Embrace Life

It Is Time to Move On

It is time for me to fully embrace life and move onto my next chapter.

For the last couple of months, since purchasing my license to be a Desire Map facilitator, I've been designing and building a business and a website, leecurrie.com, with the patient and talented Kenda Blum. Kenda and I have known each other for years and I think she's relieved to finally see one of my many ideas actually be realized!

I am so grateful for all of you who visit, comment and have supported me here on Typepad since 2008. You have watched my kids grow up. Witnessed my frustrations, growing pains and epiphanies. Supported me through my divorce. Suffered the demise of Google Reader. Encouraged my photography and writing and all other manner of creative exploration. You, each of you dear readers, are a very important part of my past, my present and I do hope you follow me to my new home here on the web and become an integral part of my future.

Some things will be the same. Many things will be different. All things will be fun and reflective of the lessons I've learned on this marvelous journey of growth into authenticity.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

 

Lee
xo

hello monday | 147

hello wordpress! i am so flipping excited :D please join me in my next chapter. click here and sign up to be on the new mailing list! yep. legit :D

hello tears. i asked some clients, teachers and friends to provide me with testimonials for my new site. what they sent blew me away. i am blessed.

hello hand reading. did you know you could change the lines on the palms of your hand? neither did i. fascinating stuff.

hello exam season. study notes are being written and study plans are being made. one of the great things about our school is that they really teach the kids great study habits. even better? the kids pay attention and implement those lessons.

hello networking meetup. jumping in with both feet!

hello reading week plans. it looks like i'm beach bound after all. i'm looking forward to a few days with my girl, claire! now to organize that it doesn't put me in the poor house.

hello reflexologist. i have marble sized balls of pain on the underside of both feet. no medical professional has been able to provide any insight - or relief. let's hope the reflexologist can help!

hello carol services. the christmas season has officially begun. i already feel like i'm way too far behind!

hello staying open to new things. love it.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

hello monday | 146

with much thanks to liz lamoreaux, my core desired feelings (connect, trust, expansive, allow and grace) can be worn every day.

hello snow. and it's sticking :( too early.

hello wordpress tutorial. lets hope i can learn (and retain) all the lessons that kenda will teach me today!

hello exam schedule. blink. this term has flown by quickly.

hello last class. my latest creative writing course ends this week. luckily brian is teaching more and i'll be signing up again.

hello fame rehearsals. after a late start it sounds like all is going well. lots of dancing, singing and acting being practiced regularly.

hello volleyball. after a couple of weeks off due to injury, caden is back on the court practicing. i'm looking forward to seeing him in action.

hello ladies lunch. i'm delighted to host a lunch for the upper one mums. this grade has a good group of kids and i am looking forward to meeting anyone i don't know yet.

hello friends. lunch with some, dinners with others. i have a pretty full calendar this week. and very little cooking!

hello blood tests. hopefully all continues to be well. improved, even.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

hello monday | 145

hello another day off school. it's a holiday today. the kids are sleeping in. yay! that means i got some extra zzz's, too.

hello orthodontist. which teeth stay or go?

hello mindfulness. through my b-school message group i found a fabulous app that i am really enjoying. for $1.99 it's better than a prescription! i enjoy the pauses through my day.

hello cut & colour. yet another form of meditation.

hello movers. it's time for the kids to have their bedrooms moved over. mine will have to wait until the townhouse sells - sooner rather than later!

hello lunch. nothing beats jonathan's for lunch (or dinner). i'm looking forward to the company and conversation with my dad! this'll be fun.

hello new website. slowly taking shape. so exiting!

hello desire map materials. the box has arrived and now i have all of the materials needed for the first and second classes. this is going to be great :D

hello dress shopping. though we have not yet received the list of restrictions for this year, my girls are already shopping for their christmas party dresses. fingers crossed we don't have to replace them!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

hello monday | 144

hello nanowrimo. already behind!

hello bullies. every once in a while, to keep the peace, you have to concede to the bully. the problem with that is the bully thinks s/he has won. and sometimes it feels that way, too. i feel slimed.

hello week in the life. now the real creativity begins!

hello carpet. three rooms, two hallways. i'm afraid to wonder what is next!

hello party fallout. bad kid behaviour is a guarantee of bad parental behaviour in response. amazing how many kids are not held accountable for their choices. what does the parent want - the phone call or the secret?

hello snow. off and on. too early!

hello bruise. after a very hard landing, caden earned a massive cantaloupe sized lump on his right hip. nasty ugly stuff. at least the x-rays showed no break.

hello parent teacher interviews. all of my kids are encouraging me to go. they are either confident or crazy :)

hello long weekend. didn't we just have one of these?

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

Wishcasting | 37, 38, 39 & 40

WISHCASTING | 37 If anything's possible (and it is), what would you wish for?

I want for very little, but if I could wish for anything (beyond good health and good choices for me and my children) it would be for a lifetime membership to and property at Canyon Ranch, Tucson. I would visit regularly and make the desert lifestyle a more physcially present part of my life and not just every April!

What about you? If anything's possible, what would you wish for?

WISHCASTING | 38 Who is the "you" you wish to be?

I want to be comfortable in my own skin. In that I mean, I want to be the weight of the woman inside. The weight of the woman with my test results. I have no problem with the look of the weight - as in I feel no shame because of it - but I do have a problem with not looking like how I feel. The woman I wish to be better resembles the woman I was before the thyroid disease, before the frozen shoulder, before adrenal failure. I am happy to be the woman who had four kids in four-and-a-half years who is now 50. The rest I could do without!

What about you? Who is the "you" you wish to be?

WISHCASTING | 39 What rules do you wish to break?

Given the current level of bullying and mean behaviour I've witnessed, I have some serious issues with societal rules of engagement. Especially those that just don't ring true in that they are meant to elicit an inauthentic response - the made up rules that protect the bully and shame the victim. I wish to break every rule that does not honour the only one that matters to me: treat people the way you want to be treated. 

What about you? What rules do you wish to break?

WISHCASTING | 40 How do you wish to be brave?

I wish I could consistently stand in my truth every minute of every day. I would let the words and actions of those in "power" (who use judgment and shame to manipulate) just wash over me with no reaction. I would really like to convert my current reaction of anger and helplessness to pity - or even generosity and gratitude.

What about you? How do you wish to be brave?

_______________________________________________________________________

These are responses to the prompts found in Jamie Ridler's 52-week e-course: What If You Filled Your Year With Wishes. Though I'm more goal-oriented than a dream-believer, I have a fondness for wishes. Recently, there has been much heart-work done and I can be more authentic, more gentle and more kind with myself and my wishes.

#HouseRules

Inspired by a recent IKEA ad, it got me thinking about our own house rules. Things are so different now in a house of teens rather than a house of toddlers. Some of the rules have stayed the same and some of the rules have changed along the way.

I thought I had just two simple rules in my house: treat people the way you want to be treated; and, give me 24-hours notice of plans.

My kids corrected me! It turns out there are a few more:

Don't impose your bad mood on others. A good mood? Impose!

Put glassware away in the cupboard upside down.

Don't leave the house without letting someone know where you're going - and when you plan to return.

Wood spoons and white spatulas go with wood spoons and white spatulas, all other kitchen utensils go with all other kitchen utensils. There is no reason to mix them all up.

Always answer your phone if the caller is someone related to you. (Unless you're in the shower or sleeping. Then call back as soon as you can.)

Show up. Own it. Look for good. Only good.

Let me repeat: what others think of you is none of your business.

Toilet paper comes over the top and the roll must be replaced in the same manner when empty.

If you can't live your life as though your actions and words were to be printed on the front page of the newspaper, perhaps you should reconsider those actions and words.

Put the driver's seat back to position #1 and turn down the music when you return the truck.

When empty (only drops left = empty) replace the milk bag in the fridge. Do not leave the container empty on the counter. And throw the little plastic triangles in the garbage when a new bag is opened.

Secrets are toxic. No whispering.

Get yourself up in the morning. You don't like to hear yelling in the morning only half as much as I don't like yelling.

Intollerance will not be tolerated. (Yes, I understand the hypocricy.)

Make sure you have everything with you that you need for school. With rare exception will it be delivered to you. That includes homework, gym clothes and food.

Do not delete shows from the DVR if they were not recorded for your own personal enjoyment.

When out of the house or off school property, do not use data on your phone!

When going to Fortino's, check to make sure we have the basics: bread & milk etc. before you go. And then buy what's missing.

This too shall pass - the bad times and the good times.

Who you choose to be your boyfriend/girlfriend is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Your family will tell you the truth. Listen. We love you.

The toilet seat is always to be in the down position. Unless in use, of course.

Tell mama first. I do not want to hear from someone else's mum that you did *gasp* at an event. Best to own it and let me know first so I am prepared for the well-meaning - or pot-stirring - "friend" and her "news".

From a place of pure joy and trust, you all sing in the shower. We all suffer through every note - no one can complain about the other! :D

Clothes on your floor do not get washed. And still-folded clothes returned to the laundry room do not get washed either.

Teddy was right: comparison is the thief of joy.

Bickering over provable nonsense is exhausting. If you're going to argue please determine an idea to ease world hunger, devise a plan to stop all wars, find a cure for ebola and other terrible diseases. Nonsense? Ugh.

Check the COZI, if there is nothing, the answer is probably "yes". (Even with the 24-hour rule in place!)

Homework first.

If someone - anyone is talking trash about anyone in your family, defend first and get the facts later.

If in doubt: breathe. In-two-three. Out-two-three. Then speak.

And with that, we're done! What "rules" do you have in your house? How many have changed along the way? 

hello monday | 143

hello week in the life. it starts today!

hello pool table. caden had the first break and then chloé beat him. a great start!

hello ping pong attachment. even better? the ping pong table overlay. and the schock on cole's face when he realized his mama can play :)

hello cc-40. some battles are just not worth waging.

hello hallowe'en. a big deal in this house with costumes being purchased, parties being planned and candy being negotiated. we even got a fog machine!

hello pulmonary function test. asthma is a chronic thing in our family. it's time to rule it in or out - or in -  for caden.

hello elementary. i have missed this show!

hello letting go. mercury has (finally) packed up it's time of short tempers and  miscommunication and moved out. at least until january 21, 2015.

hello new conversations. after the tragic and disgusting violence of last week, with the death of two men in canadian armed forces uniforms, we have had many new conversations with diverse fears and insight. it reopened the conversation with cole asking to get a maple leaf tattoo. 

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

hello monday | 142

hello air. i spent a very full weekend buried in all things desire map and the future planning of my life as a clarity coach. such exciting stuff! time to come up for air.

hello name changes. it's offical.

hello bully. you would think at my age i wouldn't run into that many but the fact is mean girls grow up to be mean women. with this one i will no longer engage.

hello consistency. someone asked me the other day how my kids are "so well adjusted". my answer? consistency. they always know exactly what to expect from me. it made me a good executive, too.

hello pool table. i ordered one for the basement - with the ping-pong tabletop option. it's being delivered this week. i can't wait to play again - if my kids give me a chance!

hello volleyball. lots going on this week - playing and watching.

hello writing with style workshop. i learn so much at these occasional day-long writing sessions. this should get me all geared up for nanowrimo!

hello week in the life project. i so enjoy this project and don't miss it. though, with autumn being so very busy, i think i'd prefer it in the winter/spring. maybe february when i'm looking for things to do! at any rate, it's next week and i have my kit - and got one for my sister too!

hello treadclimber. pooped, but worth it.

hello nutcrackers in the house. it's been decided: christmas is on this year. nutcrackers are the theme.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

real right now | my future starts now

Well, it started earlier this week.

I knew last year when I hosted my Desire Map Book Club that I wanted this concept, this setting of goals with soul, to be the foundation on which I built my future. At the time I had no idea how I was going to do it! Well, Danielle LaPorte and her brilliant Team D did all that figuring and arranging and organizing for me. They are a remarkable group and I am thrilled to be affiliated with them.

I have spent the last couple of weeks in a beta workshop with Sandi Faviell Amorim to learn all I possibly can from a Master Coach and my fellow participants so that I can offer the best, most complete and fulfilling programs possible.

This is a truly wonderful Thanksgiving week! I have so much for which to be grateful and it only compounds with the more I learn and appreciate. Now I am utterly SWAMPED with paper and the promise held within each page. And learning, as quickly as I can, all of the ins-and-outs of affiliate programs, Facebook pages, website design and business cards. I have even booked the space to use for the upcoming workshops starting on January 7th!

