a hang up with using headphones. I'm always uncomfortable zoning out on my environment and putting a movie or something on my computer to watch it. Today? My down time is going to be spent productively addressing that ridiculous issue! I've queued up "Downton Abbey" which I've never watched on Netflix and that is how I plan to spend my time today. Who knows? We have six more days of March Break. I may get used to this concept :)

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

real right now | make room for the unexpected

I have an editorial calendar I use to keep me on-track here on the blog. I've been writing my Happier You posts reglarly, but my planned content is suffering a bit. Today? The plan was to post my finished One Little Word inspiration/dream board assignment.

Guess what?

I read the assignment and sat back to ponder it. I have been collecting oodles of magazines since the assignment of last year with plans for a brilliant and ambitious dream board. Travel. Adventures. Relationships. Dreams. Ideas. Then I remembered one of the key parts of my board last year: keep it real.

I am currently in the midst of "keep it real" and "let it go". I don't have to go for the most far-fetched, or most decadent, or most ornate of wants on my board. It comes down to who I am and what I want. What I want is to have every aspect of my life align with my dreams and desires.

What do I really want? What is just out of my grasp? What would make me happy?

Contemplating a dream board from a place of complete contentment than a place of lack is my challenge. There is a lot I need to let go. I was silent for so long and I've indulged in venting. I was alone for so long and I've indulged in venting. I was unhappy for so long and I've indulged in venting.

It's time to just let a lot go and focus both inward and outward.

I will try to stay on track with my One Little Word assignments. That gives me until the end of the month. It may not be on track with my editorial calendar, but it will be in line with my life!

Happier You | Day 17

A HOME YOU LOVE

It took years and I am now, finally, in a house I chose for myself. I love it.

Since we moved in, complete with furniture in December 2011, our home has been a work in progress. Discovered once we moved in, there were a number of things that had to be fixed - I think we're finally at the end of that process. Now I can focus on the things that will not only provide function but bring us joy as well.

The assignment: how do you make your house feel like home?

Everything in my home has to have form as well as function. I am very sensitive to colour and I enjoy the depth it gives each room.

Year round, my home is kept at 20C (68F) - any warmer and I feel like I can't work properly. In the winter, if it's too cold, I put on the fireplace and there are always a few throws around. In the summer it can be a wonderful relief from the often-sticky heat of outside. One of the first things I did was replace the inefficient air conditioner and added two room units to the top floor of the townhouse.

I have huge book shelves in the living room and each of the kids have space in their rooms for books. Not only are they wonderful for absorbing sound, but they make me feel grounded and happy. I love books and am happy my kids do, too.

With four teenagers it's a good idea to have a leather couch. and we do. A big wonderful dark brown sectional with big pillows and throws. It's placed so that you can enjoy the warmth of the fireplace and watch the tv and talk to whoever is in the kitchen.

I have a glass desk which is located in between the kitchen and the living room. In the evening my kids are doing homework or watching television and I am in the midst of the chaos. Just where I want to be!

Throughout my home we have an eclectic mix of art - some formal with ornate frames, some photographs and prints, some fun and funky pieces. There is a flow to it all but I can't tell you what makes it work. It just works!

The walls on the main floor are +10 feet high. They've been painted an icy gray-blue (Puritan Gray, Benjamin Moore). This was an experiment when I first moved in. I put all of my earth toned furniture, rugs and extras, normally housed in a home with earth-toned walls in this cool interior. It works. I like the change - far more subtle than you'd think.

It might be my age and stage, but integral to my happiness in my home is a ceiling fan. I have one in my bedroom and one in the living room. Lighting is also very important - and all must be on a dimmer switch!

My personal space? It's becoming personal again as opposed to a dumping ground for kids things, laundry piles, projects and crap. The best part? I took five of my favourite photos, the most evocative I have taken in the last couple of years, blew them up to 12"x12", framed and hung them above my headboard. My room continues to be a delicious colour of orange. The mattress is new and perfect, my sheets are decadent (made of a bagillion count bamboo) and my pillows are fluffy and multiple. I love the crisp white of my bedding and pillows against the orange and dark brown/oyster accents of the room.

I do not have a green thumb so not many plants are in my house - just a couple of bamboo plants I have not (yet) killed off. I love spring and summer and have plenty of container plants on our back deck as well as two big pots at the entrance to our home. Last year I put together some simple lavender at the front door and everyone remarked how lovely it was to come into the house. I plan on doing the same this year.

