Sometimes I haven't quite decided on the final format for some stories I want to tell. The blog is the perfect place to house them until I figure it out. So with your indulgence, this is one of those stories ...
Family | What's in a NAME?
We have four mostly-wonderful-most-of-the-time kids. They were all born in the span of five years with the first arriving in December 1995 and the last in May 2000. Each has a very different story of how they came into the world but suffice it to say they were all: planned (I know, what was I thinking?); very different in temperament (not much has changed); and, unique in looks from each other.
Though they all had different journey's, for the most part, the pregnancies - all high risk - were pretty routine. Probably the best thing was my being on my own throughout all of them. I had no opportunity to depend on anyone as my husband was out of town and we did not live near family. Since I had no opportunity to wallow or give in to overwhelm, I had a lot of time to think about the most important question of all: what would we name them?
Naming a child is such a major decision as it shapes their identities and helps form the assumptions that are made by others. It is such a ridiculous practice to saddle the recipient of the name with judgements and assumptions, but it happens all the time by people as diverse as the school yard bully to the minister who baptises babies to the opinions and expectations of grandparents.
Above and beyond that pressure, I had some pretty rigid standards:
One syllable was important as my husband has a pretty long, difficult to spell, harder to pronounce, French-Canadien name. All names had to be simple and easy to spell and pronounce.
Gender specific was important as having a masculine name - Lee - in the early 70's, specifically the years of Lee Majors and the Six Million Dollar Man, in a word, sucked. Can I tell you how many times I was asked about which of my body parts were "bionic"? Though, in business it was fun, especially being in the grocery industry and having men show up for meetings and being flabbergasted that I was a female. Fun times! Many male French names ring a bit feminine to me (Michel, Daniel, Philippe, Etienne, etc), so those were out, too. The kids would all be given strong but gender specific names.
Middle names are a tradition in my husband's family with both his mum and dad called by their middle name, as I am called my mine. (Trivia question: what is my first name?) My mother in law also tells a story that Louis' name is backward and his middle name was supposed to be Louis, not Gilles - but they messed it up on his birth certificate. The kids would be called by their middle name.
Honouring heritage was important as our kids would be half Celtic and half French and all Canadian. The deal was that the girls, because they may or may not surrender their surname upon marriage, would be given French names and the boys would be given Celtic names.
No ette since their last name ends in ette it is crazy to give the girls a rhyming ette name, right? So no ette's here!
Adult names were also important. For example, a very popular French Canadien name for girls is Josee, (pronounced joe - zay). I can't imagine calling a 40+ or 50+ woman a name that is suited to a little girl.
No baggage was the only request by Louis, and I agreed. None of our kids would be named after anyone. They were complete individuals and would make of themselves, and their name, whatever they wanted with no expectation - real or imagined. The story of the most extreme baggage I've ever heard of was a few years back when a young boy was brought into our baseball facility. This kid was five and needed baseball instruction as he had a lot to live up to: his name was Nolan Ryan. Seriously.
Taking into consideration all of that it's a miracle my kids ever got names, let alone a first and a middle! What did we manage to settle on?
Nicole Claire
Aidan Cole
Olivia Chloé
James Caden
(Oh yeah, the other criteria - no decenders: f, g, j, p, q or y. I'm weird. I know.)
Why the similarity in Claire and Cole's names? Well, at 12 weeks, when I went in for my initial ultrasound, I was told that I was expecting a boy. I had no idea that, in Calgary in 1995, it was policy to tell every expectant mother that she was expecting a boy. The technician assured me I had a one in twenty chance of having a girl. As I had no previous experience, I believed we were having a boy. To make things fair, we decided Louis would choose the Celtic names and I would pick the French names. He chose "Cole". (I know, not technically Celt, but he could not be dissuaded!) During the long process of having our first child it occurred to me during one particularly painful contraction that one of two things could happen: I could die and the baby could be a girl. I made Louis swear that if either of those things happened - or god forbid both at once - the baby would be named Claire. I lived and my reward was the arrival of the most ethereal, translucent, blonde child who we named Claire. Not knowing we would have more, or if we'd ever actually have a boy, we decided to give her a "cole" name in the form of Nicole. Who knew that 13 months later our dark baby boy would arrive? He was and continues to be well suited to his name.
Olivia is not a French name. We know. But Louis had an Italian grandmother so we figured it was okay to have a bit of a "cheat" on the name. Claire has always been my most favourite of girl names, but Olivia comes a very close second. We overcompensated by giving Chloé an unmistakable French name - accent and all!
Why do they all start with "C"? That really was by chance. As a name, Claire was a given and so was Cole. When it came time to name Chloé our choices were somewhat limited as my criteria continued to be rigid. The bonus was I liked the idea that they all started with the same initial as my maiden name (which I had changed for the first 10 years of my marriage - while I was birthing babies, and have since taken back). For Chloé it was narrowed down to Chloé, Carmen or Catherine. As for Caden we had a bit of a crisis. It seemed that every boy in our town, if not a Matthew or a Ryan or an Andrew was a Connor, Cameron, Colin, Christopher, and I didn't want him to be just one of many. We were going to name him Liam. I looked everywhere and one day, while on the internet, I found Caden. Perfect!
Your boys names rhyme. Well, not the ones we use, that would be crazy. But we're at least consistent with the sounds we like! Though I will admit, having four kids with names starting with a "C" can be quite comical at times.
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Upon Reflection:
Now that we're well into a decade of name usage, I have to admit we did a pretty good job in our selection. Every once in a while I wish we had had a crystal ball or I could go back in time armed with knowledge and give Claire a different first name. Maybe Isabella? For each of our kids, most of the criteria was met. None of the kids are teased about their names, they aren't the only kids called by their middle names and other than Claire - who gets Bear - there isn't much you can "do" with Cole, Chloé and Caden. Though Caden did try. What a turkey.
Growing up I had a plan. I was going to have four boys and they were going to be named Adam, Thomas, Zachary and George. This went by way of many great plans .... Though, recently Caden has mentioned he'd have liked to have been called George and announced that his son will be named George - for me. What a sweet kid. I'm sure his wife will have something to say about it, but that's a long time off.
What about you? Are there stories behind the names you chose? Would you go back and re-name your kids? Do you love your own name or not? If you could have any other name in the world, what would it be?