I hope you'll join me.

Now I'm off to Kundalini yoga to get in the right mind set for a creative and challenging weekend - I'll be spending my time building my future.

the current | forty-three (the retrograde version)

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 4:55pm on 15 october 2014
weather outside: a cool 12C - feeling muggy
mood inside: reflective and mellow

We are in the middle of the final Mercury Retrograde of the year. I have learned to embrace these 3-week anomolies in my year. I am a Virgo's Virgo and Mercury is my friend - so I learned from the astrologist at Canyon Ranch in April :) As part of my journey to knowledge, earlier this year I posted about the effects of the season and decided to finish up the year by incorporating it into my current "current" post. (Typical of the time, I searched my blog archives for the post when I thought of this idea - and it was nowhere to be found, until I started writing. Strange. Expected.)

REsiding in my lovely new home. My favourite room is the kitchen/family room. Or maybe my office. Nah, my bedroom. There are so many good places I can't seem to settle on one thing that is "best" and that is a good thing!

REviewing content. What do I want to keep blogging about? What do I want to keep crafting? What do I do that brings me the most joy?

REalizing just how much has changed in the last year. In the last five? It's completely mind-boggling.

REnewing my attitude and approach to my health and the super-gross-and-disgusting amino acid supplement powder I have to take every day. Not only does it taste awful, the texture is worse than anything I've ever been forced to consume.

REflecting on oodles of old photos - thousands of them. I want to enlarge four photos - one for each kid - and put in the family room. Tough process.

REviving my passion for reading. I have spent the last few months reaquainting myself with writing. It's now time to read, for the joy of it.

REminding myself that I am exactly where I need to be right now.

REsearching an idea for my hero's journey. I think it just might work!

REconciling myself to the reality that some people cannot help themselves and find a hobby - like reading, or crochet, or painting. No, their idea of a hobby is meddling. Help me to be patient and quiet!

REviewing my new wardrobe and finding myself happy with the results.

REmembering to put myself on the top of my list.

REfreshing my view of some old situations. Making sure I am looking at situations and people with my own point of view that has not been tainted by the views of others. 

REbounding from another flipping cold! Consuming zinc, vitamin C and oregano oil at an alarming rate!

REcalling the things that made me happy, really happy, when I was a child. First and foremost were colouring books. And jigsaw puzzles. It's time to revisit those activities and bring them back into my life.

RElocating boxes - from the garage into the basement. Hoping to put on the shelves soon!

REconsidering my stand on travel since one child wants to go to the Turks & Caicos for reading week and another wants to travel the Ring Road in Iceland. I'm busy researching both. (Can my kids be any more different in their choices of destination?)

REelect signs are EVERYWHERE. It looks like we're in for a few more years of same-old-same-old.

REfinishing the kitchen table and chairs will be a big project! It is desperately needed, but may have to wait until next spring, when we can eat at the table outside.

REnegotiating my non-negotiables. Some I've had out of habit for years. It's time to delve a little deeper and see what works and what doesn't.

REstoring my enthusiam for cooking. I have new cookbooks - all of the "one pot" variety" which has helped with the clean up!

REmoving all doubt, it's time to move into my Next Chapter by reinvesting in myself and my plans for the future.

And, after much thought, I decided to review my purchasing of juices from Tree of Life and reordered the green (#1 and #3) drinks to supplement my poor vegetable consumption:

real right now | amid the thanks and giving

I am always a little wary of the "Christmas season" as I find it to be one that does not bring out the best in people. Instead, I prefer the more low-key idea of thanksgiving as a season of lowered expectations and raised gratitude.

With our proximity to the U.S., where their Thanksgiving heralds the start of their holiday season, I've decided to use my Canadian Thanksgiving - the second Monday of October, to mark the opening to my "Thanksgiving season" which, this year, will span from Monday, October 13 through Thursday, November 27.

Last year, with the help of Cathy Zielske's 30 Days of Thankful templates and Artifact Uprising, I had a lovely book to recognize the season. The year before, again with the help of CZ, another book was made to celebrate the season. This year, I've gone further back into the archives as I do not want to limit my project to 30 (or 31) days as the season will, for me, contain 46 days. I have purchased Cathy's (limitless) digital kit from 2009.

I spend a lot of time firmly planted in my present and aware of all the things for which I am grateful. I enjoy this project each year as it gives me a tangible opportunity to record - in photos and words - what is the most important to me. Things have changed as my outlook and priorities have changed. These projects provide a nice reference point!

To get me started, I want to take a few moments to observe, absorb and record where I am. Now.

Surprise, a pic of me, today (well, Sunday, at Thanksgiving dinner.) Photo credit goes to my niece, Spencer:

 A few pics of my life, currently:

Lots of orange, and gourds, and cooler weather. Bliss.

Our family room - a rare photo as it is tidy! Love this space.

I take these every day - in actual fact, I take over 30 pills each day. It's exhausting, but I do feel better.

And more of what I am most thankful for, every day:

Adventures with my family! Which always provides fodder for a story or two. In this case, 10 of us headed down to see "Wicked" at the Ed Mervish Theatre. We were a bit early and lucky for us the Hard Rock Café had terrible service - we ended up not being seated - which took us to The 3 Brewers next door. It was so good - service and food A+!  My sister and I were holding our breath regarding "Wicked" as recent productions in Toronto have been less than marginal. I'm so happy that "Wicked" was wonderful! We topped off our day with most of our crew joined up with more family at Grazie for an always wonderful gastronomical experience before heading home. A very long, and very lovely, day.

hello monday | 141

life skills lesson: uncle jamie teaching caden how to carve.

hello thanksgiving. happy to celebrate on the sunday with family so we can enjoy a far more relaxed monday with take-out from red chillie, as is our tradition.

hello family. reflecting on our thanksgiving dinner with my sister and family in toronto - always lovely to spend time with them and missing those who couldn't be with us.

hello urban outfitters. especially fun when all of the girlies can head down to the urban outfitters and collect some goodies!

hello serious school planning. now that thanksgiving is over serious attention is being turned to university selection for next year. he seems to have been contemplating this particular chapter since he was about 3 years of age! though, i think he wants to be something other than a power ranger at this point.

hello desire map virtual program. i missed the call yesterday, but am all caught up now. such great insight and challenge and opportunity!

hello rabbit in shop. hopefully it's nothing serious and we can retrieve it and bring it in to andrew soon! happy claire got a last minute spot on the train.

hello choices. nice to see some really good ones being made by all of my kids.

hello hallowe'en party plans. i do hope i don't live to regret this :)

hello carrot cake. and coffee for breakfast. it's totally decadent, but the indulgence only happens once each year!

hello grateful. for my life and all who occupy a spot in it.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

PROJECT | NaNoWriMo

A couple of years ago, I faithfully participated in the NaNoWriMo which is what their website calls a "good old-fashioned kick in the pants you need to write the rough draft of your novel in November". That is to say, write 50,000 words by the end of the month, or approximately 1,667 words every day, each day of November.

That last almost-50,000 words I wrote ended up in a landfill in St. Catharine's - which is where it probably belonged! Those words were written years before the NaNoWriMo website, forums and the idea of pre-planning or peer support - 2009 to be precise. When November 1 arrived, I just started to write with no preparation and not a glimmer of an idea. At all. Granted, there is a certain beauty in that, but this year I decided to take what I've learned in the last five years, particularly the last 6-months, and put a plan together.

First step: What do I want to write?

• A short-short story, or "flash fiction" is defined as 100 to 500 words
• A short story is defined as 1,000 to 7,500 words
• A novelette is defined as 7,500 to 17,500 words
• A novella is defined as 17,500 to 60,000 words
• A novel is defined as 60,000 to 125,000 words

Within these guidelines the genre also determines length:

• Literary, Commercial and Women's fiction: 100,000 words
• Crime Fiction: 90,000 words
• Mysteries, Thrillers & Suspense: 70,000 for contemporary and 90,000 for historical
• Romance: Between 70,000 and 100,000 words
• Fantasy: Though often longer, 90,000 is a preferred number
• Paranormal: Tighter is better, 75,000 words
• Horror: To keep up the tension, not past 100,000 words
• Memoir: 80,000 words
• Historical: Up to 120,000 words but not much more
• Young Adult: Stay under 80,000 words
• Middle Grade: 35,000 and no more.

Keep in mind: a chapter can be any length, but since most people read around 2,000-2,500 words in 15 minutes, keep them a manageable size.

Picture books are generally 32 pages in length with less than 1,000 words.

Second step: What genre do I want to write?

Fiction Genre List

• General
• Action & Adventure
• Alternative History
• Anthologies (multiple authors)
• Biographical
• Christian
• Coming of Age
• Contemporary Women
• Crime
• Cultural Heritage
• Dystopian
• Erotica/Gay & Lesbian
• Fairy Tales, Folk Tales, Legends & Mythology
• Family Life
• Family Saga
• Fantasy
• Gay
• Ghost
• Gothic
• Graphic Novels & Comics
• Historical
• Holidays
• Horror
• Humorous
• Legal
• Literary
• Magical Realism
• Medical
• Metaphysical & Visionary
• Mystery & Detective
• Noir
• Occult & Supernatural
• Political
• Psychological
• Romance
• Religious & Ethnic
• Satire
• Science
• Sea Stories
• Short Stories (multiple authors)
• Short Stories (single author)
• Sports
• Superheroes
• Thrillers
• Urban
• Visionary & Metaphysical
• War & Military
• Westerns

As for non-fiction there are oodles of choices from Antiques & Collectibles to True Crime and everything in between. For my purposes I'll be focusing on fiction, or possibly memoir, or even better a fictionalized memoir!

Third step: what do I want to express, teach, convey, explain?

I've been told to write what I read.

I like many things and it would be fascinating to see a combination of it all put together! My most favourite recent fiction books was GONE GIRL: the pacing, the character development, the story, it all came together so well. That is not to be duplicated! And yes, I will go see it in the theatre.

On my current "to read" and pre-order list:

• First Frost - I love the whimsy and characters in Sarah Addison Allen's books
• Nightbird - Alice Hoffman has a talent for making the ordinary extraordinary
• Happiness for Beginners - Katherine Center is so adept at making her audience notice the small glorious details in the day-to-day

On my "to read" pile in the basket next to my chair:

• The Rosie Effect - because The Rosie Project was brilliant - so well crafted - this is sure to please, I hope!
• Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good - oh how I love visiting the people and stories of Mitford, NC wth Jan Karon.
• What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions - fun to read in small doses!
• What I Know for Sure - it's Oprah, and though it may not be a popular opinion, I adore her
• E-Cubed: Nine More Energy Experiments That Prove Manifesting Magic and Miracles Is Your Full-Time Gig - because E-Squared was fabulous it's going to be fun to see what this

In my "keep by the bedside" pile:

• The Desire Map which teaches me new things each time I read it
• The Gifts of Imperfection an integral part of my complete transformation back to myself
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - because Maya Angelou was simply brilliant
• A Pad of Paper
• A Pencil

Even with all of that, it is often tempting to back and read the wonderful books of my past. I have recently realized were almost exclusively mysteries, from my start with Nancy Drew to the works of Scott Turow, Robert Ludlum, Ken Follet, Sue Grafton, Barbara Erskine, John Grisham, Father Andrew Greeley, Lawrence Sanders and more. Oh so many characters, stories, plots and places!

At any rate, I'm well armed with a fresh pack of post-it notes, a fully charged laptop, new multicoloured highlighters and endless resources via Google! Now, to avoid distraction and settle on an idea .....

hello monday | 140

hello new schedule. chloé was taking three grade 11 courses (one year up) and had a full academic schedule with no lighter or fun breaks in intensity though the day. something had to give. german was swapped out and this week is her first week of dance - ever!

hello desire map workshop. i'm all signed up and have been waiting to participate for weeks! yesterday was the first of six virtual workshops. this is going to be great - well worth waiting for this workshop.

hello ultrasound. ugh. not my favourite.

hello good friends. so i could attend chloé's optimates dinner, friends are taking caden to the mandatory volleyball agm. funny how i need more help now that i have less kids!

hello vitamin iv drip. things must be working, i no longer have the constant taste of vitamins in my mouth!

hello psychic reading. following a hunch, i have a reading this week.

hello back to see my life coach. this sesson includes all things metaphysical and i'm enjoying learning so much wonderful stuff! pendulum. cards. crystals.

hello plans. so much is going on. workshops. photo walks. i'm focusing on getting back to my creative pursuits.

hello wicked. everyone is heading into toronto to see the show!

hello thanksgiving long weekend. claire is coming home from university. cole will be out of boarding. chloé and caden have open schedules. even with all of that free potential family time, i know they'll be very excited to simply sleep the whole time home! they'll be able to do a lot of that, but really, it'll be time spent with family -  here and in toronto.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

4 Simple Goals | 10-14

PROJECT | Me: The Abridged Version

In one week I'll be back in the classroom - a virtual one, with one of my very favourite teachers! Cathy Zielske will be guiding the course Me: The Abridged Version for Project Life™ for 4-weeks starting on October 9th. With all of the changes in my life since I last tackled this project - and, whoot, finished it! - five YEARS ago, I thought it would be a good idea to sign up and complete this version. Fortunately, having taken plenty of Cathy Zielske guided workshops before, I knew this one would not disappoint!