The location of our home is very central. The kids can walk to school in one direction, west 1km and walk to the downtown core in the other direction, east 1km. If we don't want to go "all the way" downtown we are in the heart of Kerr Village which has a ton of neat stuff: restaurants, shops and galleries. We have a huge park with ball diamonds, a pool, a rink and tennis courts, north one block away. The lake is a couple of blocks from us heading south. We enjoy the hustle and bustle right outside our door, and the quiet anonymity when sit in the comfort of our home.

Another bonus, we live down the block from a fabulous grocery store. I don't have to fill up the fridge as we go to the store almost every day. The one thing I have noticed is that I miss having a full fridge, the choices it affords as well as the opportunity for more spontaneous gatherings and meals. This is one thing I plan to fix in the near future. Just a few more fresh choices.

As much as they drive me bonkers, I can't seem to get away from the piles! I prefer clutter free, but I love learning and enjoy projects that stretch my creative limits. Piles seem to be part of the deal.

I do feel a purge coming on. Oh how I love Spring Cleaning!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

hello monday | 111

art battle oakville was fabulous!

hello partial routine. all of the after-school activities start up but my kids aren't back to school yet. it's always weird when my kids have longer holidays than other students. free days and active evenings. my life is upside-down.

hello ikea. but the best part is we can go to ikea and not have swarms of people around.

hello caden. welcome home bug! its so nice to have everyone back in the nest at least for a little while.

hello scandal. all caught up from the beginning and ready to see the latest episode. amazing what i was missing. i wonder what other shows are "must see" fluff and nonsense? suggestions welcome :)

hello kingston. university town for st. patrick's day. holding on tight!

hello family visit. so wonderful to have my sister and her kids come out to oakville for a visit. so often we're in toronto. it's nice to share our little part of the gta world.

hello braces. the bottoms are being installed. the boy has to stop eating sticky stuff. i swear he didn't even eat taffy until they were put on!

hello summer plans. all done!

hello pod. never in my wildest dreams, er, nightmares, did i think i could lay down for 40+ minutes in 80*C and not completely melt away. i know something is happening. not sure what exactly, but it's feeling good.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

 

Happier You | Day 16

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH HAPPY PEOPLE

I am an introvert and am greatly affected by the energy of people around me - either in person or online. Out of habit, I have often chosen to surround myself with people who are not good for me, only because I have my own issues of self-worth and confidence. (It's amazing what you can be conditioned to believe when you hear the same criticism over and over again.) Over the last few of years I've worked hard to part ways with toxic and unhappy people who used me as their spiritual and emotional punching bag.

That's not to say it's been easy or that I haven't made mistakes. I've made a few mis-steps and befriended, or continued relationships, with those who reinforce bad habits and negative beliefs about myself.

A few months back I engaged in a simple project: I sat back and took stock of the people who populate my days. I started on Facebook and asked myself a simple question: how does this person make me feel about myself? Happy? Sad? The answer made for an easy Stay? or Go? decision. Once my Facebook "friends" list was purged (no, I don't put people on lists), I moved onto the same theory with the people in my life. I no longer made any attempt to foster friendships or engage with those who made the effort difficult or negative.

Then? Well that was exactly when the good stuff started. I actively curated my tribe. I took the advice I give my kids to "surround yourself only with people who bring out the best in you". It was my turn to live by my own advice.

The assignment: how can you take some of their traits and actions and add them into your own life?

My happy friends are spontaneous and roll, easily, with the chaos found in their days. Often they don't second guess themselves, they simply roll with the situation life throws at them. Enjoying themselves and have that extra glass of wine? Sure, call a cab. Eat that slice of cake or scoop of ice cream? Sure, walk another block. That nasty b*tch at the parent's meeting? Don't engage, just be thankful not to have her baggage.

Most of the happy people I know recognize that the choices made by others have precious little to do with anyone outside themselves.

The happiest of people I've met don't define themselves by their story - or that story they tell over and over again. My happy friends have moved beyond their past: they keep the good and dump the bad. Their past, good or bad, is a simple springboard for their evolvement. They have done a lot of work and have simply (well, not so simple!) re-branded themselves and their attitudes have evolved as their lives have evolved.

Most of the happy people I know realize the glass is always half full. It's a matter of your attitude.

I take it all in. On top of it all, I have to remember to take things less personally and honour that my inner compass is far more in alignment with the person I want to be than the person I might have been.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 15

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Years ago, the phrase printed on the back of the t-shirts given out to the young participants in our baseball camps and programs read "Attitude is a Decision". That was the very best part of coaching those young athletes - the promise they held. The truth is, you can be whatever you choose to be and it starts with your attitude. Fake it? I totally get the concept, but why fake it when you can actually believe it and BE it!

