Embrace Life

hello monday | 87

cooking classes are going well - survived #2 - stocks and soups!

hello birthday celebration. not in my original plans for the weekend, but the reason for the complete change in those plans. on-again-off-again-on-again party ahead. wishing everyone at patty digh's design your life camp a brilliant experience. i'm beyond disappointed i will not be joining in the fun.

hello pilates. i seriously did not, in my wildest imaginings, think i'd enjoy this, but i do!

hello sleepovers. another baffling activity that my kids enjoy.

hello sweet disposition. by the temper trap. i haven't heard it in months and it's now been following me around for days.

hello red tape. sigh. even the simple things are made complicated. double sigh.

hello television. another week filled with new programming. some i'll watch, some i won't watch, but all of it will be enjoyed! the early favourite: the blacklist. wow.

hello volleyball. the season has officially started! practice. practice. practice.

hello optimates dinner. so incredibly proud of my son for earning honours in spite of a tough year last year. i am looking forward to celebrating with him and his peers!

hello meditation. i found this one and have started saying it every morning. right now it feels about 75% authentic. time and habit will make it real. more real? this one from the dalai lama which really resonates with me. both were found via elephantjournal.com which has become a daily read along with the huffington post and brain pickings.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

discovery | lily kershaw

Over the years I've learned I just can't watch Criminal Minds - it's just too much for me to bear to know that the stories are often based in reality. I prefer to be blissfully ignorant of the nitty-gritty details of such horrific human behaviour - and I don't think a blueprint for crazy needs to be broadcast. I am aware, but I don't need to know. You know? (Wow, sorry, that kind of turned into a rant!)

Anyway, I happened to turn on Canada AM yesterday morning and there was an interview with Shemar Moore - which I listened to with half an ear. Fortunately at the end of it I was fully aware as the music playing was amazing. It was apparently from the show and it was breathtaking.

I may be the last person on the planet to hear it, but I wanted to share in case you are equally unaware:

 

The lyrics are lovely

Well I knew
What I didn’t want to know
And I saw
Where I didn’t want to go
So I took the path less traveled on
And I'll let my stories be whispered
When I’m gone...

When I’m gone
When I’m gone
When I’m gone

Well in this life you must find something to live for
Cause when the darkness comes a callin'
You'll go back to where you were before
Cause this life is as
Fragile as a dream, and
Nothing’s ever really
As it seems...

As it seems
As it seems
As it seems

Well I lost my innocence when in I let him dive
But the way that he looked at me
Made me feel alive
And now I know
Nothin' at all
But the release that comes when you're
In mid fall...

In mid fall
In mid fall
In mid fall

Cause in this life you must find something to live for
Cause when the darkness comes a callin'
You'll go back to where you were before
Cause this life is as
Fragile as a dream, and
Nothing’s ever really
As it seems...

As it seems
As it seems
As it seems

Sigh. So beautiful. Really lovely.

inspiration | more & less

Pinterest can be exhausting with all of it's inspiration! Like many of us, I was struck by a printable I found and though it was good, I wanted to make one more suited to me. And then I decided to take it further ...

my MORE

&

my LESS

Why both?

I've come to learn that sometimes you need to see both sides in order to get what you want in your life. I know "less" is perceived as negative, and I'm doing all I can to keep that out of my life, but in this case I think it gives some balance to what I want and need right now. I want to have all of my bases covered through the end of 2013!

What are you hoping for more of - and less of - going forward?

things we do | september, the new january

family favourite: lemon garlic chicken, mama rice and roasted broccoli

I love lists. I love order. I love schedules. I love my calendar.

I dwell in structure.

As far as that nasty seven letter word - control - I've pretty much given that nonsense over to the universe, but there are some things that are still within my domain. What? That would be my daily schedule.

As much as things change, some things stay the same. This summer was pretty spontaneous with the kids very much in charge. I went to a talk during our last school year where the speaker emphasized the acceptance of painful non-catastrophic mistakes made by our children. Well, I made room for plenty over the last few months! I have to say, my kids were (and still are) pretty remarkable. We learned a lot from each other. Lots of growth, understanding, acceptance and love. An enjoyable feat given that there is just me and four children between the ages of 13 and 17!

But, as always, I digress ...