The only thing I am struggling to decide: digital or paper? I ordered the kit from Studio Calico AND downloaded all of the digital art files at Big Picture Classes. I keep vascilating between the two equally inspiring options. Argh! No matter, one way or the other, the album will be completed - and it'll be awesome!

In the meantime, I'm collecting words that resonate in me. Words that speak to who I am today. I have not referenced my last project as I want to start fresh with this project. I started writing out words, and more words - filling up far more than the two pages originally alloted. I think about words in the car and call to leave a voice mail with more words. Then text words to myself as I'm at the grocery store. I've become obsessed with this project and my need to do it accurately and well.

With so many words collected, I've been moving them into a document to define them by how they speak to me. Each word represents just one very small part of me; all together they will only hint at the whole me, but I'll do my best! Once I have it all written out, I'll decide which words speak loudest and they'll be the ones I choose to include in the finished album.

Between creative writing classes and workshops, blog articles, my "One Little Word" grace making way for another guiding word in 2015, defining my core desired feelings via The Desire Map, you'd think I'd be worded out, but I'm finding it actually is the other way around: I'm more inspired and fired up to write and discover and find inspiration - and maybe provide some too!

Words | The Home Key

Recently I started another creative writing course held on Tuesdays in Burlington. Last week I received a note from my instructor, Brian Henry, asking me to do a "Show and Tell" piece for the class. The parameters were broad: pick something to show and then tell about it. Simple enough. Ha! I started the process at least 20 times and finally settled on this one.

SHOW:

TELL:

The Home Key
Creative Writing Class | 500 Words | 30 September 2014

        I look at this small gold house key with cautious anticipation. It may be a small bit of metal with sharp grooves and notches, but it packs an emotional wallop! Will it be the last house key I have on my chain or is it just another one in a collection of many I’ve had over the years?

        According to Dr. Brené Brown, the single emotion people are most afraid of is joy. Seriously. We are collectively conditioned to wait for the other shoe to drop so we never fully appreciate the moments of joy when they are right in front of us. We anticipate with more surety the promise of disaster or, at the very least, failure. Joy is terrifying.

        I don’t want to be afraid of my joy and this house key represents my opportunity to overcome my history, my fear and lean into and fully embrace gratitude. Only then will I fully understand joy.

        The journey to this one key is found in all of the keys before it. The house to which I was born in Saint John, New Brunswick, where my mum was a nurse and my dad worked at the sugar refinery and I spent my days with my grandmother. The tiny two-bedroom townhouse in married student housing in Watertown, Massachusetts, where I moved with my dad, pregnant mum and little sister so my dad could attend school to earn his business degree. The split-level ranch house just outside Cleveland where I was initiated into the lifestyle of quintessential (read: tacky) 1970s suburbia with dads gone through the workweek and cheesy neighbourhood gatherings on the weekends. The house in North Toronto where my mother thought wallpapering the dining room ceiling and putting indoor-outdoor carpet in the kitchen was some kind of interior design statement - it was, and it was not good! The house in the Chicago suburbs with the pool, the ping-pong table and the basketball court in the barn. The other house in Toronto, which would become home-base until I left for boarding school six years later. Then there were no keys since in the all-girls school of 165 students the idea of privacy was absurd. My rooms at university had keys but who ever thought to use them? We never had anything of any value to steal so why bother locking up? My first job took me to Buffalo, New York and a full-on transient existence with various roommates and a boyfriend or two. There were plenty of house keys but the only keys that mattered opened office doors. A favourite key was the one I got when I bought my first house after my transfer to Calgary: a sweet bungalow where I housed my fiancé-then-husband, my first baby and a second soon after. Another transfer brought us to Ontario where I had three more keys to houses that welcomed two more children, survived one bout with cancer, endured one near-death experience, lost one business, and initiated one divorce.

        This key? This key is so much more than a small bit of metal with sharp grooves and notches. This key opens the door to a home as I no longer live in just a house. This key opens the door to my home.

* * * * *

I have always felt, to my bones, that more than anything else, I am a writer.

Growing up I was mocked, ridiculed and told regularly that my idea of being a writer was simply ridiculous. I was too sensitive, I had my head in the clouds, I had to come down to earth and make something of myself. When I was 15 my mother took it upon herself to take one of my hidden works and read it aloud at the Thanksgiving table. I was mortified and never wrote with the same freedom of expression again. It was time to stop dreaming and focus on more practical pursuits. Until now.

Lately I've found some workshops and courses that have lead me to believe that maybe, just maybe, I can tap back into the writer buried deep inside.

Reflection | September 2014

Cole was asked to step in and help out at orientation so he moved into boarding early - on September 1. Varsity camps started at school and Caden was thrilled to be back on the volleyball court, and by all accounts, the coach was happy to have him there. After much frustration I finally had my meeting with the doctor and all of the tests confirmed that my body is being eaten up by cortisol and my thyroid (with meds) cannot convert T4 to T3. I am now taking oodles of supplements and doing all I can to get healthy. I enjoyed a lovely lunch with my dad for my birthday - in a garden in the middle of the city of Toronto - it was such a wonderful setting and even better company. I was stuck in construction directly in front of one of my favourite childhood venues: the McLaughlin Planetarium which has been closed for at least 20 years, so very sad. After a bit of research, I decided to get myself a Canon 70D and hand off the 40D to Cole. My sister and kids came over to deliver a big pink package then we went to Jonathan's for a delicious lunch. The treadclimber needs assembly so has found it's new home in our front hall for the beginning of the month. Chloé and Caden are looking forward to the year ahead and enjoyed volunteering at the new student orientation as well as the welcome back barbeque at school. Knowing he couldn't be the "best boyfriend ever", Cole decided to break things off with Alex so she didn't feel like he wasn't giving her the attention she deserved. With much thanks to Warby Parker, Chloé is starting her year with a new accessory: many pairs of glasses! The insurance adjustor came to take a look at things in the new place. It's a miracle - the books came in before classes started! The great sock sort of 2014 was accomplished in record time and we have so many pairs none have to be purchased! I applied for, and was accepted (whoot!!), to be a member of The Desire Map Licensing Inner Circle and I am looking forward to where this new chapter takes me.  (What I hope is) The final piece of the puzzle was mailed off to Thunder Bay, now we wait. My friend Jill and her husband John, collected me to attend the Senior Two dinner at the school - my friends are now my "ride" to make sure I get where I'm going :) Crate & Barrel has been open for a while but I've never been to one in Canada - fear I'd like it too much - well, that was dead on! I went and bought two gorgeous couches for the family room and took full advantage of the big sale. After a long wait the tale of the travelling armoir is over and it is now in it's new home in the games room - damaged, but it's here! I'm back at coaching with Helen, and this session - from now through November - is all about the WooHoo! Caden was busy at varsity volleyball tryouts and town volleyball tryouts - he made both teams. I started my first IV treatment and it was odd and good. I missed an Angel Seminar I had really wanted to attend, but sometimes life gets in the way of our plans. More grade parties for the Upper One crowd - I didn't attend the one for Upper Two. Continuing to be helpful, Cole has really stepped up at school. I am so very proud of him - especially when he sent a quick text to assure me he was having "a blast" at Camp Pine Crest with the new international boarders. He then ended up in the infirmary at school for a 42-hour stay with bronchitis and thrush. Poor beast! Caden doesn't understand why the boys can't wear kilts to school so a note was sent asking about it - and he got a response! On the receiving end of a few phone calls from Claire which has been equally unexpected and fun. I enjoy hearing about all of the things she is learning. I continue to be surprised when a peer who trashes the reputation of a child cries victim - time to grow up! I love to sing, so I joined My Pop Choir - then decided not to join. Honouring my instincts. On that note - haha - Chloé and Cole are both signed up for vocal classes and Chloé is benefit from Cole's being so busy with his school responsibilities. I ordered my first vegan bag from Matt & Nat. Chloé is settling in and enjoying her courses, I think she's happy she's decided to stay. Caden spent his week in Temagami, and by all accounts, survived, arriving home with a need for a shower! While our kids were away, Jill and I met for dinner for a big 4-month catch up. Claire came home for Homecoming then went off to Waterloo to visit friends at Laurier then back again for dinner with Nanna & Grampy. Caden had been home only a few hours when he was off to play volleyball vs HSC - though they lost, he played well (though he would disagree). Paperwork is signed and cheque written and now Caden is playing Oakville Thunder 15U this year. Kundalini yoga is now TWICE a week and I am very happy about it. As the month ends, I'm working on a "quick" writing assignment which has turned into a bear because it was supposed to be quick and I couldn't just let it be :S

In the lives of the kids:

Claire | by all Facebook accounts it looks like she enjoyed her time as Gael (orientation leader) at school and her second year at university is off to a brilliant start. I just hope she's making it to all of her classes! I'm pleased that she seems to be making really good choices from a place of security and no longer from a place of scarcity.

Cole | is taking on quite a bit of responsibility at school this year as Health & Wellness Rep and Deck Captain and stepped in as Orientation Leader for the international students the week before school started. Now his focus is on recovering from bronchitis and catching up on all of his school work. Great lessons as he learns to adjust based on circumstance and expectation. A life skill for sure!

Chloé | helped out with new student orientation and is looking forward to the year ahead, while mindful of the social lessons learned last year. She's ROCKING her new Warby Parker glasses - and angling for more! The new haircut and the new smile are also adding to her confidence. She chose to take G11 math and so far, so good!

Caden | was also on hand for the new student orientation which gave him a chance to scope out all of the new students starting high school with him this coming year. He will have his days filled with school and volleyball as he made it onto the school jv team as well as the town team.

Life in general:

Weather | the summer that never was became the autumn that felt like summer. Unless you're in Calgary where my friends woke to a 15cm snowfall in the first week of the month! Our first week brought it the only "summer" weather of the season and by mid-month we were plummeted into a bit of a freeze. Though friends on FB were talking about fireplaces and snuggies, we're waiting until October!

News | With all of the terrible things happening overseas I wonder if Cole is reconsidering his desire to be a war correspondent! The (never ending) Toronto Mayoral race is heating up and at the start of the month I found it stunning that Rob Ford was still in the running - and then he wasn't due to health issues - and then his brother took his place. In the weird and wonderful land of Toronto politics the Fords have turned the Mayoral race into some kind of old-time Chicago political game. In South Africa, the judge ruled that Oscar Pistorius was not guilty of pre-meditated murder but he was of manslaughter. ISIS is freaking scary and someone needs to figure out that they don't play by Western rules! In fluff-land: as one website put it, "Internationally Acclaimed Barrister Amal Alamuddin Marries An Actor." - George Clooney.

Sports | Caden tried out for the school JV volleyball team and then tried out for the Oakville Thunder U15 team and made both! After some hemming and hawing, Cole was a member of the varsity cross country team but was forced to withdraw with the bronchitis preventing his participation. As for pro sports: There was so much more bad behaviour in the NFL in one week this month, it's clear there is a desperate need for leadership, I missed the Ryder Cup :( but heard about it and how well the Europeans handled themselves, the Derek Jeter retirement season is over.

Discovery | People do NOT want to share their cleaning ladies or the name of their housekeeper :( Crate & Barrel ROCKS. Celine makes nice bags.

Looking forward, goals I want to keep at the forefront include:

Create | Ever since I participated in the first Me: A to Z project a few years ago, I've wanted to re-visit the project - especially with all of the changes I've made in my life! I was happy to learn Cathy Zielske is offering a new course! Tons of new things on the go, projects abound!

