Embrace Life

Reflection | January 2014

All months are full and January is no exception. It may be even more full than most.

Most of the month was spent re-establishing good habits and introducing some new ones. I decided my new year should start mid-January, there is just too much chaos in my house before the kids are back in school. My search for an accountant continues. I used my new Daily Planner and put on paper my goals with soul. I feel like I've got a good handle on the year ahead because goodness knows the universe does not allow real control! I got Claire back to Queen's in one piece though the ice gods did conspire against us. I made an blog writing plan and put it on the calendar. All but Cole are signed up for base/softball starting this spring. The Desire Map Book Club got off to a fantastic start and I'm thrilled to learn from the participants. I started back with my life coach, Helen, as there is always more work to do. Four weeks of Project Life 2014 have been completed, I'm off to a good start! I went to my reformer Pilates classes and am so happy for the increased flexibility - Jackie is even increasing the weights. I started a reading challenge and am enjoying the challenging material. I ate breakfast (whether it be left over Chinese take-out, Greek yogurt with almonds or simple oatmeal) every morning. My amarylis bloomed - and then fell over! I cut my wine consumption in half or more as things got a bit out of hand during the holidays. I had a new crown fitted. The garage door, not clearing the roof rack of the Suburban - was fixed in a few seconds, a quick twist of a knob resulted in a $150 bill. A mindful morning was enjoyed at iGita with Lisa Forwell and friends. A meeting was held at Appleby to promote the idea of a digital portfolio for each of the students. Semi-formal prep was enjoyed (?) at Oakville Place mall getting Cole a new sport coat and tie and a few things for Chloé. Helped out a friend and drove her daughter to the semi-formal, held at school. Plans made and tickets booked for the Bahamas, Florida, Arizona and Cape Cod. Mapped out plans for summer camps and started booking a few - Caden is actually on a wait list! Watching playoff football with Caden is a joy - he is such a rabid fan. A morning was spent at the school judging the Interpretive Reading competition for the Upper One students - so good. Big mid-week drive to Kingston to visit with Claire. Thank goodness for my sister who kept me talking over the bluetooth most of the 3+ hours there and 3+ hours back! Lunch was enjoyed with Robin and our project plans are fun to discuss. Dad's who step up for men who won't are endearing. A Pampered Chef evening was spent up at Elaine's place. I introduced Jill to Yame. All signed up for Life Organizer Navigation course with Jennifer Louden. Some personal maintenance to offset the onset of midwinter cabin fever: cut, colour, wax, pedicure - the works! Caught a wicked cold. Sadly had to give into my cold and postpone a meeting with someone who may supply product for the store, listening to the universe - and my body. In the most polite - though honest - way possible, I turned down a volunteer opportunity keeping in mind the addage: "when people show you who they are, believe them the first time." The electrician came and gave an estimate, I accepted, and he showed up and did the work. This is a miracle! We went out to our favourite restaurant to celebrate Cole's birthday. We finished watching all five seasons of "Chuck", such a wonderful show, it will be missed! I enjoyed the New Moon Goddess Celebration up at the new Zenbar studio.

In the lives of the kids:

Claire | Enjoyed her time at home and returned to Queen's with a new sense of purpose. In Kingston, we went to the mall, Loblaws and enjoyed dinner with mama and friends. She took a quick trip to Ottawa to see a friend in a production of RENT at Carleton. Lesson learned: taxis are unreliable only when you need them to be reliable. Claire sourced and signed a lease for a house next year with six friends - her priority was a washer and dryer in the house. No laundromat for my girl :) Lots of learning is happening for Claire!

Cole | Varsity rugby training has started in the bubble at school. The Semi-formal was enjoyed - with a before party at PJ's and after party at Nick's. Not sure how much time was actually spent at the dance? As much free time was spent with Hanne as was humanly possible either at her house or ours. Preparations and purchases were made for an upcoming trip to Temagami - brr! Cole just turned 17. We enjoyed a lovely mid-week dinner at his favourite restaurant. As is his way, plans are already underway for a new sport for first term next year: volleyball.

Chloé | On Chloé's behalf a meeting was had with Dr. Fasken and Dr. Aliki and it has been decided that the braces will be off a year early. Dr. Mungar took her through her paces and Chloé now have a 6-month supply of "daily" contact lenses. The semi brought with it some unkind girl drama and I'm proud of Chloé's response. The Upper School Cabaret was wonderful - even though the "mime" makeup was a "pain"! Play rehearsals keep the school days long.

Caden | Rep volleyball is keeping Caden busy outside of school and squash is his co-curricular choice for this school term. Summer camp plans are made and confirmed, with one camp already having a wait list - he's #8, it's not looking promising! Science Fair experiments were started and finished. With his buddies, Caden participated in a Leadership Workshop - in his onesie, as it was the required attire. Trip to London with Braeden and his family for a volleyball tournament that ended up cancelled due to blizzard conditions. In preparation for braces, the spacers have been installed. He ended the month with Service Day which took him to the Metro Toronto Zoo - a nice day away from desks and computers.

Life in general:

Weather | Flipping cold. The ice and wind kept us in the deep freeze for the first week of the month well into the second, third and fourth. I think we had three days of relief all month, though the cold temps has brought much sunshine. The phrase "polar vortex" is now part of our daily language. Canadians enjoy talking about the weather, but it was truly dangerous and the top national news story for weeks! I am beyond tired of the cold.

News | The weather. Pearson shut down and people waiting for days to collect their luggage. The upcoming Olympics and terror threats. PM Stephen Harper made historic trip and speech in Israel as part of a Middle East trip. Heartbreaking fire at seniors home in L'Isle-Verte, Quebec leaves 30+ dead. Value of our loonie (dollar) is sliding - this is good and bad. Justin Beiber - deported? not?

Sports | Everyone is looking forward to the Olympics. Much discussion about the Canadian hockey team being sent to the Games. Super Bowl! I'm watching golf in an effort to at least feel like I'm warming up! Eugenie Bouchard made it to the semi finals of the Australian Open, the first for a Canadian woman in 30 years.

Discovery | Cigdem Kobu has been very inspiring and I've joined her Progress Lounge. And, it looks like the year ahead should be active and illuminating. Zenbar is a lovely new spa, making plans to return.