Moving forward, I'm embracing the idea that I can only organize my days in a loose enough way to allow for change. I suppose my life has evolved to include "guidelines" as opposed to rigid plans. We're off to a late start this year as the school trip to the Northern Campus started the first week of the school year. Now that all of my kids are back and we can settle into the school year, this autumn brings with it a Morning Routine, an Evening Routine and (for me) a Write & Create Routine.

I ask a lot of my routine. It has to take into consideration four things:

1. I run a household as sole provider;
2. I have been unwell and need to get healthier;
3. I need to respect and nourish my creative side; and,
4. I must figure out how to develop a full - and fulfilling - future for myself.

The yin and yang of it all - tight schedules leaving enough time for self. Tough.

My days start at 6:00AM and end at 10:00PM.

MORNING ROUTINE

06:00    Alarm set to go off & Coffee maker programmed to start

             Brush Teeth & Wash Up

             Put on walking clothes & lace up sneakers

             Make smoothie, take meds & supplements

06:30    Write morning pages

07:30    Take kids to school and go for walk

10:00    MON: Errands, Appointments, Bills, Calls & Correspondence

             TUES - FRI: Write & Create

EVENING ROUTINE

10:00    Shut down everything: computer, television, lights

              Fill dishwasher and empty sink (if not already done)

              Head upstairs and wash up

              Set alarm & fitbit

              Settle in by 10:30

within all of that is my

CREATIVE ROUTINE

MONDAY: Morning Pages, Life Coach Session, The Next Chapter & The Desire Map

TUESDAY: Morning Pages, Writing

WEDNESDAY: Morning Pages, Creative Pursuits

THURSDAY: Morning Pages, Writing

FRIDAY: Morning Pages, Artist's Date, Blurb Project, Photography

SATURDAY: Morning Pages, Read & Research, Project Life

SUNDAY: Morning Pages, Read & Research

Though everything has been simplified it has not been reduced. There is a ton of content and I'm excited to start all of the creative challenges.

DINNER ROUTINE

Ah, the bane of my existence: "what do you want for dinner?" is being answered with a very simple:

MONDAY: Crock Pot

TUESDAY: Chicken

WEDNESDAY: Pasta or Pizza

THURSDAY: New (a chance to experiment!)

FRIDAY: Fish or Seafood

SATURDAY: Take Out or Go Out

SUNDAY: Beef

I am very fortunate that my kids are provided a good hot meal for lunch at school, but I want to make sure they eat well while at home, too. There are a few favourites and within their schedule I'll make sure they get them as often as we can manage.

And with that, order is restored!

Until it's not ...

Guidelines ... guidelines.

hello monday | 86

last week i went to my first meditation class. i plan on returning this week!

hello chloé and welcome home! tonight marks her return from a week away at the northern campus. i've missed her so much and look forward to hearing the stories of her adventures. well, the one's she is willing to share. i hope she had a blast!

hello photo walk. i'm joining in on the 2013 clickin'walk. i'm looking forward to bringing out the big camera for a change. i enjoyed this write up on approaching a photo walk. it was the reminder i needed that i really miss these adventures.

hello shero's school for revolutionaries. with jennifer louden for the whole week! this is something i plan to enjoy.

hello facebook purge. it all became too much - i couldn't maintain authentic relationships with over 400 "friends" on facebook! after reconsidering my own personal criteria, i went from 418 to 242 "friends". purged were anyone i should "follow" rather than "friend" as doing both is redundant; i purged anyone who does not provide me with positive energy and inspiration, i purged anyone who i have not interacted with in the last six months. i can't even tell you how blessed i feel to have such an incredible group of people who bring joy to my life every day.

hello sore back. the culinary class is fabulous - but wow, four hours of standing is tough! i think i have to set up some massage therapy on fridays for the next 11 weeks!

hello cleaning ladies. after a couple of weeks of drywall dust and painting i am looking forward to my house sparkling again. i love bernice and her team. they make the start of my week so calm and pulled together.

hello suburban. and goodbye ford whatever-it-is. i have definitely missed my big truck even though it's tough to park in the garage, it's a great thing to drive.

hello fresh paint. no more electric green or slaughterhouse red! our rooms are filled with soothing grays and blues. now the real work begins with deciding what stays and what goes. now. what else needs painting?

hello new television season. it looks like it's starting this week. hmm.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

anticipation | autumn

Bring it!

Cooler weather - low temperature and humidity. Rain is welcome!
Knit and structured fabrics in the heavier clothes.
Comfort food and the constant use of my crock pot.

