Growing up in a family with no brothers*, I never anticipated spending my time in a hockey rink. I went to the occasional Toronto Maple Leafs game, when I lived in Toronto. I went to the occasional Buffalo Sabres game, when I lived in Buffalo. I even dated the occasional hockey player (on rare occasion, in the '80s, there was a hockey player over 5'11"!) Never did I learn anything about the game. Offside? Huh? Hooking, checking, spearing, icing were all foreign terms; though, I did get tripping, that, thank goodness, was obvious! Oh, that was such a long time ago.
I certainly never anticipated raising hockey players. Why in the world would I want to get up at 4:30AM to make a 6AM practice? In a cold rink, no less? Why would my children? Multiple practices. Multiple games. Tons of laundry. Skate sharpening. Hockey tape, oh, the hockey tape!
You can't fight culture. We are Canadian. We live in a hockey town. Hockey has been a real adventure filled with plenty of good, plenty of bad, and a lot in between. A real insight into the human condition. I'm a people watcher, so this has been a tremendous experience to see a lot! Some days have been so heart-warming, it makes me cry; some is so outrageous, it makes me cry.
Cole started "late" at the ripe old age of six. He was "doomed" from the start and I was assured he'd never be good enough to play "rep" since the teams are chosen practically from infancy, or your social circle. He was determined to learn how to be a good hockey player. Why? Because it was something he could conquer, a tangible talent he could master. Master it? Not yet, but he's well on his way. Each season he has takes it to new heights of dedication. After all, he started hockey not to learn how to play hockey, but to see that with hard work, grit, determination and the right coaching, you can learn some skills; skills he'll need some day in a boardroom or courtroom or some other place which requires years of training, fortitude, drive and ambition.
We learned from "mistakes" made with Cole and started Caden "on time" and he participated in the Timbit program. Caden is an oversized, happy-go-lucky, joyful child. He plays hockey because his big brother does. Or, he did. Now he plays hockey because he loves it. Absolutely loves it. He plays with a great sense of fun and camaraderie. It provides him with is social fulfilment, he loves his teammates. He has a passion for the game. Though he has a different approach than that of his brother, he's determined to be the best player he can be.
Both boys are a joy to watch and I'm so glad that those early days of dragging four children to Canlan Ice Sports for power skating classes, with hockey bags and strollers and diaper bags, turned out to be worth it. I still remember the crazy frustration of figuring out how the equipment worked and those old garters, how they tormented me!
The equipment has come a long way, as have we.
Earlier this week I was forwarded an article from ESPN. I've cut out the preamble, but to get an idea of our hockey life, it's 13 pretty accurate (to my experience) rules of hockey:
This is my gigantic preamble (to read the preamble, go here) to why you should one day sign up your
young son or daughter to play youth hockey at a local rink near you. If
nothing else, it gets them away from electronics and teaches them a
small slice of humanity that they can take forward through life, a life
with more heart and less battery power. The rink's cold robs
electronics of their battery power and signal reception, anyway.
So, if you are a first-time hockey parent, or dream of one day
spending more than $10,000 and sacrificing weekends for a decade of
glamorous youth or "minor" hockey, here are 13 important things you
need to know about the youth hockey universe -- and hockey in general
-- to help speed up the assimilation process in joining the
"Congregation of Independent Insane in the Membrane Hockey Community
Union" or COIIITMHCU. If you move those letters around you eventually
get Chicoutimi. A miracle from the star-filled heavens above. (I'm sure
my fellow COIIITMHCU members will offer even more, and we can post next
week.)
1. Under no circumstances will hockey practice ever be
cancelled. Ever. Even on days when school is cancelled, practice is
still on. A game may be cancelled due to inclement weather because of
travel concerns for the visiting team, but it would have to rain razor
blades and bocce balls to cancel hockey practice at your local rink.
It's good karma to respect the game.
2. Hockey is an emotional game and your child has the
attention span of a chipmunk on NyQuil. The hockey coach will yell a
bit during practice; he might even yell at your precious little Sparky.
As long as there is teaching involved and not humiliation, it will be
good for your child to be taught the right way, with emphasis.
3. Hockey is a very, very, very, very difficult game to play.
You are probably terrible at it. It takes high skill and lots of
courage, so lay off your kid. Don't berate them. Be patient and
encourage them to play. Some kids need more time to learn how to ride
the bike, but, in the end, everyone rides a bike about the same way.
Your kids are probably anywhere from age 4-8 when they first take up
hockey. They will not get a call from Boston University coach Jack
Parker or receive Christmas cards from the Colorado Avalanche's
director of scouting. Don't berate them. Demand punctuality and
unselfishness for practice and games. That's it. Passion is in someone,
or it isn't. One can't implant passion in their child. My primary
motive in letting my kids play hockey is exercise, physical fitness and
the development of lower-body and core strength that will one day land
them on a VH1 reality show that will pay off their student loans or my
second mortgage.
4. Actually, I do demand two things from my 10-year-old
Squirt, Jackson. Prior to every practice or game, as he turns down
AC/DC's "Big Jack," gets out of the car and makes his way to the trunk
to haul his hockey bag inside a cold, Connecticut rink, I say, "Jack,
be the hardest, most creative and grittiest worker ... and be the one
having the most fun." That might be four things, but you know what I
mean.