Looking forward, goals I want to keep at the forefront include:

Work | I have to find a good accountant to clean up my taxes so I can start fresh moving forward. I also have to get a business tax number so I can get the online store all set up. I'm all signed up for a writing workshop and hope to focus on novel writing in the next few months.

Health | I'm getting a bit off track and have to start getting more sleep each night - a consistent 8+ hours. I also have to make a more mindful menu to follow each week. A menu that works in our schedule and not one I wish I could make if I had a better after school schedule.

Home | Sort through and organize all of the kids papers, files and ephemera into the boxes purchased for the purpose. Everything is in piles in my bedroom and they just have to get out of there! 100%.

Fun | Most of the supplies for the Kal Barteski class were picked up at Curry's and the rest ordered from Dick Blick. Class starts tomorrow! I am so looking forward to learning this process!

Me | I am feeling content and fulfilled. Completely calm and accepting. I have clearly defined expectations and desires. It is a strange juxtaposition of being present and engaged while still feeling somewhat "out of body" - lovely, scary and real. I am incredibly joyful and at peace for the first time in a very long time.

* * * * *

A couple of years ago I consistently wrote up posts summing up the month that had just past. Then life got both complicated and overwhelming, so much so I was just going from day-to-day in complete survival mode. With this new year I'm getting back into the practices of my past that I have missed.

list | 03 proud

52 LISTS | Week Three | List the things you should be proud of

I show up. For me. For my kids. For my friends. For my family. Every day.

I started a practice of meditation and movement in September. I am still going twice a week. This is so good for me!

I faced my past and moved on.

I foster a home filled with communication, tolerance and love. Some days are better than others, but I wouldn't trade one day, even a bad one.

I am leaning into resistance - and fear - and saying "yes" to many scare-the-crap-out-of-my-introvert-self opportunities.

I gave myself permission to feel again.

I embraced a bit of "woo hoo" and am now a proud owner of many oracle card sets and a pendulum, or two ;)

I have opened my heart and my home to people I have come to trust and enjoy in my life. Connection is a wonderful thing.

I listen more.

I am building a positive life in alignment with my values and beliefs.

I have set boundaries. I recognize situations that do not serve me and extricate myself as quickly as possible. I am not interested in hurting the feelings of anyone, but I am no longer making others happy at my expense.

I reserve judgment while looking for the best in everyone and every situation.

I have released the need for perfection in exchange for excellence.

Self-doubt is no longer my default.

I have (finally) realized that I am worthy of acceptance and love.

 

What about you? Of what in your life are you most proud?

* * * * *

Do you want to join in? Head over to Moorea Seal and check out the 52 Lists.

* * * * *

The 2014 collection:

1 of 52 | 2 of 52 | 3 of 52 | 4 of 52 | 5 of 52 | 6 of 52 | 7 of 52 | 8 of 52 | 9 of 52 | 10 of 52 | 11 of 52 | 12 of 52 | 13 of 52 | 14 of 52 | 15 of 52 | 16 of 52 | 17 of 52 | 18 of 52 | 19 of 52 | 20 of 52 | 21 of 52 | 22 of 52 | 23 of 52 | 24 of 52 | 25 of 52 | 26 of 52 | 37 of 52 | 38 of 52 | 39 of 52 | 40 of 52 | 41 of 52 | 42 of 52 | 43 of 52 | 44 of 52 | 45 of 52 | 46 of 52 | 47 of 52 | 48 of 52 | 49 of 52 | 50 of 52 | 51 of 52 | 52 of 52

real right now | cole is 17

I had a conversation with my dad recently and he confirmed for me that time does indeed go into fast-forward the older you get. Blink. Cole is 17 today!

(click on image to enlarge)

This year, I decided to create a page I could include in my Project Life to celebrate Cole's birthday. In the process, I learned many things, but one thing stands out - Cole is not home enough! I had to go back to September to find a decent photo of him. I must remedy this for his next birthday.

CREDITS: Cathy Zielske Layered Template No. 77

photography | bucket list

I have oodles of very creative friends - I enjoy their company in person as well as by the virtual magic of the internet. One of those people is my friend Kyla Hunzinger who posted a link to a photography bucket list. Yes! This is what I need to do! I've missed taking mindful photos, as opposed to Project Life-influenced snapshots. Though I have dreams of owning and using a Canon 1DX DSLR camera, I realize I haven't focused enough on my old Canon 40D in a while to make the leap! Maybe this will help.

This is my Photography Bucket List

1. A covered bridge - or series of them
2. An apple orchard in full spring bloom
3. A snow covered forest with sun glowing through the trees
4. Jellyfish in an aquarium
5. Small child running away with Batman hood and cape flowing behind
6. All four of my kids - all at once, enjoying themselves
7. Weather-worn faces of those who work outdoors, with their equipment: farmer in front of tractor, fisherman in front of boat/traps, logger in front of truck, etc.
8. Grandparent and child holding hands
9. A farmhouse/barn in the distance of a snow covered field
10. Caden's reaction when he wins a point at volleyball - so intense and joyful
11. Kids on a train tressle with old-fashioned suitcases in hand - maybe as a graduation photo
12. Family photo posed on an elegant couch in the middle of a field/orchard
13. My dad reading
14. A field of wildflowers after a rain and the sun is just coming out
15. "Stock" photos of all the weird things I think of and can never find on line in real "stock" photo sites
16. Claire's hands wrapped around a cup of hot apple cider
17. White peonies - with water droplets
18. High flying kites mid-day
19. Hot air balloons at sunset
20. The back of two red Muskoka chairs looking out toward fog rolling in off the lake
21. Fireworks
22. Colourful buoys leaned against a shack
23. Newborn bits & pieces: fingers, toes, lips, eyelids
24. Volleyball action shots - by the net
25. A child up in a treehouse
26. A snowball fight
27. Getting ready for a hockey game: taping sticks, stone to the blade, tying up laces, change rooms, listening to the coach, benches, water bottles, camaraderie of players
28. The hands of an elderly woman knitting
29. Underwater shots of kids playing in a pool
30. Lobster boats on a foggy morning
31. Stone staircases
32. Architectural details of old buildings
33. Faces on the subway
34. A circle of friends roasting marshmallows
35. Snowcovered rolling hills and covered pine trees with bright blue skies and sunshine - the day after a blizzard
36. Looking up to the tops of the trees in a thick forest
37. A field of freshly rolled hay
38. Georgian Bay, a view of the land from the water
39. Artists cottages on the way to Provincetown
40. Macro capture of a snowflake
41. Blowing beach grass and whitewashed boardwalks in South Carolina/Georgia
42. Photo essays capturing the "flavour" of a town
43. Street photography
44. A silhouette of a person standing in a large archway
45. A shot, looking upward, of a child holding a huge number of balloons
46. A stack of books next to a big comfortable reading chair - an invitation
47. Butterflies, backlit by sunshine, in a field of flowers
48. An African safari - all the details (and creatures) big and small
49. An outdoor farmers market
50. A field covered in hoar frost
51. Maybe even an overflowing bucket of water - under an old fashioned spigot?