I am NOT a warm weather girl. Not by any stretch. I never have been. Born in the waning days of summer, I'd love it if I could live there - in the comfort of jeans and a sweater - all year long! Even better when I add boots, a scarf and some gloves.

* * * * *

My favourite go-to recipe for autumn and winter is chili! Now that I've found out my food allergies do not (as suspected) include cheddar cheese, I'm excited to bring out the crock pot and make some soon!

CROCK POT CHILI

2 pounds (1Kg) lean ground beef (sometimes replaced or split with turkey)

1 large or 2 medium yellow cooking onions, diced

4 cloves garlic, chopped

2 packages McCormick® Chili Seasoning Mix, Original (I actually use a little less because we're not big fans of too much heat in our food - except Caden and he uses hot sauce to heat his up!)

2 cans (14.5 oz/410g) diced tomatoes, undrained

1 can (16 oz/454g) kidney beans, undrained

3 cups frozen corn

Brown meat in large skillet, with diced onions and garlic, on medium-high heat. With slotted spoon to drain fat, transfer into crock pot. Add in Seasoning Mix, tomatoes, beans and corn. Set crock pot to low and cook, covered, for 6-7 hours.

Serve with sour cream, guacamole, shredded cheddar and/or tortilla chips.

* * * * *

Now that our days are filled with lots of study, volleyball and voice lessons, I have no doubt this recipe will be in regular rotation in our house with our many evening obligations. The best part is that since it tastes so good the next day, it'll be a great just-home-from-school snack on those days our timing is really tight!

Autumn is my favourite season made even better with plenty of comfort food. What is your favourite go-to meal?

the current | thirty

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 8:17pm on september 18, 2013
weather: cool and clear. lovely.
mood inside: quiet and cozy. just waiting for duck dynasty :)

drinking a mug of steamy hot earl grey tea.

cooking has always been more of a burden than a joy. i'm hoping to change and have a better relationship with food preparation by enrolling in a 12-week culinary program. i can only hope my attitude improves. i'm exhausted after years of "ick" to anything green - or *gasp* healthy - and my kids former preference for chicken nuggets and kraft dinner. as their tastes change (thank goodness!) it's time for me to remind myself how to enjoy the process and results of mindful cooking.

listening to the boys banter with each other. love it! things are so different around our home when the girls are away.

watching: survivor: blood vs water. i haven't watched the show in a while. thought it would be a fun thing to catch. so far, so good - fun concept this year, well, fun until it implodes.

reading the new "oprah" and "real simple" magazines i picked up on my visit to fortino's earlier today.

wearing a long gray sweater over black yoga pants and sneakers. i love comfy clothes!

packing up a "care package" to send out to claire at university. i've been collecting goodies all month. can't wait for her to open it up!

planning on installing pot lights througout the first floor. very exciting stuff :) we won't live in such dreary darkness this winter.

feeling energised. i know i'm on the right path. i'm taking it all in.

wanting the painter to finish up already so that i can have less disruption in my house. i'd like to put claire, cole and chloé's rooms back together!

needing to find someone to come with me to the sensory deprivation tank place in toronto! this is definitely something i want to try.

wishing i could be more content with the amount of stuff i do manage to accomplish than all the rest of the stuff left to do on my list. i'm too much of a project magpie!

waiting for chloé to return from temagami. she's only just left for a week up at the northern campus. in this case no news is good news, i'm sure she's having a grand time.

thinking the best phrase i've heard in a long time is one from my friend, robin: "like nailing jello to the wall". oh my goodness. those words so appropriately summed up last week and i greatly appreciated the laugh they provided.

enjoying having the kids rooms re-painted. lots of blues and grays - very soothing tones. all but caden's room because he chose "waterfall" by benjamin moore and it is still perfect for him.

paying close attention to the things that are happening around me. fascinating.

encouraging myself to escape my comfort zone and try new things. scary and fun. i'm trying to focus on the fun.

celebrating the big and the little things around me.

cultivating some wonderful new (and old) relationships. i am blessed to have my life populated by such warm, kind, open, honest, layered and smart people.

marveling at how much dust lands in my house in one day!

anticipating learning a whole slew of new and wonderful things in the very near future. time to start ticking off all those things on the list - one thing at a time. so much to look forward to!

and tada, a portrait of moi (for those who haven't seen it on facebook):

hello monday | 85

autumn is in the air. jeans and comfy shoes. happy me!

