Embrace Life

Learning to Linger

Linger.

Such a seductive word.

Hey, I need a little seduction right now, so I'm learning to linger.

I have had a bad habit of rushing through things to get to the next. I often don't enjoy and savour what I'm doing in an effort to get to the next thing. I am learning to slow down, take my time and linger.

• Now I've learned to show up at school to pick up the kids a little early. Instead of being anxious in the parking lot, I use the time to read, write a list, watch the interaction between students/parents, make calls to schedule and confirm appointments. Okay, so sometimes my linger is a bit productive!
• I am trying to carve out "white space" on my weekly calendar. I use my time running errands more efficiently, grouping things by area of town, or nature of errand, so I can take the saved time to read a book or magazine, a blog or online article. (After re-reading perhaps I could use this time to *gasp* exercise!)
• I no longer feel compelled to compete with - or feel inadequate around - the "list mums", those ladies who can (from memory) rattle off an endless list of all the things they are going to accomplish that day. From the Starbucks who made their coffee inadequately to mani/pedi and haircut to grocery shopping for the gourmet meal they'll make that evening to sharpening skates for the game they'll cheer to painting class or jazzercize or private trainer. You, my dears, can have your list!
• Meals are now bigger and more complex if we have the time. No one says we have to eat by a particular time. If we have activities early in the evening, we just eat a bit later. If we have activities later, we eat a bit earlier. I'm learning to enjoy the process of shopping (well, writing up the list after perusing recipes) and preparing food, every day.
• I turn on music, pick up a magazine, grab a blanket and curl up on the couch in the middle of the day. What? Yes, I do. All fear of criticism and distain is gone!
• This new sense of delay is everywhere - even in my shower! I am notorious for my 5-minute shower. This is usually because I am the last one and there is no hot water left. Now with the new tank, I revel in a few extra minutes of washing my troubles down the drain!

My lingering all seems to be pretty active. Probably not the real definition of the word! But I am getting there. I'm hoping to take a few classes in meditation in the spring. In the meantime, perhaps instead of picking up anything, I could just turn on music and simply breathe rather than picking up a book or magazine!

New Space = New Colours

Though we are still stuck in "transition" with half of our furniture in the old house for staging purposes, we've been able to get some stuff done in our new place to make it feel like home. The very first thing we did was pick colours. Personally, this is my favourite aspect of moving!

This time around we changed things up completely! No more earth tones in the main areas - which is now just one HUGE room, the whole main floor - and the kids were able to not just pick their colours but to paint their own rooms. That was an adventure.

It's a huge job to transform a whole new house and I was happy for some help cutting-in. There was a TON of that to do!

As much as I loved my "Maple Syrup" and "Spiced Rum" of the old place, I fell in love with the idea of having gray walls and decided on:

HC-164 Puritan Gray

On the wall it is a bit more blue than I had expected, but since I was going for a complete change it really was in keeping with the theme!

All of the trim is my usual (thanks to my step-mum who, close to 20 years ago, recommended it):

CC-100 Flurry

Claire has been begging for bright green for ages now and when you decend into her room you'd think you were entering a space ship for the glow:

2031-40 Spring Garden Green

Chloe decided on a "feature wall" with the same green (convenient, or totally manipulative of her mother?) and the other three walls covered an odd taupy-beigy-pink with:

CC-110 Muslin

The boys are so funny, a study in contrast, and their colours are so reflective of their personalities. Cole went with his favourite from our old house, the colour of our kitchen, the invigorating:

CC-92 Autumn Leaf (Canada only)

And Caden chose the soothing:

2050-50 Waterfall

Me? Well, I really LOVED my old room - especially the colour. Since this one is not that much different in size, I thought I'd just stick with what I like:

CC-390 Rusty Nail

What a mish-mash of colour!

What is your home like? Do the colours flow seamlessly from hue to hue or does it reflect the range of personalities and tastes of the occupants?