Health | The bad news? I blew up my left knee and I've been advised to stop reformer Pilates for a while - at least until there is less stress (read: weight) on my knees. The good news? The tests are all back and my sugar is fine, my cholesterol is fine, my health is fine - all except the thyroid. Now I'm on a schedule for daily meds and supplements - and weekly cocktails of healthy boosts.

Home | LEAVES! They've been turning and falling for weeks. Happily I found a groundskeeper to remove them all when they fall. Still no sign of a closing date on the townhouse! I am hoping to get all of our stuff moved over to the house - in time for Thanksgiving next month, Hallowe'en at the latest.

Inspiration | I really enjoy Brian Henry's courses and his workshop this month did not disappoint.

Me | In my quest to stay out of my comfort zone and lean into fear, I applied to help beta test the Desire Map workshop and ended up simply signing up for one instead :) Timing is everything. I'm working on the behind-the-scenes of leecurrie.com and it's a ton of work! I've been upgrading my wardrobe and it's been more fun than I thought it would be :)

* * * * *

A couple of years ago I consistently wrote up posts summing up the month that had just past. Then life got both complicated and overwhelming, so much so I was just going from day-to-day in complete survival mode. With this new year I'm getting back into the practices of my past that I have missed.

hello monday | 139

hello health centre. dealing with bronchitis and thrush for one. cramps and nausea for another. and warts, possible asthma and feet issues for the last. the last month has not been kind and gentle to my children.

hello kundalini yoga. now on wednesdays, too! i am so happy i will be able to attend twice each week and not feel so guilty if i'm unable to make one - there will always be the other. this has been such a good practice for me.

hello maintenance. this week is time for another cut & colour, waxing and a pedicure. yay! 

hello sleep pod. with the weather getting cooler it's time to get back into the pod. this time 'round will be sleep, i'll hit the super-hot metabolism program when the snow flies and it's super-cold outside!

hello plumber. the replacement parts are in!

hello volleyball season. it starts this week. i know caden is almost as excited to play as I am to watch him and his school team!

hello good choices that come from a position of self-love. the people we choose to spend time with are a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. there is a lot of self-love happening around here and it is wonderful to experience!

hello mercury in retrograde. here we go again!

hello desire map virtual program. i am so very excited to get started on this workshop. the desire map is the foundation upon which i plan to build my future and it starts this week!

hello writing. lots and lots of writing!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

2014 | A Day in the Life | JUNE, JULY, AUGUST & SEPTEMBER

I am still creating memory pages (aka scrapbooking). I spent a great deal of time over the summer deciding what activities bring me joy and what I am willing to let go.  Memory keeping is something I will always do, to some degree. I took a memoir course and actually thought I'd be able to do it well because of the skills honed through album making - ha! Though, through it, I did learn something different but familliar and have plans to incorporate the two in a future project.

In the meantime, I have been celebrating one day each month in more depth than my usual Project Life though I have been inconsistent in my posting. I'd promise to change that, but hey, who are we kidding?

It was a full summer!

Wishcasting | 33, 34, 35 & 36

WISHCASTING | 33 What do you wish to feed?

I wish to feed my innate nature: I am curious. I am sensitive. I am a dreamer. I am kind. I am fiercely loyal to those loyal to me. After years of trying to keep my truth in check - I was told it was rude, emotional, distracted, needy and difficult - I am giving my innate nature free reign and I wish to make up for lost time and feed it at every opportunity.

What about you? What do you wish to feed?

WISHCASTING | 34 How do you wish to spend your day?

My day would start enjoying breakfast, well, brunch, with all of my kids around the same table. My kitchen would be miraculously spotless so I could leave to grab my camera and take a photo walk. I'd spend the afternoon with my sister - shopping, a show, a class, whatever. Then I'd join my girlfriends for a meal that would have us laughing and drinking until well past dessert. I'd get home, change into comfy pajamas, read a few pages in my latest book. I'd turn out the light and snuggle up tight with my partner who is happy I had a wonderful day and happier he now has me to himself :)

What about you? How do you wish to spend your day?

WISHCASTING | 35 To what do you wish to say "no"?

My friend Robin is fond of the old Polish proverb: Not my circus. Not my monkeys. I couldn't agree more. I am so incredibly tired of drama. And not just the teenage variety of which there is much, daily. I'm tired of adults acting like children by making more of a situation than what is there and going to such an extreme as to make it absurd. Drama is boring. Focus on other things: world peace and tollerance, bringing light into darkness, kindness to evil, patience to bigotry. Please.

What about you? To what do you wish to say "no"?

WISHCASTING | 36 What do you wish to create?

A genuine life, one full of truth, tolerance, authenticity, love and kindness.

What about you? What do you wish to create?

_______________________________________________________________________

These are responses to the prompts found in Jamie Ridler's 52-week e-course: What If You Filled Your Year With Wishes. Though I'm more goal-oriented than a dream-believer, I have a fondness for wishes. Recently, there has been much heart-work done and I can be more authentic, more gentle and more kind with myself and my wishes.

anticipation | autumn (the original post)

So, last week when I was writing my anticipation | autumn post, I had a niggling feeling that I had written one already. For the life of me I couldn't find it in my drafts folder! Until now. So here it is, part 2, which is really the original:

Daily breathing and meditation.

Daily walks and stretching.

Daily mindful eating and compassionate self talk.

Daily reading and writing.

Daily creating and imagining.

Daily practices of only those things that are good for me and therefore good for everyone around me.

* * * * *

Autumn is filled with all those things that make me feel much more alive than any other time of year. Odd given that it is the time of year when everything is harvested and dying.

• I'm enjoying the crunch of leaves beneath my Merrills on my walks through the forest at the school and through the cemetery in my back yard. I've also taken a trip or ten to walk the Labrynth in Burlington.
• Claire does not call often enough but when she does it is so wonderful to hear from her and catch up on the happenings in her life!
• University applications are on the agenda for Cole and all of the Senior Two students at school. He's pretty focused and determined to get into his top choice - Kings College in Halifax.
• Volleyball tryouts are over and the sport is keeping Caden busy. He's playing on the varsity team at school and has hopes of the U15 town team with practices and training through the week.
• Chloé is happy with her choice to stay home. I'm proud of her for deciding to stick to it. It's a brutal lesson, but she is fully acquainted with the idea that "people show you who they are, believe them the first time". It's not rude to believe them.
• Thanksgiving is coming up quickly! We're looking forward to spending time with family.
• First term is super important - it is where the kids lay down the foundation for the year. The marks can't be made up later without unnecessary hurculean effort. (I'm fond of saying that a ball team can lose the pennant in April - a student can lose their year in first term.)
• I'm sad to be missing reformer Pilates due to injury. I'll be back! Baby steps!
• I'm hoping to learn something at the Your Possible Life presentation at the Art Gallery in Burlington. I love Beth, Lisa and Shelley!
• I'm looking forward to the Ryder Cup - in Scotland this year!
• Writing workshops and classes are keeping me on track. That elusive book of my imagination is now becoming more real.
• Sunday morning yoga is lovely. Any morning yoga is lovely!
• We're looking forward to watching Scandal, Elementary, The Blacklist, The Good Wife and Once Upon A Time this season. I wonder what other new shows will be put on our "must watch" list?
• Mercury will enter it's final retrograde of the year in early October. Good! I need to re-visit some things - and this will be a perfect time to edit, too!
• Cole is enjoying his time in boarding. We're happy to see him and I encourage more spontaneous drop-ins. (He is not enjoying the cold he caught! Boarding = Germ Soup)
• We're off to see Wicked! I can't wait. I love the music and the story but have never seen it on stage.
• My annual Ali Edwards-inspired Week in the Life project is expected to start on October 27th. I am very fond of this project and can't wait to see what memorable treasures are discovered through the week.
• Speaking of Ali Edwards, there's a rumour she is coming to Crop & Create and I'm hoping to get a spot!
• Chloé loves percussion and is spending plenty of time practicing and participating with the concert band at school.
• Hallowe'en promises to be different this year. We are in a real neighbourhood loaded with little kids. We had no door bell rings last year or the one before, I'm sure we'll have more than a few this year! Hmm. I might even dress up! I wonder where I put that broom and caudron?
• Should Caden make the team, there is lots of local-ish travel from volleyball venue to volleyball venue. I'm hoping to get some really good photos this season. I'll have the time as I'm not the manager this year!
• After a brutally cold winter, then a cool wet spring and summer, we're hoping for some cool but sunny days. At least a few!
• Our home, our routines, our fridge, our life is all geared toward study and preparing for success.
• Exams will be here before we know it - early December!
• Just as fall turns to winter, on that last day, Claire turns 19. I wonder if I should send out warnings to the all the bars in downtown Toronto!

I'm looking forward to getting in to the cool swing of autumn. Fireplaces on. Chunky sweaters. Lazy afternoons on the couch reading stories. Bright blue skies. Perfect!

the current | forty-two

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 9:17pm on 22 september 2014
weather outside: a cool 12C - feeling crisp
mood inside: quiet with just me and chloé at home

drinking a glass of perrier, no ice

eating a bowl of berries: black and blue

embracing the feeling that this house is starting to feel like home

enjoying the delivery of new couches from crate & barrel, delivered this morning

cooking minimally. with just two of us at home there is a lot of winging it!

trying to keep up with my supplement and medication schedule. an overhelming 37 pills a day!

missing claire at university, cole in boarding and caden in temagami.

feeling like i'm on the edge of something new and exciting.

listening to my intuition, and finally giving myself permission to pay attention and act on what it is telling me.

watching "the voice" is on in the background. i love this time of year, the start of the new tv season. i wonder which will survive? almost a guarantee it is not the one i fall in love with watching!

reading jan karon's new book "somewhere safe with somebody good" - it is so nice to be back in mitford, north carolina again!

wearing my new oversized olive-drab sweater. my sister will be horrified! :D

packing a box of school books for consignment. the forms have been filled. i just have to put it in the truck and head off to the store.

planning to sell the suburban. i think. i'm vascilating. not good. just one more project.

stopping all of the second guessing and negative self talk. it's time to leave all the f***ing drama to those creating it and not engage.

wanting a massage. oh, and a foot rub!

needing to find a way to make the "foundation formula" - am and pm versions and customized "amino acid" powder taste better. seriously. in their current state they are completely unpalatable! if i won't take it because it tastes like caca then it does no good for me, right?

wishing for my kids to make good choices.

waiting for the townhouse to sell so i can finally move all of our belongings into the new house and settle in completely. tired of having moved all of the contents and not the containers. living in clutter city!

thinking how incredibly fortunate to live the life i have.

enjoying always having something to do.

paying attention to all of the crazy wildlife around here. huge black squirrels hoarding small acorns and tiny red squirrels hoarding huge nuts of some kind. and the raccoons - very busy beasts.

encouraging all of my kids to make authentic choices - courses, friends, parties, activities and so many more challenges. choose what resonates with them and do it.

celebrating the change of season. i know most people think summer was just cold and wet and autumn is simply an extension of the same, but this season makes me joyful. time to use the new camera!

cultivating a new start, a foundation on which i plan to build my future.

marveling at match.com and the cesspool of crazy it contains. though, on a different level, it is great fodder for story characters!

anticipating more change, more kindness, more challenge, more frustration, more embracing, more learning, more love. yeah, that. more love.

and tada, a photo from my week:

One little WORD | 100 Days to Find GRACE

Today is September 22nd and that means there are 100 days left in 2014.

Blink.

Enough time to focus on a project I've had in mind. I enjoyed participating in #100happydays earlier this summer and it did provide a focus, an ability to be mindful of the events in my days. I'd like to use the next 100 days to perhaps focus a little more on my One Little Word: GRACE.

At this point of the year I am often weary of my one little word.

This year I want to focus and finish leaving 2014 in a state of grace.

A couple of weeks ago, I was wandering through the internet - you know the drill, click here, click there - and found a notebook, an art print and a day timer.

Finally, I found the proper words to express my definition of grace. There is no whisper of religion or dogma, it is about a state of being. This art print is now framed and put in a prominent place in my office so I can be reminded through my days to lean into GRACE.

For the next #100daysofgrace - in my new robins egg blue journal with the same quote on the cover - I plan to write a daily entry, stick in a daily photo, find a quote, make a doodle, copy an article, find some lyrics and whatever else suits my search. I do many, very many, photo + word based projects. This is going to be something different. The only real photos will be taken at the end of the year, when the project is complete and I can let go of grace to find another word for 2015 - but still have grace live within me knowing I did all I could to keep it around and make it present within me, to my core.