And yes, there are more to add ...

My plan? For the month of February I will have the batteries charged and the memory cards cleared and spend the month reacquainting myself with the feel of my "big" camera. I may not take one of those on my bucket list, but I will remember what it's like to take mindful photos. More than half the battle!

What is on your photography bucket list?

hello monday | 104

trucks were outside for a few hours. i wonder what was going on?

hello sleepovers. they're wonderful - especially when they're not in my house :)

hello evenings with friends. sometimes it's okay to take a break from being mama 24/7/365. good for me to go out with friends. good for the kids to go out with friends.

hello spacers. caden is getting prepared for braces.

hello maintenance. no, not the truck - me! this brittle cold has not been good for my skin. time to indulge in some pampering.

hello temptation. i love it when my friends know me so well and send me links to tempting retreats!

hello new moon goddess ceremony. i'm trying to stay open to new things - expecially when they feel like things i've known forever. sweet resonance.

hello business meetings. i hope i remember how to manage one of these!

hello electrician. maybe the fourth time is the charm? let's hope so! i'm tired of living in the dark, it's time to light things up around here :)

 hello newly minted seventeen year old. yep, this week. time flies!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

desire map | personal revolution

When I started following the prompts for the Desire Map For Life, I was hoping they would be a regular addition to Danielle LaPorte's blog, then they stopped as quickly as they started. I sent a note and was disappointed to have it confirmed that they were indeed finished at seven prompts! The good news is that though there are to be no more formal "prompts" there is still plenty of fodder for thought to be found on her website on which I can reflect here on the blog. So, though it may not be designed, I will be making my own Desire Map For Life inspired by the incomparable Danielle LaPorte.

Prompt 7:

What is the one thing you would like to revolutionize in your life?

This was a difficult prompt. With all of the incredible positive and fulfilling changes in my life of late, I don't find much dissatisfaction - just opportunitites to re-evaluate, with which I either accept or deal.

I am pretty adept at taking a negative situation and have it yield a positive result. I call it "turning shit into sunshine" but there are plenty of other phrases. You get the idea :)

Revolutionary change?

I suppose if there were a battle I'd take on, it would be to convert the "mean girls" - which is to say, I'd find a way to make the mean mums not raise mean girls. I suppose, in order to accomplish that, I would have to engage and interact with a group of insecure adults and somehow make them feel whole and valued again. But, like all things, I'd have to invent a way to recognize they have an issue they are passing down to their children.

Can you imagine? A world where women who feel whole, valued, secure, content, fierce and confident raising children to be the same? What if everyone simply treated people the way they themselves want to be treated?

I am in my seventh consecutive year in middle school and I have to say it has not been a pretty experience. Some years have been better than others, but in the main it is a stressful time and I am more than a little done with the whole experience. Happy to move on. The "mean" does not necessarily improve in the higher grades, but the kids become so busy with their school work and seemingly manage to find contentment within their friend group with less judgment of others.

What about you? What dissatisfies you? What can you make it revolutionize for you?

* * * * *

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven |

the current | thirty-four

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 11:22pm on 22 january 2014
weather outside: sleet and -14C
mood inside: tired from a long drive back from kingston to visit claire for the day

drinking a glass of very cold sauvignon blanc.

eating greek 0% yogurt, usually strawberry, each morning with a dozen almonds. delish!

embracing my choices - they are in complete alignment with how i want to feel. wow. what a wonderful difference to be in such a gentle and mindful place.

enjoying the potential of a new creative idea i've been cooking up with my friend, robin.

cooking remarkably few 'from scratch' meals. winter is my favourite cooking season but spending much time in the truck is not condusive to the recipes we like. time to bring out the crock pot!

trying to get things done - not just thought.

missing my girl even though i just left her!

feeling fatigued. my full schedule is starting to catch up to me. that and i really do not enjoy driving at night, but it is preferable to sitting in traffic.

listening to the television. i am so very tired of rob ford leading off the newscast. he's hopeless.

watching the overflowing sink filled with dirty dishes. there was clearly not much got done around the house when i was away today!

reading and catching up on emails, facebook and the many texts missed while driving.

wearing pajamas. thinking it's time to get a new set.

packing project boxes. time to get all of these creative ideas organized. and then started. oh, and completed, too!

planning summer camps and holiday travel for this summer. the kids get 11 weeks of vacation and i'd like them to have plans for at least half of that time. the rest they can relax, play, daydream - and maybe read a few books.

stopping to be appreciative of all the changes i've made in my life. now is the time to really enjoy the improvements - big and small.

wanting to make the best of what has historically been the most challenging time of the school year for me and the kids. the bitter cold of the last few weeks is not helping matters. not one bit!

needing to be more focused on my nutrition and eating more - better - foods.

wishing for wonder.

waiting for warmer weather. at least the last few days have brought sunshine and for that i am immensely grateful.

thinking of adult "field trip" ideas. pottery. painting. dreamboards. retreat.

enjoying leaning in to resistance. nothing too challenging. the lesson? it's true - on the other side of fear is just what i need.

paying for another project - pot lights. as much as i love my townhouse, it can be a bit dark. it's time to shed some light around here! thanks to meg, i have an electrician arriving this week.

encouraging myself to keep saying "yes" to opportunities.

celebrating the incredible gift that is my "desire map book club". every tuesday evening is a joy. i'm enjoying knowing my veteran friends in a whole new way as well as meeting new women. all of us sharing a similar mind-set. it has been indescribably positive.

cultivating an attitude of calm and patience. this is not a natural state for me, but every once in a while there is a glimpse and it's lovely.

marveling at the weather. i know, i know, canadians are always talking about weather but this winter (after a crazy hot summer) has been simply brittle.

anticipating longer days ahead. my joy when i realized the other day that i was not waiting in the parking lot to pick up the kids from school in the dark!

and tada, a photo from my week:

Wishcasting | 01

Back in 2010, I followed Jamie Ridler's "Wishcasting" prompts with an all-too-brief re-visit last year. I enjoyed them as writing prompts but stopped when life got too chaotic and complicated. The lesson in that is to keep writing especially when things get complicated. Upon reflection it would be nice to see what/how I was thinking at the time!

