Last week I posted a TED talk I had never seen, from the response received I was clearly one of the few! In case you missed it: Shawn Achor TEDxBloomington. He spoke on the happy secret to better work. Of course, I was fascinated by the education examples given as it speaks the most clearly to me right now. Given his examples, I wonder, now that Claire has survived frosh week and almost through her first week of classes, if she will fall under the same spell that maybe Queen's (some call the Canadian Harvard) is no longer "enough". Will the blush wear off and have her focus on the negative? I would hope, given that she has been raised a bit differently than her peers, that she will still be thrilled at her choice and all the opportunities it opens to her - if she has the willingness and enthusiasm to go after them.
Certainly, in my home, she has been exposed to a method that I've been following - and Shawn Achor has validated for me that these practices do indeed create lasting positive change.
What are they?
Among other things like reading as much positivity I can; and, reducing the negative influences in my life (well, those I can reduce!) I regularly practice the following:
3 Gratitudes | Once I wake up in the morning, after I stretching my aching left hip and excruciating right ankle, I remember at least 3 things for which I am grateful. I say at least because even after my four children - see, a bonus! - I am grateful for my health (aches aside), my independence, my friends, my home, my choices, my life in general. I am indeed very fortunate. Not only do I wake to my 3 Gratitudes, I often go to sleep counting them - much like sheep. It leaves me with a smile on my face and pleasant dreams. Some days, when the daemons are after me, it's harder than others to come up with 3, after my children, but once I start it's hard to stop :) It's a mindset. I'm grateful for the shift. It took just the 21-days and I now scan for the positive.
Journaling | I'm always writing something - either 750words.com or in my Moleskine Journal to record my "morning pages" practice as outlined in The Artist's Way. I am also back writing here on the blog. There are lists in all manner of paper pad in the house and plenty of files in the computer. There is mindful journaling and nonsense journaling. I have to get into better touch with my nonsense self. Since hearing the talk, I journal one positive and playful thing each day.
Exercise | I enjoy exercise: walking, tennis, swimming, volleyball. I despise sweat. It is a constant battle but one I'm determined to embrace and just get on with it! I have a new Fitbit but it's not getting much use. I'm warring with myself over the pain in my hip and heel. I need to take off the weight, in order to do that I need to move more. I can't move because of the pain. It's a catch-22! Argh. I'm thinking of taking some Aleve, embracing the all-Canadian "suck-it-up" attitude and just keep moving ... I am reinforcing that indeed, I matter.
Meditation | I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I get it. The old Buddist belief "when the student is ready the teacher appears" is true. I've always believed that you don't "get it" until you need to "get it" even if you've been surrounded by the information. When your heart and mind are still enough and you are able to give yourself, your comfort, your control, away then you settle into who you are meant to be. A little woo-hoo for me a year ago and just a simple part of my every day now - like breathing. The best part? Learning that meditation does not mean sitting on a pillow with your legs crossed and palms up - it can be folding clothes, ironing, washing the dishes - those many mindless chores that can be so routine and calming. For me, driving is my meditation. For my sister, cooking is her meditation. I am not one of those who needs the longest list or do the most things at once. I'm not a deciple of "busy". For years I've been a dedicated unitasker. Meditation is a simple reinforcement of that practice. Where do you find stillness in yourself?
Random Acts of Kindness | Definitely on the bottom of my list. I don't know how effective it is, but I know as a regular participant it makes me feel good to provide a surprise for someone. Some big things, some small things - usually the order for the guy behind me at Tim Horton's or something similar. I don't know about the "random" aspect and how effective it is, but I'm keeping my options open :) I just don't know the impact on the recipient. I do hope it makes them happy! After listening to the talk I have a new (and inspired) attitude. Every morning I am sending one e-mail to one person to let them know how they positively impact me and my life. They're not huge involved notes, but they are genuine and heart felt. I'm enjoying the conversations!
I'm delighted that I landed upon each of these five happy secrets prior to hearing Shawn Achor's talk, and they have provided subtle shifts with HUGE impact in my everyday life. No, they didn't happen all at once. Hardly! But, now they happen every day, in different ratios - a lovely intermingled flow. I enjoy that these practices keep me in a wonderful space. A place of flow.
Sometimes my flow gets a bit jammed up with the occasional negative outside influence which interrupts my day, but often, when I get back into my practice, I'm able to pick back up pretty quickly without any anxiety or feelings of being adrift.
My lens has been changed. I am grateful, indeed.