What about you? Do you have a guiding word for the year?

hello monday | 138

dropping off one child at school in the morning is just weird!

hello recipe book. i have kept putting off plans to make a recipe book. you know. waiting for perfect: the perfect template, the perfect amount of time, the perfect selection of perfect recipes. well, claire has called from school and has asked for a selection of foods that i make. so i guess i've started!

hello temagami. i am sitting nervously awaiting his return.

hello patience. as far as labels go, i would call myself impatient. until i realized that is no longer true. i have managed to overcome my biggest personal flaw. (oh, don't worry, there are plenty more!) i realized it and then this article arrived in my feed to confirm it.

hello sick child. i wish i didn't have to send him back into boarding. not one to overreact, i really think we should make sure it's not pneumonia!

hello new couches. i am beyond happy that they are to arrive on monday between 10:15am and 1:15pm. really. that's the time frame they gave me.

hello email. it is possible, using that aforementioned patience, to figure out what is wrong with multiple gmail accounts in your apple mail going out on one account and not the multiple accounts set up for different purposes. months of frustration eliminated with 7+ hours of stop. start. shut down. log in. log out. fingers crossed.

hello wordpress. if i can figure out email, i can figure out wordpress.

hello show premieres. this is going to be a fun week!

hello homecoming. one of my favourite events at the school. and bonus? claire will be home - for a few hours - but home nonetheless.

hello bombshells. doing my best to be casual when my kids ask very specific questions about sex, drugs, bullying, inappropriate party attire and a whole bunch of other questionable behaviour. i don't want to scare them but i don't want them to participate. i'm taking deep breaths. i'm walking on eggshells. doing the best i can to answer and engage in the most honest way possible!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

anticipation | autumn

We are just rolling into autumn like summer never happened. The leaves started to change before the kids headed back to school, so I anticipate things will be pretty cold pretty quickly around here. They've already had measurable snow out west. At my age and stage, I'm happy for the cooler weather no matter the season!

We are adjusting to some big changes around here: Claire is back in Kingston, Cole is in his boarding year, Chloé elected to stay and is finding her footing and Caden has started high school! We almost totally settled in a new house, with new spaces, new chores, new routines. Lots of lessons being learned.

With the arrival of autumn we are looking forward to:

• Volleyball training for Caden. He's made it onto the school team and hopefully he will make it onto a town team, but he's all signed up for training through the year.
• Cole and Chloé are back at vocal lessons with Greg. They are not going to perform in the festivals this year, but they do plan on attending the Conservatory Exams.
• Even I got in on things and am all signed up for My Pop Choir. Our first song is Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
• Caden is leaving for the Upper One trip to Temagami - it still fills me with dread. I will hold my breath the whole time he is away.
• Homecoming is coming up and I'm looking forward to it, especially since Claire is expected to come home for it! It'll be nice to have all four in the house even if it is for just one day.
• I've put together a meal plan and look forward to more stews and hearty fare in keeping with the season.
• I've even put together a whole "let's create" plan and look forward to new projects to complete.
• The new television season: The Good Wife, Elementary, The Blacklist, Scandal and Once Upon A Time will watched for sure, as well as the new Tea Leone show, Madame Secretary and Viola Davis in How to Get Away with Murder.
• Derek Jeter retires from baseball on September 28th in Boston for his last game in a Yankees uniform. We'll all be watching.
• Fingers crossed the townhouse is sold and we can finally move all of the furniture and be completely settled in our new space.
• Cole will be sending out his University applications! Blink. It all goes by so fast.
• The Ryder Cup is much anticipated - by me, anyway!
• More plumbers, electricians, heat & air, landscapers and now to find a carpenter.
• I'm taking a virtual Desire Map Workshop and am greatly looking forward to it.
• Thanksgiving should be lovely. Not sure what the plans are, but I know it will include good food, good wine and lots of family.
• Thunderstorms, a roaring fireplace, a cup of tea, a good book and a big blanket set the stage for me to get comfortable atop the new Crate & Barrel couch. I hope to have a chance to do this - a lot!
• Kundalini yoga continues on Friday mornings.
• I'm changing up my coaching to include some more energy and metaphysical aspects. I anticipate it will be fascinating.
• The Worldwide Photo Walk is being held on October 11. I'll probably make a trek somewhere, just not sure where, yet.
• We're looking forward to going into Toronto for a matinée of Wicked. I've read the book, know the soundtrack, but have never seen the musical. I can't wait!
• Writing classes start again in Burlington. Lots of my life happens in Burlington.
• Hallowe'en will be much different in this neighbourhood as it is LOADED with kids. I may just have to carve some pumpkins and put out some decorations. It'll be a nice change after enjoying a couple of years hiatus.
• Mercury will be in retrograde again. Time for me to get lots done!
• Judging from the multitude of signs around town, it looks like we have an election coming up. Since I recognize almost all of the names and most of the signs say "re-elect" I suppose it's just more of the same-old-same-old.
• I'm heading out to The Possible Life event in Burlington which is being headed by a couple of friends of mine. I'm looking forward to it!
• Late in October is Week In The Life time again. I looked at my calendar and put it in. I realized how much of my memory keeping projects revolve around autumn. I think I'm going to have to shuffle a few things in the future!
• Daylight savings - how depressing.
• The TreadClimber will be getting a workout - and so will the new studio!
• In a couple of short months the kids will be writing exams! (Shh. I won't tell them. There's enough pressure!)
• I will continue with my crazy meds and supplement schedule - and IV treatments every Wednesday until they tell me I'm healthy again. Gotta tell you, it better be before Christmas :)

The kids are in key years at school so around here it's all about focus-focus-focus, with a bit of fun and distraction thrown in to help maintain their sense of humour! I realized there is no travel in our plans for the next few months. I must remedy that. Maybe a quick day trip somewhere?

Happy autumn :)

real right now | many moving parts

Just in case you feel this has turned into a "hello monday" blog, I can promise it has not! In fact, I've been working on it, in draft form, a lot. Other creative endeavours are keeping me away, too. All will be shared, at some point!

In the meantime, I have:

A house to sell.
Plumbers to employ.
Yardwork guy to find.
Workshops to attend.
A crazy supplement/med schedule to follow
.Kids activities to manage.
To shedule appointments with the doctor, dentist and orthodontist.
To put a price on my Suburban. Anyone looking for a 2011 LTZ?
Meals to make. Laundry to wash. Toilets to scrub.
And more.

I'm excited about all that is going on, it's just keeping me away.

What have you been up to?

hello monday | 137

hello desire map workshop. throughout the book club gatherings we had a book, a workbook and a brilliant idea. that idea is now broken down into still brilliant bite-sized pieces and i am so excited to get started. in my minds eye, this is the foundation upon which i plan to build my future.

hello volleyball tryouts. the town tryouts continue this week - in the meantime caden has made it onto the school jv team! i can only hope the town coach is more interesting in winning than whining.

hello cough. it really is past time to say goodbye!

hello my pop choir. i'm looking forward to this experience! now if only the cough and hoarse would go away so i can enjoy the process and get back to what i love to do. sing.

hello intuition. i have to trust it. pigs & grunts. seriously. i really have to trust that people do show you who they are and i need to believe them the first time. and, to top it off, remember that the universe always sends a test. this is a test. got it.

hello iv treatment. other than tasting weird sweet-ish breath, the vitamin treatments have been going well. though, i have to admit, i'm a bit exhausted with these regulated supplements and meds. i'm keeping my eye on the prize!

hello pendulum. i've just taken the first steps in a long metaphysical learning process. fascinating!

hello temagami. beyond the mean of it all, this camping trip is the scariest experience of the upper one year. hell, of the whole high school experience! well, maybe the middle-of-freaking-winter-with-ice-and-snow camping trip is worse. oh hell, it all makes me jittery!

hello party. this week brings the first big party of the year. holding on tight!

hello upcoming projects. this one. this one. and this one.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

hello (back to school) monday | 136

hello new school year ahead. holy crap on a cracker the year has begun! my "baby" has entered high school. his sister is leading the way in grade 10. cole is embracing his final year - and in boarding. claire is in her second year of university. wow. quadruple wow!!

hello only two in the annual photo. have i mentioned the days are long but the years are short? i am so very happy and proud and so very surprised and off balance with it all.

hello university sophmore. claire has been in kingston for a while organizing the freshman experience :) orientation is over and today is her first day of classes. i haven't heard a word so i'm defaulting to the belief that no news is good news :S

hello varsity volleyball tryouts. both caden and cole are in contention for the varsity team. neither expect to make it but i love their enthusiasm and how they compete, with good nature, with each other.

hello found items. it's a miracle, but over the months of summer which included a big move, my less-than-organized kids have been able to find their locks, their gym uniforms, their ties, kilts, dress shirts and pants. thank goodness!

hello uniform. cole? check! chloé? check! caden? omg. he's outgrown everything.

hello new books. just under the wire we got all of the books we need for the year. most are passed down, but often the texts change and new have to be purchased. we're all set, all books are in the house!

hello faculty advisors. there is the veteran, the switched and the new.

hello grade parties. each evening for the next few, the parents are invited to the school to meet-and-greet other parents and the faculty. the first one happens for cole's class tonight! wish me luck. i've known everyone for years but always feel awkward at these events.

hello smoothies. much to caden's surprise, i made breakfast. truth be told, it's the only breakfast i make for my kids through the year. not pancakes, oatmeal, eggs or waffles. they hate breakfast and i gave up attempting it ages ago. this time i'm trying smoothies. who knows? maybe it won't be the last time this year!

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

4 Simple Goals | 09-14 (a day late ...)

My Truth About Getting Older

I turn 50 today.

If I could have predicted what life would be like at 50 when I was 25, 35 or even 45, my current experience is not what I would have imagined, not in my wildest dreams. It is so much better than anything I could have ever considered.

Truth. You don't know what you don't know.

50 may seem like a big number and I suppose it is. Most days I don't really feel much older than I did when I was 20! Then again there are those other days I feel much older.

When I was younger I spent a lot of time and effort running toward growing up, proceeded to grow up way too fast and then desperately looked back at what I'd missed and tried to fix what was broken while trying to hold onto the good bits. It was exhausting - physically and emotionally.

I can do difficult things. My divorce, final for almost a year, was a needlessly long and expensive process. It turned out to be simply one event in a long list of hard lessons I've learned along my way to 50. What my divorce did was remind me of who I once was - 20 years ago. Today, I am able to move forward holding onto the many good bits - named Claire, Cole, Chloé and Caden - and leave behind the limiting beliefs and lazy habits that don't serve me.

Every day I learn something new. What a relief it was for me to learn that I could not possibly have all of the answersl - and that was okay - I no longer needed to! I was practically giddy when I realized there is always something new to learn. I am insatiably curious and once I think I've learned enough I realize there is still more. I love this feeling of openness and acceptance. My latest discovery: the continual learning held within the daily practice of practice. If something I learn resonates, I incorporate it into my daily practice which includes meditation, gratitude, writing, cooking and creating; all of which provide for many opportunities to discover new things.

I say yes. After years of overwhelm and emotional stress, I am now open enough and strong enough to say yes to every opportunity that resonates positively within me. Lunch with someone new? Yes. Meditation? Yes. Manage a volleyball team? Yes. Reformer Pilates class? Yes. A trip? Yes, well, yes with limits. Rarely do I say no, but when I do it is a well considered reply and no longer an automatic response.

The opposite of love is indifference. Really. If you still feel a pang, an inkling of guilt, a need to have the last word, an ounce of fight left, a molecule of longing, then you are not done - that chapter is not closed and you cannot move on. Done is when you can let a person leave your life with the knowledge you gave all you had to give and send them away with a simple wish that they make the best of their life without you in it.

I live with the courage of my convictions. When challenged, I no longer feel the need to justify why I feel the way I feel or how I learned what I know to be true. It took years to figure out what works for me and I no longer feel the defensive need to explain myself. As others are entitled to their beliefs, so am I.

I am more accepting. Of my flaws and the flaws of others; well considered opinions of others. I find the truth in the cracks, the light in the journey, the lessons in the differences. I am so relieved to be in a space where I can be simply happy for other people instead of feeling threatened or jealous or judgmental. I am no longer resistant to change. In fact, I am resistant to stagnation and stubborn beliefs borne of habit and laziness.