The assignment: try practicing being happy today and see where it goes.

I have a simple request of everyone who populates my home: behave how you want to feel until you feel it then go with it. Much along the lines of the practices learned through my Desire Map and subsequent book club: feel the way you want through the journey to ensure that it's the way you'll feel when you reach your desired destination. Skinny? Well, that may be a challenge. Happy? I can do that!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 14

PRACTICE GRATITUDE

Not so long ago it was a struggle for me to find anything good in my life to dwell upon. I don't know when it happened, but a few years ago I simply decided to reject the habits of my childhood and focus on only the good in my life. Not just give it lip service, but truly believe it. Before I long I was practicing "turning shit into sunshine" and every day since has been better for it. With this new view of the world I have realized that it is the flaws and challenges that give our lives depth. Without the lows how can you appreciate the highs, or even the simply okay days? I have learned some wonderful lessons and am grateful for every one of them, big and small.

The assignment: Find at least one thing to be grateful for today. Write it down and put it some place where you can see it all day. Let it be a reminder for you to say thanks throughout the day.

I figured I'd go big with the thing for which I am most grateful, daily:

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 13

GET SOME FRESH AIR

The past four months have not been kind and certainly not encouraging those of us who prefer to sit inside by the fireplace rather than outside in the frigid fresh air. I might get a bit running from the truck into the grocery store or from the truck to the yoga studio or from the truck to the school; nothing leisurely about it at all with wind chills in the minus double-digits for the majority of the winter.

I miss walking around the block, walking to the yoga studio, walking to the grocery store. I live in a very central area of my town specifically so that I can walk to and from most places. The cold wasn't as much the deterrent than the ice and snow on the ground which made me very nervous with it's slippery and uneven surface.

I am looking forward to the time I can sit comfortably on the back deck, with a book and a glass of wine taking in all of the fresh air I want! Oh, for the day I can grab the big camera and take a leisurely walk along the lake or though the campus and enjoy nature around me. I am tense feeling a smothering sense of cabin fever this year and cannot wait to enjoy the simple pleasure of leaving the house without a parka and boots and spend time outside.

The assignment: Today, spend a few minutes outside just enjoying breathing the fresh air. Take a walk and absorb the natural beauty and serenity we can find in nature.

We have not had a tremendous improvement in the temperatures, but at least most of the snow has melted on our back deck and I should be able to take a few minutes to bask in the sunshine this afternoon - in my boots and parka :)

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 12

TAKE A DEEP BREATH

Breath is such a fascinating thing. We don't think about it but it is such an integral part to everything. Our existence starts and ends with breath. Having asthma since I was a child, I am a little bit more focused on it than most and have often struggled to keep it calm and steady.

The assignment: today, if you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, I want you to simply breathe.

At Canyon Ranch, I took an hour-long course in how to breathe. I learned a ton but what most surprised me was that you get oxygen in your lungs through your exhale. Fascinating. Through the exercises, I managed to slow my breath down and took four or five inhales and exhales in a minute. I then returned to my life of stress and anxiety and quickly forgot the lessons.

That was a couple of years ago. Now, controlling my breath is how I manage stress. When I am in stress or pain I hold my breath. I have to stop and remind myself to breathe. Every day as I enter into my meditation practice I know that it's all about the breath. Once I have control over it I am able to get right into a state of complete focus and relaxation. It slows me down and has me centred in the moment.

In, 2, 3, out 2, 3. I can now ease my body into a state of complete contentment after a few simple big breaths. It has taken about six months to completely master the technique but now that I have it's hard for me to remember how I managed my life without it!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 11

PLAN AHEAD

I am a planner by nature. Every Monday I send an email out to my kids outlining our week ahead and then it's up to them to get their own acts together! Between that note and the cloud calendar on iCal we pretty much have the logistics of our life outlined so that anything spontaneous can be enjoyed within context of not missing what we need to do and not forgetting what's next. My plan is to have 90% of anything completed so that the remaining 10% can be fresh, timely and current.

The assignment: What can you do ahead of time to make your days run more smoothly.

There is one habit that I can't seem to have stick: dinner. I plan menus and shop for food but never seem to get around to making what I've planned. Weird. Today? My plan is to figure out why my efforts are not working and fix our dinner dilemma!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

pmm | leader of the pack

Beyond proud.