Those were dark days when I had given up on the idea of dreams and wishes. It feels like such a long time ago. Though I'm still more goal-oriented than a dream-believer, I have a fondness for wishes. There has been much heart-work done and I can be more authentic, more gentle and more kind with myself and my wishes. I went onto Jamie Ridler's site and saw that she has a new 52-week e-course: What If You Filled Your Year With Wishes? Perfect! I'm all signed up.

WISHCASTING | 01 What do you wish to awaken?

I wish to awaken my too-long-dormant sense of wonder. I've been so dedicated to my practical life of raising my four kids and maintaining my home that I've forgotten to take a deep breath and just wonder at it all. Instead of feeling the need to have all of the answers, I'd like to just consider the phrase "I wonder ..." and then go on a fantastical daydream - a journey that has no end and has no limits.

What about you? What do you wish to awaken?

Project Life | 2014

Last June I moved my Project Life to a private blog* which made a lot of sense, and continues to make sense. Now that I'm starting a new year of Project Life, I considered just putting it back here on the primary blog but was reminded that the process had become inauthentic as I was not comfortable sharing all of the people and intimate details of the lifes shared by me and my children.

For me, Project Life is exactly what it is - representative of my life. In fits and starts. Better than nothing and far from perfect. Sounds about right!

There are a few things I'll be updating this year:

A new private blog for 2014 pages is set up. If you're interested in reading it, send me a note at linarstudio dot lc at gmail dot com and I'll get the password off to you. Anyone interested will have access by clicking the navigation bar ^ above.

I've decided, after a few successful experiments though this past year, that I'll be printing my book at the end of the year via Blurb in a 12" x 12" format. No muss, no fuss. Even better? No glare of page protectors, no lumpy bumpy, no elements to organize. Less time wasted on stuff and more time focused on recording and creating!

After much flip-flopping, the format will continue to be 12" x 12" and I'll be using Cathy Zielske's new Life Basics Minimal templates as I prefer the straight edges for the photos and journaling.

I enjoyed Museo Slab as my font last year as I like the readability. I think I'll continue with it, in different weights, through the project this year. I'll have to figure out a script font - maybe - if I need it.

The big decision? I played around with the idea of changing the dates to have the weekends included from week to week, having the weeks run Monday through Sunday but the reality is my life runs from Sunday through Saturday. If there is a special event that takes place on a weekend there is absolutely nothing stopping the idea of putting it in between the weeks as a 2-page spread. Indeed, that might be fun keeping a few 12" x 12" spreads of non-Project Life ideas in the finished book. This seems to be the big internal argument each year.

A few years ago, in my wildest imaginings, I'd never have thought I'd go 100% digital - in anything memory-keeping related. At best I thought I'd be a hybrid scrapbooker. Things have changed so much and access is so much easier in Canada to digital product whereas traditional product is so much harder to find and the premium for shipping (and counter space) is becoming absurd.

I still have oodles of goodies and hope to use them in smaller projects - maybe A Week In The Life, Recipe Books and Gratitude projects. I can't forget to get my latest December Daily put together!

I love memory keeping. My kids enjoy it too. Over the years they have learned it's value. Even Claire, who used to give me such a terrible time about posing for photos, now returns home from university on occasion and is far less grumbly about having her photo taken. I love that they "get" it and also know that I'm not going to stop, so they smile nicely the first time and then we don't have to keep at it shot after shot!

Since I am an "everyday" scrapbooker, they have plenty of opportunity to smile nicely for the camera - and me, too!

* This decision had much to do with the divorce proceedings and my not wanting their long-absent father to portray himself as anything more than who he is. You can't parent via blog post at the same time acquaintances should not know more about what is going on than a parent. So awkward. By removing access, I had hoped I could have forced the concept of parenting by direct communication and engagement. It did not work. The second reason was to protect private extended-family things: big newsworthy events and proud moments, sad happenings, big group photos of people we love. I figured it was best to maintain the privacy of those who don't live here on the internet.

hello monday | 103

our boys played the #1 seed at the tournament - and won! they were so crazy proud of themselves and should have been. it was a tremendous tournament!

hello day with claire. and her friends. so much fun :)

hello mindfulness. with a couple of events last week, i suffered from a mindfullness hangover. i found myself drained in the most positive way possible. zero negative energy anywhere around me. what is mindfulness? i found a good article via lifehacker.

hello semi formal. before party. after party. semi-formal (aka, excuse for having a before- and after-party) in between. it was a fun event and i'm happy cole and chloé enjoyed their time.

hello goals with soul. it is so nice to see the concept i believe celebrated in other places with other consistent messages in unexpected places.

hello rabbit hole. i took a bit of a journey. i can't even remember where it started! i ended up (as i often do) at jennifer louden's site reading finding your way back to yourself and ended up signing up for her life organizer navigation course from 22 january through 26 march.

hello volleyball. tournaments have us in welland one weekend and london the next. they seem to be getting further and further away from home! i wonder what's next.

hello conversations. i love spending time catching up with my friends. in this case she is a woman i spend a lot of my summer with at the ball diamond but never talk to when the snow flies. a quick check in turned into a 75-minute catch up. yay!

hello creative block. it is inevitable. creative people get blocked. i've learned to quiet my mind when it goes 100 directions at once by just getting it all out - in the form of writing or creating - and then fall back into the inevitable exhaustion of it all. i'm now preparing for the upcoming block with less fear and more understanding.

hello lunch. there really isn't much better than going out to lunch with a girlfriend to discuss everything and nothing.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

wellness | practice

On her blog, my friend Katrina asked "what do you practice?" and it got me thinking about my newfound focus on practice as opposed to the setting and reaching of goals. The past couple of years, since discovering my thyroid disease, my goal was to take charge of my health, take my meds and lose the weight. Hmm. Not as easy as I had hoped. Though I had a goal and made a multitude of changes in my life, it seemed to be for nothing as I was met with disappointment at every turn.