This too shall pass has become my mantra. Good times don't stay forever, neither do bad times. A full life has within it many changes. I've learned to roll with it - all of it. Bad times hold within them good lessons; good times hold the rewards for all the hard work. Cliché but true, without the bad times we'd never appreciate and value the good. I have learned that neither stays around for long. I am hopeful that at the end of my days there were a few more good than bad times and any catastrophe is balanced with glorious windfalls.

I worry less and expect little. You'd think the opposite would be true, but once I relinquished the laughable idea that I had any control, real control, over anything, my life became far more calm and manageable. I easily avoid drama and have completely disengaged from blame, shoulds, shame and as many negative influences and emotions as possible. Expectations can be the root of much sadness, disappointment and confusion. I no longer expect but I do have standards and boundaries - high for some, reasonable for me. I can only control what I can control - me - and my reactions and interactions in any given situation.

I lean in. I lean into resistance, into my fear. I've learned that on the other side of fear is usually exactly what I need, that for which has been elusive is found when I suck it up and face my fear head-on. Resistance indicates that I'm ohsoclose to what I want whether it be at reformer Pilates class and I don't think I can take more pain, at Kundalini meditation when I don't think I can take more enlightenment, a writing assignment I'm afraid to hand in for critique, a limiting belief that has a big "stop" sign (virtual, of course) making me doubt myself and my capability. I take the time to question and explore anything that strikes me with an immediate "no, I can't/won't do that" and have discovered so much about myself, the people and world around me.

I just can't fix some things. I can't fix mean. I can't fix neglect. I can't fix stupid. I can't fix selfish. I can't fix hypocrisy. I can't fix unaccountable. I can acknowledge, avoid and ignore, but I can't fix. My new response? I do not engage. I do not attend every fight I'm invited to and often turn and walk away after any failed attempt at giving voice to my view. I live a life of kindness and truth engaged fully in my own authenticity.

I show up. Every day. For my life. For my kids' lives. For anything that makes me a better person, regardless of the level of challenge. For my kids, I always advocate for them, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I always show up for them.

I am a work in progress. After stagnating for a long time, I am now hopeful, optimistic and looking forward to what life has to offer. Not only that, but I've come to know for sure that I have plenty to offer and am planning to do more of that in the near future.

Do I have regrets? Not many. Though, every single regret has propelled me to use the experience to make better decisions going forward. The only rule in our house (besides the much maligned 24-hour notice to mama before kids go out rule) is a simple one: treat people the way you want to be treated. Nothing defuses a mean person faster than kindness - especially if you are kinder than necessary.

I've had a full summer and I'm taking this, our last week of holiday for the two kids still living at home, to construct a plan for the year ahead. I'm going to revisit the Desire Map and determine my Core Desired Feelings for 50 and beyond. From there I'll be able to chart a course for my future that will be fulfilling and heart-centred.

I am well on my way!

read | books for autumn

I am a collector of books - many books! I put so many books on shelves in our new house - and we had to purchase even more bookshelves for the overflow. I have read most of them, but in some cases I can't tell you any of the specifics found in them, except for a few absolute favourites. Most often I choose books to read by author, there are some authors who are, to me, "must read" and happily some of them have books being released in the next few months!

I am hoping to put the magazines away and pick up my Kindle. When the kids get back to school and I spend more time in parking lots waiting for them finish up with their day, with their lessons, with their practices, it will be nice to have company in the truck. Kindle? I am starting to read more and more on my e-reader as it is so much more portable and it collects far less dust than those on the shelves. All of the books contained within are works of fiction. If it's a book I don't expect to have to make notes, it's on the Kindle.

Jan Karon: Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good. Even if I weren't a huge fan of Jan Karon's Mitford Years series, doesn't that title just sound wonderful? I so enjoy the setting and characters of her books. I cannot wait to return to Mitford, I've been too long away!

Randall Munroe: What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions. So this got my attention - who can pass by "serious" and "absurd" in the same title?

Anna Quindlen: Still Life with Bread Crumbs. With many of the reviews comparing this novel with "comfort food." I felt it was perfect to add to my collection of sweater weather reads.

Oprah Winfrey: What I Know For Sure. I know Oprah has her detractors - loud ones, but I'm not one of them. She has exposed me to more concepts and ideas than any other person I know. You go girl!

Anne Lamott: Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments Of Grace. I need a bit of wise mixed with irreverant right now. This should do the trick - but I have to wait until mid-November!

Graeme Simsion: The Rosie Effect. Oh how I loved reading The Rosie Project - and gave it to my sisters for Christmas last year. I am thrilled to see this follow-up to the first book. It comes out in late-September.

Reza Aslan: Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth. I've read the reviews and the idea of reading more than just the parables and stories learned by rote as a child is appealing.

Editors of Martha Stewart Living: One Pot. I enjoy flavourful recipes that make both prep and clean-up easy. I've set up "experiment night" for Saturdays!

Pam Grout: E-Cubed: Nine More Energy Experiments. The experiments in E-Squared worked last summer and I've gotten away from my habit of being midfully observant. Time to do this again :)

Barbara Erskine: The Darkest Hour. I have been a fan of Barbara Erskine since I read Lady of Hay years ago while living and working in Buffalo, NY - it was a nice escape! I have read all of her books and am looking forward to this new page-turner.

Deborah Harkness: A Discovery of Witches: A Novel. Recommended when I was ordering, I read the reviews and figured it was worth the read. We'll see :)

I know that in order to write what I like to read, I have to read more of what I like. Over the course of autumn, I'm deliberately setting aside time to focus on guilt-free reading. Right now I'm a super slow reader (and always have been) but maybe with more pages turned I'll get quicker and this daunting collection of 10 books won't look so intimidating!

What are you reading?

hello monday | 135

 

hello tiff. i may not actually go sit in a theatre, but i enjoy movies and thoroughly enjoy the early reviews that come from tiff! i think we'll pop some corn and spend tiff (september 4 - 14) watching the people's choice winning films from the past. 

hello traffic. i know if i need to head to toronto for anything in the next couple of weeks i'll be taking public transit.

hello birthday lunch. i'm looking forward to lunch with my dad.

hello treadclimber. i've been thinking of buying this for a couple of years and had no space. now i have space. if this winter is like last winter (all ice, all the time) i will have no excuses!

hello knee. after a summer of no pain (er, minimal activity) my knee is reminding me of its now-swollen presence. i'm going to grind through the pain and just keep working on getting strong and fit.

hello routine. it's almost all mapped out from now through december. the only question is caden's volleyball. where and when will he play and practice?

hello baseball championships. this should be fun!

hello last week of holiday. claire and cole are already back at their schools. chloé and caden have another week home with me. i'm torn! i love them home, but i love more when they have something consistent to do every day.

hello smile. i have been a fan of sandra boynton for a very long time and my children were raised on her books. every day i get a happy glimpse back to those happy times by following her facebook feed.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

Reflection | August 2014

Indicative of my summer: on the road. From this point on the 400, I know it's about 35 minutes to home!

Lots of movies were watched while we enjoyed a wet start to the month in Cape Cod: The Great Gatsby (1974), Mean Girls and The Help were all fabulous. (I am not a movie theatre person so often I wait forever to see a movie - I'm thinking I should change that.) I don't know if I can wait another year for Captain Parker's clam chowder! The drive from Cape Cod was uneventful and we got over the border quickly - the opposite experience from our departure. Upon our return home all of the rooms in the new house were painted and the kids felt way more comfortable with each mentioning that the new house now "feels like home". I managed to make it to watch a baseball game for Claire this season - and then later in the month made it to another, and the championship (loss)! Caden got his faculty advisor assignment and the trip and packing list came out for Temagami. The boys brought the pew (from my old boarding school chapel) and kitchen table from the storage locker and it really added a lot to the house. I wonder if I can convince Caden to ride his bike the 15km to his buddy's house in Milton? Claire's baseball team won a tournament in London! I think I've hit on a story idea that I really like - I really have to focus on carving out some dedicated writing time. Driving daily to-and-from Canlan Sportsplex in Mississauga is really not as bad as I had expected - and for one of the weeks I had three boys in the truck with me, fun! Cole was my date at a birthday party for friends. Chloé wrote honest-to-goodness-hand-written thank you notes to everyone who helped her get into NMH and told them she is staying put! I enjoyed participating in #augustbreak2014 because it got me using my camera (and photographic eye) again. Guardians of the Galaxy is the must-see movie for all of my kids - most seeing it multiple times (I am thankful for my Scene card!). Chloé had molds made and then the braces came off - the retainer does make her sound funny! My truck is in the shop for cosmetic repairs - again. Oh, and brakes are being replaced, too. Cole is very busy putting together much IKEA furniture - desks and bookshelves and dressers and tables. I'm enjoying "Boys in the Boat" which I received back in May. When Caden asked to buy a $10 download on iTunes I was hesitant until he said "yeah, I want to download Shane Koyczan onto my phone" to take to camp. Proud mama moment! Man alive are there A LOT of acorns landing on the back deck! I'm enjoying the COZI app and inputting everything for all four school schedules, we're all set and ready to go. Whoot! I finally got a monthly menu plan put together - plenty of computer-work was done as I caught a nasty bug mid month - totally landed me on my ass. Claire ran into a friend at the SOBA provincials - she knows everyone - everywhere! Even sick I marvel that I'm going to bed at the same time she's going out to a party with friends. My new FitBit Flex arrived in the mail and I'm looking forward to the accountability that comes with it. With our usual big-deal-meal - Chinese Take-Out from Red Chillie - we celebrated our last evening home as a family before Caden left for volleyball camp. I can't believe we won't be together again until Thanksgiving!  I drove to Barrie to deliver Caden and Braeden to the Volleyball Camp bus. I returned home to visit with Auntie Beth and family then off to Paradiso for dinner. Cole drove out to Kingston with Claire to bring out furniture and help her paint her room. We had one day (the 26th) over 30C and the humidity was off the chart which made me appreciate our cooler summer. We discovered some amazing crispy chocolate cookies at Whole Foods - knowledge I wish to forget! With just moments to spare, Cole got his new computer for school. We all settled around the television to watch the return of The Doctor it was all very retro and fun. Back up to Barrie to collect the boy. Enjoyed some Reiki with Helen, trying to clear this congestion any way I can - run armadillo's, run! We also set up sessions that will take us through December - I am looking forward to a re-start. Cole was asked to move into boarding 4 days early so he's been busy packing up and getting ready. My kids have decided my ribs are better than those at RibFest so to celebrate Cole's last day home, we're having BBQ ribs (with or without the actual BBQ :)

In the lives of the kids:

They were all nominated for, and participated in, the #ALSIceBucketChallenge: Claire (I can't seem to locate, but will add link when found!), Cole, Chloé and Caden.

Claire | enjoyed her all-too-brief visit to Cape Cod. Her Grampy secured tickets to a Red Sox game so she (and he and sibs) could see her favourite, Derek Jeter, play in his last season. Our wires got crossed and we left the Cape early so that she could be at work on time. With much upset, Claire and Myles have gone their separate ways with promises to remain friends. Baseball took her to tournaments in London and Etobicoke. Being primary caretaker of the house in the "student ghetto" in Kingston is really teaching her some valuable lessons. She is now in Kingston with no wireless, but unpacked and ready for her Gael orientation leader experience for the freshman class.

Cole | benefitted from our early return from Cape Cod. We were unable to visit Salem as was his hope, but by getting home early he was able to spend a few hours with girlfriend Alex before she left for cottage country. Cole has been a tremendous help moving and organizing and mowing and building. I suppose he's trying to make an indellible impression before he moves off to boarding in September. He is for sure! Cole is our country music fan and enjoyed going to the Florida Georgia Line concert with his girlfriend, Alex.

Chloé | sat me down upon her return from holidays and told me that she doesn't want to miss out on her/our life here at home. She outlined the lessons she's learned through the prep school application process and decided, bottom line, she can't run away from her problems, it's time to face the "mean girls" head-on. Heaven help us! I'm very proud of her :) A big month for Chloé in the accessory department, too - the braces are gone, a cute haircut and the funky Warby Parker specs are in! She's all set for the school year ahead.