Months of preparation culminated at the Oakville Centre with the All-School Musical: Leader of the Pack, the Ellie Greenwich Story, performance at the end of February. I knew nothing about this musical and I made every effort to not listen to the songs and preparation happening through my house since late autumn.

I'm so happy I did! At the performances I was BLOWN AWAY.

Leading up to the performance, there was a lot of off-stage drama: Chloé our "Chez Smooch Waitress" badly sprained her ankle a few weeks before the big night. Her part called for a lot of dancing and her "big scene" called for her to carry a tray full of drinks - impossible to do with crutches. With much credit to my girl, she dealt with her injury with great dignity and patience as she moved onto duties with the set crew bringing enthusiasm and understanding. Less than a week before the performances, Chloé was crutch-free. Much to the credit of the producer and director of the play, Chloé was re-assigned and back on stage!

I am always proud of Chloé, but more so knowing that she is able to maneuver herself through theatre challenges like the professional she is and might be in the future :)

Personal note: anyone who thinks playing a sport is the only collective group opportunity should spend some time as part of a theatrical or choir production to realize the real meaning of TEAM.

Cole? Oh, yeah, him, the male "lead" of the show. Yes. The word "lead" is in quotations as this show was not about one performer or another. It was simply amazing in that this show was highlighted by MANY performers. I think it was a wonderful choice. (I really wish there were more musicals that would be written to highlight many performers as opposed to a few "lead"s.)

Back to Cole ... he was remarkable. So confident and poised on stage! He researched his part of Jeff Barry for months, getting the attitude, haircut, speech and timing right. He was confident: movements and mannerisms smooth, lines delivered with confidence, singing voice modulated well, dancing strong (no counting!) and everyone in the audience could tell he was having fun on stage. Of course, as his mama, I was in the audience (taking forbidden photos, below) holding my breath!

Chloé and Caden were both so incredibly dedicated and wonderful, as were all of the performers!

Beyond proud.

Though there were kids with their agents and coaches in the seats, this was a performance done by a number of kids who don't have theatre in their future. Most of these kids are going off to university for anything but arts and performing. Their dedication and enthusiasm is incredible. Beyond any elite sport my kids have performed, the dedication of these kids (along with parents, faculty and other support) is remarkable and inspiring.

SHOUT OUT: Special thanks to our family guests for attending and to our friends for their kind accolades - especially those who don't have to attend student performances.

Happier You | Day 10

LEARN SOMETHING NEW

I am forever learning something new. Curiosity is my greatest motivation. I am so very happy when I'm learning something new.

Confession: for many reasons I never graduated university with my coveted English degree. I loved the courses and enjoyed most of my professors. Circumstances conspired to make graduation impossible, but the process was something that burrowed deep in my soul and I thrive in an atmosphere of learning.

I am so very blessed to be part of this digital age where I can learn new things from the comfort and convenience of my living room.

For years I was home alone with four children under five - then onward. I would wait until the weekends to speak with an adult who had no interest in hearing what I had to say. I was desperate for relief. I found it on the internet. Sometimes good: Big Picture Classes. Sometimes bad: vile message boards. All appreciated for the outlet provided. I learned a ton - real and virtual.

The assignment: Learn something new.

Sometimes I feel great disappointment in myself for not getting a degree, especially now when my kids are in high school and graduation in order to qualify for a good university is the goal. I do not live in that place of shame and my kids know fully the circumstance of my failure as it has been explained - the unvarnished, not pretty version.

Sometimes I think I populate, solely, the land of overcompensation :S

This past year I've learned:

• To show up. Every day. Even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days.
• Reformer Pilates.
• OPEN. Stay open to everything. Judgment may have it's place, but only upon reflection.
• Accountability is something you feel. It can't be taught. No one can be shamed into being answerable for their behaviour (or lack thereof).
• Meditation - Kundalini as well as the less fire-breathing versions, as a daily practice.
• The Desire Map.
• To use my pendulum, though not regularly enough.
• Volleyball - as Caden's team manager.
• It's okay not to be like everyone else.
• Brush Script taught by the ever-talented Kal Barteski at Studio Calico.
• The Enneagram and I've come to terms with being an 8.
• I have signed up for and will start Marie Forleo's B-School - today!