5. Your kids should be dressing themselves and tying their
own skates by their second year of Squirt. Jack is 67 pounds with 0
percent body fat and arms of linguini, and he can put on, take off and
tie his own skates. If he can, anyone can. I don't go in the locker
room anymore. Thank goodness; it stinks in there.
6. Do not fret over penalties not called during games and
don't waste long-term heart power screaming at the referees. My
observational research reveals the power-play percentage for every Mite
hockey game ever played is .0000089 percent; for Squirts, .071 percent.
I prefer referees to call zero penalties.
7. Yell like crazy during the game. Say whatever you want.
Scream every kind of inane instruction you want to your kids. They
can't hear you. In the car ride home, ask them if they had fun and
gently promote creativity and competiveness, but only after you take
them to Denny's for a Junior Grand Slam breakfast or 7-Eleven for a
Slurpee. Having a warm breakfast after an early morning weekend game
will become one of your most syrupy sweet memories.
8. Whenever possible, trade in your kids' ice skates and buy
used skates, especially during those growing years and even if you can
afford to buy new skates every six months. Your kids don't need $180
skates and a $100 stick no matter what your tax bracket is. They will
not make them better players.
9. Missing practice (like we stated above) or games is akin
to an Irish Catholic missing Mass in 1942. We take attendance at hockey
games very seriously. Last week, the Islanders' Brendan Witt
was hit by an SUV in Philadelphia. Witt got up off the pavement and
walked to Starbucks for a coffee, and then later played against the
Flyers that night. Let me repeat that: BRENDAN WITT WAS HIT BY AN SUV
... AND PLAYED THAT NIGHT! Re-read that sentence 56 times a night to
your child when they have a case of the sniffles and want to stay home
to watch an "iCarly" marathon. By, the way Philadelphia police cited
Witt for two minutes in jail for obstruction. Witt will appeal.
10. Teach your kids not to celebrate too much after a goal if
your team is winning or losing by a lot. And by all means, tell them
celebrate with the team. After they score, tell them not to skate away
from their teammates like soccer players. Find the person who passed
you the puck and tell him or her, "Great pass." We have immediate group
hugs in hockey following a short, instinctive reaction from the goal
scorer. I am proud of my boy for a lot of things, but I am most proud
at how excited he gets when a teammate scores a goal. He is Alex Ovechkin in this regard.
11. There is no such thing as running up the score in hockey.
This is understood at every level. It's very difficult to score goals
and unexplainably exhilarating when one does. Now, if we get to 14-1,
we may want to take our foot off the gas a tad.
12. Unless their femur is broken in 16 places, Mites or
Squirts should not lie on the ice after a fall on the ice or against
the boards. Attempt to get up as quickly as one can and slowly skate to
the bench.
13. Do not offer cash for goals. This has no upside. Passion
and love and drive cannot be taught or bought. I do believe a certain
measure of toughness and grit can be slowly encouraged and eventually
taught. Encourage your kid to block shots and to battle hard in the
corners. It will serve them well in life.
Enjoy the rink. Keep it fun, keep it in perspective and enjoy the
madness. In this digital world of electronics, you may find hockey to
be the most human endeavor you partake in. Cell phones run on
batteries. Hockey players run on blood. Blood is warmer. Welcome.
He's right, there is madness. Utter madness. Cole just played in his Silver Stick tournament in Alliston last week and we saw some of the worst of hockey. Really, the worst of hockey parents. Parent. One mother-of-goalie for another team was rabid. Completely rabid. Screaming at the top of her lungs for her son to slash our boys - in the head. Seriously? Then the nut-job continued her rant after the game by going after our coach in the parking lot. She certainly brought new meaning to "sore loser". It could have been a good game. The other team has talent as our team does. They were let loose to win at all costs, all sense of discipline, grit and determination was given way to the worst elements of this sport.
We meet that team again.
Tonight.
Here's hoping we can just keep it fun!
*I'm old, in my day girls did not play organized hockey.
I am conflicted
Tragedy brings out the best in everyone, doesn't it? We all come together and rush to do the best we can for victims of unexpected trauma. Such is the response to the recent events in Haiti. Everyone is rushing everywhere. These people, Haitian people, who have suffered so much for so long.
I am similarly affected by the events and have sent in my donation and support all efforts in that regard.
I did that even though I have a few questions:
Suffered so much? Incredible!
Political turmoil, corruption, natural disaster, AIDS ... incredible. Is this overwhelming response a reaction to this Haitian tragedy tinged with an emotional mountain of GUILT? These people have been suffering for GENERATIONS, not just in the past few days, but years. Years upon years.
So, my $50 has been sent to be combined with the donations of hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands of other people. Will this help? Or will it be used to line the pockets of those who do that kind of thing. For generations.
Or is my $50 better spent helping that man on the corner of the street, or giving to the soup kitchen or buying toys to "fill the net" at Christmas?
I am conflicted.
Are you?
Posted on 14 January 2010 at 05:00 AM in social commentary | Permalink | Comments (9)
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