How do you want to feel?
That is the seemingly simple premise of Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map.
Not so simple at all!
I purchased the Desire Map program online last year and went through the painful yet liberating process of discovering my core desired feelings. The premise is to not just have a goal/dream/intention but to feel through the process of attainment the same feeling you will once the goal is realized.
It was a lot of hard work. As with much hard work, it was well worth the effort.
The Desire Map concept contradicts the pervasive belief that "once I get [super fabulous desire] I will be happy". The idea is that "I will be happy as I get [super fabulous desire]". A subtle but shattering shift in approach. Truly, if you are miserable toiling through the process of attaining [super fabulous desire], what in the world makes you think once you've reached the "end" that it will bring something it has never contained? Clarification: hard work does not equal misery and if it does, perhaps you are toiling at the wrong thing.
After about a month of tears and truth, I came up with my core desired feelings:
ALIGN
CONNECT
TRUST
GRACE
Align my thoughts and ideas, actions and words, to my truth. With every decision I make, every choice presented, every person with whom I spend my time, every plan executed, they have to be in complete alignment with who I am and what I believe.
Connect with more people, more activities, more ideas. At its essence, I want to connect with people who bring out the best in me either by agreement or by challenge - with kindness, love and understanding. The big challenge is in phyical connection: I have to force my introvert self to get out more and engage - with people.
Trust myself and re-open myself to trust my instincts. Perhaps, even maybe, trust others.
Grace is a doozie. Not a word ever associated with me, I think it's high time for me to find my grace. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I also chose grace as my One Little Word this year as I know this will be the most challenging of my core desired feelings.
Will these always be my core desired feelings? Probably not, but right now they resonate strongly within me and in this process healing and growing they are serving me well.
I am so happy to have this tool as part of my practice.
BONUS? Danielle LaPorte and her team put out a call for Leaders for her Desire Map Book Club, billed as The Biggest Book Club EVER. As I've been known to do, I raised my hand. The result? I now have a weekly book club! Within it, I've been able to combine ALL FOUR of my core desired feelings in one activity! There are about a dozen participants. These women are tremendous. It is a priviledge to have them in my life sharing their stories, their failures and triumphs; and, witness their kind support and enthusiasm. I am truly blessed.
The book club was designed as a 5-week program and "going rogue" encouraged. So guess what? Rogue it is! Now that we're nearing what would have been the end, we've decided to stick together. Who knows where this journey will take us - but it's looking, and more important, feeling good!
Danielle has oodles of stuff on her blog outlining the Desire Map. If you didn't get a chance to join a book club - real or virtual - you can use the leader guide, reader guide and watch all of the videos. Such enlightening and supportive stuff!
There are plenty of resources: the interview with Tanya Geisler was lovely, insightful and optimistic. The interview with Marie Forleo was brilliant.
Proof that the universe conspires to bring you what you need? Last week I was click.click.clicking and decided to sign up for Marie Forleo's "B-School" but got distracted once I had the screen pulled up. I got back to my desk a note from Danielle LaPorte popped up to announce that they had teamed up! If I had any doubt, I have none now. Signing up for B-School on February 19th, for sure!
Are you part of a Desire Map book club? Have you read it? Done the work? What do you think? What are your Core Desired Feelings?