Then, at some point, my perspective shifted. Now, instead of focusing on the goal - though valid and worthy - I focus on the journey and enjoy every minute of it. In my disappointment and desperation, it was clear to me it was time for a shift in my attitude.

I made a mindful decision to focus on the practice rather than the goal.

TAKE MEDS & SUPPLEMENTS | each morning, I take my thyroid medication as well as my omega capules and vitamin D supplements - all swallowed with warm lemon water.

EAT BREAKFAST | each morning I have a small container of 0% fat Greek yogurt (strawberry or blueberry) with a half dozen almonds. Better than nothing, but still not enough. This practice needs improvement by adding toast or something else to boost my caloric intake.

REMINDERS | I have set up regular reminders in my iPhone for things like: eating (I'm an eat to live, not live to eat type, so I need to remind myself to eat meals and snacks through the day), moving (I spend a lot of my day writing at my computer - once an hour is a reminder to get up and walk around the block, walk up the stairs and do laundry, that kind of thing), delivering kids to school/activities, collecting kids from school/activities, time to shut down for the day.

REFORMER PILATES | twice a week, since September, I have been attending private and semi private reformer Pilates classes and it is kicking my ample ass. The reality is, if I'm going to be fat, I'm going to be fat and flexible. The weight? It will have to take care of itself. I'm getting into the practice of simply moving more without focus or expectation on a result. I've also purchased Pilates equipment for use at home and I've incorporated plenty of stretching and leaning-in to discomfort.

MEDITATION | once a week I attend Kundalini at iGita, via Deepak & Oprah during their 21-day challenges and my own meditation of folding laundry, waiting in parking lots and regular driving trips to and from Toronto or Kingston. I'm learning to simply be, in the moment. It's lovely. The greatest benefit? I no longer hold my breath.

INTENTION | as often as I remember, I post on Facebook my intention for the day ahead. I did try to use the phrase "with grace" at the start of the year, but I prefer "intention" so I'm going back to the old practice.

WRITE/CREATE | with the television off all day, I now listen to the "spa" channel and sometimes turn on the coffitivity app and then write or create. There is little rhyme or reason to what I write - blog posts, articles, essays, project life, flow of consciousness - though there is far less time spent on the computer now that I have many other things to do and places to be.

EDITORIAL CALENDAR | there are plenty of days that I have no idea what to post here on the blog. My writing often goes in fits-and-starts. I really fell of my practice of daily posting in December and was not pleased with myself. I put together an editorial calendar and it is working beautifully!

READ | in order to write good fiction you need to read good fiction and I found I wasn't taking enough time to do that over the last few years. A handful of books are read each year, but certainly not enough. I joined Patti Digh's book club and with that I know I'll have at least a dozen really well written books read by the end of the year.

COACHING | to keep my goals (yes, I still have plenty!) on track, I continue my practice of attending a coaching session with Helen each week. As my year ebbs and flows, especially now that we're getting into the very worst part of the year - dreary mid-winter - it keeps me propelling myself forward in my effort to: open a boutique, write a book, create a practice for others.

CONNECTION | my relationships are very important. I make it a priority to meet with friends and family on a regular basis, either for a coffee, a meal, a message on Facebook or a phone call. I check in with myself at least once each week to make sure those I value in my life have heard from me and know how much I appreciate them.

DESIRE MAP BOOK CLUB | I have been a fan of Danielle LaPorte for a very long time and I'm thrilled to carry The Desire Map with me everywhere I go - so much good stuff. I keep my Core Desired Feelings (CDF's) with me through every day - they are: trust, connect, align and grace. Recently, I became a leader of her World's Biggest Book Club and conduct weekly meetings with an incredible group of women. I do hope this becomes a regular practice, expanding in content, as we get to know each other and encourage each other on our journey to feel the way we want to feel, every day.

ONE LITTLE WORD | this has been a regular practice for a number of years. I enjoy keeping my word as my focus during the year. For 2014, I chose GRACE (the toughest of my CDF's) and so far so good! I'm looking forward to the next prompt, and all of the prompts through the end of the year.

KINDNESS | though I embrace gratitude as a practice and have done my best to reject judgment, it really is kindness that has found it's way into my every day. I no longer take offence to the choices made by someone else - anyone else. I can only control my own reactions and most of the choices I make come from a place of kindness, if not complete understanding. Decisions made by other people have precious little to do with me so it's far healthier for me to live in a space of kindness and gratitude.

Wow, that looks like a lot, but I need to incorporate a few more practices in order to improve my daily flow.

Once I purge my room of all paper, clothes that need repair, laundry, donations and projects, I hope to incorporate a practice of quiet and peace with no visual chaos.

I'd like to get back into writing morning pages. I think of them around 2PM. I really should do them right when I get back home from dropping the kids at school in the morning.

Though I try to shut down everything in the house around 10PM, I don't actually have a regular bedtime routine. Of course, once the room is more inviting, I think better rest will come with it.

* * * * *

Not until I started answering Katrina's query did I realize just how much my life has changed over the past year with the implementation of so many wonderful things. Who knew that my profound failure at finding weight loss would bring such spiritual and practical gain? My life is truly unrecognizable from a couple of years ago, but in such alignment with the woman I am and want to be. This was a really wonderful check-in.

What about you? What do you practice?

a day in the life | 09 january 2014

Just a regular Thursday:

For more than a few years I participated in a 12 of 12 project which was a fabulous way of quickly flipping through scrapbook pages to see how my family has grown and changed, month by month, for five years. Grow and change it did! Something happened last summer/fall and I abandoned that memory keeping practice, though months before I had abandoned making pages from the photos taken.

I've decided to do "A Day in the Life" as a part of Project Life instead. It's more flexible with no set number of photos to take and I like the format set out by Ali Edwards in her templates.