hello second week of school. the first week was survived. indeed, they thrived! my kids are thrilled with just about everything: classes, teachers, classmates, lunch periods, class trip, co-curriculars, all of it. yay!

hello new camera. after the unfortunate dropping of my g12 - who's fault: the child who threw it, or the one who didn't catch it? sigh. i'm slowly getting used to my new g1x and the week in the life project was the perfect time to try it out. over 60 photos a day taken every day for a week!

hello sensory deprivation tank. have you ever tried this? it looks fascinating. as much as i'd love to head to seattle, or the dead sea, i'm hoping to find some place local to experience it. have you?

hello e-squared. the first experiment (of nine) is underway! 

hello anna magazine. something is wonky with my subscription, but i do love this magazine. a happy discovery is that i can read it online!

hello elephant journal. i receive this via my facebook feed and have really enjoyed the first couple of weeks of articles. it feeds my need to discover things new to me.

hello culinary school. starting on thursday nights for the next 12 weeks, i'm signed up to learn how to cook. well, i know how to cook, but i want to learn how to really cook. actually, truth be told, i want to learn how to enjoy cooking. we'll see!

hello volleyball team. this is going to be a fun season. a great group of boys. a lovely group of parents. a knowledgeable and kind coach. it's all about development and learning this year. i got a call (after being "warned" by the coach's wife) and now i'm signed up to be team manager. i figure if i have to be available for every event i might as well participate as more than just a fan and photographer :)

hello temagami, part deux. this week it's chloé's turn to visit the northern campus. i have 24-hours to wash all of caden's gear to make sure most of it is usable for chloé's trip! i can't wait to hear all about it. caden had a blast!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

inspiration | happy secrets

found on pinterest

Last week I posted a TED talk I had never seen, from the response received I was clearly one of the few! In case you missed it: Shawn Achor TEDxBloomington. He spoke on the happy secret to better work. Of course, I was fascinated by the education examples given as it speaks the most clearly to me right now. Given his examples, I wonder, now that Claire has survived frosh week and almost through her first week of classes, if she will fall under the same spell that maybe Queen's (some call the Canadian Harvard) is no longer "enough". Will the blush wear off and have her focus on the negative? I would hope, given that she has been raised a bit differently than her peers, that she will still be thrilled at her choice and all the opportunities it opens to her - if she has the willingness and enthusiasm to go after them.

Certainly, in my home, she has been exposed to a method that I've been following - and Shawn Achor has validated for me that these practices do indeed create lasting positive change.

What are they?

Among other things like reading as much positivity I can; and, reducing the negative influences in my life (well, those I can reduce!) I regularly practice the following:

3 Gratitudes | Once I wake up in the morning, after I stretching my aching left hip and excruciating right ankle, I remember at least 3 things for which I am grateful. I say at least because even after my four children - see, a bonus! - I am grateful for my health (aches aside), my independence, my friends, my home, my choices, my life in general. I am indeed very fortunate. Not only do I wake to my 3 Gratitudes, I often go to sleep counting them - much like sheep. It leaves me with a smile on my face and pleasant dreams. Some days, when the daemons are after me, it's harder than others to come up with 3, after my children, but once I start it's hard to stop :) It's a mindset. I'm grateful for the shift. It took just the 21-days and I now scan for the positive.

Journaling | I'm always writing something - either 750words.com or in my Moleskine Journal to record my "morning pages" practice as outlined in The Artist's Way. I am also back writing here on the blog. There are lists in all manner of paper pad in the house and plenty of files in the computer. There is mindful journaling and nonsense journaling. I have to get into better touch with my nonsense self. Since hearing the talk, I journal one positive and playful thing each day.

Exercise | I enjoy exercise: walking, tennis, swimming, volleyball. I despise sweat. It is a constant battle but one I'm determined to embrace and just get on with it! I have a new Fitbit but it's not getting much use. I'm warring with myself over the pain in my hip and heel. I need to take off the weight, in order to do that I need to move more. I can't move because of the pain. It's a catch-22! Argh. I'm thinking of taking some Aleve, embracing the all-Canadian "suck-it-up" attitude and just keep moving ... I am reinforcing that indeed, I matter.