I promise, once we're fully furnished, assets divided, and the last picture is hung on all well painted walls, I'll post pics :)

Reflections | July 2011

Are you getting tired of hearing that we were busy? Well, this month things did slow down ... a tad. The pace was a little different with more spontaneous days and complete lack of structure. I have to say, for a control freak like myself, it was a challenge!

Adding to the slower pace: our annual holiday in Cape Cod!

The kids really enjoyed the freedom the month had to offer with requests to go here, there and everywhere. Pushing boundaries and rules every minute of every day. With all that going on, we managed:

• Cole participated in the training camp for Rugby Ontario. He was chosen in the position of lock for the U14 team. Plans were quickly underway for tournaments in Ottawa and BC!
• Both Chloe and Caden needed to get new glasses. They look fabulous in their new frames! Even better? They can see.
• I finally got in with our naturopath with my blood test results. He switched things up a bit and things are all working together now. Feeling better every day.
• Passports were collected and consent papers were signed. We were all set for our annual drive to the seashore.
• Claire has re-joined rugby this year and she is enjoying herself.
• Caden is a hooker and a very aggressive rugby player. He really enjoys tackling! He's pretty good at is as he's had plenty of practice over the years with Cole as his teacher!
• There were a number of pool parties - planned and unplanned. Tons of fun! Thank you to our many friends with refreshing water in their yards.
• Cole managed to keep up a crazy pace of Rugby playing for his local Crusaders club as well as the Ontario Blues. He's being injured regularly, but he loves it. The worst injury was a questionable concussion right before we left on holiday. Good timing! Not.
• We took care of him with regular visits to the chiro and RMT. The boy has to find a sport that doesn't regularly turn him into a pretzel.
• Caden loves his hockey and has managed to run away with the penalty title at 3on3 over at Canlan. You just have to roll your eyes. He's so mild mannered off the ice - and off the pitch :)
• Chloe continues to sing up a storm. We're organizing singing and piano lessons in the fall. Any recommendations are welcome!
• I'm also looking for a math tutor, for all of them :) Confidence is key, right? They are good, but not confident, so I need someone to bolster that aspect. Recommendations?
• My very social teenagers are enjoying life as teenagers. There is a ton of drama, lots of questions, tons of laughter, some very off-colour and crude humour, more spontaneity than I can handle, and I now think I know every neighbourhood in Oakville! There really should be a gas subsidy for mothers of teens.
• Someone has to tell my kids that I really do not need to go onto match.com or any other type of coupling site. Really. (But they are so funny about getting me "out there" and dating. Cracks me up. They are so lovely and concerned and funny.)
• Caden took me by surprise suggesting his ideal change in my domestic situation - which made me react with an extreme "throw the baby out with the bathwater" knee-jerk response. I've now relaxed and realized he's only just eleven and he's entitled to his outlandish ideas. I, on the other hand, am not.
• Claire and her good friend Nikki headed into Toronto via the GO train to see Hugh Jackman in his one man show. They were overwhelmed with how wonderful it was - going on and on about how lovely he was - and how they were the youngest members of his audience! Gotta love girls that recognize good looks and talent no matter the age :)
• Disappointed that Cole was unable to attend the Mini Chowder Cup in Foxboro. We were 90 minutes away, with his equipment, but we didn't want to risk his "possible" concussion and turn it into a more serious issue. Lounging at the beach was better for his recovery than a hockey tournament.
