Isn't it funny how
day
by
day
nothing changes
but when you
look
back
everything is different ...
C.S.Lewis
Blink. Here I am, in my late 40's with four kids, one divorce and countless changes and experiences collected. I've read an overwhelming number of books. Taken good and not-so-good courses. Purged much bad, embraced much good and I'm in the process of deciding on what to do with the rest.
In that decision is the status of my scrapbooking.
Scrapbooking made me a better person. It certainly made me a better mother. In order to write stories about my kids I had to be there, fully; engaged, fully. It would have been so easy to go down the open rabbit hole of despair but in order to be authentic I had to be engaged and you can't be engaged when you're not present. For years scrapbooking was my refuge. I could focus on the people who brought me joy. Our stories. I could hide behind the camera and take photos of my four adorable children and focus on a life worthy of being recorded in albums.
I remember one day, at a crop, listening to a woman declare how she had purchased some new trendy paper and was going to go out to buy her children matching clothes and take them on a "photo shoot" to the park so she could scrapbook the photos to match the paper. To that point it never occured to me to take my kids on some clothes-match-paper-photo-shoot and I have to admit, I was kind of happy it hadn't! What memories are those? "Mama made us wear these strange clothes and then she took us to a place we never go to have photos taken." That would be just weird. No doubt it would be followed with "and then she got mad when we didn't cooperate" NOT experiences I was willing to risk making memories about.
Rather than creating an illusion, in that moment, I decided to live it - for real.
At the time there was a vast chasm between the mother I had always thought I would be and the mother I was. It was time for me to make an focused effort to become my ideal version of myself for my children, for me. I couldn't write, let alone publish, something patently dishonest, so I decided to make my life completely genuine and true.
Within all of my albums are authentic stories which were rarely influenced by the need to be "perfect" or *gack* fake! I am proud of my albums and that my children will be able to visit their history without any fear of it being contrived, made up, or overly-influenced by some crazy trend or celebrity dictate. Maybe they won't be thrilled that the albums are somewhat myopic, written from a singular point of view - mine - but they'll have a simple recording of their every day existence.
How can I give up the one thing that saved my life?
The reality is, I can't. It is a practice so fully ingrained in my life it would leave far too big a gap to fill. Even when I'm "behind" or didn't do a project "right" there is still joy in the process, in the organizing and collecting and writing and photo taking. The crafting and creation of something tangeable. And, wholly ours. The stories are ours and ours alone and within those every day moments our lives are celebrated. Through those stories my children are validated. They are enough. Within those albums is evidence that I showed up.
These days it's just different. Like the quote above: but when you look back everything is different.
My albums have evolved. I'm now almost 100% digital in my approach to memory keeping - with the occasional hybrid project thrown in for variety. I really want to just publish them in book form and I am in the process of finding a printer and really need to deal with my "gutter" issues! Some things stay the same - so much creative choice!
Nowadays my favourites (continue to) include:
- Cathy Zielske, a perennial favourite for templates and her blog.
- Karla Dudley, her papers and elements leave me breathless.
- Ali Edwards, her projects are timeless and appealing.
- Becky Higgins, Project Life is exactly what I need to keep celebrating our every day. Every day.
- Big Picture Classes, the courses offered are wonderful and I take at least one per quarter - if not more!
- Designer Digitals and Pixels&Company have so much good stuff!
- Archivers Annex and Studio Calico are my go-to for all other supplies! There is not a lot available in my area and these two companies are not making a killing on shipping.
Some old, some new, some combinations of both.
Scrapbooking is like an old friend. Always there when I need it. Though sometimes I waver and wonder if it's all worth it, I'll never give it up. It will simply change and evolve with time and experiences.