Meditation | I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I get it. The old Buddist belief "when the student is ready the teacher appears" is true. I've always believed that you don't "get it" until you need to "get it" even if you've been surrounded by the information. When your heart and mind are still enough and you are able to give yourself, your comfort, your control, away then you settle into who you are meant to be. A little woo-hoo for me a year ago and just a simple part of my every day now - like breathing. The best part? Learning that meditation does not mean sitting on a pillow with your legs crossed and palms up - it can be folding clothes, ironing, washing the dishes - those many mindless chores that can be so routine and calming. For me, driving is my meditation. For my sister, cooking is her meditation. I am not one of those who needs the longest list or do the most things at once. I'm not a deciple of "busy". For years I've been a dedicated unitasker. Meditation is a simple reinforcement of that practice. Where do you find stillness in yourself?

Random Acts of Kindness | Definitely on the bottom of my list. I don't know how effective it is, but I know as a regular participant it makes me feel good to provide a surprise for someone. Some big things, some small things - usually the order for the guy behind me at Tim Horton's or something similar. I don't know about the "random" aspect and how effective it is, but I'm keeping my options open :) I just don't know the impact on the recipient. I do hope it makes them happy! After listening to the talk I have a new (and inspired) attitude. Every morning I am sending one e-mail to one person to let them know how they positively impact me and my life. They're not huge involved notes, but they are genuine and heart felt. I'm enjoying the conversations!

I'm delighted that I landed upon each of these five happy secrets prior to hearing Shawn Achor's talk, and they have provided subtle shifts with HUGE impact in my everyday life. No, they didn't happen all at once. Hardly! But, now they happen every day, in different ratios - a lovely intermingled flow. I enjoy that these practices keep me in a wonderful space. A place of flow.

Sometimes my flow gets a bit jammed up with the occasional negative outside influence which interrupts my day, but often, when I get back into my practice, I'm able to pick back up pretty quickly without any anxiety or feelings of being adrift.

My lens has been changed. I am grateful, indeed.

real right now | back to school

And then there were three! The obligatory Back to School portrait of my growing-up-too-fast-but-not-fast-enough children. Yesterday they went off to their first day of school after eleven weeks of holiday. I hope they remember how to learn!

I got a couple of "good" shots and far more "goofy" shots.

After years of experience, I've learned to stay home the first day of school. The parking lot is gridlock and the "newbies" are clueless as to how it all flows. Best to just wave and have them walk.

I did pick them up. Wow! What a bundle of energy in the truck. We spent the evening pouring over schedules, discussing how "awesome" all of the courses are and how "excited" they all are for the year ahead. I'm grateful for the mindset since I know that what you believe becomes real.

This is going to be a great year.

No back-to-school portrait of Claire, but she did send me a quick iPhone shot of her first lecture. Classics. She too is optimistic and had a great first day.

hello monday | 84

another one in the driver's seat. heaven help me!

hello 21 rules for everyday senseless joy. some silly. some brilliant. i'm so happy to have stumbled upon this list over the weekend. it was a must share!

hello school books. they arrived just in time. you'd think there would be no more to purchase and i'd have a bunch to hand down! i've discovered that after grade 9 the kids don't take the same courses. ugh. and if they do, they've changed the books.

hello uniform. oh, how i love uniforms! they're all pressed and ready for the start of school today. i wonder what kind of uniform claire will find for herself? it's her first year out of a kilt since grade 6! jeans and a sweater is my bet.

hello friends. so many of my kids friends have been away at camp or overseas or elsewhere for much of the summer break. i'm looking forward to hearing their stories of catch up when they get home today!

hello routine. and order. and all those things that make my heart sing.

hello temagami. this year the kids ship out on the early trips. finally chances are good that the snow will not be flying! each year i send them to the northern campus with my breath held for the duration of the 3- or 7-day stay. please, no hypothermia, drama or mean this year.

hello e-squared. i really hope it's as "beyond spectacular" as it claims on the cover. as of page 23 it's looking good.

hello workflow. each year brings with it a number of changes. it's time to re-work the flow. google is a wonderful thing. though totally impractical, i love how this is all set up.

hello week in the life. 2013 version. the camera battery is charged. memory card is cleared. calendar is full. there will be no dull day this week!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

things we do | week in the life 2013

For the last few years I've participated in the Ali Edwards-inspired Week In The Life project, with varying degrees of success through each effort. I enjoy the project as it really gives me a here-and-now look at my life and gives me the focus I need to really realize what I want to keep, what I don't need anymore and where I want to go with things for me and my kids.