Caden | is determined to be the best volleyball player - ever. He practices non-stop! His drive and determination is a delightful shock to his mama :) He went to-and-from Canlan Sportsplex with and without friends for a couple of weeks and then off to Madawaska with a buddy. I love his passion! I especially love his lack of complaining over bloody feet and pain in his legs. He mentions them, with a laugh, and then heads back to camp in the morning without complaint. This is very new and different - a very mature shift in behaviour.

Life in general:

Weather |it has been such a changeable summer. Hot and humid then dry then humid then torrential rains then cool and dry and it cycles through again. Mostly not humid and for that I am immensely grateful though today is a bit much for my liking.

News | While in Cape Cod, I was reminded that American news is awful: exaggerated tragedy or treacle. I'm happy to be home. Ours may still be very liberal and finger-pointy, but at least it is not screachy. The suicide of Robin Williams was very sad, as time went on, I was surprised at how often I cried over it. So, so tragic. Race relations in the United States have always been strained and getting worse all the time. The terrible events in Ferguson are a violent reminder that the racial divide is still alive and well south of the border.  The "Ice Bucket Challenge" to raise money for ALS (Lou Gherig's Disease) has been a bright spot - even as distorted as it has become. Even my kids participated - fun to watch their excitement over it all. With great relief our news chose not to show the beheading of American journalist, James Foley. Tragic. Maybe the Americans are going to figure out that the world does not play by their rules?

Sports | An all-Canadian final in a tennis tournament? Amazing! Rory McIlroy is on a tear - I do enjoy watching him. Incredible. The Jays had a 19-Inning (6.5 hour!) win vs. the Detroit Tigers - which was insane, and the only highlight for August. The Canadian Open tennis tournament had two upsets - Venus Williams and Roger Federer both LOST to unseeded competitors! The US Open (tennis) is underway and we're hoping Eugenie and Milos do well! Huh? Our amateur attention is turning from baseball to volleyball with lots of pre-season camps! Caden tells me he completed 78 hours of beach training in his week away.

Discovery | Nectarines are wonderful, unless you have braces. Zappos is brilliant and I wish they shipped to Canada. Bachelor in Paradise is our new guilty pleasure - it has plentiful teaching moments. I have a book or two or more in me - through the intensive creative writing course, I've learned this to be true.

Looking forward, goals I want to keep at the forefront include:

Create | I managed to write a 1,700 word piece just in time for my creative writing deadline. I really like this one, more in keeping with my style and interest - even a bit romantic. Hmm. It's time to put an editorial plan together for the projects that matter to me. Maybe I'd best start with figuring out what those projects might be and go from there. I participated in Susannah Conway's #augustbreak2014 and managed to catch up on my Wishcasting, too.

Health | While away I got a pair of Asics walking shoes - and I've been using them. Daily. Along with it is my new FitBit Flex which is making me walk and keeping me accountable. Well, except for a brutal summer cold. I'm constantly coughing. I cannot wait to get some sleep! In spite of it all, I started back at reformer Pilates and it feels good to move and stretch again.

Home | The house is painted and artwork is being hung. As each day passes it feels more like home. I just have to get used to all of the space! Now to get the John Street house sold so I can get my bed and finish off the transition! I'm on the hunt for matching sofas for the family room. As for outside, I'm starting to wonder what we're going to do when the many full-grown trees start shedding their leaves - this is going to be a big project.

Inspiration | Both Cathy Zielske and Ali Edwards have revamped and introduced new websites to focus on memory keeping and personal story telling. Their timing is (as always) perfect!

Me | Completely out of my comfort zone, I went to a 40th birthday party for friends. I had a blast watching them have a blast! I'm pushing my limits - going to parties, getting in front of the lens - showing up for my life. It's about time.

* * * * *

A couple of years ago I consistently wrote up posts summing up the month that had just past. Then life got both complicated and overwhelming, so much so I was just going from day-to-day in complete survival mode. With this new year I'm getting back into the practices of my past that I have missed.

#augustbreak2014 | 31 love

So many choices for this prompt! I wanted something to represent fullness, my wholeheartedness of this moment and of many moments. What do I love right now? My PRACTICE. I love my newfound daily life where I eat well, love well, write well, create well and practice meditation, Pilates, walking and conscious self-care. In essence, my life. I love my life and all that I've carefully curated to contain within.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

#augustbreak2014 | 30 soft

A basket full of socks is about as soft as it gets around here right now. Lots of prepare-for-school laundry being done: washed, dried, folded and put away. At least socks, though tedious, can be fun. Especially when you shout "TWO POINTS" for every pair that makes it into the basket!

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

#augustbreak2014 | 29 nature

I do so enjoy my not-often-enough walks through the chip trail at the kids' school. Up until my recent move, it was my only opportunity to commune with nature. Now that I can any time I want, I am still looking forward to putting on my hiking boots and heavy sweater in the weeks ahead!

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

#augustbreak2014 | 28 something new

When I was in Tucson at Canyon Ranch last April, I attended a workshop on Carl Jung and his brilliance. Part of the teaching included the most gorgeous set of Archetype cards. I've been looking for a set of my own ever since and I finally received them!

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

the current | forty-one

the - school is about to begin - edition

dateline: oakville, ontario, canada @ 10:18pm on 27 august 2014
weather outside: a still 27C - feeling muggy and damp
mood inside: quiet, everyone is settling in for the night

drinking a mug of green tea - trying to soothe my throat

eating the last of the delicious super-crispy chocolate chip cookies

embracing with much reluctance, the reality that while the other house is beautiful and staged for sale, this new home has all of the clutter with no place to put it!

enjoying that my kids are so enthusiastic about everything.

cooking apparently very well. though i continue to be less than enthusiastic, i am proficient. my kids are loving everything i make and i am appreciating that their pallets have matured - finally!

trying to come up with a plan for autumn. there are a lot of moving parts and i want to do so many things!

missing the routine of the school year, but relieved to know it is only a few weeks away.

feeling under the weather. i've been tired as a result of a brutal summer cold that has kept me up all night, every night, coughing non-stop for over a week.

listening the whir of the overhead fan and hum of the washer and dryer.

watching "who do you think you are" with rita wilson finding her roots.

reading the "boys in the boat" in my e-reader. it is so good - but long. when i write my book, this is the way i want to write.

wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants. oh so sexy!

packing cole for school. he's been asked to arrive a bit earlier than planned so we're in full move mode!

planning for the fall term ahead. claire is off to university for her second year, cole for his final year in boarding, chloé is heading back for grade 10 and caden is starting high school. planning for school, voice lessons, volleyball, writing courses and all of it!

stopping to appreciate all that is wonderful in my life and revel in my gratitude for all of the "busy" and full and frantic and fun!

wanting to magically have everything moved and put away and settled.

needing to move more. to sleep more.

wishing for caden to be having a fantastic week away at volleball camp up north with his buddy. i'm happy for him to meet new people and learn new skills.

waiting impatiently for my appointment with the doctor to tell me my test my results. i've never been so frustrated. i'm thinking of just getting all the test results and taking them to medcan. i am done with this nonsense.

thinking i have to figure out how i can do all that i want to do and still write the story i have in my head. and then the story after that. and the one after that.

enjoying knowing i still have stories to write.

paying for more truck repairs. holy smokes. teenagers take their toll!

encouraging an enthusiastic, fully focused and engaged start to the school year.

celebrating the promise of routine a few days away. okay, a week away, but hope is alive!

cultivating a happy household of open communication. now that we're in a bigger place, with more doors and more privacy, i am making sure we have plenty of family time - either at the kitchen table sharing a meal or watching a stupid reality show on tv in the family room.

marveling at how much the kids and i accomplished in such a short period of time. in the course of three months: we bought a house, (partially) moved, put a house on the market, applied and accepted to a prep school, drove to massachusetts - twice, spent holidays in cape cod, had two homes painted, drove to multiple baseball and softball games and practices, camps and cottages and concerts and then the smaller but equally significant events that kept the summer moving along.

anticipating more change, more kindness, more love, more challenge, more frustration, more embracing, more learning, more love.

and tada, a photo from my week:

 

 

anticipation | back to school, again

Blink! Summer is over ...

John Bell Chapel bell, Appleby College, 2011

I am a big fan of this time of year as it is a time for renewal for me. I take a look and re-evaluate where I am compared to where I want to be. Back-to-School season, for me, is a time for coloured pencils, glue and renewal of focus and projects. As a fan of beginnings, I love this season!

• Claire has left to return to Kingston. She is was chosen to be a Gael - an orientation leader for the freshmen - and has returned to Queen's to prepare for the new academic (and more) year ahead.
• Cole is preparing to move into residence for Grade 12. This is part of the deal at their school. I believe it is that way to prepare students for university life. I don't know how effective it is - or if the lesson is for the kids or the parents. It is what it is, and we signed up for it.
• Chloé has elected to stay home and not attend prep school in Massachusetts. This was for a few reasons: she did not want to be so very far away from home; and, she didn't want to feel she was "running away" from her problems (aka, bullying) and is prepared to stand up for herself moving forward.
• Caden is entering - wait as I take a deep breath - high school! He's now over 6 feet tall and open to all high school has to offer - and some classes as well :S
• Academic calendars have been purchased and our "new year" is all set to begin.
• The move into our new house continues. As we wait for the closing of the townhouse, we miss beds, tables, cupboards and other furniture. I laugh that we moved the contents but none of the cupboards, but the clutter is starting to get to me!
• Uniforms are in with the dry cleaner and the missing pieces are being purchased. I can't believe how many ties and socks we've collected over the years!
• I'm turning 50 in a few days. Seriously. When did that happen?
• Pre-season camps are being held at the school and both Cole and Caden are at four days of varsity volleyball preparation. I hope they both do well!
• Town tryouts are coming up, too!
• Books, so many books! My kids don't often take the same courses as the child before them - and by the time they do, the text has changed. All of the books have been sorted and all of the new books ordered.
• For the first time in ever I do not have to purchase any new shoes for the start of the school year. What is going on?
• Softball is winding down for Chloé. I love that she still loves this game. I hope she plays it for the rest of her life.
• The weather has been so wonky. In mid-August the breezes were blowing hard at 15C - today they're still blowing but up to 25C!
• I have caught a brutal summer cold. I've been hacking up my lungs for over a week now with no sign of it clearning up.
• I miss my daily walks.
• Cleaning out the garages. They have collected a lot of "extras" of summer and the clutter collected during the move. At least I know one will soon be 100% empty!
• The truck and Claire's car have been fully checked out and all necessary repairs made. We should be good through Thanksgiving when the snow tires go on.
• Rumours of fired teachers - and the stories - abound. I'm looking forward to just starting the year so that the kids, and parents, focus on the work and not the drama.
• Cole is moving into residence and taking two positions of responsibility in Powells House: Deck Captain and Health & Wellness Leader. He's going to have a full year!
• I look out at all the beautiful trees in our new back yard, towering oaks and others, filled with leaves. Leaves that will eventually land on the ground. It's a good thing I never got rid of the rakes! This will add a whole new aspect to my fitness routine. I think I'd better start looking for the snow shovel, too.
• Chloé has a new faculty advisor and we expect DT to be a nice calming influence making sure Chloé feels supported and valued.
• Vocal lessons are scheduled with both Cole and Chloé returning to Gregory Cross for instruction. Chloé is going all-in to OPERA! Such good stuff. Not only that, but I'm starting in My Pop Choir. I'm so looking forward to be sing again.
• The annual Temagami trips are coming up. My heart will be in my throat until Caden returns!
• My routine will get back into full swing: reformer Pilates and Meditation at iGita; yoga and pod at Zenbar; art therapy; writing workshops; and, lunches and catch-up with my cottage-loving friends who have been away all summer.
• I may even get into a regular blog routine?

Hmm ...

What are your plans for back to school?

#augustbreak2014 | 27 lines

I was looking everywhere, all week, for "leading lines" and couldn't find any that visually worked for me. Last evening, it was sweltering hot outside - the first super hot day of the summer, and the sun was low leaving shadows created by the iron railings intersecting the spaces between the boards of the deck.

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

#augustbreak2014 | 26 morning

My mornings are not always the same, but they do all include watching Canada AM, computer catch-up (writing and Facebook) and a cup of coffee.

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

real right now | living la vida single

I know it is not considered the most popular choice, but since my separation and subsequent divorce, I've chosen to remain single. This is not for lack of opportunity, but I wanted to take some time to be alone to figure out who I was and who I want to become, without distraction. Though, alone surrounded by four active teenagers is not the same as being alone, solitary.

There are a few things I've embraced in the last four or five years:

STAY SINGLE.