My calendar for the year ahead:

• Tuesday 18 February
• Wednesday 26 March
• Saturday 12 April
• Monday 05 May
• Friday 20 June
• Sunday 13 July
• Thursday 28 August
• Tuesday 16 September
• Wednesday 22 October
• Saturday 08 November
• Monday 15 December

What about you? Do you participate in a structured "in depth" monthly project? Tell me about it!

list | 02 greatest comforts

* I have been asked to explain the significance of the lemons. Well, it's simply a reminder that life is full of lemons and it's better to just choose to make lemonade!

Last year I participated in the 52 Lists Project at Moorea Seal and really enjoyed it through the 20 weeks it lasted. The project has been resurrected this year and I am happy to repeat the prompts. Not only will it be a nice guage to see how far I've come - it'll let me know how far I have yet to go!

52 LISTS | Week Two | List your greatest comforts

my children are healthy, happy and kind . a clean house - top to bottom . bamboo sheets . my music collection . quiet evenings . answering the phone to the voice of a friend on the other end . cashmere . cheesy, ooey, gooey, comfort food . overhead fans . my living room lined with bookshelves overflowing with journals, books, photos and scrapbooks . displays of love .  lemonade . when my kids check-in after a night out . always having something to do . water views . folding laundry . real molasses cookies, heated . the first cup of coffee in the morning . hugs . walks along the perimeter of the school campus - in any season . reading a book by a roaring fire . lists . a happy and welcoming entrance to my home . big pieces of wood furniture . the sun rising every morning and setting each evening . the sound of the ocean when visiting cape cod . sauvignon blanc . burning muscles after a reformer pilates session . large bouquets of like coloured flowers . my big dslr camera in my hands . thick white bath sheets . meditation . medium-rare rib eye steak with sautéed mushrooms . fog rolling off the lake . twinkling lights . eileen fisher tops . flats . sleeping in my bed with the window cracked and the ceiling fan on . when i press "send" and a week later a finished project arrives in the mail . hardwood floors covered with plush area rugs . the expression of genuine happiness at my unexpected presence . books . deep resonant voices . quiet time .

What about you? What are your greatest comforts?

* * * * *

Do you want to join in? Head over to Moorea Seal and check out the 52 Lists.

* * * * *

The 2014 collection:

1 of 52 | 2 of 52 | 3 of 52 | 4 of 52 | 5 of 52 | 6 of 52 | 7 of 52 | 8 of 52 | 9 of 52 | 10 of 52 | 11 of 52 | 12 of 52 | 13 of 52 | 14 of 52 | 15 of 52 | 16 of 52 | 17 of 52 | 18 of 52 | 19 of 52 | 20 of 52 | 21 of 52 | 22 of 52 | 23 of 52 | 24 of 52 | 25 of 52 | 26 of 52 | 37 of 52 | 38 of 52 | 39 of 52 | 40 of 52 | 41 of 52 | 42 of 52 | 43 of 52 | 44 of 52 | 45 of 52 | 46 of 52 | 47 of 52 | 48 of 52 | 49 of 52 | 50 of 52 | 51 of 52 | 52 of 52

anticipation | the next 8 weeks

Unlike past years, the next 8 weeks will be logistically different, if not outright challenging! You see, my kids are now on different schedules at different schools and it may take me a while to get used to it. I expect, this being our first year, there may be a few bumps along the way! Hey, that's the fun part, right? The journey :)

• More snow. And then more again. I anticipate purchasing a stinkload of salt the minute the stores are restocked. They've been out of salt since the blackout! The photo above was taken in mid-February last year.
• The school Semi-Formal is always a big event but will be bigger this year as Cole is bringing a date (Hanne, of course) and they have to match. Yeah. That. (Imagine a sigh and eye roll as I walk out the door to take him to the mall.)
• I'll be out in Kingston a couple of times for my at-least-once-each-month visit with Claire. We have a pretty good routine: I arrive with everything she has forgotten at home and take her out for lunch, then we hit Loblaws for food and bath products. Then I stay for dinner with Claire and her friends. It's always a wonderful experience.
• Rugby training starts and will go into full swing in preparation for spring.
• I will continue my Desire Map Book Club meetings. What an enlightening and interesting group of women! We all have so many similarities - and an equal number of differences. Really fun to enjoy the process. Could it be? Have I found my tribe?
• Volleyball tournaments will occupy many of our Saturdays.
• Rehearsals are in full swing for the All-School musical "Leader of the Pack" which has both Chloé and Cole at the school most evenings until 6PM. I'm looking forward to the performance in February.
• I'm looking forward to watching Chloé in the Upper School Cabaret.
• Caden is joining in a Middle School leadership workshop - I'm not sure who will learn more, Caden or the facilitator.
• The annual "Appleby's Got Talent" show is coming up. I wonder which of my kids, if any, will get up on stage this year?
• I'll be back to Natalie for a cut and colour. Shorter this time, and I'll be keeping the red. I really feel as though I've returned to myself with the colour and it's nice to be back in my own skin!
• Parent teacher interviews are upcoming. Always enlightening.
• I'll be taking Caden and the boys from his team to McMaster to watch a few volleyball games. Amazing that in a few short years some of these boys will be playing on their own university teams!
• Mercury is heading back to retrograde. Hang on tight!
• Claire has a long weekend coming up in February. I'm seriously thinking I should take her away someplace warm. Her eczema is not improving in the cold of Kingston.
• By the end of February is curriculum night at school and I'll have to figure out the direction of all three kids - all in high school next year!
• I'm looking forward to a creative writing seminar. Who knows? I may have a bestseller inside me :)
• Caden has enjoyed steady improvement in his squash game as his sport this term. I'm glad he's trying something outside his comfort zone.

I'm doing my best to leave our plans as open and flexible as possible. While they were all little it was great to have a lot of structure and routine. Now it doesn't work as well with all of them pursuing different interests in all different directions.

 

ONE little WORD | 2014 Grace

I have been actively participating in Ali Edwards' One Little Word practice for a few years now and I am so pleased to have another year of choosing a guiding word. I have found them to be so much more impactful and encouraging than resolutions!

2009 BALANCE

2010 FOCUS

2011 DO

2012 OPEN

2013 NOURISH

This year, the course has been moved to Ali Edwards blog and I'm participating there and within the Facebook group. So far, so good. Well, it's only January so let's hope so! Every year, the January assignment is dedicated to getting to know our word better and deciding what we want it to bring into our lives in the year ahead.