As with any creative endeavour there are tons of ideas when projects start.

• Do I incorporate my Week in the Life into my Project Life?
• Do I participate at the same time as the project is "assigned" or choose another time?
• Do I make the project 12x12 or 8.5x11? Will it be digital or traditional paper and glue?
• Will I put it in its own album or will I print it via Blurb or some other publishing place?
• Will I use Ali Edwards' templates or some other inspiration?
• What will my colour theme be?

So many choices!

This year, as in the last couple, I am hoping to keep things simple:

• I will participate in this project on the designated dates - Monday, September 9 through Sunday, September 15, 2013, using Ali's handy-dandy daily document sheets.
• This will be a project separate from Project Life with Ali Edwards' 8.5x11 templates to be completed 100% digitally.
• Once done, I'll print them off at Persnickety Prints to fill an empty album just waiting on the shelf. (I'm doing my best to use what I have left - a lot of albums and page protectors!)
• You can only plan so much in advance. I think I'll let the days dictate colour, but I'm thinking of basing everything in simple gray or brown with only pops of colour here and there - visually calm and easy with a few words that reflect feeling more than actions.

You know the Arthur Ashe quote: "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." That seems to be my motto and I shall continue to embrace it.

My past projects look like this:

2012 :: 23 April - 29 April 2012
2011 :: Monday - Friday :: Saturday :: somehow I missed Sunday - c'est la vie!
2010 :: 19 April - 25 April 2010
2008 :: 20 October - 26 October 2008

I'm looking forward to documenting my week! What about you?

Hello 49

Me. Here. Now.

Today I've begun the last year of my fourth decade on this earth and it is both energising and exhausting to consider - but mostly, I can't wait to see what the future holds!

I've read plenty of articles sharing numerical lists of lessons learned as a celebration of birthdays. When I started this article I was skeptical of my reaching 49. Well, guess what? I did!

1. Treat people the way you yourself want to be treated. And, if you can't, remove yourself and be silent.
2. Show up. Be fully present and engaged. Life happens only when you show up.
3. Feel, fully. All of it. The good and the bad. Do not numb yourself with work or with distractions. Avoid the comfort of "busy".
4. The world is filled with introverts. It's okay to be one. Lean in.
5. Trust your gut. Every time. Your head may rationalize and tell you you're right or wrong. Your heart may honour walls of protection and tell you you're right or wrong. Your gut will always be true to you, your authentic self. Trust it.
6. Own it. Your actions, your words, your choices, all of it - all the time.
7. Learn the lessons from your past, do not dwell there. Though you might need to re-visit a few times.
8. Brush your teeth.
9. Your intelligence is not defined by the school you attend or the degree you earn. Sometimes the most intelligent people you will ever meet in your life never spent a minute in "higher education". 
10. Life is the best teacher. Stand your ground and stay open even when you want to run and hide.
11. Let the person in "shotgun" choose the music.
12. Make smaller, doable lists. Not those endless and-the-kitchen-sink-lists that defeat you before you start. In the morning write down 5 things you want to accomplish by the end of the day. Then do them. And celebrate your accomplishment at the end of the day - the things you did, not the things you did not do.
13. Smile, even when you don't want to. Especially when you don't want to!
14. Do not end sentences in a preposition ^ if you can help it.
15. Indulgences do not have to be expensive or time consuming. Honour your need to spoil yourself with simple things: a walk in the park, an hour reading, write in your journal, call a friend, go for a swim or run. Nourish your soul with the things that make you happy.
16. Sleep at least 7 hours every night. Aim for 9.
17. A handful of friends who will be there through a near drowning, a divorce, a move, and raising a few teenagers is way better than a few handfuls of friends who bail at the first sign of discomfort or conflict.
18. Those who live vicariously through their children are to be avoided. Really. Run the other way.
19. Do not smoke.
20. A paraphrase of the great William Morris quote: Surround yourself only with those things you find beautiful or of use to you. (His quote is: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.")
21. Do not settle. Ever.
22. Always be yourself. Do not conform to the expectation of others. After all, it's better to be liked or disliked for who you are and not for who you pretend to be. Right?
23. Being right has absolutely nothing to do with being in the majority.
24. When you change your mind it means you're listening and learning. Change is a good thing. Evidence that you are aware and flexible not rigid and stubborn.
25. Say "yes" as often as you can. Often someone else says "no" and you don't have to be the bad guy. And, by saying "yes" you may just have a really good - unexpected - experience.
26. Don't wait for the perfect time. It will not come.
27. Parenting has everything to do with accountability. If you can't be accountable, please do not be a parent.
28. Learn all that you can. Everywhere you can. Personal experiences. Stories from others. Formal education. Informal education. Books. Internet. Newspapers. Take it ALL in and make up your own mind about what you know, what you don't know and who can go screw themselves
29. If you have something nice to say, say it.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business. Really. (THIS was a liberating concept.)
31. The greatest parenting practice I've implemented in my home is my "24 Hour Rule". If it's not in the calendar with 24 hours notice you may have to make other plans.
32. Sing in the car. Hell, sing everywhere!
33. Sometimes you will be surprised by the support given by a stranger and the abandonment of a friend. Learn to live with the delight and disappointment.
34. Fill your life with people who do not agree with you all the time. Indeed, have a few who disagree with you most of the time. It keeps you humble. And informed.
35. On a medical form, the answer to SEX is Yes or No, not Male or Female.
36. I believe I am raising my children to make good choices. They may not be my choices. I have accept their free will and trust that they were raised well.
37. Laugh. Often.
38. If someone labels something or someone as "hard" or "difficult" remember that it is by their own experience that they measure. Something difficult for one person may not be difficult for you. Certainly take into consideration another experience, but evaluate based on your own.
39. Fair does not mean equal.
40. There really has to be an "I forget where I put the _____" gene.
41. Believe them when people show/tell you who they are - the first time. Okay, maybe give them a second chance, in case it was a bad day. But only one chance! Essentially? Trust your second impression, not the first.
42. Non-catastrophic mistakes are a part of growing up. They are expected. Make some. By that token, non-catastrophic mistakes are a part of being a grown-up. A chance to learn a few extra lessons.
43. There are bad people in the world.
44. In all things look for value. Cost means little.
45. The universe does not tolerate a vacuum. Be careful what door or window you open.
46. Find your meditation and practice it as often as you can. Mine? Folding laundry. Long Drives. Photo Walks.
47. Nurture a curious nature - yours and others.
48. Give up the need for control. Let things happen as they happen. If you try to control an outcome you are limiting your own opportunity for true joy. Your imagination is so much smaller than what the universe has available to you.
49. You can do hard things.

