For years I was content to exist.
I believed a full and fulfilling life was denied to me by the choices I had made.
I settled.
For the longest time I didn't have the confidence or energy to change things.
Then I did.
, the well regarded disciple of minimalism and long time lifestyle guru who writes at
, there are 39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely exist. Now that I've gone through numerous epiphanic experiences over the last couple of years, I wondered if I've managed to start living - by his definitions.
Love.
Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you
have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution
and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone --
it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person
at a time. My life is full with my children and friends, but I finally feel there is a crack opening to welcome something more. Or not. Maybe ...
Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go
out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim
in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot
through grass. Pay close attention to nature. I have enjoyed many walks in my neighbourhood, reading out on my deck and visits to the lake. It's been lovely - rain and shine!
Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really
enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If
you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give
yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more
enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly. I am, by nature, an eat-to-live person rather than live-to-eat type so this idea of savouring has been an epiphany. I appreciate good food. Now I savour it.
Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the
day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste
this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow
human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate
or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee. I am currently in the process of catching up on about 20 years of lost sleep. I'm hoping when I feel rested that I can start to do this. I enjoy getting up in the morning and having and hour or two for myself. I look forward to doing it again - soon!
Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what
might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business
for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked
for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing! Chances are being taken and I'm enjoying every one of them.
Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life
that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting
adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between). I'm still hesitating, but this idea is becoming more appealing :)
Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this
one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing
you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may
be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be
difficult, but you only live once. This is turning out to be far more difficult than it sounds, but I'm on the right track.
Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front
of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on
the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the
cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or
on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or
becoming a freelancer. It's worth it. Lucky me! No cubicle.
Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away
in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the
math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a
movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't
know what to do? Read further. I don't have it on often - well, except to play music through the day.
Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on
the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is
just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these
minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house.
Right now! And go and do something. This needs to happen more often!
Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you
have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting
for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon.
You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating
out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the
world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work
while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but
once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world. Way easier said than done, Leo.
Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a
list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that
you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the
most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what
matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them. I made this list a while ago. There has been a huge shift. It's time to re-evaluate my priorities and shift how much time I dedicate to things that are important - and not important - to me.
Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your
life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time,
pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible,
simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short
list, or minimizing it. Yeah. This has to be done.
Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk.
Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or
bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll
love it. And life will be more alive. Yes! Walking. Pilates. Walking some more. My hip is feeling better as is my ankle. I'm not going to make the mistake of pushing too hard this time. Happy to get out though!
Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative
thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others,
the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself
when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts.
Solutions. You can do this! I am constantly adjusting. I've learned to recognize the gremlins when they arrive and shoo them away quickly!
Open your heart.
Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it
ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a
problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect. I'm in full practice mode. It works!
Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic.
Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving
home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note.
Dress sexy for him. Okay, so no. Not happening. Not that it won't happen, just not now.
Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What
is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what
you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building,
and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of
them. Got it. Facing them. Head on.
When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun
and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We
lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A
loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain
intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the
pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy. Without the downs the ups cannot be fully appreciated. I am fully appreciative.
Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace
these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice
doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to
driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a
snail's pace. I don't know about "snail's pace", but I have certainly slowed down and leaned to watch, listen and enjoy.
Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured
neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them,
talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up
your materialistic lifestyle. I'm not quite here yet. More a factor of time and opportunity than desire.
Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn
compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the
sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying. Like above, time and opportunity is scare though I do have the desire.
Play with children. Children, more than anyone else,
know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When
they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun.
Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them.
Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them. When my children were little I learned to do this. It is hugely rewarding. I know to do this when with small people. Such joy.
Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned,
than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing
stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of
debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid
the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage
of their existence while they're still around. This I do. A lot. Far better to learn through their experience!
Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself
instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but
because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as
you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if
only because the process of improvement is life itself. I'm on learning overload - fantastic!
Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God
or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune
with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others,
this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you,
rediscover it, and its power. Right now I'm learning to embrace energy and the power of the universe. It has been mind-blowing and positive. Fantastic!
Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of
retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're
young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a
year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and
travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then
go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of
years. Done.
Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should
find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing
nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating.
Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be
still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do
this daily if possible. I used to run from my own skin. This is the biggest change. I am still, I can hear my heart, I am in tune with my life and the world around me.
Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but
they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing
online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever,
consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do,
outside. Finally something I don't find fun!
Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful
times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the
sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so. I forgot about this one. I do watch the sunset while on holiday but it does not happen in my day-to-day. Maybe it should?
Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And
they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past
them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy
novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done. In this, respectfully, I disagree. I love my magazines and am a dedicated reader :)
Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way
every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to
work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle.
Look at things from new perspectives. I've just gone through a wholesale change in my life. The big rut was broken. Now I'm revelling in it. Until I need to break out again, but not for a while!
Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless.
If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news
or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a
bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about. I am a news junkie, but I have to say, I've not watched as obsessively lately. Certainly not since the start of the summer.
Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways
to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy.
Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it. Yes. This is something I do and have always done regularly.
Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but
control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it
will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try
to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of
yourself now and then too. This I have done 100%. I never thought it was possible but I no longer feel a compulsive need to be in charge. I am no longer that insecure.
Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but
crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry
when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these
emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves. For years I was ridiculed and then it was demanded that I not cry. So I stopped. I've only recently remembered how to again. Sweet catharsis!
Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft
chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice
cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies
or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an
occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful. I am not a fan of sweets but as a special treat I'm happy to have Carole's carrot cake. Delicious!
Try something new, every week.
Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to
do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new
experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your
life. This is something I've tried. Keeping it up weekly is hard, but I've managed to seek new things often enough to keep things hopping. It really has been wonderful. I think I'm going to start this practice again.
Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things
you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or
planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What
is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you
experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation,
but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you
can in everything you do. This has been a very difficult thing to do! I believe that over the last year I've been able to master it and I revel in the moment. Guided meditation has been a wonderful practice. I enjoy my time sitting on the bench and looking at the lake. A few moments spent out on my back deck on a sunny day. Looking out the front porch at the pouring rain. I am very present and revel in my small moments of focus.
Leo Babauta is a writer, a runner and a vegan, and the owner of Zen Habits where this article originally appeared. My comments are in italics.
What about you?