I am so grateful for the opportunity to stay open and learn so many brilliant and wonderful things without even leaving home. Brilliant!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

hello monday | 110

happy! hello new g2 driver :)

hello writing course. this is going to be fun. i have a handle on "memoir" and memory keeping, but i've never done it in a formal creative writing way. lots to learn!

hello florida! sun, sand, salt water. perfect.

hello relaxation. i have a good book. itunes is up to date. headphones have been found.

hello clothing purge. we have three piles per child: toss, give away, wash and put in another dresser. i find it funny that it's now time for my younger kids to pass along clothes to their older siblings. we're also creating a list of what we need to get for each. so very happy that those lists gets shorter each year.

hello spring clean. clothing is only the start of this process.

hello bschool. i can't wait to get started! i spent this past weekend getting all prepped and up to date.

hello sacred alone. i'm really interested in this idea. i wonder if, in the end, my preconceived notions will be cast aside or embraced? i've enjoyed all of susannah conway's courses, i'm sure i won't be disappointed in this one!

hello art battle 103. this should be a lot of fun.

hello wonky schedule. changing things up to suit everyone this week. the break has things all discombobulated and confused.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

Happier You | Day 09

MAKE A GREEN SMOOTHIE

Last year I found Harley Pasternak's Body Reset Diet and loved the idea of the Green, Red and White smoothies. The only one that managed to stick around was the Red (berry) version. For a long time I made it every morning for breakfast but have gotten away from it lately as my key ingredient President's Choice Power Fruit Blend has been more often out of stock than in (no real excuse, but there you have it):

1 Cup Water
2 Scoops Protein Powder
1/2 Cup Greek Yogurt, 0%
2 Cups Frozen Power Fruit Blend
2 Tablespoons Flax Seeds or Chia Seeds

The assignment: So yourself a favour, try a green smoothie.

I really am a berry fan and it's hard for me to eat, er drink?, a green smoothie. Though I do love spinach, I am not a fan of the fruit required to make it taste better - a bit of sugar overcompensation with the melon, mango, grapes and pineapple usually found in the recipes. Way too sweet for me. But hey, in keeping with the assignment I made up a smoothie I think I can manage:

1 Cup Water
2 Scoops Protein Powder
1/2 Cup Greek Yogurt, 0%
2 handfuls spinach
1 small green apple
1 carrot
2 Tablespoons Flax Seeds

Not bad. I used only things I had on hand but think I'll have to run out and try some spirulina next time I'm out and see what it's all about.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 08

READ A BOOK

I enjoy reading. I think I always have. The pure escape into a life and time that is not my own. Feeling the crisp but warm pages. Late nights spent under the covers with a flashlight in one hand and a book in the other. Experiencing the nervous or happy anticipation of the story ahead. Pure bliss.

I use my e-reader for all of those wonderful works of fiction I enjoy so much but haven't indulged in (often enough) in so long. It is loaded with those huge tomes I cannot possibly lug around with me. I bring it on trips: big trips which require a flight and smaller trips which has me sitting in a parking lot. I appreciate the portability and the ease.

My living room is filled with bookshelves and they are lined with every manner of biography, cookbook, "self help" (what an awful term), favourite older (pre-2010) fiction and coffee table works of art.

I have a pretty simple practice: if a book requires notes in the margin I buy a hard copy; if it requires me getting lost in the pages it goes on the e-reader.

The assignment: Pick up a book and get lost. Read for the pleasure of reading.

I really want to read what I want to write. Or write what I love to read. I so enjoy getting lost in the books of Alice Hoffman, Sarah Addison Allen, Barbara Erskine and Jan Karon. All of those wonderful books with a magical, mystical, ethereal air to them. They are so lovely and seemingly light, filled with wonderful characters and lessons. Like taking a paper holiday.

Today? For my Patti Digh book club I've just downloaded and started to read Luminaries by Eleanor Catton. So far I think it's the perfect way to spend the first Saturday of our March Break. :)

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 07

SILENCE YOUR INNER MEAN GIRL

I don't know that, as an over-40 adult, I've ever had my inner mean girl in my head. There are plenty of real-life over-40 mean girls in my life that I cannot seem to avoid, but I've never really experienced the self-sabotage that seems to plague many of my middle-age peers. Now, I have experienced plenty through my adolescence and pre-40s through which time I was plagued by self-doubt, inner-mean and self-sabotage. These past couple of years has had me grow beyond judgment, defensiveness, criticism and expectation of myself and others. I've become kinder and far more patient and compassionate. I like to be liked. That being said, I am content to have that be a small group: those who like me for me.

The assignment: Today, when your inner mean girl starts to open her mouth, I want you to tell her that you will not listen to her. Our faults and imperfections are what make us special. Remember that today.