I'm looking forward to learning at least another 49 things this year!

 

real right now | letting go

Today is the traditional first day of school for just about everyone. My kids don't start classes until NEXT Monday - the 9th. I'm still reflecting and anticipating ...

Entering any new stage of parenting is a challenge. When these opportunitites for growth arrive, I often wonder if I'm up for it and feel like I muddle through rather than ease my way to the next stage.

This week I'm letting go in order for Claire to embrace her life.

Letting go means a fresh new start for my girl. New place. New people.

Letting go means driving to Kingston, Ontario, three hours away from home, a couple of days early so the sibs can be comfortable with Claire's new surroundings. Their approval and support is a key component to her comfort level.

Letting go means driving to Kingston, Ontario, three hours away from home, a couple of days early so Claire - my "anxiety" girl - can be comfortable with her new surroundings :)

Letting go means putting my boys on the VIA train so all of Claire's belongings could fit into the Suburban. It was a wonderful adventure for them!

Letting go means giving Claire a strict budget from now through Thanksgiving. Then through Christmas. Then through February reading week. Then through exams. Then we'll start all over again.

Letting go means someone else will have to be trained in the position of "shotgun". Claire rocks at "shotgun". I wonder who will be my new co-pilot? In this instance birth order counts for nothing!

Letting go means allowing for non-catastrophic mistakes to be made. Fingers crossed and notes to the Universe that any mistake made will build her character and create a firm foundation for learning. Fingers crossed and notes to the Universe that I remember that mistakes are to be expected!

Letting go means remembering frosh orientation week at University only happens once in a lifetime and it can be more fun than anything else up to this point in her life.

Letting go means worrying if she is eating okay, taking her medication/supplements, the condition of her eczema, her level of anxiety, her waking in time in the morning to make it to class on time, her making new friends, her enjoying classes and professors, her new sheets don't itch. Realizing and embracing that I have no control over any of it and she'll let me know if and when I can help.

Letting go means finally having the truck back to myself. Well, until I have to start teaching Cole who has just completed his DriveWise in-class course. His first in-car lesson is on this coming Thursday.

