A while back I submitted a suggestion for a guest post over at Simple Scrapper and was thrilled when it was accepted. Last week I saw my article appear! Wow. That was fun :)
I'm happy that I went for it by responding to the article call and that I was able to write on a topic about which I have strong feelings.
I thought I'd re-print it here for anyone who might have missed it over there. Though, you really should add Simple Scrapper into your reader so you don't miss anything! Jennifer is fabulous, and now that she's taking a wee bit of time to get to know her new wee daughter, she has a number of great guests offering smart words and ideas.
. . . . .
FINDING THE BRIGHT SIDE
It has been my experience that often things do not go as planned and you can make any seemingly disastrous event something fun and memorable: it’s all about your choice of attitude.
This is especially true when you add four kids in the mix! A few examples of how some of my simple plans have gone awry:
PLAN: A christening with the kids wearing their gorgeous silk outfits purchased for the occasion, surrounded by our friends, family and church community.
REALITY: A christening with one child refusing to change out of her cute pink sweat suit. Refusing in a very vocal and decidedly non-church-like manner.
RESULT: If you convert all of the photos to black and white everything looks fine. And, we now have a fun story that makes our family unique and adds to the sense of belonging to each other through our experiences.
PLAN: To put the house on the market in the morning.
REALITY: My son figured it was a good time to flush his favourite Power Ranger down the toilet to fight the bad guys in our plumbing system.
RESULT: A late night visit from the plumber, a huge bill, a roll-you-eyes story and the house still went on the market, only a day later than originally planned.
PLAN: To get the house tidied up and the dishes put in the dishwasher so we could spend the afternoon at the beach.
REALITY: Dish soap and Dishwasher soap are not the same and we returned to a kitchen full of suds.
RESULT: A huge soap fight and a very clean kitchen. And a layout, of course, which told the story.
PLAN: Spring Cleaning in my house includes a dumpster. In that dumpster goes all non-essentials and non-loved items not previously donated.
REALITY: Someone (yet to confess) decided my old Toshiba laptop – which was home to over 30,000 images, two novels, a dozen or so outlines and plenty of historical data – was ready for the dumpster.
RESULT: A lesson in “do” not store. (My one little word choice keeps showing up!) Like many of us, I plan to do things “later” and often later does not arrive. This was a reminder that there is no time like the present and if it’s important, do it.
Chalk all of these, and many other, stories up to what makes life full and interesting. This stuff happens to everyone, all great plans don’t happen quite as expected. You really do have to prepare to be flexible and have your sense of humour firmly in place. A camera doesn’t hurt, either!
I choose to be happy. I’ve spent much of my life surrounded by negative and unhappy people; my defense mechanism has become my choice to find the bright side. It is so easy to get sucked into the mire of negative, and I spent a lot of time there. Then I learned it is so much more rewarding, for me and those around me, to take a kinder more positive approach. It was a hard skill to master, but worth every effort. For the most part, I’m successful, though I do have my moments of challenge.
For those moments, I ask myself the same few questions:
- Is it worth the fight, argument or grief? Sometimes you have to choose to be happy rather than choose to be right.
- Is it a situation over which I have any control? If no, move on. If yes, be responsible, deal with it firmly (do not be wishy-washy) and move on.
- Is there any humour to be found? If there is, and there always is, laugh. A big joy-filled belly laugh. Everything looks better with a bright smile and a laugh that reaches your eyes.
I am very clear that there are tragic circumstances that force us to look at things differently, for a time, but I’ve managed to survive my husband’s cancer, my son’s near drowning, and my own near-death hospitalization with a reinforced belief that there is always a bright side. Even in the most desperate of times there is light and hope and kindness.
Recently our family has been going through unexpected change, which has resulted in a number of events that were not considered even a few months ago! Not one to let things get me down for long, I’ve taken our current situation and made the most of it. Fortunately, my kids are equally resilient and are looking toward our future with a kind, positive and adventuresome attitude.
No doubt, going forward, my scrapbooks and photo albums will continue to be filled with celebrations of our imperfectly perfect lives – evidence of our existence. It is what we have chosen to do.
How about you? How can you take another look at a situation and find the positive? The rewarding? The challenge? How do you find your bright side?
. . . . .
In addition to the question in the article, I have another. If you could write an article as a guest blogger, what topic would you choose? I'd love to know :)
