I have been carrying a copy of this post by Ali Edwards in my bag since last September. I don't know what I've been waiting for, but this is what's real, right now, in my life:
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is warm, humid evenings spent watching baseball games under the lights. Listening to the crack of the bats, the umpire calling the count, parents reactions and kids enjoying themselves in a game I love.
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is having all of my kids out of school and starting "camp". Caden is at an engineering camp for the next couple of weeks; Chloé is at musical theatre - two camps over the next month; Cole and Claire start their respective math courses, for extra credit, tomorrow.
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is having a long-overdue root canal. It is a long process this whole dental thing, with follow up visits, crowns and that terrible drill sound! Long, and expensive.
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is realizing, after 5+ years of absence, it is time to open up my heart and make an effort to fill it with someone willing to be loved - someone who will offer respect, truth and kindness. I am no longer broken and am able to offer a whole me. Likely a better-than-ever version of me. Lessons have been well learned: I am worthy of love. I am enough.
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is having all of the exterior wood on our townhouse replaced. It's a huge project but made easier - logistically and financially - with all of the freehold owners participating.
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is the arrival of summer - the record breaking temperatures and off-the-chart humidex is withering. The burned grass and scorched plants are testament to an unnaturally un-Canadian start to summer. I'm ready for a cold snap, or at the very least a big storm to cool things off!
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW was applying for my first (out of the house) job since 1997! I hadn't interviewed for one in over 25 years. I didn't get it, but I'm proud that I put myself out there. Everything happens for a reason and though I'm disappointed, I recognize it is time to move on and find something else to do.
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is I am a full-time single parent dealing with four kids who feel abandoned and not worthy. They are conflicted over the (non)actions of their father and it has been a hard year. At least they take turns acting out. There has been a recent shift and now the youngers are cranky and out of sorts. I can only encourage them to be patient and compassionate and think of their father with kindness in their hearts. It's hard, very hard, but better than the alternative.
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is the realization that 6 wine-free weeks were not in the least bit hard, but I don't know what I managed to accomplish. No weight loss. No change. Very discouraging. Blood tests have been taken and I'm awaiting the results. Time to kick this tyroid thing (and the weight) to the curb!
WHAT'S REAL RIGHT NOW is our anticipation of Big Brother starting on the 12th. It is our annual summer indulgence in silly. We're looking forward to crazy challenges and a cast of intense and wild characters. There are and abundance of parenting opportunities and I will enjoy every one of them!