• In order to not disrupt the seaside holiday of all my kids, I took Cole home early to make it to the rugby gams vs Lindsay then on to the Ottawa tournament. Often, due to Cole's athletic success - and previously, Claire's athletic success - sacrifices have had to be made. This time around, with much thanks to a helpful community, the only one disrupted was me!
• We received an impossibly low offer on our house. Insulting, really. What are people thinking? At least offer what we paid for the place!
• Our holiday was wonderful. HOT and sticky, and wonderful. So nice to see Grampy and Nanna in such a relaxed and low-key environment. Lazy days were spent at the beach; playing croquet on the lawn; learning to drive (Claire); learning to play pool; listening to new summer music; eating watermelon, ice cream and seafood; mall shopping (ugh); reading summer fluff; napping and lounging around. It was a bit too hot for a few things - tennis or go carting, but fun nonetheless!
• While away I was featured on the Simple Aussie Girls blog. So honoured!
• We were so happy my sister Beth and her family made it up early so we could have a BBQ with them before we had to leave for home.
• I am amazed at the number of people on the road talking, texting, even using their computers in their cars! And speeding. Sigh. Caden observed this behaviour and commented that it was only mums with kids in their vehicles that seemed to drive the speed limit with few distractions. (Little does he know how distracting the kids can be!)
• I participated in the Ali Edwards-lead A Week In The Life project and it's slowly being put together. I went 100% digi this year. LOVE the results! Now just have to find the right printer.
• It seemed much like the month-without-Cole with him being so involved in his rugby. The Ontario Blues U14 team did well in Lindsay then on to Ottawa for the U16 tournament to prepare them for the competition in British Columbia. All I know is there is a big difference between a U14 rugby player and a U16 rugby player - and that is usually around 40 pounds of muscle!
• The end of July has Cole (still) in British Columbia with his team. They are representing themselves well and Cole has fallen in love with BC.
• Much of our time is spent doing very little inside or outdoors, in order to keep the house spotless. The hot and humid was gone - and now it's back. So tired of summer!
• Upon our return we were right back into rugby. Oh, how I prefer the character of this sport to hockey. It is far more brutal but it is also far more honest. I'm thinking I'd love to see some of those SOBs from hockey try to survive a season of rugby - if they did, they'd no longer be SOBs, of that I'm sure.
• I also returned to some drama regarding the new abode. Turns out the sellers want to back out of the part of the deal that made it a deal. Holy smokes! Heaven and earth has now been moved and we're back on track. Though 15 days delayed. Some stress I just don't need.
• I am reading! Fiction! By chance, when walking through Barnes & Noble I found The Girl Who Chased the Moon and it was lovely, enchanting. Once done with it, I ran out and got Garden Spells and will be on the look out for any and all books by Sarah Addison Allen in the future!
• I may have lost a son for a couple of weeks, but Nikki has filled his spot and I still have four to look after, and I'm happy for it. She's a lovely girl.
• Chloe started private singing lessons with her OCC choir director, Janet. She loves it and I love that she has a passion for it.
• Through summer our Pub Nights are a bit few and far between, but the last evening of the month saw us over at the Abbey Arms. I haven't been there in 10+ years. It was good - as long as they can pour beer and wine it's a good pub experience, right?