My word for 2014 is GRACE

Through my "Desire Map" work, one of my four core desired feelings is GRACE. It is, to me, the toughest of all my choices. I figured I could use a bit more *umph* so made it my guiding word for 2014. I'm glad I did. I am very intimidated as well as comforted by it - especially after completing this initial assignment!

Until my page protectors arrive, I'll be creating my assignments digitally. They will be printed and cut up and rearranged to go into my album, with all of my previous assignments later.

OPENING PAGE:

B-SIDE:

MAKING IT REAL:

INTENTIONS:

ONE little WORD is a 12-month workshop created by Ali Edwards. With monthly prompts, I use photos, text and other good stuff to record how my guiding word has shown up in my life through the year and my personal growth as a result. Keep your word visible with me, join in here.

hello monday | 102

one of the things that make me happy: lists

hello re-entry. as much as i like the company of my children 24/7, i've enjoyed getting back into my routine. this is my first full week with all of my kids back at school and all of the businesses and shops i need to visit are open regular hours. i love a productive week and look forward to the one ahead.

hello wellness challenges. given that this is the first full week of routine and to start it off right i'll be joining in this inspiring challenge to find my centre for the next 10 days. i'm delayed, but starting move more eat well jumpstart with cathy zielske. even though january 1 is as good a time as any to start anything, it is also really inconvenient. from now on i'm starting all january 1st activities on the 12th or beyond.

hello garage door. hoping to have it fixed today.

hello breath. i hold my breath when i'm feeling stress or fear. sometimes i don't even realize i'm doing it until i have to take in a large breath to recover. i have been trying to take 10 deep breaths as a regular practice and it has been wonderful. such a simple thing to do.

hello letter. this is a very interesting idea: send an email to my future self. i sent one to my self to open in early november - a reminder of all the things to do - and not to do - over the holidays 2014!

hello inspired photography. i was bemoaning the lack of inspiration for my photography and was rewarded with much to consider. this article was just the inspiring kick in the pants i needed!

hello science fair. this is my seventh consecutive year as a parent of a child in middle school. caden completed his science fair project over the weekend for presentation in february. the only thing left is crafting the board! this was the most entertaining of all experiments. just listening to him questioning the why of it all. maybe i have a scientist!

hello semi formal. oh the preparations!

hello desire map book club. i was thrilled to meet the ladies who managed to deal with the weather and join the group last week. i'm expecting a few more this week. so nice to find a group of like-minded supportive women focused on making a better life for themselves and those they love. good stuff.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

list | 52 lists redux

* I have been asked to explain the significance of the lemons. Well, it's simply a reminder that life is full of lemons and it's better to just choose to make lemonade!

Last year I participated in the 52 Lists Project at Moorea Seal and really enjoyed it through the 20 weeks it lasted. The project has been resurrected this year and I am happy to repeat the prompts. Not only will it be a nice guage to see how far I've come - it'll let me know how far I have yet to go!

52 LISTS | Week One | List the words that touch your soul

family . claire, cole, chloé, caden . genuine . stretch . gratitude . courtesy. friend . curiosity . routine . solitude . lithe . sunset . breezy . cashmere . order . melody . books . candlelight . shutter . natural . self-care . respect . affirmation . focus . list . generosity . ocean air . succulent . palms . lemons . open . meditation . waterfall . create . effervescent . purpose . incandescent . crustacean . lavender . share . pendulum . myriad . lilt . supple . calm . resonant . learn . serendipitous . tranquil . snowflakes . abundant . kind . calendar . leaves . acceptance . project . communication . alchemy . include . breathe . caribbean . lean-in . colour . refined . explore . flow . grace

What about you? Are there certain words that touch your soul?

* * * * *

Do you want to join in? Head over to Moorea Seal and check out the 52 Lists.

* * * * *

The 2014 collection:

1 of 52 | 2 of 52 | 3 of 52 | 4 of 52 | 5 of 52 | 6 of 52 | 7 of 52 | 8 of 52 | 9 of 52 | 10 of 52 | 11 of 52 | 12 of 52 | 13 of 52 | 14 of 52 | 15 of 52 | 16 of 52 | 17 of 52 | 18 of 52 | 19 of 52 | 20 of 52 | 21 of 52 | 22 of 52 | 23 of 52 | 24 of 52 | 25 of 52 | 26 of 52 | 37 of 52 | 38 of 52 | 39 of 52 | 40 of 52 | 41 of 52 | 42 of 52 | 43 of 52 | 44 of 52 | 45 of 52 | 46 of 52 | 47 of 52 | 48 of 52 | 49 of 52 | 50 of 52 | 51 of 52 | 52 of 52

read | book club

Years ago I read voraciously. The trouble is, as much as I enjoy, and as much as I practice, I continue to be a slow reader. A true turtle. To top that off, as a writer, I feel like I'm insulting the author if I skip over anything - even the most gruesome or explicit of parts :( I read many, many non-fiction books filled with information that sates my curiosity. I find it difficult to read the occasional fiction book as I do not have a reliable source of curation. I've joined no local live book (er, wine) club, and Oprah, though often brilliant, chooses tomes often too disturbing for me.

Then, in early December, an email arrived from Patti Digh. It turns out she hosts a year-long book club. A perfect example of the teacher arriving when the student is ready. Though this is the third year of the book club I never noticed it before. I am now ready to start this project.

I read the titles, did a little research and last week all of the books arrived, shipped to my local Chapter's. No muss, no fuss. All twelve titles at one time. I can read ahead and if I get caught behind, I can just skip around. So civilized!

So far, it looks like this book club will work the way my life works :)

First up? Tonight from 7PM to 8PM we will be discussing We Need New Names by NoViolet Bulawayo. Once I read the synopsis I was terrified that I had made a terrible choice - the subject was so graphic and violent. The difference? It was not contrived or manipulative. I very much enjoyed the book.

Onto read A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki for next month.

How do you find books to read? What have been your favourites over the last few years? Any standouts? Last year my favourite was The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion. It had me grinning ear-to-ear with the turn of every page. It was the book I gifted everyone this past Christmas.

around the house | january cure

One thing about living in a house with four kids, even with one away at university, there is always something to do. Something is out of place. Something needs to be done. Laundry. Dishes. Dusting. Cleaning. I'm forever living in a state of irritation with unfinished projects and clutter. To make my frustration worse, the only domestic chore I truly enjoy is folding laundry, it makes for wonderful meditation time. The rest? I clean, organize, purge and decorate in fits and starts through my days.