Without any judgment, this part has been easy. It was time for me to do some real hard work and soul searching and it didn't make sense for me to drag a stranger, even a cooperative one, through the journey. I want to find someone when I am healed, not when I am shattered. I am now at the point where I am happy and healthy enough to consider the possibility of reinvolvement and am often baffled when people are so fearful of being alone that they jump right into relationships without consideration of their own physical and mental health, their wholeness. Perhaps it is because I've always known that being in a relationship is not a goal, it is a part of an experience, not the experience. My wholeness has been my priority.

RECONNECT WITH FRIENDS.

This part of the process has been awesome. I have managed, in spite of my inate ability to sabotage myself, to curate an absolutely wonderful group of friends - men and women - and I am regularly reminded of their fabulousness. They were so wonderful when I needed to vent, bounce ideas, make plans and simply cry (since I'm allowed to do that now!). They got me out of my comfort zone and out of the house to Yoga, to Euchre, to the driving range, to Meditation, to the movies and theatre, to lunches out, to reformer Pilates, to the Oakville Club, to Zenbar, to Harper's Landing to people watch and laugh, to sell and to buy and sell and buy homes, to writing workshops and art therapy classes. I am truly grateful to all of them - individually and collectively.

RECONNECT WITH FAMILY.

This part has been a lot of fun. I have four sisters (of the full and step variety) and all of us have kids and very full lives. We all live in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) and it is wonderful not just for us to connect with each other and our parents, but to foster strong relationships among the 12 grandchildren who range in age from 18 to 1! We've enjoyed many celebrations: graduations, birthdays, holidays and simple visits that often morph into big events. Before any of these gatherings there are no mindless arguments, emotional blackmail, attempts at sabotage or undermining of carefully built relationships - if some are only fragile attempts at d'étant. Everyone cleans up nicely and puts on their big girl (and boy) panties and we have learned to enjoy rather than armour up. One of the best things that happened to my children was spending Thanksgiving (2012) with my extended family in the Maritimes a couple of years ago. From that point forward they knew, felt fully, that they were a part of a much larger, loving and connected, group. It was a life altering experience for all of us. My family rocks.

SPEND TIME WITH MARRIED FRIENDS.

Most of my friends are married. Happily so. It is so very nice to be exposed to healthy relationships that have endured the test of time and teenagers and aging parents and sickness and health. I am especially grateful to the husbands of my friends who have gone out of their way to provide a strong male figure in the lives of my kids who feel the sting of paternal abandonment. Sadly so. I have a few friends who think it is so much better on my side of the relationship world and in a few cases I've had to advocate quite strongly for councelling and compromise. My exposure to both happy and unhappy friends has simply confirmed to me that single was my only option.

TRAVEL.

After our cruise on the Oasis of the Seas, birthday trip to Barbados and my annual visits to Canyon Ranch in Tucson, I have come to the conclusion that I am happy to be a homebody. We've driven to Welland and London in a blizzard, actually two blizzards for volleyball; to Stratford to enjoy wonderful plays and some baseball; to Toronto for sports events, concerts, family and great food; to Niagara Falls for the crazy of it all; to Muskoka to enjoy cottage country; and Kingston for regular visits with Claire. Each summer I take the kids with me to our beach house in Cape Cod for at least 5 days, preferably longer but sometimes that just doesn't work out! Sometimes we stop on the way, sometimes we go straight through. We take day trips some years and other years finds us not leaving the beach. I'm happy to live the great long-haul adventures vicariously through my kids as they go off on their adventures! If I were to go anywhere in the future, I'm thinking about heading to Glastonbury for some spiritual infusion, or drive around the ring road in Iceland, or to walk in the streets of history in Rome or Athens. We'll see.

BE PICKY.

Okay, so this was a challenge! I have come to learn that my time has value and I dole it out carefully. Time is an investment and I do not invest in something that does not nourish me in some way as a person with value. I now spend time with people who are kind, who bring out the best in me, who challenge me. I now choose activities that are kind, that bring out the best in me, that challenge me. I am no longer so concerned about my likeability that I settle into some expectation of others. I've also carefully re-evaluated every one of my romantic entaglements of the past and can see clearly the similarities, a consistent trend, among the men I have dated. I will not date that kind of man again. I know what to avoid in the future and on the two opportunities the universe has given me recently I'm not feeling the pull of temptation toward that type of man any more.

FIND MYSELF.

This was hard. I was lost. For a long time I couldn't remember who I was or who I wanted to be. I kept myself so busy to distract me from the failures inside me, my desperate feeling of scarcity and need. I battled daily with my constant insecurity and (bizarrely) surrounded myself with people - men and women - who fed the false reality that I was not enough. Kicked to the curb they all went, one by one. As it is known to do, the universe was busy sending me tests and this one I passed with flying colours. I don't know that I'll have to pass that particular challenge again. Thank goodness I have an insatiable curiosity about everything and once I focused it on myself and my own happiness and self-acceptance there was no turning back. The woman I lost has now been found, and has improved. I'm delighted to make new discoveries every day. I am enjoying the evolution of me. I am especially thankful for Brené Brown, Danielle LaPorte, Sarah Addison Allen, Cathy Zielske, Arianna Huffington and so many more in-person examples of consistent authenticity and courage.

LET GO.

In the process of finding myself was the necessity to let go. I am divorced for a reason - well, many reasons, as is every person who has split up with anyone ... ever. When I tell people the specifics of my situation it often leaves them breathless, but I've realized that on the whole, my situation is far from unique. I needed to learn to let go of the anger, distrust, and sadness. My situation was made easier as I was forced to be stronger than I am and more resilient than I am for the four children I am solely responsible to raise. It took some time, but I finally got myself to a space where I was grateful for the lessons I learned about myself. I became a far better person than I ever would have been without that 20-year experience.

GET HEALTHY.

Armed with Synthroid, new Asics and FitBit, I was determined to get in shape. I walked until I hurt myself - my left hip and my right knee were reminders of long-forgotten tennis injuries. As a result I've embraced meditation, yoga and reformer Pilates and I am stronger than ever before. If only swimming weren't so wet - and cold! My food choices changed to include far more fruits and vegetables and far less bread and starch; far more protein and almost no sugar. There has been absolutely ZERO change to my weight. It has been excruciatingly frustrating - for me and the doctors. I have not let it deter me and my efforts. As much as I'd like to drown my sorrows in a Carol's Cheesecake Company carrot cake, I don't. There are still things I can do, like drink more water and less wine but I'm doing the best I can.

MEET NEW PEOPLE.

With new activities have come new people - many new people. Not only have I exposed myself to art classes, writing classes, book clubs, fitness classes, meditation classes, life coaching, new activities for the kids and the instructors, but all of the participants, too. I have been invited to parties for friends and know that there will be rooms filled with people I do not know. Such social engagement fills me with paralyzing apprehension and I have backed out a few times. Lately though, even with the same fear, I've gone out the door and enjoyed my time out and engaged with the world around me. I do believe that I can now fully embrace my "man list" and put it out there with confidence that there is someone out there who can meet my unchanged criteria :)

ENJOY IT.

I am. Every minute of my life is a challenge, but those challenges are now met with patience, kindness and understanding. I know it's cliché to say that you can't be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself, but it's true. I am making consistently good choices and looking forward to a bright and sparkling future ahead.

#augustbreak2014 | 25 little

There is not much little in my life, or around me! Occasionally there are little problems, challenges and nuisances. Weeds? Tufts of grass? All growing where it doesn't belong is my current little nuisance - and my chore for the day ahead :)

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

hello monday | 134

hello paradiso. with jonathan's closed on sunday we were stuck for a place to eat! for the first time in a couple of years we went over with my sister and her family. i forgot how lovely it is. nice to have options! 

hello packing. claire finished work on friday and is now getting everything prepped and ready to move to kingston.

hello stager. a friend of mine is a home stager. we're going to take a look today and see if we can get the old house organized and shipped over to the new house. who knows, i may sleep in my own bed sooner than expected!

hello mall. we're entering official "back to school" season.

hello move more. i'm back to reformer pilates this week. i've also signed up for the whole life challenge. my new fitbit flex has arrived, too!

hello humidity. we've been blessed with cool weather lately. gone! the humidity has arrived.

hello braces. goodbye braces. chloé will be metal-free in time for the start of school!

hello forgetful. dropped caden and his buddy b at the bus in barrie for volleyball camp. i was home an hour before i got a text from caden that he'd forgotten his rec specs. funny but not in the least bit surprising. i hope he can see the ball this week!

hello walk off the earth. i so love their covers - especially this one.

hello monday. you are my most favourite day of the week. i love that you provide me with 52 fresh starts every year.

 

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

#augustbreak2014 | 24 memory

In 2006 we spent a quiet summer in Cape Cod - totally oblivious to what was in the future. I spent my days at the beach with the kids. It was wonderful!

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

#augustbreak2014 | 23 adornment

Fresh out of the box is my new FitBit Flex. I'm about to take it out for its inaugural walk. It will be my constant adornment for the next while - at least until the snow flies, and maybe after that.

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

#augustbreak2014 | 22 shadow

Oh, how I love photos of myself. Okay, that's a lie. I like photos of shadows - tall, thinner versions - of myself :) So far, this has been the toughest prompt of them all. "Shadow" woke up a lot of interpretations in my ever whirling mind.

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Susannah Conway is again hosting this community project - simply take a photograph every day for the whole month of August. Live inside each moment and pay attention to what is around you.

<<< Click on the button and to go to her page and see the list of prompts.

There are lots of posting options - blog, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, just be sure to use the #augustbreak2014 hashtag!

Wishcasting | 29, 30, 31 & 32

I had started random Wishcasting years ago. In January of this year I signed up to take the course through the year starting with prompt 1; prompts 2 - 4, prompts 5 - 8 and then managed to let other things get in the way! I've decided to catch up so this is officially Wishcasting Week: 4 prompts a day for the next six days!

WISHCASTING | 29 Where do you wish to TRAVEL?

I have decided that I am a home-body. I love the idea of travel but I hate the increasing inconvenience of it all. If there were a way to get to your destination instantaneously - with no charge for your luggage or line at customs, I'd go everywhere! As it stands, I plan to live vicariously through my children who plan to go to exotic places. I wish to go to the UK: revisit castles in Scotland; take in the myth and wonder found in Glastonbury in England; enjoy the pubs in Ireland; drive the ring road in Iceland; and, maybe go to Italy to walk in the steps of history. Other than that, I'm content to keep my traveling to those destinations I can make within a day or two in my truck, with the simple adventures the journey provides.

What about you? Where do you wish to travel?

WISHCASTING | 30 What do you wish to CHOOSE?

I am fortunate to be in a position where I am able to choose just about anything I want without restriction. Well, there is always the time and money restrictions we all have, but beyond that I enjoy very few limitations except those I put on myself. My logical brain recognizes fully that I have 100% control over all of the choices I make. I'd like to choose without my self-imposed ego-motivated limitations - or the expectations of others - getting in the way. The idea that "I can't" or "I'm not enough" or "the idea isn't good enough" or "no one would be interested" would be better off banished from my brain!

What about you? What do you wish to choose?

WISHCASTING | 31 How do you wish to EXPRESS YOURSELF?

Writing. I wish to express myself and my core desired feelings and beliefs through stories and characters. I have been mulling different ideas ranging from picture books for toddlers to giant tomes of readable fun and adventure. I am finally getting to the point where I have not just one simple idea, but many. If you had asked me a year ago, I'd have told you this would be an impossibility - my creative well had run dry. The passage of time has certainly worked it's magic and I am happily in the optimistic beginning stages of writing again. Happy sigh.

What about you? How do you wish to express yourself?

WISHCASTING | 32 What do you wish for your WELL-BEING?

I am enjoying this long journey to wellness - mind, body and soul - My mind is always occupied with concepts and ideas, my body is moving and tests are being done for the parts that don't function properly and my soul is being constantly nourished through meditation and practice. For continued wellness, I would like for my almost always perfect kids to be more respectful of each other and bicker less! That would do my mind, body, soul AND heart good :)

What about you? What do you wish for your well-being?

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These are responses to the prompts found in Jamie Ridler's 52-week e-course: What If You Filled Your Year With Wishes. Though I'm more goal-oriented than a dream-believer, I have a fondness for wishes. Recently, there has been much heart-work done and I can be more authentic, more gentle and more kind with myself and my wishes.