Letting go means I can curate and mail out some kick-ass awesome care packages.

Letting go means I have to learn Skype, SnapChat and FaceTime. Claire and I have just purchased identical mugs for soup and tea which will be part of the whole touch-base ritual. Now we just have to settle in and choose a regular time that will work in both of our schedules. I'm looking forward to hearing from her.

Letting go means it's time to have another baby - just not one in human form!

Letting go means I don't have to give voice my differing opinions. I am allowed to think whatever I want, but don't necessarily have to express my concerns. Breathe.

Letting go means I have to find someone else to go with me to Yame Sushi and Chapters.

Letting go means I am trusting that my girl has been raised well and knows how to make good choices. Good choices for her.

As a parent I don't often have opportunity for feedback since creating a full-fledged adult is years in the making. Even though she was in boarding last year, Claire was still with all of her siblings in a school less than a kilometre away from home. This year? THIS is my report card.

MORE important, this year is the time my girl will figure out who she is and who she wants to be. I'm so very proud of her and can't wait to hear all of her stories and discoveries! Well. Those she's willing to share ;)

hello monday | 83

move-in day at queen's went surprisingly well! this is a quick pic of the kids waiting outside of chown hall before the doors opened at 8am. one full suburban was delivered into one very small room :)

hello labour day. the last long weekend of the summer. ahh. wishing all of my friends driving up and down the highways much patience and safety!

hello 30 days of lists. a quick way to get back into writing and back into myself!

hello bonus week. while most of the kids in our town head back to school, we have one more week left of the kids' eleven weeks of summer break. it was a full holiday! i am happy for them to all go back to school and engage a new routine!

hello dribs and drabs. discovering all that i'm missing for the start of school. fingers crossed it's nothing big like a blazer - or socks! so far, so good. only caden needs a couple of more dress shirts.

hello school books. i ordered the books while we were away in cape cod - weeks ago. no sign of them yet. fingers crossed they arrive soon!

hello mama maintenance. this week brings along with it plenty of plucking and painting and primping from one end of town to the other.

hello volleyball. caden's baseball coach is running a volleyball team this season and has asked him to come to the tryouts. actually, he's asked repeatedly. we'll see if all the volleyball camps over the last few months were worth it. caden is nervous. i've told him it is up to the coach to keep him or not so go and give it his best!

hello new student orientation. cole, chloé and caden are spending a full day at their school on friday. they'll get a few volunteer hours, find out who is in their classes and get to meet a bunch of new students.

hello 49. well, this birthday arrived quicker than i expected!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

ONE little WORD | September Blog Hop

Hello and welcome to another installment of the 2013 One Little Word Blog Hop! All of the participants are so very talented. I look forward to see how they approached the monthly assignments each hop.

AUGUST 2013 | TAKING YOUR WORD INTO THE WORLD

Our assignment was to play with our word outside.

I failed.

August was very busy and the one opportunity I was outside regularly, I completely forgot to do what I had planned which was to write NOURISH while on the beach.

I settled for the next best thing. Finding my word out in the world around me:

With my Claire leaving for University, our cupboard was cleared out of her favourite teas and packed for her to enjoy while away. I went over to our local grocery store and bought a tin of each variety. I'm enjoying them. Tea is becoming part of my daily ritual for calm. I'm enjoying the process of finding a preferred blend.

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Thanks so much for being here!

I'm looking forward to seeing what all the other ladies on the hop - sheduled to go live at 6AM Eastern - have to share:

Next up is: Cheri: http://cheriandrews.blogspot.com

Below is the full list of participants. In case you get "lost" you can always come back here and find your way again:

Lee: http://thelinarstudio.typepad.com/embracelife << YOU ARE HERE

Cheri: http://cheriandrews.blogspot.com << YOU ARE GOING HERE

Margareta: http://www.paperpilekitten.com

Veronica: http://www.veronicanorris.typepad.com/

Ruth: http://suburbansahm.blogspot.com

Mrs. Wookie: http://MrsWookiesWanderings.blogspot.com

Naomi: www.poeticaperture.com

Michelle: http://www.table-for-five.com/

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How do you see your word in your life?

If you like what you see us doing, it's not too late to join in! After going through the hop, if you are interested, head on over and join the One Little Word journey with us!

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2013 One Little Word Hop FEBRUARY | MARCH | APRIL | MAY | JUNE | JULY | AUGUST |