I have a pretty clear view of myself. I appreciate my flaws and imperfections as they are testament to the resilience and determination that has got me where I am today. I like that I'm not like everyone else. I enjoy being a work in progress.

One niggling demon?

Would I like to be slimmer? Yes, but thyroid disease and the test results that seem to evade medical answers are thwarting that effort; for now. In the meantime I've focused my time on taking the medications I need, buying clothes that fit, eating food that is good for me and exercising regularly. I engage in the habits of slimmer people in preparation (hope) for the day my body and my practice are in alignment with each other.

My perspective comes from living here in suburbia where there are so many examples of indugence and envy and unhappiness it makes me feel relieved that I am okay with my life where it is, now. Am I perfect? Not by a long shot, nor do I profess to or want to be. I watch so many women with such wonderful spirit, charm, intelligence, beauty and ability spend their days eating themselves alive with competition, delusion, want and need to see life as half full - or believe the myth that the grass is greener. I'm different from many of my peers (note: not friends) in that I see my life very clearly, my children clearly, my circumstance clearly with zero envy or feeling of depravity or scarcity. I am so incredibly fortunate. Do I drive a posh vehicle? No. Do I have a multi-room mansion with pool, fountain and/or lake view? No. Do I drip with jewels or designer clothes and shoes? No. Do I take exotic trips to Europe, Asia, South America, the Galapagos? No. Many do. Many talk about how they can't with such focus on envy and want it is almost painful to hear. No. It is painful to hear. My heart breaks for those who feel such visceral want.

I am grateful, content and blessed to have more than I'll ever need. I live in hope it will always be so.

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 06

DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE

The BIG LESSON of the past few years, learned by me and my kids, is to express gratitude regularly. Through words and through actions: show people how you feel. Always express your gratitude.

The assignment: Be generous, considerate and kind to others today.

I have few "rules" in my house but one is to treat people the way you want to be treated. Especially if you have something nice to say don't keep it to yourself! Give compliments out loud and (try to) keep complaints inside. I go through every day encouraging kind words, letting people go ahead of me in traffic, picking groceries off high shelves for smaller elderly people, regularly say "please" and "thank you" and appreciating the wonderful people who populate my days. Today I plan to acknowledge those lovely people in my life, those I (sadly) don't get to see every day, via snail mail. I've developed some note cards and I'm going to share them!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

anticipation | spring break

Eighteen consecutive days. That is how long my three high- and middle-school kids are out for spring break. That is a lot of time to fill at a time when the weather is being typically, well, March. But they deserve a break as they worked very hard this past term. It might be the shortest term but it is also the most intense with two of them just finishing up their parts in the school play.

Unlike last year we have no grand plans for another big cruise! But, we do have plans ...

. attending a couple of plays in Toronto
. attending a concert or two
. going to the new Ripley's aquarium
. a few days in Florida
. catching up on some reading and assignments
. a trip to Kingston, as Claire's schedule allows
. visits with cousins
. starting B-School
. introducing the kids to yoga and meditation

Hmm, upon further reflection, it looks like we'll have plenty to occupy our time!

Essentially, every year, my life goes on hold while the kids are home on break - spring and otherwise. It's like having toddlers again! Except, this year, I think there will be a lot of sleeping and lazy days. I hope so! All of my kids work so hard at school it's good for them to relax with the same intensity.

What do you do on school break?

Happier You | Day 05

PRIORITIZE YOUR TIME

My tombstone will be in the shape of a clock!

Keeping a productive schedule, that serves me and my kids, is of paramount importance in my life. I have very simple rules:

1. never disrespect anyone (or myself) by being late

2. my kids come first; and,

3. choose "yes" or "no" in alignment with my desires and not the needs of those, who are not my kids, around me

The assignment: how can you prioritize your time to make your hours serve you better?

I thrive in structure and order. I am often caught behind because life often gets in the way of my plans. In order to keep on track and make the best use of my time I use a few tools:

Two calendars: iCal on my phone, on my computer and the accompanying cloud that goes on my kids telephones. Everyone is colour coded and aware of the flow - or the crazy - of each day. My day-at-a-glance spiral-bound paper calendar, with me everywhere, with my writing schedule.

Reminders: within my iPhone I've set up alarms that go off at regularly spaced intervals.

• Wake up (same time every day)
• Meal 1
• Leave for school (5x per week)
• Write
• Meditate (7x per week)
• Snack 1
• Work (5x per week)
• Meal 2
• Pilates (2x per week)
• Start dinner
• Snack 2
• School pick up (5x per week)
• Meal 3

After School activities (voice, volleyball, rugby, etc.) are keyed in separately with times to leave for drop off, times to leave for pick up and everything in between.