This year? With the help of Apartment Therapy I'm hoping to to construct a plan to increase my peace. It's taken a long time to realize, but more than anything my inner peace can be found only in an outer space of cleanliness and order.

Last week I pulled my cards for the New Year. My reading held within it a few really interesting insights. One of which was "decorate" which, after reading the full definition, made it clear that "clear the clutter" was the message. I spent 2013 clearing a lot of head and heart clutter. This year I think it's time for me to clear the physical clutter around me. This might be tougher than the work done last year! I have a number of habits that add to clutter: books, craft/art supplies, journals and projects.

THE FIRST STEP: Create a Project List

According to the site: The key is to not jump in and start doing, but to write a complete list of everything - big and small - needed to be fixed or improved within the house. This is just an initial assessment and not to be overwhelming. Just a list. Not one that has to be completed immediately.

Though I'm a bit late starting, I figured better late than never! I spent Sunday morning writing my list, from the top floor of my townhouse - where the boys reside (read: scary) - and made it all the way down to the basement and the garage. As for my back yard, which is not really a yard but a back deck, I just looked out the window and tried to remember what is located under the snow!

It took a little over an hour to complete the full 4-floors and 2500 square feet of home. I made what turns out to be a (surprisingly) not-too-overwhelming list of things that need to be completed to make me feel complete calm.

Three typed out pages.

Totally do-able. All sheets are now analyzed a bit closer and I've used my highlighters to prioritize the projects.

As much as I look forward to my kids all being home I often believe that while they're around they'll "help" me accomplish projects around the house. This holiday proved that they just want to sleep. I don't blame them! They work hard. So, it's really up to me to handle all but their spaces. Earlier this week all of the kids returned to school, and we all returned to routine.

Time for me to get busy completing the chores on my list!

hello monday | 101

hello cold and ice. wow. here in the bubble things have been consistently chilly. i'm already thinking about escaping to warmer climes!

hello kingston. with the latest mega-storm being forecasted for days, we decided it was best for claire to head back to school by way of the train first thing this morning. by first thing i mean catching the 5:30 go train to toronto. it's going to be a long day for my girl. i'm thinking it's going to be a long day for me too!

hello desire map. i'm getting very excited about our first meeting! if you're interested in attending our local group, send me an e-mail to: desiremapoakville at gmail dot com or join the facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/216241078557214/ i'm ready to map my desires and set goals with soul!

hello 52 lists. let's try this again. hopefully this year will yield more than 20 prompts :)

hello detox cleanse. considering something like this, soon.

hello consolidation. i found some interesting infographics confirming what i already knew but it is still shocking to see the scope of it all.

hello writing. it's amazing to me the number of my friends who have, over the holidays, told me i should write a book. i have no idea what i would write about, but, um, okay. i'd better get my writing muscles toned up starting with this writing challenge.

hello questions. even after an exhaustive reverb13 project, i'm still finding provocative and interesting questions to answer.

hello photography projects. not sure if any of these ideas appeal to me. i want to get back behind the lens but not sure how. sounds ridiculous, but i'd like to find something to kick start my enthusiasm. ideas are welcome!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

4 Simple Goals | 01-14

 

I have been participating in my "4 Simple Goals" since 2010. It's time to change it up. From now on I'm going to continue to keep my goals, just not include the reward component. From now on it's just about getting things done.

real right now | in this year to come

Happy 2014!

My New Year's gift to you, just click on the image above (it is 8.5x11 300dpi) and save it, print it off and have it to remind you through the year to make mistakes.

Live your life and enjoy every minute of it!

 

 

Lee
xo

ONE little WORD | January Blog Hop

Hello and welcome to the 12th and final installment of the 2013 One Little Word Blog Hop! This has been a wonderful course and one I've thoroughly enjoyed through the year. All of the participants are so very talented. Each hop, I look forward to see how they approached the monthly assignments.

DECEMBER 2013 | FACTS AND FEELINGS

The assignment for this month was to have us all reflect on how our word presented itself in our lives through the year. I enjoyed this opportunity to flip back through my album to see how well integrated my word was in my day-to-day through this past year.

FACTS

I entered 2013 knowing it would be one filled with challenge and transition. In choosing NOURISH I kept in the forefront of my mind my conscious desire to make healthier choices - encourage decisions that would serve my highest good and more patient approach. NOURISH found its way into all aspects of my life not just healthy food choices though that was a huge component.

FEELINGS

Each year my guiding word has become an integral practice and this year NOURISH did serve me well. It kept me on track and propelled me forward in all manner of health and especially self care. After a full year of mindful inclusion, I believe the healthy habits established will stick around for a long time to come. I feel stronger and healthier because of my full year of NOURISH.

AS I SAY GOODBYE TO MY WORD THIS YEAR I WANT TO REMEMBER

There was a lot of time, effort and energy spent my me, my friends, family and professionals to get me onto this path. I am worthy of good health and habits. Though the results might not be what I want - yet - the habits are well established and with continued practice will yield the desired results.

* * * * *

Thanks so much for being here and for joining in the whole year!

I'm looking forward to seeing what all the other ladies on the hop - sheduled to go live at 6AM Eastern - have to share:

Next up is: Cheri: http://cheriandrews.blogspot.com

Below is the full list of participants. In case you get "lost" you can always come back here and find your way again:

Lee: http://thelinarstudio.typepad.com/embracelife <<< You are HERE

Cheri: http://cheriandrews.blogspot.com/ <<< You are going HERE

Margareta: http://www.paperpilekitten.com/

Naomi: http://www.poeticaperture.com/

Mrs. Wookie: http://mrswookieswanderings.blogspot.com/

* * * * *

How did you see your word in your life? Have you chosen a new guiding word for 2014?

Ali Edwards is hosting this project for 2014 on her blog. Sign up for her workshop to keep your word visible in 2014.

* * * * *

2013 One Little Word Hop FEBRUARY | MARCH | APRIL | MAY | JUNE | JULY | AUGUST | SEPTEMBER | OCTOBER | NOVEMBER | DECEMBER