Hello 49

Me. Here. Now.

Today I've begun the last year of my fourth decade on this earth and it is both energising and exhausting to consider - but mostly, I can't wait to see what the future holds!

I've read plenty of articles sharing numerical lists of lessons learned as a celebration of birthdays. When I started this article I was skeptical of my reaching 49. Well, guess what? I did!

1. Treat people the way you yourself want to be treated. And, if you can't, remove yourself and be silent.
2. Show up. Be fully present and engaged. Life happens only when you show up.
3. Feel, fully. All of it. The good and the bad. Do not numb yourself with work or with distractions. Avoid the comfort of "busy".
4. The world is filled with introverts. It's okay to be one. Lean in.
5. Trust your gut. Every time. Your head may rationalize and tell you you're right or wrong. Your heart may honour walls of protection and tell you you're right or wrong. Your gut will always be true to you, your authentic self. Trust it.
6. Own it. Your actions, your words, your choices, all of it - all the time.
7. Learn the lessons from your past, do not dwell there. Though you might need to re-visit a few times.
8. Brush your teeth.
9. Your intelligence is not defined by the school you attend or the degree you earn. Sometimes the most intelligent people you will ever meet in your life never spent a minute in "higher education". 
10. Life is the best teacher. Stand your ground and stay open even when you want to run and hide.
11. Let the person in "shotgun" choose the music.
12. Make smaller, doable lists. Not those endless and-the-kitchen-sink-lists that defeat you before you start. In the morning write down 5 things you want to accomplish by the end of the day. Then do them. And celebrate your accomplishment at the end of the day - the things you did, not the things you did not do.
13. Smile, even when you don't want to. Especially when you don't want to!
14. Do not end sentences in a preposition ^ if you can help it.
15. Indulgences do not have to be expensive or time consuming. Honour your need to spoil yourself with simple things: a walk in the park, an hour reading, write in your journal, call a friend, go for a swim or run. Nourish your soul with the things that make you happy.
16. Sleep at least 7 hours every night. Aim for 9.
17. A handful of friends who will be there through a near drowning, a divorce, a move, and raising a few teenagers is way better than a few handfuls of friends who bail at the first sign of discomfort or conflict.
18. Those who live vicariously through their children are to be avoided. Really. Run the other way.
19. Do not smoke.
20. A paraphrase of the great William Morris quote: Surround yourself only with those things you find beautiful or of use to you. (His quote is: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.")
21. Do not settle. Ever.
22. Always be yourself. Do not conform to the expectation of others. After all, it's better to be liked or disliked for who you are and not for who you pretend to be. Right?
23. Being right has absolutely nothing to do with being in the majority.
24. When you change your mind it means you're listening and learning. Change is a good thing. Evidence that you are aware and flexible not rigid and stubborn.
25. Say "yes" as often as you can. Often someone else says "no" and you don't have to be the bad guy. And, by saying "yes" you may just have a really good - unexpected - experience.
26. Don't wait for the perfect time. It will not come.
27. Parenting has everything to do with accountability. If you can't be accountable, please do not be a parent.
28. Learn all that you can. Everywhere you can. Personal experiences. Stories from others. Formal education. Informal education. Books. Internet. Newspapers. Take it ALL in and make up your own mind about what you know, what you don't know and who can go screw themselves
29. If you have something nice to say, say it.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business. Really. (THIS was a liberating concept.)
31. The greatest parenting practice I've implemented in my home is my "24 Hour Rule". If it's not in the calendar with 24 hours notice you may have to make other plans.
32. Sing in the car. Hell, sing everywhere!
33. Sometimes you will be surprised by the support given by a stranger and the abandonment of a friend. Learn to live with the delight and disappointment.
34. Fill your life with people who do not agree with you all the time. Indeed, have a few who disagree with you most of the time. It keeps you humble. And informed.
35. On a medical form, the answer to SEX is Yes or No, not Male or Female.
36. I believe I am raising my children to make good choices. They may not be my choices. I have accept their free will and trust that they were raised well.
37. Laugh. Often.
38. If someone labels something or someone as "hard" or "difficult" remember that it is by their own experience that they measure. Something difficult for one person may not be difficult for you. Certainly take into consideration another experience, but evaluate based on your own.
39. Fair does not mean equal.
40. There really has to be an "I forget where I put the _____" gene.
41. Believe them when people show/tell you who they are - the first time. Okay, maybe give them a second chance, in case it was a bad day. But only one chance! Essentially? Trust your second impression, not the first.
42. Non-catastrophic mistakes are a part of growing up. They are expected. Make some. By that token, non-catastrophic mistakes are a part of being a grown-up. A chance to learn a few extra lessons.
43. There are bad people in the world.
44. In all things look for value. Cost means little.
45. The universe does not tolerate a vacuum. Be careful what door or window you open.
46. Find your meditation and practice it as often as you can. Mine? Folding laundry. Long Drives. Photo Walks.
47. Nurture a curious nature - yours and others.
48. Give up the need for control. Let things happen as they happen. If you try to control an outcome you are limiting your own opportunity for true joy. Your imagination is so much smaller than what the universe has available to you.
49. You can do hard things.

I'm looking forward to learning at least another 49 things this year!