• Homework for kids/Work for me
• Evening wind-down

Every 50 minutes on the hour, between 8AM and 4PM I'm reminded to get up and: walk around the block, fill or empty washer/dryer, call my sister, fold laundry, walk around the block again.

My days are structured so as to stop me from going down the rabbit hole of reading or writing. There will come a day when I don't have to be stopped, but that day is not now or in the near future.

I've also designed "day blocks" so that each day of the week has some kind of focus:

MONDAY has me running errands, cleaning the house, paying bills, visiting my life coach with a busy after school schedule.

TUESDAY has me at a writing class in Burlington, then focused on Project Life and other digital projects and an hour of private reformer Pilates in the late afternoon. Evenings are spent completing schoolwork and relaxing.

WEDNESDAY has me offline all day and I spend my time working on projects that require space or mess to complete. Evenings are spent completing schoolwork and relaxing.

THURSDAY has me focused on writing all day and a late pick up from school. Evenings are spent completing schoolwork and relaxing.

FRIDAY has me writing early in the morning, Kundalini meditation, reformer Pilates and a late lunch with a friend.

SATURDAY & SUNDAY are kept as open and lazy as possible. This is time for sleep, homework and projects, visiting family and friends, relaxing and watching movies, whatever we decide to do individually or as a group. I can be social but do that on my time during the week so the kids don't feel the pressure of forced socialization or activities on the weekends.

I realize this looks daunting, but my schedule for myself is simply a guideline. I am not rigid in my need, for example, to only write on Thursday - after all, its a creative outlet and I might forego errands or bill paying on Monday to sit on the computer and write. The day-block schedule is to have me quickly snap back into flow if I've been distracted by my life - an all too common occurance!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 04

LEARN TO RELAX

In order for me to be relaxed it's a matter of pacing myself. I try not to take on so much that I feel run ragged or frustrated. I cannot go from break-neck-to-do-list-conquering-ninja-mum to sit-on-the-couch-with-book-and-tea-mum. I need to ease into relaxation. It is getting easier, especially since starting my daily practice of meditation (even if it's only folding laundry). The best way for me to ease into relaxation is by being mindful of my breath. In through the nose, 2, 3 out through the mouth, 2, 3 and repeat.

The assignment: Take some time today to relax. End the week with a relaxed body and mind. (Remember, this project was designed for October 2013, so the days of the week can be wonky. I'm just going with it and plan to enjoy some mid-week relaxation!)

Today, a regular Tuesday, is full. All good things, of course: Chloé to the orthodontist, a private reformer Pilates class for me followed by a half hour in the sleep pod. Then a quiet night when I get a chance to make dinner and catch up with the kids. Likely the kids will do their homework, the television will be off and I'll spend the evening writing, creating digital pages, or go old-school and pull out a book.

I have managed the paradox of scheduling relaxation time into my day. It is critically important for me to do it and over the last few months I've just leaned into the discomfort of this "indulgence" and learned (again) that on the other side of "should" is some really good stuff!

Just breathe: in through the nose, 2, 3 out through the mouth, 2, 3 and repeat. Repeat for as long as it's needed!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

4 Simple Goals | 03-14

Happier You | Day 03

PUT YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER

Like most homes mine is a work in progress - one endless project after the other. There really is not that much left to do! I've found a wonderful electrician and a contractor to add to the wonderful plumber. It's like the trifecta of home maintenance! There are three big projects left to complete: removal of four decorative columns that disrupt the flow of the first floor, installation of solid wood doors on the main floor and finish painting the hallway and stairwell on the second and third floors. Luckily these projects have all been relayed to my contractor and we're all set for things to be completed in April!

The assignment: make a list of three things that you can do to start putting your house in order. Make a plan and take some action steps towards this goal.

I admit, I get more than a bit jittery when I am surrounded with paper clutter. And I am the worst culprit! I thrive in a visually calm space.

1. Purge all piles - file or recycle. Locate all tax documents.

2. Clean out the linen closet. Organize by sheet size and make the space functional.

3. Go through the (overstuffed) main floor and have the kids decide what they want to have for themselves. Make a list, and if possible, move whatever it is they like to their rooms or pack away. Just clear out the visual clutter.