And with July finished that brings us to August. We still have six weeks before the kids get back to the routine of school and I desperately miss having a routine! This summer has been far more hectic than most and I'm feeling a bit discombobulated. The kids are loving every minute of it with no structure to our days and the embrace of lazy!

Studio Chaos

Do you think the Simple Scrapper will be able to help me with this mess:

I hope so!

Tomorrow, Jennifer is starting a FREE online course: FINALLY GET ORGANIZED: a decluttering and simplicity workshop for Scrapbookers. It is running from April 25 - 29 and I'M IN!

Included is:

4 Keys to Finally Getting Organized

plus these brand new email lessons:

Easily Take Stock of your Scrapbook Supplies
One Little Quiz to Help you Simplify and Prioritize
Create your Scrapbook Supply Battle Plan
The Most Effective Strategies for Making it Work

I don't know about you but you saw the photos above, I am really ready to finally get organized. I'm all signed up, are you?

Project: Simplify :: Hot Spot 01

Last week I did my best to ignore the fact there was snow coating every surface outside my house and embrace the idea of SPRING cleaning inside my house. This week’s hot spot: wardrobe and closet.

This is a weird project for me since the idea was to touch touch every single item of clothing in my wardrobe, and make a decision whether it stays or goes. While this is a BRILLIANT idea, since I'm now in the midst of another project, my effort to make less of me, it was quite a challenge! I am happy to report I was able to donate, organize and list items within the Monday-Friday timeframe. (For me it was Monday-Thursday as Friday was spent in a rink!)

I liked that the very first area assigned for this project was my wardrobe. An unlikely starting point, but such a relief now that it is DONE! Like most mums, I don't spend a lot of time focused on me and most of the areas that are a mess in my house are MINE! It was fun to focus only on me for a change.

I am a believer in modeling behaviour in order to encourage good choices in my kids and I have to (sadly) admit that by not taking care of myself, I have failed in that regard. I must be more mindful of this from now on.

Now that my closet - and as a result my bedroom chairs - are cleaned up, purged and organized, I'm ready to tackle the next project! Can I tell you how nice it is to get ready in only a few minutes? Everything has its proper place and I am now surrounded only by the things I love. Well half the things I love - I refused to clean the "other" half of the closet as my "other half" can take care of his own things!

THIS IS HOW I DID IT:

I loved the system outlined to complete this project. It really is all about having the right tools. I modified the list to reflect the materials I have here in the house. I refused to purchase anything for this project and so far, so good. (Though I do have a couple of things on a list!)

• extra hangers
• a large garbage bag (black) for items to “give”
• a smaller garbage bag (white) for items to “toss”
• camera
• cleaning supplies: rags, soap & water

I followed the basic plan for attacking my wardrobe:

1. Make sure all your clothes are washed and in one place. (CHECK - what a bear of a project this was making sure my laundry was all done.)
2. Set aside all items you already know you don’t want — wearable in the “give” box; unwearable in the “toss” box. (CHECK - this was the fastest part of the whole project)
3. Try on all the rest of your clothes — no cheating. (CHECK with an asterisk - I cheated. Why? My plan is to get down to a size 18 from my current 22, maybe size 16 if I go crazy! I'm loathe to toss or donate anything classic and will go through the process when I settle on whatever size I become - probably some time around back to school season.)
4. Anything that doesn’t fit well, put in a separate pile. (This will be done when #3 is completed with no cheating next time!)
5. Anything that isn’t the right color on you, put in the “give” box. (CHECK - this was easy and yielded two articles of clothing.)
6. Anything that has un-mendable holes or stains, is unwearable, or underwear that’s seen better days, put in the “toss” box. (CHECK - this was easy as I do this regularly in the laundry room and yielded zero articles of clothing.)
7. Once your closet and drawers are empty, clean them. (CHECK)
8. Hang, fold, and put away the clothes you know you’re keeping. (CHECK - but I have to say, being 5'11" makes for long clothes and it's hard to fold pants and make them fit regular sized shelves. Frustrating. Maybe I should have rolled everything?)
9. Reassess the items in your doesn’t-fit-well pile. (Again, once the #3 assesment is done this will be part of the process.)
10. Tackle your shoes, jewelry, and other accessories. (CHECK and since I'm not much of a shoe or jewelry collector, relatively easy. Scarves on the other hand? TONS and I kept every last one of them!)

I was thankful for the tips set out at the start and I employed most of them:

1. Work quickly - I stuck with my first response to every single item. It really helped me make it through. I don't know why it is when you hit the 90% done point you are ready to stop, it was well worth grinding through to the end.

2. Use your mirror and camera - I did neither. I have no full length mirror (I know, I have issues) and doing this alone the camera was no help. I went more by feel.

3. Know your colours - and I do. I live in BLACK, WHITE, BROWN and RED. With a few pieces of purple and camel thrown in for variety.

4. You probably wear the same 10 items - so true. Well loved, but becoming well worn. I decided early last year that I would not purchase anything new until I had a new body - in January I rededicated myself to that goal, with better tools and better decisions. I have to tell you things are getting pretty desperate and I may end up in rags at the rate I'm going!

