(They crack me up.)
I have listened to the same conversation about a half-dozen times in the last couple of weeks. I no longer participate as I find it fascinating to listen to my friends and peers discuss their children and how they parent them.
The conversation follows along the same lines:
1. I am so tired/busy/worn out ...
2. My children still expect me to ...
Eventually the questions is asked:
When are they going to grow up?
My answer?
When you let them.
This is certainly not an answer making me popular in my circle of friends. After all, if they let their kids be self-sufficient then what would they do? Which always turns into, so Lee, what do you do?
Um.
I do wake my kids. I'm the after-alarm clock without the sleep button that yells and yells each morning. After that, my kids are responsible for:
Bathing themselves, brushing hair and teeth; packing up homework; paying attention to their calendar enough to know if they need to be organizing gym clothes or not; make and eat breakfast; dress appropriately for school; unloading the dishwasher run the night before; pack their lunch with a representation of all food groups and one junk (usually a Jos. Louis - ick); and finally, dress appropriately for the weather and head to the car, which one child has already started on really cold days.
I drive.
After school they are responsible for completing their homework; packing materials for any after-school activity; being ready for said activity with enough time to arrive punctually as we all hate being late, unless daddy is driving and then we know everyone will be late; setting the table for dinner; clearing the front hall of all obstructions: knapsacks, shoes, jackets, hockey gear; shovelling or sweeping outside if required; loading dishwasher; turning out all lights and heading to bed at an appropriate time.
I give hugs, kisses and thank you's. Oh, and I'm responsible for stimulating dinner conversation or simply managing the giggling insanity.
In addition, my kids know how to: load the washer and dryer and make them run properly; make a meal for themselves with all appliances (except the youngers don't use the stove as it's gas and I'm still nervous); take the bus or bike to their friends homes; call tech support for their laptops or cellular phones; pay for meals in restaurants calculating proper tip; pack green boxes at the grocery store (we don't use disposable anything); mow and rake the lawn; and, open a wine bottle with a proper corkscrew.
I am somewhat horrified by some of the mothers who moan and groan about:
- cutting their almost teenage children's meat
- children determine all food choices for all meals all the time
- wiping the behinds of their almost double digit sons, same mums still bathe those sons
- daily runs to the school because baby forgot something, again
- those who start and finish school projects because the child is not artistic, too busy, not interested
- delivering their children to the mall and hand over credit cards and debit cards and are shocked when the kid has spent hundreds of dollars because no budget was set
almost exclusively these children are boys. For the most part, far more is expected of their daughters.
Weird.
Fascinating.
Bottom line? My kids are NOT PERFECT, but they are perfectly capable of matching and folding socks, vacuuming the floor, caring for their rooms, making their meals in a pinch, being responsible for themselves and their appearance and a whole host of other things that will ease them into the expectations and responsibilities of adulthood.
What do I do?
I let them.
(I was hoping to post my develop : on fridays assignment, but I'm behind, creatively uninspired this week. Not at my best. Grr. I'll do my best to get the spark lit so as to post soon!)