These have been on the "big list" for a while, but it's time to make them a priority. Let the Spring Clean begin!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

hello monday | 109

hello new month ahead. i'm looking forward to what you have in store.

hello snow. it really is time to say goodbye.

hello quiet. this is the week when all of the school activities wind up. no more practices. no more rehearsals. i'm going to enjoy having a rare and simple (non-exception) schedule!

hello march break. just days away. the plan? complete relaxation.

hello big brother canada. holy lordy. it starts again. i wonder if it'll be as wild and quintessentially canadian as the first version - i hope so!

hello play. with all of cole's talk about going to rmc (royal military college) i got him tickets to see the two worlds of charlie f. wonderful timing.

hello book recommendations. i like the idea of recommendations based on what you know you like already.

hello writing on the train. this is such a wonderful idea! definitely an activity i'll be looking into in the near future.

hello young and the giant. i love that my kids enjoy going to concerts together. this is such a great band. often we share different tastes, but this music we all enjoy.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

Happier You | Day 02

DRESS FOR THE DAY YOU WANT TO HAVE

While in my ratty sweater and yoga pants, I inevitably I run into someone particularly judgy when I make a quick run to the grocery store, or gas station or book store. Now I make an effort to avoid that possibility and make sure I am better put together before I leave the house.

In order to make that an easier process I've made a few improvements:

1. I have revamped my whole wardrobe and within my closet you will find only clothes that fit me now, not clothes to fit me when.

2. My bras have all been replaced and the girls are back to where they should be :)

3. I have been "embracing the gray" as I'm all about the stay natural and age with grace idea. My philosopy was being thwarted with the fact my hair did not cooperate and was just turning darker and so harsh against my skin with little gray coming in. I'm back to being a red-head.

4. I purchased my first Eileen Fisher tops and they are spectacular.

5. My clothes are always ready to put on. My closet has been completely purged and the laundry is always up to date, folded and put away.

6. All of my shoes fit and serve a purpose. No more cute but painful shoes for me. And, no more easy but bad for me (flip flops) shoes - I'm finished with having rehab for my feet!

7. Every six weeks, on a Wednesday, I spend the morning in "maintenance": hair cut, waxing, plucking, manicure, pedicure.

8. Occasionally I'l wear makeup, but it's not my favourite. Lately though I've been wearing some mascara and lipstick - but only on days I'm not at yoga or Pilates, which really only leaves two days a week.

I still have my ratty sweater and yoga pants that I wear around the house on those days I just feel like staying in - and this winter there have been plenty of those days!

The assignment: Give it a try. Dress for the day that you want to have.

Today has me heading up to yoga and then the sleep pod at Zenbar Healing Studio. The only thing required is comfortable clothing. But, given that the assignment today is directing me to up my game a bit, perhaps I'll dress to take the kids out for a late lunch once my session is over. Nothing too fancy, but my favourite Eileen Fisher top, a pair of jeans, some fun jewelry and boots may be in order. Who knows? I may go wild and put on some make-up, too!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!

Happier You | Day 01

DO SOMETHING CREATIVE

Every day I am fortunate to be as creative as I choose to be: some days more, some days less. My creativity takes many forms but primarily it finds release in written form. I write articles, blog posts, comments, status updates, lists and story outlines which may turn into real works of fiction in one form or another!

Other creative outlets I have found and enjoy: photography, album making, meditation, cooking, container gardening, doodling, brush script, singing, planning, book design and self publishing. There are plenty of other things I'd like to try: pottery, painting, etching, jewelry design, sewing, needlework - oh so many opportunities!

The question: What can you do that is creative today? How can you stretch your creativity muscles?

Well, today is going to be a bit of a challenge as I'm off to a volleyball tournament with my youngest and if his team does well we'll be home late. I have to be portable with my creativity as I often find myself in parking lots and waiting rooms! Today? I am bringing my ever-present notebook, coloured markers and editorial calendar so I can get a head start on a few writing projects. Of course, I'll be taking photos as well!

__________________________________________________________________________

Like Bree Hester, I believe you choose to be happy. Sure there are bad (out of your control) things that happen, but how you handle them is completely up to you. Your choices are your responsibility - there is no blame, no shame, no nothing but accountability. Your attitude is your decision. I choose to be happy. Happy within the context of not wearing the proverbial rose-coloured glasses or any expectation that those who populate my life have made the same choice :) Last October, Bree put together 31 DAYS TO A HAPPIER YOU and, armed with her PDF, I'm using March - that dreary time between winter and spring that seems to drag on forever - to make the conscious choice to be happy every day this month!