5. Analyze why something doesn’t quite fit - which I did. I love her tip: "If there’s something you know looks good on you, but you can’t quite wear it right now (breastfeeding, anyone?), store it out of the way — but not too out of the way that you forget you own it." I have too much storage space in my closet, so I used the centre island unit for all of the clothes I hope to wear in the VERY NEAR FUTURE.

6. Don't donate clothes that won't sell - I was puzzled that this would be on this list only because it never would occur to me to give the work to someone else, but I'm sure there's a reason.

7. Label yard sale items immediately - ha! NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER again. I will only toss or donate. Yard sale? Eek!

8. Deal with your "give box" this week - done. Amazing when I do a project start to finish, it starts and it finishes and it is done completely. What a wonderful relief! I'm fortunate to pass the donate bin about 4 times a day. I had no excuses!

On to the next hot spot!

Project: Simplify

As I posted on Friday, today is the start of Project: Simplify over at simplemom.net and I'm ready to get started. I read through the grapevine that Environment Canada has announced that we are to expect three more months, yes MONTHS of winter, so I have to simulate spring in some way, so cleaning and simplifying is my method of choice!

If you're on board, and checked out the simplemom.net post on Friday, you'll know that the pre-assignment was to come up with a family statement of purpose.

(click to enlarge)

You can see we borrowed bits from Tsh, but for the most part it is all us. It's all done and ready to take over to Fortino's later today and have an 8"x10" print made. I'll put it in the family room, or kitchen, as a regular reminder. If you're wondering about the missing "god" bits? The simple explanation is that I have four kids in various stages of belief and disbelief, I want to make this concept of a family statement of purpose accessible and not create any unnecessary conflict - for now.

What about you? Do you have a statement of purpose for your family? Have you considered one? Up until this point we've had a certain commonality of understanding, but nothing was concrete and written down. I don't know that this could have been done much before now but am I ever glad it's done!

Now it's time to work on the assignment. I'll post the before and after shots of my hot spot later in the week. Good luck working on yours!

RANT :: Crumbs (and other small messes)

Do not read further if you are looking for a happy encouraging start to your day! Optimism and positivity will return tomorrow. When my house is clean.

I don't know about you, but I spent most of my weekend in a rink. Well, to be precise, I was in four rinks - from downtown Toronto to Welland. I managed close to 400km on the truck.

My weekend was a bit busier than usual, but not much. Though, with only limited time before the holidays, it did put a crimp in my plans and nothing got done around my house - except for the bomb that apparently went off in every single room.

RANT BEGINS ::

Every time I walked into the house there were again, more crumbs on the counter and inevitably on the floor, clothing on the floor as they missed the bins and a full dishwasher worth of plates, cups and bowls in the overflowing kitchen sink. Not one bed was made and not one newspaper picked up or cup put in the dishwasher - or even the sink! Maybe because it was overflowing. Not just that but someone apparently thought they wanted to break apart some corrugated boxes and then lost interest - and left me a gift of cardboard pieces to dispose scattered all over the family room floor.

Grr.

I left a list.

Hello?

Clearly that list got lost under some homework or laundry or crumbs. Goodness knows it didn't make its way into a garbage can.

Who needs a list when the mess is so obvious everywhere!

I'm exhausted with the realization that I will clean it all up. All day today.

Why?

Because I cannot wait until the end of school to have my kids figure it out and clean up. I cannot stand mess. I cannot stand sticky. I cannot stand the utter disrespect for my time or my surroundings. I am tired of lecturing the kids, encouraging the kids, begging the kids to clean up after themselves. I've tried everything.

Except, I've never just cleaned it up. I've always waited and made them clean up after themselves. Clearly there is no impact.

To save my sanity, I have to sign off for the day and grab a big garbage bag!

:: RANT ENDS Thank you for your patience!

My iPod is now charged, garbage bag collected, recycle bin is at the ready. I can start. My reward? A clean house and (fingers crossed) time to make stuff later on today.